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Actually Mentally Ill - Blog Posts
why can anxiety cause psychical symptoms. why is it allowed to do that. i don't like that. no
Maybe all I needed was to walk around listening to fob, and smoking a joint. Then go to the park and shitpost on Tumblr from the swings.
TW
It's crazy how with a little bit of adhd and excelling grades you can convince everyone that Ur fine, even when Ur OD'ing.
Sometimes, I think that no one actually has a personality, and they r all just pretending. Then I remember I'm autistic. And also a theater performance major. I doubt these three things are connected.
How do u make friends in communities?
I know this is a heavily asked question & I know making friends takes time & effort but like- any tips even?
I've been on the internet for a while & only have made 1 friend ovr the whole time, I understand no one owes me friendship or anything, but it's hard not to feel lonely. I love my friend(/p) with all my heart. & I've tried so many ways 2 make new friends but my efforts never work :c Is there something I can b doing better? I want friends like me ig? (alterhumans, xenogender users, alternative ppl & j-fashion enjoyers ect ect) But like- how??? .·°՞(¯□¯)՞°·.
went to the doctors and found out I may or may not have a VIRUS!!! And god oh god knows how long I’ve had it, hopefully it’s one that’ll eat all my disgusting fat off!!!! DATTEBAYO!!! (I’m going insane)
My Platonic FP pays attention to me?? AND downloads my art I show them into their computer so it could forever be with them?
Guys, I'm so lucky o(*////▽////*)q!!!
(If they even dare to interact with others more then me i'll slit my throat open.)
Autism, the worst one (/silly) mlm, c-did, c-ptsd, gad, and insomnia
audience test
How many disorders do you match with me
NPD
ASPD
STPD
ADHD
AUTISM
SENSORY PROCESSING DISORDER
MAN LOVING MEN (the worst one)
C-DID
C-PTSD
DYSLEXIA
LIKES PICKLES
BIPOLAR / MANIC DEPRESSION
GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER
SELECTIVE MUTISM (fluctuates)
HYPER MOBILITY DISORDER
RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME
INSOMNIA
HCD (huge cock disorder. contagious so I have to be quarantined)
(all medically recognized. don't come @ me because I'm a fucked up guy) ((huge cock disorder is self diagnosed but you have to believe me))
this was actually a very vulnerable post to make but I want ableists to block me and we should not be ashamed to be disordered
PLEASE ELLEASR PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LLEASE LLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LLEASEE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
we do not see enough fics of this MANNN. my beloved writers get busy cuz i'm desperate
I’m about to throw hands with my mental self
My sister ♡♡♡♡♡ she is just like me♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎
My main character syndrome is so high that whenever I get into a problem I just go "this is how the plot is supposed to be, it will help in my character development"
sending a letter to my ex (??) who’s in jail
BRO CHAT wtf have I just made
I may be cooked bro tf😭🙏
Younger Black Heart Inertia.
The first meeting with the assistant backstage. “Is he that into you?”
Marshall (The popular actor/singer) and Brandon (The ‘Nerdy’ Assistant)
It was just an ordinary day at the studio, Marshall had been hanging out with Director Samuel’s assistant, Brandon for as long as he could remember. It was oddly strange for someone like the blond to be around an clumsy and always late to the moment assistant but no matter what the situation was, The dark brunet would always be there with him. But this day would be different.
Marshall just waited outside, leaning against the brick wall as he watched the brunet walking out from the back door and entering the alleyway. Adjusting his glasses and his headphone, the assistant gazed at the actor and softly sighed before walking up to him and standing next to him, leaning against the wall with a coffee in his hand, which made the actor notice him and smile at him. “Is that for me?” he teased.
“Ah, uhm,” The assistant blushed slightly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yes, but you may not like it--!”
Glancing at the cup, Marshall shrugged and took a sip before starting to almost drink the whole cup but stopped as he slowly turned to the stunned Brunet and chuckled. “Well, I never knew you taste sweet, B.”
Brandon jumped and blushed heavily, realizing that the cup read ‘Non dairy, soy, Extra foam. Brandon.’ Since he was running late to the production, he forgot to get him the right drink order. “Oh my god, oh no! I’m so sorry, Mr. Marsh! I-I, ughh, Forgot to get it right!”
“No..? I said that you taste sweet, B.”
“Uhm, what does that mean?”
“You want me to show you?”
The assistant nodded before trying to reach for the cup before feeling Marshall pinning him against the wall and pulling him closer by his back and began kissing him passionately, squeezing his waist as he felt their bodies heating up. The dark brunet moved his hand up to his hair, slipping and tangling his fingers. While his other hand dropped the coffee and slid to the sides of the brunet’s neck as he pressed his leg against his thighs, hearing the assistance slipping soft noises from his mouth before pulling away briefly and staring at him. “Would you like me to stop here, I mean we’re on a tight schedule after all, B.”
The brunet gently tugged on the actor’s shirt collar, he shook his head as he was out of breath. “Just the opposite, please..” he breathed, feeling the actor biting his lip before stopping and pulling back and smiling at him.
“BRANDON!” The headphone speaker spoke, The assistant jumped as he knew it was from the director, Samuel Michealson. “Do you have those reports done like I had hoped for you to get done in an hour or so?”
The brunet swallowed his saliva as he tried to answer him but felt Marshall comfort growing more passionately, staring him in the eyes as he leaned in grabbing his shoulder. “A-Ah! Of course I did, sir, I’d never ignore an assignment-!”
