Tears - Blog Posts

Tokyo Ghoul

im alive! surprise!!!

anyways, this trend but with shoji :3

young shoji and reader hcs from when they were raised in the village? i can almost imagine a bambi and faline scenario 🥺

(OMG yes, you mean the scene with them in the reeds right? Always loved that sequence, so cute! (Unfortunately, this quickly devolved past HCs...))

Fireflies

When Shoji meets his only childhood friend again after a decade apart, the reunion brings a flood of memories with it.

(ANGST/comfort, feat. fluff; tw: blood, heavy angst, Shoji's childhood in general))

~~~

Few would consider themselves fortunate to find themselves next to a collapsing building. Villain attacks like this were becoming fewer and farther between. Random outbursts and pale League imitators, like the aftershocks of the great earthquake that had been All For One.

Tentacole was just about to finish up his patrol when it happened. Lucky he was there, he thought, as he and a handful of other nearby heroes went in without hesitation. It seemed Grand was dealing with the culprit, his vibration quirk perfectly suited to cancelling out the villain's ability to generate localized tremors.

For the best, Shoji thought, pouring all of his energy to removing civilians from the wreck, and administering first aid until paramedics made it on scene. His quirk was brilliant for this sort of work, easily detecting those who needed help and communicating with other heroes, while also being able to lift immense weight to free those trapped beneath the rubble. No wonder he was slated to become one of the youngest heroes to break the top ten.

Carefully moving aside rebar and chunks of concrete, he pulled another from the crumbling carcass of the building. The young woman looked to be near his age, silent and trembling from the shock. Of greater concern was a head injury. Small, but, could never be too careful with these things. He spoke gently in hope of easing her shredded nerves.

"Hey there, you're safe now." Shoji saw her eyes go impossibly wide when she looked at him, heard a startled gasp, but focused on the cut just above her right eyebrow. "I'm going to help you, okay? You're bleeding, but it doesn't look serious."

She neither answered nor pulled away, continuing to stare like a deer in the headlights as the hero pulled a sterile gauze pad from his med kit.

"How do you feel? Can you speak?" As one hand lightly held the pad against the cut, another gently lifted her brows to check pupil dilation. It was then, staring into her eyes, that the sense of familiarity began to set in.

The look was familiar enough. Fear, to be expected from someone who had nearly been crushed by a building. He noticed the personal element too, possibly from being alarmed by his appearance. Again, familiar. It wasn't until he recognized the look of guilt that he realized it.

By what twist of fate could it possibly be you? It couldn't, he tried to tell himself at first. But the longer he stared, the more his hope became undeniable truth.

"...is that really you, ___?"

~~~

He first met you in late spring, shortly before the rainy season hit Fukuoka.

Knowing today could be one of the last pleasant days before the summer rains made the river swollen and violent, Shoji went there to catch catfish. He had no gear for proper fishing. Rather, he would lay on the bank, hanging an arm in the water close to shore, and simply wait for a fish to mistake his fingers for prey.

At the first nibble, he would move suddenly, usually successful in grabbing the slippery creature without cutting himself on the sharp fins. He was proud to return home with a catch. A bucketful of tasty fish was one of the few things that earned him praise for using his quirk.

Sometimes he caught nothing, but even those days were pleasant enough. He could spend all afternoon like that, rotating which arm he used as they went numb from the cool water. Peaceful (boring). Unbothered (lonely).

This proved to be a rare day. When Mezo felt the first nibbling sensation, he lunged two more hands in to help grab, all for nought. The fish slipped away, breaking the surface, splashing dramatically before making its final exit.

Shoji huffed, wiping some water out of his face, absentmindedly watching as his reflection danced on the disturbed water in a distorted blob. As he peered into the water, a second blob began to take form. And as the water settled, it became a face.

"Hi there!"

Mezo jumped, turning over to stare wide eyed at the newcomer. A child, probably close to his own age, who he had never seen before. Not that he knew the other village children very well, but, he was quite certain he would recognize them if they were standing half a meter away.

Your expression was an unfamilar one. An eager smile which barely faltered as you crouched closer, earnestly repeating,"I said 'hello'!"

"...h'lo," he mumbled, hardly audible against the brook babbling in the background. Still, it proved to be more than enough encouragement for this stranger.

