original-robin
Robin illustration by Illustrationandwaffles
308 posts
Latest Posts by original-robin
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cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them
cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.
cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,
hey what's up with the "!" in fandoms? i.e. "fat!" just curious thaxxx <3
I have asked this myself in the past and never gotten an answer.
Maybe today will be the day we are both finally enlightened.
i've seen enough horror movies starring upper-middle-income white families stuck in spacious haunted mansions. gimme stories about millennials stuck in haunted studio apartments. consider the realism:
why is this protagonist staying in an obviously haunted building despite the glaring warning signs? because a week at a motel would send them spiraling into credit card debt, they'll take their chances with the vengeful spirits. why did they chose this apartment complex to begin with, despite the many many unexplained mysterious deaths that show up on the first page of a google search? hon some of us don't have the credit score to move away from high (paranormal) crime areas. how could i be so careless as to sign a soul-binding contract with a demonic entity? bitch they're called LANDLORDS
Reblog if your blog is boopable-safe so you can get all the (probably new) achievements. I don’t care about notes I just want boops
I don't normally do original posts but I must tell someone about this. My mother, who knows vaguely about Tumblr through osmosis, just referred to it as "the conspiracy theory website". When asked to clarify, it's because "they all write stories about stories". "Fanfiction?" I ask. Yeah, apparently. "Mom those aren't conspiracy theories, they're fictional" "So are conspiracy theories!" She would not be dissuaded from this
So apparently fanfictions are conspiracy theories now, just thought yall should know.
“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos
please reblog for a bigger sample size
RESULTS:
As someone from an area with a lot of these bastards (alligator snapping turtles specifically, which are much larger), this is all great and true, but I feel like yall are underestimating these guys a bit. Admittedly i don't have as much experience with the smaller ones, but better safe than sorry.
Not contradicting the instructions, those are super good and I have helped snapping turtles across the road w similar methods, but if you're not familiar w animals or not confirdent, JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE and call animal control or your local department of wildlife. I have seen the damage these guys can do, they will literally bite off chunks of your hand or arm. Also, if you do help one along the road, remember their neck is MUCH longer than you think it is, and there's a solid chance when you put them down they will turn and snap at you, so back up immediately. They're faster on land than you think.
Not to ruin the mood of the cute comic (which is wonderful, my only critique is to add that they may turn and snap when you set them down at the end) but seriously, these are dangerous wild animals, please be careful.
trying to decide if i'd rather be a tortoise or a turtle. on the one hand I prefer dry land, on the other hand turtles can breathe out of their cloacae so. it's tricky
Undo the Damage of Sitting
Honourable mentions: Tobirama from Naruto, Hiccup from HTTYD, Inej Ghafa from SoC, Takami Keigo|Hawks from bnha, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng from tgcf, Donna Troy DC, and others that I can't think of rn lol. I go through phases.
@sctir @yersina @jgyapologism @iwamimimimi @animentality
rules: make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same. see which character is everyone's favorite!
Tagging @admirableadmiranda @jiangwanyinscatmom @origami-penguin @danmeireader @chronic-dreamer
Had a dream this morning that Archive of our Own had a Random button which would simply take you to a random fanfic, like Wikipedia has. (AO3 does not appear to really have this, I checked and couldn't find one, but I kinda wish they did.) Someone had started a game where whatever fic you got, that was your new fandom, which is very fun! I would love this meme in real life.
The problem came in where so many people used the button that it broke and just started sending everyone to Stealing Harry, and like...I have fond memories of Stealing Harry but it's not my best work and nobody should be assigned to be a Harry Potter fan in this day and age.
So I decide to go off and find Astolat and demand she fix this but when I finally did (there was a whole quest) she turned to me like the baddie in a horror flick and said, "But that's the most random story there is" in a dark voice and I was terrified and woke up.
In the cold light of day I know there are more random stories by me on the archive, let alone by others, but I'm not going to try to get back there to argue my case. Pretty sure whatever I spoke to was actually the demon specifically assigned to plague fandom and not Astolat at all.
