Forbiden Love - Blog Posts

Take care, everyone.

So long 👍

With every breath I try not to not be like that. Yet every path I take seems to take me to this predestined outcome

characters whose philosophy is “if i cannot be wanted, i will be needed and if i cannot be needed, let me be used until there’s nothing left of me.” thank you for everyone’s attention. falls off stage and dies

Wrap your arms around me, stab me in the

      gut. I'd be Grinning happy as i die — holding

      the one person I love.

I may be the one with your voice inside my head. Saying things you will never say.

bro, the me inside your head is kind to you, right? haha? 🤨

I would happily leave this world but this is

       the only world that has you in it.

Every gentle touch hurts, When you feel unworthy.

I am not jealous. Not at all. I am completely okay and normal right now. I am clearly not gutted with yearning.

you’re sitting across from me in a shitty diner in anywhere, america, and i watch you pour too much creamer in your coffee and i think “i love you.” you look up, catching me staring, and for a moment i think i’m brave enough to say it, but i take too long and the moment passes. i take the balled up straw wraper and flick it at you, pretending that was my plan all along. you laugh. i never want to go another day without hearing that laugh. i think i will have all the time in the world to say it.

You can hurt me all you wish

You can hurt me without care,

Without any comfort to be there

Hurt me past my breaking point,

And I will hold onto the pain

Simply cause it came from you,

Cause it's something of you I can call mine.

Love Is a curse.

She comes before the world. No sacrifice is too big. Morality Is a privilege for those who love in finite measurement like weighing calories in a meal, careful not to go over maintenance.

Something we do not concern ourselves with. If bringing you back means the world gotta burn then I will have us rest comfortably on bed or Cinders under a roof of stars.

I died but I came back exactly the same. You though, I came back and you were wrong. Did the fact of my dying really damage you that much? Was bringing me back worth what it cost you? Would it have been better to just leave me?

Hmmm I know the human mind.

I can make any stranger love me

Or at least what they perceive as love

I can become what they love

But i can't make you love me

Can't even make you want me

I know all the tricks but I can't use them on you

How little effort it will take for you to gain My love

How little effort you will have to put

Pisses me off

I can't use any way any method any trick

That's not who I want to be

I just want to love you

And have you love me back

Fully

Fuck my life

Might be some certain point

But that point is not tonight

Let's Go!!!

Because I love her.

I can get anything that I want in life.

But what do I do with it?

Without her by my side.

It's pointless.

I am so obsessed

         Got you so ingrained in me

  Your taste your smell your feel too

         So everytime my lips meet

          No doubt they only talk of you.

I want to kiss you so bad. Hard and deep.

         So everytime your lips meet

         You could still taste me.

You are so far away. And I am so down in the dumps. So unworthy. That admiting that I love you feels like fucking hubris.

I don't think I've ever related to a character more than I do to crowly.

And it might sound pretentious. I relate to him not cause he's cool or dress nice. And aloof and unaffected by the world around him. For the most part.

Its because like him I too try to be cool and evil.

Because like him, I am also in love with my best friend.

Because like him I too talk to God when I am at my wits end.

Because like him I too want to run away with my best friend/ love of my life.

Away from all this bullshit. And i keep dropping hints and I know she knows, at least I am hoping. But I don't feel worthy.

But I will endulge in that hubris all the same.

But unlike him. If she gave me a choice of serving as her second in command. As long as it meant staying by her side. I will abandon all I am and join her.

Not sure what that makes me.

You might not love me but you need me.   

      That has to be enough.

But what to do when

I am not even needed?

When we embraced each other

I know that angels fell

For they knew their heaven

Will never be as good as mine

I'm the Artist, she's my Muse.

I'm the Devil, she's my Salvation.

I'm the Monster, she's my Humanity.

I'm the Wolf, She's my Moon.

Monster: I have honor

Artist: I have bravery

Seb: I have heart

Wolf: But all I have ... is Rage

Maybe it's festering. Maybe it's mending. Maybe it's Maybelline.

why does it burn

Relatable post that I dont want to relate to.

me giving affection: oh man i really hope im not like overstepping my boundaries here. what if i make them uncomfortable? do they feel obligated to say thank you? am i going too far and scaring them? what if i’m annoying?

me receiving affection: AAAAAAAAA!!!!! AAAAAAA!A!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAA

She isn't On tumbler

i wanna date someone and live with them in a shitty apartment but be happy about it because we are happy together and we can decorate it with stupid dorky posters of shit we like and figurines and art and we can cook weird recipes we found on the internet and eat them and watch cartoons even if the food is gross because we made it and we’re perfect

When I was young

Alone in my time of need

An angel came to me

He offered to be my shield

If I could show him selfless beauty

So I became an artist

When I got a bit older

In my time of need

I called for the Monster

He offered to keep me sane

if I could help those in need

as an exchange

So I became a listener

When I was at my breaking point

The devil spoke to me

He offered me his silver tongue

In exchange of letting him feel loved

So I became a refuge for all

Then I met you

And i saw tears in your eyes

Came a voice

A feeling blooming

I couldn't deny

If you are to be the moon in the sky

I'd be the darkness by your side

Always in sight but never in reach

So I became a beast

A wolf longing for you for all time

The other three turned to you too

As the world lost meaning

And now you are gone

And we hate everything

It's my 3 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Happy birthday to us I would like the opportunity to warn everyone. I am getting worse.

Introducing

Der Monster, The one who helps, the narcissist.

Seb, The silver tongued devil, the bard.

Arty, the Wordserker, the friendly neighborhood nice guy.

Wolf, we don't talk about this.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUG NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH ...............................RAGE

Tell me pretty lies

Look me in the face

Tell me that you love me

Even if it's fake

Cause' I don't fucking care

At

All

I am not afraid of death, nor am I afraid of an unlived life.

But I am afraid of growing old, without you by my side.

I never try to leave because I worry that if I try to leave, you won't even try to stop me.