"What's your name? I'm-"

~~~

"You don't have to hang around, Mezo." You readjusted the ice pack against your forehead. "Orrr am I supposed to call you 'Tentacole' while you're in uniform?"

He was still in costume. There was no time to change; he hadn't left your side the whole way to the hospital. Besides, it was a good excuse to keep his mask on. No need to compound your guilt.

"No, you can just call me by my name-" I missed how it sounds in your voice- "And it's fine, really, that was my final patrol," he excused. It was true that he had nowhere to be anyway. And honestly, he may have dropped any prior commitments anyway, if it meant holding on to your presence a little longer.

~~~

"-so yeah, that's why I'm living with my aunt and uncle here for a while."

Shoji watched over his shoulder curiously as you followed him like a baby duck, holding a too-big umbrella aloft in a failing effort to shield both of you from the persistent drizzle that had fallen on the town. You kept finding him, talking to him like it was normal. You didn't seem to understand that you really weren't supposed to talk to him.

"You don't talk much. Are you shy?"

"No, just, not used to people talking to me I guess," he mumbled, hardly convincing you that he wasn't shy.

"Oh? Me neither. The other kids around here are jerks! I don't think they like out of town folks. Plus I'm quirkless."

"...yeah, they have a problem with anybody different."

"Whatever, it's boring being the same! Way cooler to be a lone wolf. We should be lone wolves together Mezo-kun!" He flinched when you excitedly patted his back. But there was no pain. And your tone immediately shifted to concern. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Do you have sunburn or something?"

"No, you just-" shouldn't touch me, we'll both get in trouble, "-startled me."

"Hehe sorry, didn't mean to scare you! I'm sneaky when I wanna be! Oh my gosh this one time, I-"

A little smile finally tugged at the corners of his lips. He decided he liked that you were so chatty.

~~~

You were so, so quiet. Maybe he'd made a mistake, accidentally pressured you into this. Although you sat just across from him in the booth, you looked far away as you prodded at your meal.

"So, uh, are you seeing anyone?" He could have kicked himself for that.

"Nah."

Before he could think better of it, the words tumbled out. "Why not?"

You smiled a twisted, bitter smile. "Dunno. Probably has to do with getting nervous about physical affection, yanno?" You laughed with no humor, only nerves. God you were so different.

~~~

The rainy season came and went, leaving the earth and air damp, and the river all abuzz with new life. Shoji stood, staring out over the vibrant green of the growing reeds, waving with the wind. Accustomed to being alone, he found comfort in this peaceful observation of nature.

Distracted by the hovering dance of several dragonflies, he didn't notice as his recent acquaintance approached. Until-

"HI MEZO!"

Startled by the sudden greeting, Mezo turned too fast, slipping down the slight embankment and disappearing into the tall reeds. There was a splash as he landed hard on his rear end, and he grimaced at the soggy sensation seeping into his ratty clothes.

As he tried to find his bearings, the first haunting giggle sounded somewhere to his left. He looked that way, but before he could stand, the sound returned on the right, and he lost his footing again.

So it went for a while, his head whipping around, trying to follow the giggles, not knowing whether the rustling of the reeds came from you or some animal or the wind. Once he thought he had you, turning to look back, only to feel a cheeky little kiss on the side of his face.

Narrowing his eyes, Shoji took a deep breath, focused all of his senses, and waited. The next time you poked your head out, you found yourself face to face with a single huge eye, courtesy of his quirk. You gasped.

"Got you!" Mezo roared as he finally found his feet, launching after you. It was easier to follow you now, the constant shrieks of delight as you raced through the tall grasses. He tore after you, grinning madly as the unfamiliar sound of his own laughter rang out.

~~~

You were more relaxed at his apartment. Without the public eye potentially glaring at your rekindling friendship, it seemed you could finally breathe, as the two of you sat side by side on his sofa.

"I'm honestly surprised you turned out so altruistic," you mused. "I mean, you were always kind, I just...I was afraid that-"

"That the world would make me mean?"

"I don't mean that as a dig against you."

"Hey, it's okay. That happens to a lot of people." Memories of the fight outside the hospital flooded his mind, until Shoji shook his head. "But saving people, making use of my gifts, makes me feel grateful for this form."

"I always was pretty jealous of your quirk." Your smile was softer now, as you fidgeted with a loose thread in your shirt.

It almost made him regret wanting to tell you why he chose to become a hero. But, it was something you should know. You of all people. "...Do you remember the river, near the village?"

~~~

The trees provided a natural barrier between the river and the village. A veil to hide the two of you, letting you play freely. Two pairs of sandals sat on the riverbank, baking in the summer sun while their owners waded in the stream.

Hardly a day went by that the two of you didn't meet here, making a game of catch and releasing the local wildlife. You had started the sport, as usual, recruiting Shoji to help you capture some frogs. Soon salamanders and crayfish were added to the lineup, and a points system invented. One for frogs, three for crayfish, five for the elusive salamanders and newts.

