I've Been Getting Told "it'll Get Better Since Like Age 11. I'm 20 Now. Let Me Tell You It Has Not Gotten

I hate how my biggest goals in life rn are to have a steady 9-5 that doesn't completely mentally drain me, and allows me to have an actual life work balance, live in my own 1 bedroom apartment with no roommates, where I can eat healthy homecooked food and actually own a functioning car I can drive. Why the fuck is that considered a wild dream nowadays? This was literally the standard/minimum like 20 years ago. Wtf. I don't want to do this anymore this whole world is bullshit why are human dignity(and rights) becoming a pipedream

Oh my god what a disgusting thing to say. Imagine if someone said "well lucky you get to ejaculate sperm" to a transfem. That would be absolutely fucked up. Neither of these things are okay. Check your internalised transphobia.

"it will get better"

"it will get better" they told me, aged 11, when puberty really kicked in and felt extremely dysphoric about my body, but didn't know what it was yet, and also got bullied for not being truly either gender.

"it will get better" they told 13 year old me, now aware of what dysphoria was, but still suicidal because of it, and felt terrible for not being accepted as a real boy.

"it will get better" they told 15 year me, who just got sexually assaulted for being trans, as well as missing lots of school(and social development) for being constantly in the hospital to navigate the medical gatekeeping for being trans.

"it will get better" they told 16 year me, still freshly traumatized from being sexually assaulted, and now disabled due to medical abuse and neglect from doctors, as well as failing school due to said disability.

"it will get better" they told 17 year old me, who was getting abused at home, while going to school and working my ass off at a minimum wage job, trying to save whatever I could while also trying to sustain myself.

"it will get better" they told 18 year me, still being abused and barely graduating high school, while fighting with my mom to let me attend the college I want, while still not having fully recovered from being temporarily disabled.

"it will get better" they told 19 year old me, now living on college campus, stuck doing a degree I don't truly want, but my parents won't let me chance. I'm succumbing to depression, adhd, and anxiety, but who cares. My body has most of its functions back but will never be the same. Still dysphoric and suicidal every day despite transitioning.

It will get better. When, my love, when? It's almost been a decade of being suicidal every single day, as well as being abused and to a degree, disabled. Some people's foundation for life crumbles, I didn't have one to begin with.

on top of that, a decade is a pretty long time. Would you expect a person to undergo cancer treatment for 10 years, only for it to not be solved? You'd feel sympathetic, right? Maybe even feel bad for them? You wish their suffering would just be over.. Why is this any different? Why am I suddenly "just not strong enough" or "just try harder"?

I'm genuinely convinced it'll never get better. I don't really have any (easy) method of... you know what, but I still want to "commit" every single day. I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, believe it will never get better.

What if you pass really well but you're still horribly dysphoric and depressed 🙄🙄🙄. /j

Never forget that the purpose of transitioning is to make you happier not to make you pass!! You may never end up being able to pass but don’t let that take from your happiness.

Had to have this legendary legacy post on my blog

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

It's insane how (some) cis men think it's completely normal and okay to have a wife that loves them unconditionally and serves them at every whim and caters her whole life to her, meanwhile I feel bad and selfish for wanting one that will sometimes fuck me and actually give a shit about my personal life and give a bit of physical affection sometimes.

Maybe female socialization is real and it's making me incredibly dysphoric. Just one of those things transition can't resolve.

i knew i wasnt supposed to live past 18

''trans lesbians don't have heterosexual privilege"

Oh

I agree it went a little too far but just for once I'd like to voice my opinion on the bad state of European trans healthcare or any other of my issues, without being met with bullying to getting told about how American(and specifically always north American) trans people have it so much worse. Then when I point out that that's not always the case, I just get told to not play oppression olympics, even though that's literally what they did with my original comments. And how can I expect to "bridge the gap" when anything gets met with "ackshually"

So yeah I just kinda fucking had it at that moment. Still kinda do but slightly more reasonable now. Should indeed not have said it, but also please stop being so dismissive of trans/lgbt people from other parts of the world.

I've concluded nobody gives a shit about trans rights. Not even other trans people. And especially American trans people. Atp I hope the election takes away your hrt, shouldn't have been a selfish and inconsiderate prick to trans people outside of the US. Maybe this is karma. Good luck out there, but I won't care if you loose access to your tiddy skittles.

And even for trans men who are fully bodily abled, white, and have little to no mental illness and/or aren't neurodivergent... Did people forget that we aren't 100% the same as cis men, in the places where trans men would get placed in men's prisons? Because while remaining family friendly, if you haven't had bottom surgery there'd be some very peculiar issues regarding that in a prison environment.

And regardless of which gender prison you're placed in, hrt access isn't always guaranteed in prison, far from it in fact.

And the whole transphobia aspect aside from placing trans men in women's prisons; women's prisons can get pretty violent too, and especially towards trans men since they're "different" which is often reason enough to incite violence. That and women's prison often being even more neglected than men's prisons.

Cut some slack on trans men who won't just "do DIY" and stop hating on those who do + transmasc diy hrt should be less taboo. I know this wasn't even about diy hrt but just had to throw that in there.

I think it’s normal to be afraid of jail especially for trans men who are disabled or not white or are mentally ill. to casually joke about “what happened to be gay do crimes” to a population whose mortality is threatened by the prospect of jail is deeply cruel and deranged behavior.