I'd say "get thee behind me, demon" but I know just how many porny fics on AO3 begin with that premise. (I've written some.) Begone foul spirit, and take your Satanic Panic with you!
I've been collecting since before I was double digits lol, so quite a few of these were gifts, but most of the collection is souvenirs from traveling. I try to get one for every new place I go to. @godza I actually also have a problem with some of the bigger ones detaching at the base, my gigantic christmas one, the ballerina, and the Las Vagas one, always sad when they start deteriorating. My favorite is peter pan, it's one of mine that plays music and the decals on the side are so nice, tho a lot are broken now (moved 4 times since I got it as a kid lol) or the owl, it's what I got when I visited Athens, Greece years ago.
@sctir my snowglobe collection! bad picture since theyre on a super high shelf. from left to right we have a super big gay one that plays some music box song i dont know, a tiny light up mermaid one, a free hp one i got at tbe bookstore ten years ago, an autumn tinkerbell one (my fave), a germany one, a london one, a pencil holder thats more like one of those goo things rhan a snow globe, a manatee one, a dolphin one, a turtle one, a shell one, and finally a chicago one.
i used to have a flamingo one from florida but i broke it when dancing to loona girl front too hard. i have a problem with some of my more elaborate ones where the figure inside starts to detach from the base. sad! but theyre all so pretty and i like them. most of the sea ones are from my favorite beach, i try to get a new snowglobe everytime i go
do u guys collect stuff (irl)? tell me what u collect
but on the real though, here is your guide to assyrian rice preparation from your friendly neighborhood assyrian:
start wanting rice. (or, if you are traditional, simply recognize your constant desire for rice.)
measure out two cups of rice. then one more. then two more. then another. this seems fine. you love rice. there is no way that this will backfire on you.
remember that your great-great-uncle’s recipe says it should be soaked overnight.
become consumed with despair.
decide to soak it for half an hour instead, acknowledging that the final product will be inferior and anger your ancestors but will still satisfy your now almost-overwhelming need for rice to be inside your body much faster.
remember that you should have set the water to boil when you soaked the rice. goddammit.Â
once the water boils, put the rice in until it is half-cooked. the eyeballing or intuitive method is less effective than a timer but that’s how your aunt does it so you feel compelled to meet her standards.
now that the rice has fluffed up, realize how much rice six dry cups really is. holy shit. you’ve fucked up immeasurably.Â
take a minute to dwell upon your failings.
grease a baking dish with butter. this will never be as elegant as you want it to and your fingers will get greasy, but the slightly shameful, self-indulgent joy of licking your fingers afterwards will make up for it.
pour the rice into the dish. wonder immediately if you actually buttered the dish beforehand and if you’ve just fucked up.Â
melt approximately one thousand pounds of butter in the microwave and pour it over the rice, pondering your imminent death from rapid-onset arterial clogging. put a small pat of butter on the top to properly gild the lily.
put your pan into the oven, which you have absolutely preheated after your previous lack of foresight. shake the rice once or twice while it bakes to make sure the butter is well distributed. resist the impulse to climb into the oven with the rice. for the last ten minutes, sit next to the oven and count the seconds until it’s done.
remove the dish from the oven. shed a tear or two at the perfection laid before you. if you are dining with others, this is the time to serve the rice while making passive-aggressive statements about how oh no, you don’t need any help, you just made dinner all by yourself, you can serve everyone as well. (this is still fun if done alone, but optional.)
CONSUME THE RICE.
realize that you have eaten half of the dish in one sitting. no matter how much rice you made, this will always happen.Â
put the leftovers away, if there are any, and enjoy a cup of chai while marveling at the amount of food you have just eaten. if possible, fall asleep in an armchair, sitting up, head tilted slightly back, like a grandpa.
for the rest of the evening, think fondly of how much rice you have in the fridge now and how many meals it will supplement, refusing to acknowledge that you will almost certainly eat the rest of it in a few hours for a midnight meal.