That is, until the day Mezo wrangled a giant salamander the size of his torso, sparking a fierce debate on whether that constituted five points or fifty. All the while, the slippery beast wriggled and fought against the six armed prison it had found itself in.

After that, the game lost its competitive element, returning to the pure, peaceful practice of simply admiring the creatures before returning them to nature.

It was why, when the other children captured fireflies to stick in paper lanterns on clear summer nights, the two of you simply caught them in your hands, giggling at the ticklish feeling of six tiny feet creeping along a finger before taking off again. It wouldn't be fair to interrupt their lives like that. They'd just die in the lanterns, and too soon.

It was better, you mutually decided, to simply admire their glow. To catch a handful, releasing them into the sky or, if you were feeling playful, onto one another's hair. Shoji was especially good at this, filling six hands with insects, then opening his palms so they could burst free all at once like a solar flare.

~~~

"I'm so sorry."

He knew you would say that. "It's alright, it's not like it was your fault."

"It is my fault, though," you insisted, voice cracking. "I tried to tell someone what happened after I got away from there, anyone. Family. People at school. Most of them acted like I was embellishing a story. Or they did believe, and still brushed it off like oh how terrible, well that's just how it is in some places."

"That was out of your control, though."

"Yeah but what happened before that wasn't!" Your hands dragged down your face, leaving an angry flush. "It was, looking back, ugh, I was just so stupid and careless and naive-"

"We were supposed to be naive! We were ten! We were supposed to play and be stupid and not worry about those things." Mezo's gaze fell. "It's something we were supposed to outgrow slowly, not have it taken away all of a sudden. Not like that."

~~~

"Omochio Tsukimasho Omochio Tsukimasho

Petanko, Petanko, Petan Petan Petanko

Konete Konete Konete Konete Konete

Ton Ton Ton Ton Ton Ton..."

No one had played the clapping game with him before. It was almost a shame that none of the other kids from the village would join the two of you. It might have been fun, he thought, to try to play against two or more partners.

You at least made a valiant effort to keep up with all six of his hands. It started with just two, of course, until he added another pair. Just as a joke, at first, but then you played along. And now you were both giggling, mimicking the motions of mochi making and trying not to smack each other's arms too much.

"How do you keep track of so many hands?!" You tried to sound exasperated, but couldn't stop laughing as you were tripped up by the extra limbs once again.

Mezo couldn't hold in his laughter either. "How can you not keep track of only two?" he jabbed, prompting a gasp from you.

"Gah! You're so mean to me!" you cackled, giving up on the game entirely in favor of grabbing for his many hands. The scuffle was rather one-sided, with the much taller boy ruffling your hair and poking your sides and easily keeping his hands well out of reach.

Finally, you managed to jump up and get hold of one of the duplicate hands. He didn't resist, still chuckling as you laced your fingers with his, beaming up at him with a triumphant smile. "Got you!"

"Mm-hm." No one had ever held his hand, either, much less one made with his quirk. His gross, monstrous quirk. But you didn't think so. Even when you finally let your tired arm fall, your hand remained clasped with his.

There, as he held your hand, Mezo's young heart was alight with affection. You two could grow up together and he would be your dearest friend, until he was your boyfriend, until he was your husband, until you both passed on. He'd be your friend in the next life too, he thought, let's be fireflies and find one another's light and spend that life together too.

Anywhere else, it might have happened like that.

Anywhere else, you might have been childhood sweethearts. The adults would have found your puppy love adorable. Old ladies would pinch your cheeks and joke about living to see the wedding. The other kids would wail about you sharing cooties. Your families would tease you about your little friend, but be welcoming and happy for you both.

Anywhere else, it may have been different. But they were here. And a sudden sharp voice shattered that pristine fantasy

"Hey! What do you think you're doing to her, monster?"

~~~

Of all the things Midoriya had asked about his quirk, Shoji was grateful that his inquisitive friend never questioned how he was so certain that his severed limbs would grow back.

It wasn't a memory so much, at least, not a coherent one. He knew there was a wood chopping block, but he couldn't remember how his hand looked on it, held fast by a much bigger hand around his wrist. Nor the pain of the severing. It was like his brain censored the worst bits, trying to protect him like no one else would.

He remembered how light he felt. How loud his blood, pounding in his ears. Even louder were your panicked, shrieking protests. Your face, your eyes, so wide, crying, tears and snot and drool. He saw your teeth dig into the arm of your aunt when she tried restraining you.

He heard later that that's why you were sent away, for biting your guardian. You weren't the one to tell him. In the time between the incident and your leaving, you didn't speak to him at all. You didn't even look at him.

