Actuallyautistic - Blog Posts

While Apple Sauce seems to have people’s attention

some of y'all got way too comfortable with looking every excuse to villianize a disabled person.

yes disabled people can also be shitty, but i don't see you have the same energy towards ableds?

different rant below

also i feel like the yell about "look disabled ppl are now closer to equality" is just. fake as hell. because me and many other people are still treated like second class citizens even among our own, we often live in loneliness because people DO NOT want to interact with us.

also, dear ableds please cherish your privilege on having social skills and mobility WITHOUT pushing it onto us like it's something everyone has.

"just go outside and make friends" what a way to say you are so privileged you have no big issues with socializing, rachel

Yk when you're having a conversation and it's like... too much stuff is going on, options, tasks, plans, etc, and it gets too overwhelming, but you can't do anything about it bc then you're being "rude". Like, I'm just overstimulated. Like, they claim to want to help me, but the moment it becomes annoying they just give up completely.

Personally, I prefer not to use labels. But I'm fine with others using it for themselves and stuff.

Edit: Yk after some thinking I feel like yeah things like support labels are deffo useful when they are not being used to put some people's needs below others - that was the main reason why I didn't like it, but I think if used well instead of as "well you're low-support so you should be able to do that", they are actually good tools.

I think this is something really, really important. It can be hard to feel like you're "not disabled anough". Being "high-functioning", not ticking all the boxes, not being the textbook definition, not being "neurodivergent anough".

As a "high-functioning" autistic, I constantly feel like I'm not autistic anough. Like I act too "normal". But then I feel so guilty, because I should feel so lucky and grateful that I don't struggle as much as others. I feel so selfish for wanting people to recognise that I struggle too.

Just know you are valid. It doesn't matter if your diagnosis is official or not. It doesnt matter if you're labeled as "high-functioning" or "low-functioning". It doesn't matter, because you are valid.

(not just talking about autism btw. This goes for all neurodivergents <3333)

fuck it. shout out to "high functioning" neurodivergents

the ones who can mask easily, the ones who can get social cues, the ones who have managed to go most of their life not even knowing they were ND because they didn't present as the stereotypical ND person.

the ones who can pay attention in class, understand social etiquette, who understand societial expectations

the ones who don't feel neurodivergent enough bc they don't struggle in the same ways/areas a lot of NDs do, or they can't relate to other NDs' experiences because they always understood these things easily

the ones with high empathy, the ones who DO get the joke, the ones who are constantly told that they can't possibly be neurodivergent because they don't act like what you'd expect a neurodivergent person to act like.

you are neurodivergent enough. you are valid, and so are your experiences. not struggling as much as others do in some places doesn't mean you dont struggle at all. your condition and diagnosis is valid. your symptoms are valid. YOU ARE VALID. not checking all the supposed boxes doesn't mean you aren't neurodivergent. you are enough. you are valid. you are loved. you are valued. you matter. you belong in neurodivergent spaces, you deserve to use whatever resources are available to you, you are allowed to take up space in these communities. and i am so, so proud of you.

feel free to, and actually, i encourage you to reblog this with your experiences. we belong in this community as much as anyone else. please also tag this w/ any neurodivergent conditions i may have forgotten 💙

since this is getting lots of notes I'd like to add, even if you're undiagnosed or maybe self diagnosed, for whatever reason, (i.e. can't get access to a diagnosis, not being taken seriously, or just not wanting an official diagnosis, etc.) this still applies to you. actually especially to you folks. don't think for a second you're not valid just bc you don't have the paperwork or whatever to say it

So, like, I just really wanted to write this down and like others have talked about this but like... most of y'all prob know the whole saying of "autism is a superpower" and all that. And that's all well and good, and it aims to encourage people to see autistic traits and behaviors in a positive light, and notice what they can bring to the world.

But do people think about this?

Autistic people aren't superheroes. They're people. Humans. Humans who think and breathe and laugh and cry and feel.

