First Love - Blog Posts

I know I should give her

Her space

But how am I supposed to rest

When my heart is trying its hardest

To break out of my ribcage

But I swear this oath today

From now on anything that comes for you

Will break against my flesh

I am always late

But not anymore

How dare I forget what I am for

No more

The wolf is dead

The wolf is dead

The wolf is back

One day

I will wake up and not

Ache for you

But today is not that day

Me: writes heart felt lines as a way to cope with the pain of heart break that has never gone away even after 7 years. On a blog that no one knows about so my feelings don't get revealed.

Also me: Tiiiitssss

Me: like sexy coz plays cause it's something I want to adapt into my art style

Also me: hasn't drawn anything for 3 months

Me: Want to write and make posts about lesser known book series that I love

Also me: doesn't

You don't love her. If you did, you'd be with her

Yet you wither

Either wasting time,

Or doing so little

All the years that pass

Filled with moments

That would've should've could've

If only we weren't ourselves

Pathetic

Oh my heart.

You left him!!!!!

I wish someone would fight me for me.

I am loosing against myself

Someone help.

I wish I had never met you

Now you are so far away

I met you

I loved you

And now I live with this feeling

That something is missing

Something irreplaceable

I wish I never knew this feeling

I wish I had never loved you

I wish I had never met you

I made myself sad today

a comic with some norse mythology

You walked up to me and covered my eyes   from behind.

Years later your touch lingers still.

I don't know what to do

I am not starved for touch

I am starved for you

☹

I really don't know what 'I love you' means.

I think it means, 'Don't leave me here alone.'

~ Neil Gaiman

Boy oh boy. How I will hunt for you in every reincarnation across all timelines. One day I will get it right and make you mine.

I will never let you go.

With every breath I try not to not be like that. Yet every path I take seems to take me to this predestined outcome

characters whose philosophy is “if i cannot be wanted, i will be needed and if i cannot be needed, let me be used until there’s nothing left of me.” thank you for everyone’s attention. falls off stage and dies

Wrap your arms around me, stab me in the

      gut. I'd be Grinning happy as i die — holding

      the one person I love.

Anything* can be turned into an advantage

Apparently she likes the heat.

Tragic.

I have to have it cold in order to sleep.

I would happily leave this world but this is

       the only world that has you in it.

Every gentle touch hurts, When you feel unworthy.

I am not jealous. Not at all. I am completely okay and normal right now. I am clearly not gutted with yearning.

you’re sitting across from me in a shitty diner in anywhere, america, and i watch you pour too much creamer in your coffee and i think “i love you.” you look up, catching me staring, and for a moment i think i’m brave enough to say it, but i take too long and the moment passes. i take the balled up straw wraper and flick it at you, pretending that was my plan all along. you laugh. i never want to go another day without hearing that laugh. i think i will have all the time in the world to say it.

You can hurt me all you wish

You can hurt me without care,

Without any comfort to be there

Hurt me past my breaking point,

And I will hold onto the pain

Simply cause it came from you,

Cause it's something of you I can call mine.

Please. I miss her so much. It's making me want to stop being good.

insp

Love Is a curse.

Hmmm I know the human mind.

I can make any stranger love me

Or at least what they perceive as love

I can become what they love

But i can't make you love me

Can't even make you want me

I know all the tricks but I can't use them on you

How little effort it will take for you to gain My love

How little effort you will have to put

Pisses me off

I can't use any way any method any trick

That's not who I want to be

I just want to love you

And have you love me back

Fully

Fuck my life

I am so obsessed

         Got you so ingrained in me

  Your taste your smell your feel too

         So everytime my lips meet

          No doubt they only talk of you.

I want to kiss you so bad. Hard and deep.

         So everytime your lips meet

         You could still taste me.

You are so far away. And I am so down in the dumps. So unworthy. That admiting that I love you feels like fucking hubris.

I made myself sad again. And it's only seven in the morning.

→ Michael "acting choices" Sheen in Good Omens 2

You might not love me but you need me.   

      That has to be enough.

But what to do when

I am not even needed?

I'm the Artist, she's my Muse.

I'm the Devil, she's my Salvation.

I'm the Monster, she's my Humanity.

I'm the Wolf, She's my Moon.

She needs to recharge.

I hope

Why does this feel like a goodbye.

I was too weak

Now she is gone.

50 minutes and I am already waiting for her.

Relatable post that I dont want to relate to.

me giving affection: oh man i really hope im not like overstepping my boundaries here. what if i make them uncomfortable? do they feel obligated to say thank you? am i going too far and scaring them? what if i’m annoying?

me receiving affection: AAAAAAAAA!!!!! AAAAAAA!A!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAA

And so I will stay.

sometimes I wonder how we all survive and then I look at my best friends and I go “oh, I survive because I don’t want to leave you yet” and it makes sense. life is so hard a lot of the time, but I want one more bowl of pasta with you.