~~~

"I don't blame you for any of that, but, I'm not not upset," he tried to explain, pinching the center of his brow. "I wish...I wish you'd talked to me after. Or kept in touch somehow! You could have messaged me, we could have stayed friends!"

"You still...wanted to be friends?" Your voice was crumbling with caution as you stared at him in stark disbelief.

As if it could hold you together, Shoji took your hands in his. "Yes! I still want us to be friends now! Or, something, whatever you want to be!" Another hand cupped your cheek. "I've missed you."

You were staring at your joined hands, and he could feel them trembling. "-even after what I did?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," he insisted in a soft but stern tone, brushing away a stray tear with his thumb. "You were my friend, that's what I remember best. What they did to me, to us, wasn't our fault."

"What do you mean to 'us'? You're the one who got hurt, I just watched, I didn't-" a high gasp escaped you as Mezo pulled you into his secure embrace.

"It's so much harder to explain scars when they're inside," he murmured, his voice soft against your skin.

"...All I wanted, was to keep being close. But I thought that would be selfish, to put you at risk like that. Even now, just this, it feels like we're doing something wrong, and if someone saw, it could happen all over again."

"Shhh, it can't, it won't," Mezo promised.

You were still, malleable as he moved to lay on his side with you still cocooned in his arms, your back pressed flush to his chest. The tears flowed freely now, as you shivered and clutched at his forearms tight enough to leave marks.

"Nothing's going to hurt me. Nothing's going to hurt you. We're safe. We're together." He could feel your breath even out as he murmured that mantra against your ear.

"O-okay. Okay." Your grip loosened, but you didn't let go. Instead your fingers unfurled and swirled and fidgeted, gently stroking his sun kissed skin in a way that made him relax, too.

"Can you say it back? I...I need to hear it, too," Shoji added truthfully. You nodded.

"We're safe. No one's going to punish either of us for this. That's gone. You're here now. I'm here." Your arms curled up around his. "...I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," he sighed, burying his face into the back of your neck.

You kissed the palm of his hand, the same one you'd seen taken all those years ago. By the time you went to kiss it again, the hand had morphed into a pair of lips.

~

(I'm so sorry I was going to just do fluffy HCs but then I was possessed by Satan and it turned into a series of drabbles about childhood trauma please forgive)

Yeah, that will happen. Chris is also all alone now.. I can't even imagine his pain.. :(

So let's recap shall we:

Lydia is going to blame herself for Allison’s death

Stiles is going to blame himself for Allison’s death

Scott is going to blame himself for Allison’s death

Isaac is going to blame himself for Allison’s death

Chris is going to blame himself for Allison’s death

fUCK

I am sorry Hillbilly- 😭

He has been through too much... i want to hug em 😥

don't cry, angel

The cry of anguish I let out at the end of episode ten was from the HEART 😭😭

gosh but like we spent hundreds of years looking up at the stars and wondering “is there anybody out there” and hoping and guessing and imagining

because we as a species were so lonely and we wanted friends so bad, we wanted to meet other species and we wanted to talk to them and we wanted to learn from them and to stop being the only people in the universe

and we started realizing that things were maybe not going so good for us— we got scared that we were going to blow each other up, we got scared that we were going to break our planet permanently, we got scared that in a hundred years we were all going to be dead and gone and even if there were other people out there, we’d never get to meet them

and then

we built robots?

and we gave them names and we gave them brains made out of silicon and we pretended they were people and we told them hey you wanna go exploring, and of course they did, because we had made them in our own image

and maybe in a hundred years we won’t be around any more, maybe yeah the planet will be a mess and we’ll all be dead, and if other people come from the stars we won’t be around to meet them and say hi! how are you! we’re people, too! you’re not alone any more!, maybe we’ll be gone

but we built robots, who have beat-up hulls and metal brains, and who have names; and if the other people come and say, who were these people? what were they like?

the robots can say, when they made us, they called us discovery; they called us curiosity; they called us explorer; they called us spirit. they must have thought that was important.

and they told us to tell you hello.

our pastor said that “Isaac and Jesus are alike in so many ways— both their fathers wanted to sacrifice them” like okay. im going to cry in the middle of church service now.