Autistics are not these crazy, weird anomalies to dissect, to study. We are not an attraction to laugh and talk about. We're people.

People who have struggled and been misunderstood and isolated because this world was not built for us, because we do not have the tools necessary at our disposal. Because no matter how hard we try there will always be those people. Those situations. Ones we are not able to handle like others do.

And this isn't just autism! It also goes for other neurodivergent or people with mental health problems - and even problems with physical health! We do not fit in the category of "normal" that has been fabricated by society that puts people in groups and places some higher than the rest, so we become this weird, alien thing to look down on and study.

We are not aliens.

We are people, just like the rest of you.

being autistic as a kid without knowing it be like: *taps foot on the floor* *gets told to stop because the tapping is annoying* *stims in the school bathroom* *stims at home* *stims when reading whatever book you attached yourself to* *gets called a good reader* *attaches self to a group of people who don’t really wanna be your friends but they tolerate you* *gets placed with random people for group projects* *stims in the school bathroom* *gets called a picky eater at home* *gets put into the gifted program but is also really bad at some topics* *draws in class* *stims in class* *gets ignored* *stims in class* *stims in class* *stims in c

Does anyone else really like to wear headphones / noise cancellers? I’ve found that I always wear my headphones, even if they’re not plugged into anything or there’s nothing playing.

me: so being autistic effects every part of me...

allistic: ok

me: it even changes my perception of gender...

allistic: that makes sense

me: i identify as autigender because my experience of gender is intertwined with my autistic experience

allistic: AuTisM IsN’T A GENDer?!!!!

———————————————————————

autigender doesn’t necessarily mean autism is a gender, it is simply a term autistics can use to describe the way their gender and autism interact (hope that helps explain it!)

has anyone else noticed their sensory issues getting worse during quarantine? particularly my sensitivity to sound has worsened. I feel like I’ve had the ability to control my surroundings so much that going out in public now is a real struggle cause it’s just so loud and chaotic.

Am I ill?

Sometimes I start to wonder if I really am chronically ill. Do I really wake up every day with pain or am I just faking it all the time? I know other people actually have these issues and they are very much real, but to me, I don't know what is real for myself anymore. I try so hard to be normal, yet the pain comes back. It always will come back. I wake in the mornings with a killing pain surging through my jaw. I know that last night I must have been fighting monsters, swinging swords that allow me to defeat these dragons lingering in the mountains. Yet, today as I wake up the pain isn't from a dragon or those monsters I fought, it's from my trying to dislocate once more. The throbbing pain in my head isn't from being flung against the wall of a dragon's den, that pain is from my chronic migraines that linger in me causing it almost impossible to eat and hold my food down. That surging sensation that spirals in my belly, drifting up towards my heart and seeping through my veins isn't the poison of my enemy trying to defeat me at last, this is the anxiety that causes me to isolate myself until everything is fine again. The anxiety that holds me back from chasing these wild imaginations because I'm not okay. I don't think I ever will be okay, but am I really ill?

Overload...

One of the best things about college to me is just showing up early to get a good seat away from people and pick where I sit. I love being able to sit away from the flickering bright white lights that loom over the students, yet being able to sit away from windows and distractions that might interfere with my studies. With all these great things soon comes misery though...the seat I pick always ends up having someone trying to sit near me so I have to set my backpack on the chair next to me and sit in the corner if possible. I fear people might think I'm rude, but the noises of others clicking away on computers, talking to their neighbors, smells, and any small noises or motions they make just tend to bother my sensory issues. I have severe sensory issues due to my autism and sensory processing disorder so I go into a meltdown almost every time I show up to class. I love school and learning as it's my special interest and always has been. The ability for me to expand my knowledge in any way possible makes me happy and want to flap my hands around. I just wish people were more considerate and I didn't have to wear headphones just to exist in normal environments. School is great, yet extremely hard and I always miss classes sometimes. I tried online school, but it's hard for me to focus and stay attentive in class. I'd rather sleep through it instead which is a huge issue. I don't know, I just feel as if I need to let out some of my issues and get them off my chest in order to sit through this next class. Sorry if I come off as rude, I don't mean to. I just am struggling so much lately to just exist. I want to curl up in a ball and hide away from society until people acknowledge that those with disabilities can and will be in professional settings too so we need to make things to accommodate them.