Marshall cut him off again as he started to kiss him again, slowly moving his headphone off of him before finding the button to hang up on the director. “Sorry, Sam, but your assistant is pretty busy now,” the dark brunet glanced up at him. “Mind leaving a message?”
THIS. THIS. THIS. I want to plaster this on my face.
but being numb/feeling empty is a whole another level of worse.
sometimes the emotions get so intense that i'd rather be numb.
These lesbians have taken over my life.
I've been through a sort of "bUrn out" for the past 2 months or so and gain3d back 3-4kgs, feel free to bulLÿ me into loosing them ☀️
Me After School ( I Wana 🎀 myself🤭🫶
I am nothing if not envious.
silly brain flag!
silly brain is a term to be used for all neurodivergent and/or mentally ill people who think their brain is silly! this term is pro-madpunk/mad pride and doesn't exclude any illness/nd flavor from it.
hot pink - sillyness is smile!! full of fun! dandellion yellow - default emoji color, and emojis are silly! washed-out cyan - the brain is full of sparkles and dreams! green - sillyness is part of nature! purple - just like royalty, silly brain rulez!
(Help I sent the original post to the drafts and now I can't find it). Sooooo... I may have fallen into the Forsaken rabbit hole and now I want to rant on my main blog about my OCs. Also, I should probably mention that my OCs are not finished yet, but that's okay! I'll find them some day! And, well, I am reposting these because I originally posted them to communities, but I want to spend the disease of these little guys everywhere. (Also, post 1 was posted to 2 communities while post 2 was only posted to one). Also, this is going to be a very long one, so prepare for no one to read this!
Post 1: Here is some concept art of my OCs! (I know that OCs aren't very commonly found in this group, but I'm going to share these two idiots because I need to spread them to other people.) This is technically a wip, but I'm still going to share it. Also, I do need some help with in-game stuff because I'm stumped. I am going to an info dump because this doesn't really have any info.
The one with a wolf headband and braids is Coco, and they are a survivor. They use they/them pronouns, but they have memory loss, so the other survivors use he/they pronouns for them (which is funny because they have never been a boy). I think they could attack the killer with their axe, but idk what else I want to do. I think I want them to have 3 abilities, but I have no ideas for other 2.
The other OC is Azazel and they are a killer. They use they/them pronouns, but since they also have memory loss, the killers use she/her pronouns. It isn't in the art, but I gave them a weird red spawn looking halo that is coming out of their crooked neck. I imagine they could rip it out to attack a survivor, but maybe they could get bleeding 1 for 3 seconds. And idk for the rest of their abilities, so I need help.
Also, I'm thinking of creating another oc that is a helper. All I have is that they are a girl and she would have probably worked at a bakery before Forsaken but that's all I have so far. And if you have read this far, thank you for listening to my very long info dump!
Post 2: Since it seemed like people liked the last post I made about these silly little guys, I decided to do some more! And I figured out some in-game ideas I have for them!
So, I mentioned an idea for a healer OC, and I made her! As you can see, her name is Drina, and what I have for her so far is that she can give people pies, but how she does it is that you have to click the ability twice on a person because once you set the pie down, it cannot be removed and can only be eaten by the person you clicked on (yes you can click on killers, that's why you have to do it twice so you don't misclick on a killer). I haven't really come up with any lore for her yet, so any ideas would be appreciated! I do think that she would get along pretty well with Elliot, and while not really trusting Coco, would still try and be kind to them. Also, I just want to say that I based her off of Kyoko from Block Tales and I love that about her!
And lastly, Coco! I haven't really thought of anything for them, but I have thought of an idea for 1 of the 2 abilities I want to give them. I'm thinking of a block/parry idea that works very similarly to Guest's block (edit: I forgot to add that I imagine that they would block/parry using their axe). And I love showing how messed up they are in the head! I feel like both of them and 007n7 would relate to each other a lot, because 007n7 isn't trusted by the rest due to him being a former hacker and dad of c00lkid, and Coco isn't really trusted by the rest because they look and kind of act like a killer, so people don't try and get to know the two of them very well; but that doesn't mean that 007n7 isn't also kind of weary of Coco.
Also, some fun facts I feel like I should add. 1: Both Drina and Coco are dark skinned, but because of me drawing in black and white, I keep their skin white in my drawing. 2: I do not intend to do any OC x Canon, specifically because of the fact that 1: both Coco and Azazel are 16, even though they both don't remember that and 2: both Coco and Azazel are aromantic/asexual (Azazel is kind of iffy on that, but I don't really want to get into that rn); and while Drina is an adult and either straight or bisexual, I haven't decided yet, I still don't want to ship her or any of my other OCs with the canon characters. Sorry for rambling again, I just wanted to get this all out while I still have motivation.
(Also, trying out tags for the first time, let's see what happens!)
PSA anger is a symptom of anxiety that I feel like isn't talked about enough, angry anxiety leads to one of the worst experiences known to man, angry crying. It feels humiliating, I'm supposed to be a functional adult but I still cry when I get angry, what if people think I'm trying to manipulate them during an argument? What if they think I'm having a tantrum like a toddler? What if they think I'm just a cry baby? Why can't I simply get over stuff? I know that these symptoms are normal but I don't feel normal.
forgot to make my meds today wish me luck lol
dming you after cutting myself like a cat running up to you after abusing its scratchbox