IceMav wedding day with their exchanged feathers in pride of place ♥

A couple of days ago I answered this ask: clickety and added a bit of worldbuilding vvv

Although also consider: voluntarily grounding or at least 'inconveniencing' themselves to show how important the other person is ♡ ('You. Voluntarily flying less. Hm.' Ice didn't have to sound THAT skeptical, geez. 'Counter argument; I finally get to show off your hardware in my wings, I want to do it all the way.' More softly, 'Come on, Ice. You have to know I'd choose you, right?' No answer forthcoming as Iceman sort of melts and just folds Mav up in a borderline clingy hug)

and I am now invested.

Picture Mav, strutting around flashing the physical symbol of his and Ice's bond to anyone who even glances at him. And now picture him relentlessly throwing himself into the sky, taking tumbles and almost breaking his neck multiple times before he figures out how to compensate for the disruption in his flight feathers. Picture him trotting Ice out to watch him. Ice watching the love of his life proudly wearing his feathers, adapting his entire way of flying to be able to carry Ice with him when he takes to the skies (And Ice is so proud, and besotted, and also relieved because he never wants to be responsible for taking the sky from Maverick, even if it's temporarily and voluntarily chosen)

Can I collect my tears and put them in an IV bag.

Cuz it is saline.

This came to mind and I wanted to get it drawn before it disappeared.

Tiny darkness learns how to walk

baby animals blog

(Source)

Someone save this cat, I almost cried

Hey guys, my friend’s emotional support animal has gone missing and she is beside herself. She’s supposed to be joining her husband, who is doing a year-long post-doc in France soon, and she is desperate to find her cat before she leaves. 

If you live anywhere near Vista, California, I would appreciate it if you could boost this to help find Genevieve. 

It is what it is...

I will love you so hard. Achilles will weep.

Power Outage #104 The Moon 

Extras Below!:

Inktober 2023 #19 Silver

Extras Below:

BNHA: This Time Around

[A Semi-CloudNight Oneshot]

“Aaahhh! It feels so good to unwind like this,” Fukukado Emi, best known as the Laughing Hero: Ms. Joke, laughs in relief as she leans forward against the bar countertop, a mug of whiskey in hand. She’s dressed in her civilian outfit, which consists of high waist blue skinny jeans and a light yellow crop top tee shirt with a bold white stripe stretching across her chest. Her mint green hair is held back in a low ponytail, and black slip-on sneakers adorn her feet; her outfit accented by  a black choker around her neck and three beaded bracelets coating her right wrist. 

Joining her at their favorite bar is Tatsuma Ryuko (Ryukyu), Takeyama Yuu (Mt. Lady), and Kayama Nemuri (Midnight). Nemuri’s rosy red lips tilt upwards into a sly smile, and she raises her glass of red wine to her lips. Unlike Fukukado, Nemuri is dressed to impress, with her beautiful dark blue dress fading to a vibrant pink as it travels down towards the helm of her dress, perfectly matching her light complexion. Black three inch heels adorn her feet, and her deep indigo hair is held over her head in a messy bun, staked into place by a black pin that distinctly resembles a fox tail. 

Nemuri pushes up her crimson red glasses, still smiling. “Me too,” she agrees happily. “My agency has been so busy lately with all the League of Villain madness. It feels great to just be in the moment every now and again.”

Sitting on Fukukado’s other side, directly across from Nemuri, Takeyama stares down at her small glass of champagne, her eyebrows knitted together in exhaustion. The Giant Hero, like Ms. Joke, is dressed in casual clothing, wearing short blue jean shorts with a simple orange tank top and a single star-shaped golden necklace around her neck. Her long, wavy blond hair is tied back in a ponytail, which spirals down to her midback in beautiful platinum waves. 

“I knew starting my own agency was going to be hard, but I didn’t think it would be this hard,” Takeyama confesses, exhaustion lacing her tone. “Like, I can’t effectively take down any villains because my size destroys so much property, and I hate that my fans only seem to like me because they want me to step on them! It’s so weird! People are weird and gross!” She drops her head onto the table and groans mutely into the polished wood. “And here I thought the big city would be different from home.”

Tatsuma places a gentle hand on Takeyama’s back and pats it reassuringly. Like Nemuri, Tatsuma is dressed for the occasion in a simple yet elegant violet dress with a chain of pearls around her neck and diamond earrings in her ear. It is no surprise Ryukyu would wear such beautiful jewelry, though given her status as a dragon, Nemuri wasn’t surprised.  “Don’t worry, Takeyama. We all start off rough, but guaranteed your agency will become amazing,” the Dragon Hero encourages the blond heroine gently, and Takeyama’s shoulders only slightly relax.