God I really wish carrying stuffed animals around with you was socially acceptable

writing an autistic character when you are not autistic - a masterpost

completely double spaced version on google docs here – this post is more blocky for the sake of people’s dashboards, but still long so people will be less likely to glaze over it. my apologies if that makes it hard to read

things to look for and avoid in an autistic character

• symptoms only manifesting as “nonverbal and rocking” • super smart / living calculator • super dumb / doesn’t understand anything • all the symptoms you can come up with for them are “awkward” and “has special interest(s)” (please do more research) • trains, technology, and/or math as special interests • acting like a child • getting treated like a baby • unreasonably cruel and uncaring about others’ reactions to them being cruel • if they’re comparable to sheldon from the big bang theory, start over • animal comparisons • a lack of feelings • please no stories about what it’s like to be autistic told by allistics

the right way to write an autistic person

• lots of symptoms, including secondary ones not included on a general diagnosis requirement list (here’s a list i rather like that was made by an autistic person – their blog is also a good resource) • having a good amount of general knowledge and actually talking about it (i cannot believe that i have to say this) • talking about things outside of special interests (again…. come on……….) (special interests are usually the default things our brains go to when theres no stimulation or we want to entertain ourselves – it isn’t literally all we think or talk about ever. if a conversation has no connections to a special interest, reconsider having your autistic character bring it up in a context that is not an introduction.) • explicitly expressed to be capable of attraction and romantic feelings – if your character is an adult, add sexual feelings to this point • capable of general functioning, just with a disability that makes it more difficult – not a walking disability (….sigh) • a wide amount of feelings and emotional turmoil (but perhaps only being able to express it in limited ways) • we’re people • just people whose brains are wired differently

things to avoid in research for an autistic character

• autism moms / autism blogs and websites not run by autistic people • any affiliation with autism $peaks means you should walk away and never look back • a scientist trying to create explanations for what autistic people do without actually asking / not mentioning asking autistic people • anything about a cure for autism • a person that “worked with autistic kids” phrased in the same way as “worked with animals” • talking about autistic people as if they are mysteries, are like animals, or are otherwise othered weirdos instead of people

things to look for in research for an autistic character

• actual autistic people talking about their experiences and symptoms • just stick to that and you’re good but it’s hard to find sometimes ngl. just look for the above red flags

things i would personally like to see in an autistic character

• less easy to swallow sadness and more destructive anger. i would love to see a canonically autistic character who was frustrated easily by small things and had trouble communicating why • not a story about being autistic, a story that happens to have a character or characters who are autistic – it isn’t pointed out or questioned, they’re right at home with the rest of the cast and not othered (a la symmetra from overwatch) • intensive sensory issues / small sounds making large reactions • clear communications about not liking x sensory thing (for example being touched) • poor motor skills / clumsiness and not being laughed at for it • walking funny (body bent downwards, walking very fast, walking slowly, big strides, shuffling, stiffness, etc)  – no one treats it as if it’s funny or something totally strange • a big personality that has a presence so they can’t be cast aside (but feel free to have quiet characters too) – if this was along with being nonverbal they would probably leap to being one of my favorite characters ever • a fear of asking for clarification on sarcasm or jokes because of past experiences and an arc about the character becoming more comfortable asking questions

>> if any fellow autistic people want to add something, feel free <<

allistics are encouraged to rb this

"wow i never would have guessed you're autistic" thanks! i traumatized myself throughout my developmental years learning maladaptive masking skills that have harmed me body and soul