Aro Spec - Blog Posts

Am I the only one who has a few specific friends who I'm really close with and love to be around, and, if they wanted to, I'd be completely down for making our relationship into something different (romantic, queerplatonic, etc.), but at the same time, I don't activity have a crush on them or want to push for a different relationship bc what if they don't feel the same way or don't know what queerplatonic relationships are.

I want a relationship that is completely undefinable by any existing labels or words. Like, we're so close and we hug and kiss each other's foreheads and cuddle and travel and explore together, and we get along so well and have so much in common. But at the same time, our relationship isn't fully romantic or fully platonic; it's a completely separate, open-to-interpretation thing that we tweaked as needed, and we have our own boundaries and things we are and aren't comfortable with, and we respect each other in every way, shape, and form.

Am I the only aro-spec person who switches between wanting a committed partnership, be it romantic, platonic, queerplatonic, etc, and wanting to be as far away from relationships as possible?

Was I the only aro-spec person who had the experience of thinking that I had crushes growing up, but looking back, they might not have been crushes because 1. I could never or only rarely name any traits that I liked about them (and those rare times that I could were traits that I simply admired), 2. I felt immense relief when they rejected me, or 3. I just wanted to have a crush, so I chose a person and consciously decided to develop feelings for them, not knowing that it doesn't work like that?

Something I recently realized that helped me understand my aro-spec identity is that my "crushes" that I can remember weren't actually fueled by romantic attraction for the person. They were actually fueled by attraction towards the idea of dating/liking them, but not actually them as a person. I wanted to find my soulmate and as soon as I found someone that I thought fit that ideal, I would start daydreaming about being with them, but I wasn't really attracted to them as a person, just my idealized version of them and the relationship. As a result, I couldn't really name any traits about those people that I liked, aside from surface level ones like, "funny," "nice," and "hardworking." And while I was aesthetically attracted to them, I never really fantasized about kissing them or being super romantic with them (aside from maybe hand-holding or hugging), and if I ever tried, it made me uncomfortable and felt like I was violating them. Did anyone else have a similar experience or is it just me?

Reblog if you

- really want a queer platonic relationship - have a QPR - really want an asexual relationship - have an asexual relationship - are aro-spec - are ace-spec - are aroace-spec - have a pet - want a pet - are openly queer - are openly LGBT+ - are a Supernatural-fan - are a geek - are a Sherlock-fan or just love Lilo & Stitch

Lilith redraw for aromantic awareness week :))

Original from last year ↓

TUMBLRINAS I NEED YOUR HELP!! I’m writing an essay about expectations surrounding romance through the lens of aspec identities for my creative nonfiction class. I have several short interview type questions and I’m trying to collect as many responses as possible.

If you identify as asexual, aromantic, or anywhere on the spectrum pls consider taking a look at this google form:

Google Docs

Aspec Interview

Hi there! I’m an asexual college student somewhere on the aro spectrum. I’m writing a paper on aspec identities and societal expectations su

QPRs are basically homebrewing your relationship. I know what I want but it's far from all guidelines and prerequisites that society has given us. I could email you a PDF though.

Idk who I am lol

The thought of someone having a crush on me is wonderful! I adore the thought of being the object of someone's idolization and affection. It's very validating and I enjoy it :)

And yet I, ironically, absolutely despise finding out people hold such feelings for me. It's akward, and I've never even came close to reciprocating such feeling. Every time I've actually felt anything similar to a "crush", it completely dissipated after: 1) I knew them better, 2) I found out they reciprocated it, or 3) it just disappeared into thin air, for whatever reason.

This is actually really pretty!! I like it

Ah, hey, first post here. My english is not soo good and I'm brazilian btw, but, i have something to share with you 🫵

This is a version of the aromantic flag made by me, honestly i don't like so much the green, gray and black one, so i made this, i tried to post on reddit but I think it don't worked out as well as I expected. Well, here we go

The isolated flag if you want it

All about me thingy

Whenever i hear my friends talk about crushes or relationships i get really confused. Like, one of my friends was talking about how this guy (one he's hard-core pining for) called him "dear", and how happy(?) he was about it. And i'm just ???What???? Why is that good?? it just sounds really uncomfortable to me,,, Like i get platonic(?) crushes, i've had many of those, but i lack much understanding of romantic ones...

Being touched is for dorks (i'm just autistic)