Fukukado taps her chin, her dark green eyes thoughtful. “Come to think of it, aren’t you and Kamui Woods, like, a thing now? I heard his agency is successful, maybe you can talk to him about it,” she says, and Takeyama reaches across the table with frantic shushing gestures.

“Don’t say that outloud! We want to keep our relationship private! The last thing we need is the media crawling up our asses about it,” she snarls at the Laughing Hero, and Fukukado raises her hands in surrender.

“Oops! My bad!” Fukukado yelps and frantically checks around her in case anyone was listening in. Nemuri and Tatsuma make eye contact from across the table and snicker to themselves.

“Kamui Woods is a very dependable man, though,” Tatsuma adds. “I’m proud of you.”

Takeyama buries her face in her hands. “Can’t we talk about anything else?” she whines.

Fukukado’s smile returns full force, and a shit-eating grin splits across her face. “But why though? Everyone loves hearing about a good romance!” She cups her hands to her cheeks and swoons giddily. “Like, just the other day, I ran into Eraserhead at a coffee shop! It was so amazing, like something out of a romance novel!” 

Nemuri’s cerulean eyes widen slightly. “Oh yeah, he told me about that. Didn’t he leave the second he saw you?” she asks.

Fukukado’s cheeks flush red, and she chuckles awkwardly. “Oh, yeah, he did. Something about not wanting to deal with my energy or whatever. But that just makes it so much more exciting! I mean, look at him, all dark and mysterious and broody~!”

“Not to mention a total hobo who forgets to shower half the time,” Nemuri adds. The other heroines at the table chuckle.

“AND he’s the only one who I haven’t gotten to laugh yet!” Fukukado goes on, ignoring Nemuri’s remark. “One of these days, I’ll get him to laugh! If not, at least smile! Yeah, that would be amazing.”

“Why not use your Quirk?” Tatsuma asks.

Fukukado shakes her head adamantly. “He erases Quirks, remember? Besides, I don’t just wanna make him laugh! I want to really make him laugh, you know? Something authentic. Using my Quirk would just be dishonest and mean.”

Nemuri shrugs her shoulders, though a part of her is secretly relieved. She’s known Eraserhead since high school, and knowing him, the main reason he wouldn’t want to try dating Fukukado would be because he doesn’t want to be influenced by her Quirk. Then again, this is Eraserhead they’re talking about. After what happened in high school, he probably wouldn’t give her a chance either way. He has trouble enough making friends, let alone dating. The cruel reality of hero work scarred him, and the mere thought of it hurts her heart. Fear guides him, and Nemuri desperately wishes she could do something to help.

“What about you, Midnight?” Nemuri perks up, and finds the eyes of the other heroines glued on her. Fukukado leans forward eagerly, her dark green eyes sparkling like diamonds. “Do you have anyone you’re with right now? With your gorgeous looks and bedazzling personality, I’ll bet yes!”

Tatsuma casts Fukukado a significant look. “Ms. Joke, your bi is showing,” she comments, startling a laugh out of Takeyama.

Nemuri glances down at her wine glass and slowly sways it around in her grasp, watching the dark red liquid roll within its transparent chamber. Her smile becomes wistful. “I’ve had flings, but serious relationships? Nope. I haven’t had any in years. Probably not since high school,” she replies honestly.

Takeyama lifts her head, blinking at the R-Rated Hero in surprise. “What? There’s no way. Your entire aesthetic is about intimacy! Especially the sexy kind,” she gapes, and Nemuri chuckles at her reaction.

“It’s true. I haven’t had a proper boyfriend since my third year in high school, and to be honest…” Nemuri’s smile becomes bitter, and she chuckles in spite of her hypocrisy. “I don’t think I’ll ever date again. Hurts too much.”

Fukukado grimaces slightly. “Oof, was he really that bad?” she asks, and Nemuri immediately shakes her head.

“No, no. In fact, he was amazing. He was the sweetest, funniest, most loyal person I’d ever met. He cared about everyone unconditionally, and he would always go out of his way to help people. Hell, this one time, he found a kitten stuck in the rain and brought it with him to school,” she reminisces, smiling at the memory of him. Even now she can clearly see his broad, glowing smile, and the image sparks an old pain in her heart. “He was my everything. Even though we wanted different things out of life– with him wanting to start an agency with his other friends, and me wanting to start the Midnight Agency– we still promised we’d be together. That we’d make it work.”

Fukukado’s brows are drawing together in concern, now, and acid rises in Nemuri’s chest at the realization in her eyes. “Wait, you’re talking about him in the past tense,” she says. “What… happened?”

Nemuri’s smile falls completely, and she utters a deep sigh. “The worst,” she responds. “About fifteen years ago, we were alerted to a villain attack in Tasomiya Ward, a giant monster with the ability to stockpile power.” Tatsuma and Fukukado’s eyes widen nearly simultaneously, no doubt recognizing the event, but Takeyama blinks at Nemuri in confusion; she’s too new to the career to know. 

Her voice shudders, but still, Nemuri goes on, “All of us were there. Me, Eraserhead, Present Mic, and… him. We did everything in our power to stop the monster, but it was too big. We couldn’t do anything. I was evacuating everyone out of the area while he, Present Mic, and Eraserhead went to go stop the villain. Civilians got hurt; there’s no way to protect everyone. But he…”

The image washes over her, stealing away all her breath in an instant. She can smell the salty rain clouds, she can feel the slick pavement beneath her boots, the uncomfortable way debris clings to her sweaty skin. Above all else, she remembers rounding the corner just in time to see a cloud explode to life over a class of kindergarteners and their teacher, leaving them protected but him exposed. Their eyes made contact, and before Nemuri could do anything, before she could call out his name or take a step forward, a giant chunk of debris was upon him, and she was helpless to watch it swallow him whole.

The scene barely lasted for more than a few seconds, but she can still see it. The sickening crunch resonating through the air as his skull cracks open, the violent spray of blood from his head… She suddenly wants to throw up her wine and crumble into a ball. Old insecurities she thought she’d abandoned were suddenly creeping up the back of her mind, whispering terribly in her ears.

“Your quirk is useless. It couldn’t protect anyone, especially not your loved ones.”

“It’s because you’re so useless he’s dead.”

“Why are you even a hero?”

“Midnight?”

Nemuri snaps out of the memory and finds the other heroines looking at her in worry. She quickly realizes she’d dropped her wine glass to cover her face, and while thankfully the glass didn’t break, the wine was splattered all over the table top. It looks exactly like his blood.

“Midnight,” Tatsuma reaches out to her and gently takes her hands, leading them away from her face and gripping them tightly. Nemuri clings onto the contact, desperately wishing her hands were someone else’s. “Are you okay? Do you need a moment?”

Nemuri shakes her head slowly and slips her hands out of Tatsuma’s reach. She hates it when people look at her with those worried eyes. “It affected all of us,” Nemuri goes on. “Obviously, it hurt me. I lost my boyfriend and the guy I wanted to… but Present Mic and Eraserhead lost their best friend. Their brother.”

Fukukado shakes her head, tears springing to her eyes. “Oh, Midnight, I’m… I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to open an old wound,” she whispers in horror, and Nemuri shakes her head again, this time with more resolve.

“It’s fine, really. It gave me a horrible wake up call, that above all else, we are heroes. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Every day we go out there and put our lives on the line. We could live, we could die, but what matters most is protecting others.” She glances down at the wine spilled all over the table, and her own reflection stares back at her with wary acceptance. She sighs, long and tired. “Watching him die made me realize how easily life can be lost, how tragedy can strike in an instant. That’s why I want to embrace my youth for as long as I can, so I can live enough for both of us.” Her reflection’s lips quirk upward into a trying smile. “That way, when I die, when I can finally see him again, I can tell him about all my adventures with pride.”

Nemuri looks up and finds herself staring into the wet faces of the other heroes. Tatsuma, Fukukado, and Takeyama are all staring at their senior hero with wide, tearful eyes, and Nemuri likes to think in this moment, they felt more respect for the seasoned heroine.

Nemuri smiles back at them and wipes the tears from her eyes. “Remember that, you three,” she tells them. “Go forward knowing nothing– not even love– is certain, but don’t let it scare you. The world is scary, dangerous, and even cruel, but what’s most important is cherishing the people in our lives.” She raises her wine glass and what remains of the wine sloshes around in its glassy imprisonment. “To living.”

Fukukado, Tatsuma, and Takeyama look between themselves. One by one, they lift their drinks to the sky, each glass a different shape containing a different drink. “To living,” they echo, and tap their glasses together with Nemuri’s. The R-Rated Hero smiles truly, her heart swelling with pride.

Nemuri drives home alone that night.

Of course, the four heroines stayed at that bar for hours, laughing and drinking together once the shock of Nemuri’s lost-love bombshell faded away. As their senior, Nemuri only drank a few sips of her wine every now and again (although the gruesome memories made her want to get wasted out of her mind), and she allowed the other heroes to have their fun and get as wasted as they want. Takeyama and Fukukado were joking around, having a blast singing old pop culture songs together, occasionally getting Tatsuma to join in whenever the Dragon Hero got over her shyness.

Eventually, Nemuri dragged the three drunken heroines back into her car (thankful they all decided to take Nemuri’s car there and back), and she drove all the ladies home, making sure they had all their possessions with them before leaving. Once she dropped them all off at their houses and made small talk with any partners they had waiting for them, she decided to gather her wits and go home herself. Today was a long day, and she was surprised to find herself emotionally exhausted so soon.

The bar is a fifteen minute drive from her house, but as soon as she leaves her car and strides up the driveway, she pulls open the front door and steps inside her dark home. Despite it’s nice size, being a two story house with multiple bedrooms and bathrooms, only Nemuri lives in it, though she’s not completely alone.

“Meow!” Nemuri looks down, and her heart lifts slightly as her tabby orange cat comes bounding over to her, high in energy despite his age. Nemuri kneels down to collect him in her arms, and she cradles the cat like a baby.

“Hello, Sushi-baby,” she coos at him as she kicks the front door shut and locks it behind her. “How are you doing? Were you keeping the house safe from big bad strangers while I was gone?”

Sushi meows in response and nuzzles her bust.

The house is big and empty now, but one day, Nemuri hopes she’ll marry and settle down, maybe start a family all her own. It won’t be for a while, and honestly, Nemuri is scared to start dating out of fear of herself or her partner dying, but she decided a long time ago to live by her words so she bought the house regardless. She’s getting older now, and at thirty-two, she knows she doesn’t have much time left. At the very least, Oboro would want her to be happy, even if her happiness isn’t with him. She just hopes she can find someone accepting of her tastes and interests, like he did. 

Nemuri enters her living room and sits back in her recliner, pulling out her phone to amuse herself. Sushi immediately adjusts himself in her lap and kneads her legs with his paws, turning around in a circle before plopping down into a comfortable loaf. Nemuri scratches him behind the ears with a faint smile.

“We’ll be okay,” she says, more so to herself than to the cat.

Sushi’s lazy purring is her only response.

Nemuri leans back into her chair and sighs. Tomorrow will be a new day.

Barriss Offee's grief for Master Luminara Unduli

The scene from Rebels when Kannan and Ezra found Luminara's frozen corpse terrified me as a kid and it really scares me today.

Evanescence's song ''Like you'' inspired me to do this drawing. I started to make the first skethes back in octomber 2022 for the Day of the Dead but in those days my grandmother passed away and I saw her taking her last breath. After one year of grief and healing I decided to finnish my work and get off a weight from my shoulders.

Barriss Offee would have felt totally devastated if she would find out how her old master was given such a cruel end. After this, I would hope the New Jedi Order would give her a proper burial as she deserves.

I censored the face of Luminara because I thought some people could find it disturbing.

You also can see my drawing (the uncensored version) on https://www.deviantart.com/moonrises/art/Star-Wars-Bariss-Offee-s-grief-1003601014 and my other works on https://www.deviantart.com/moonrises

Ao3 WHY?!?!! Come back :(

Imma just cry for the next few hours….

i too would leave important life decisions up to a magic 8-ball

Since this is the platform where I’ve shared most of my stuff this year I really hope you guys like it. Posting has been sparse because this took up a lot of my time. But I think the effort was worth it to be able to share this personal animated end project. Be warned for feelings though. 

SUBMISSION.ZIP

Bruh I got ToA Tyrant's Tomb yesterday because the store had stocked it the day before.

I was reading it, and all these memories were flooding back from the past books. It was all happy and stuff, as a book from Uncle Rick would occasionally be, right?

I was sitting on be bed sobbing with tears streaming down my face. That was at page thirty-fucking-five. I'm also pissed because some rogue tears that I didn't know about landed right on the book, but it's okay.

I can't wait to see what the rest of the book has in store. Yaaayyyyyyy.

Wish my emotionally unstable self luck.

#memories #beach #mountains #plants #art #artist #painting #paint #women #trippy #crying #tears #sun #dragonfly #green #orangehair #tuesday #morningmotivation #morning #meditation #calm #chill #breathe # https://www.instagram.com/p/BvMrJqHBxA6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=5a0s8uwp6kc8

"All of the Itallian men kept calling her Bella, Bella, Bella. Well, I wanted her to be my Bella."

When he left, it was the color of the sheets. The first day without him, it was color of my coffee. The first time I saw him alone in that room, it was the feel of the air. The last time I saw him, it was color of my tears hitting the cold, tile floor. That bitter January day, with the casket lowering into the hole in the earth. That day became the color of my heart.

The color is blue