Long Post - Blog Posts

All of My Opinions on the Mean Girls Musical Movie

Firstly, loved all the original film references. Of course the obvious ones like having the same lines, the thing about fetch being slang from an old movie, but also!!

. Janis' suit being purple for spring fling!! and omg let's not even talk about how pretty Aul'il Cravalho was throughout the entire film. Her eye make-up was so impressive

. that part in Sexy where they're cycling through potential outfits and one of them is the white shirt with the purple bra holes cut out !!

Slightly upset about the fact they cut out Meet the Plastics and it ended up being more like, Meet Regina, but I get that. On the topic of songs, I understand a lot of them were cut out because they were "too theatrical" but I can still miss em!! Truthfully when I heard the new Stupid With Love I was devastated because it's one of my favourite songs and they fucking tiktokified it, but I actually think it works really well in the film- it gets the "cringy first proper love" aspect across, which is its purpose, so I'm happy.

THEY GOT RID OF "WHO HERE HAS EVER FELT PERSONALLY VICTIMISED BY REGINA GEORGE" which was absolutely criminal

AND THE PRINCIPAL AND MS NORBURY ARE TOGETHER which was actually adorable, and I didn't think about the fact that could be something that happened, but I'm very happy it did.

The bus at the end of Rather Be Me was such a jumpscare but also so funny. THEY MISSED OUT THE DIALOGUE TO DO IT THOUGH SADD. Plus she was so goofy that entire song?? Why was she running in and out of all of those random rooms.

The rumours spreading via phones looked half cool, but it's dated the film imo, which is what Tina Fey originally set out to avoid! Like "fetch" was made up slang so in years to come the film wouldn't seem cringy for having slang teens actually used to use at the time.

Big drum-roll: We did not see enough of Regina's meanness to actually justify her being a mean girl. A lot of it got filtered out through songs, and the majority of stuff was just her, like, responding badly to sexism?? Also tell me how I'm gonna villanise Renee Rapp she fucking SLAYED what a queen.

Also WHERE IS COACH CARR'S SEXUAL ASSAULT. THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON MS NORBURY GETS ARRESTED!!?? That, to me, is one of the biggest indicators in the original film of just how powerful the "Mean Girls" are, they know about this, and the other teachers don't. Not only that, but it highlights just how immature they are, because they don't do anything about it. They're girls who run the school, without having any sympathy or context to do something about bad stuff they know happens. It's just "a funny thing to write". Not having that made me sad tbh.

Changing the line to "you wrote this" in World Burn was clever but I wish we got to see more of the girls turning on each other, rather than direct fighting.

KEVIN G BEST SONG IN THE MUSICAL

Where was the 4 way phone call, DEVASTATING. We literally did not see the plastics actually interact with each other. There was no meanness, no impact, all we got were the "events" when OTHER THINGS HAPPEN. You could say it lost a lot of filler, but the filler was actually context! And part of what makes the film so good!

Devastated she doesn't say "damn you're mine" in Someone Gets Hurt. I do think it's hilarious they just didn't make the actor guy for Aaron sing at all lol

"That filter you use looks just like me" WHY. I appreciate the change from the line about weight but like, this DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. at least say "that filter you use has nothing on me" THE WHOLE POINT IS SHE'S ABOVE IT

I didn't like the extended version of Revenge Party, sorry, too used to the old version

And I did not like the girlbossification of Sexy. I get it's supposed to be powerful like "watch me as I run the world in shoes I cannot walk in" but I feel like the whole point of "I expect to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in" is supposed to point out the irony, like, being slightly critical of "modern feminism". I will say though that the wobble from avantika as she says that is superb.

Overall I thought the film was enjoyable and a nice blend of the original film and the musical, but I think both ended up losing individual meaning because of how much they intersect. You don't have time to appreciate the lyrics and power of the musical because you don't hear them all, and some of them get cut, and you can't follow the plot in a meaningful way because the songs are happening, and they skip a lot of context to fit them in.

Would totally watch it again though, if only to see Renee Rapp say "get in loser" cos she actually nailed that

filling out these because my sensory issues are not letting me sleep. ignore that im late and doing 14 days in one post

below read more bc long

April 1st: Do you have trouble recognizing emotions in either yourself or other people? Do you ever find it hard to tell how you're feeling or even to describe how you're feeling to other people? Have you ever had trouble properly expressing your feelings? Do you have trouble recognizing what other people are feeling? How does this make life difficult for you, if it does?

I can't really differentiate emotions besides them being positive and negative. Like I know when im upset and I know when im happy and that's about it. Others are similar, I can tell when they're upset and when they're happy but I can't make out specifics in emotions. I don't understand emotions either, I've never been able to "put myself in someone else's shoes." I try my best to comfort people, but it makes it very difficult, because I can't empathize in a typical way. Describing emotions I'm alright at according to my therapist, but that's really only after lots of psychology research and being a writer since I was four.

April 2nd: Dependence. How independent are you? Are you able to live alone? Have a caretaker? Live with a relative? Is there anything you need help with in your daily life? If you live alone, does being autistic make anything about it more difficult? Do you wish you lived with someone?

Okay, so im a teenager, so, by default I can't live alone. I'm somewhat dependent. I can do all bADLS, but it takes a lot of reminders as I often forget to do them. I struggle heavily or am unable to do iADLS but I blame that on me not being taught how to do them. I think I could be independent if I was given the right tools to be independent.

April 3rd: Talk about family. How are your relationships with your family members? Are they generally supportive of you as an autistic person? Are they accommodating to your needs? Does being autistic affect your familial relationships in any meaningful way?

I have a bad relationship with my mom but it's unrelated to my autism. My mom, my dad, and my brother are mostly understanding and supportive. My mom is also autistic so that helps me. My needs are not accommodated by them exactly, as my mom doesn't really let me advocate for myself, but my dad tries his best to get my mom to get me have a say in things.

April 4th: What are your current special interests if you have any? What are some positive ways having special interests have affected your life? What are some negative ways that they have affected your life? How long do they tend to last for you? You could even talk about past special interests if you want.

Writing, humans, computer science, natural disasters, healthcare, musical theatre, birds, alien stage, psychological horror, and anime.

April 5th: What are some ways that the neurotypical people in your life can help you specifically with the challenges you face as an autistic person? Ways they can accommodate you? How can neurotypical people help the autistic community as a whole?

Just be patient with me, please. I don't like it when im unable to talk either, I don't like it when I yell either, I don't like it when I'm accidentally rude either. People getting upset at me when my autism causes me to be in distress makes the distress worse, so please, just be patient. My individual needs are too large for me to list here, and ngl I don't feel comfortable putting that online, and no way in hell im gonna speak for the whole autistic community. I'm a low support needs afab white teenager, I can't understand what it's like to have any other kind of autism then my own.

April 6th: Talk about miscommunication. As autistic people communicating is something that is harder for us than neurotypical people, in what ways is communicating generally hard for you? Talk about how being autistic has led to an instance of miscommunication in the past. Talk about social blunders that you've made due to autism. Perhaps a situation where you misinterpreted something or where you said the wrong/insensitive thing.

I'm gonna steal the term my (also autistic) theatre teacher used, "Resting autism tone." I have resting autism tone so I seem rude a lot when im trying to be nice, because I am insanely monotone. I also have situational mutism and a stutter, so talking sucks sometimes. I use TTS at times and that helps me a lot. But even when typing, it's hard. I rely heavily on tone tags. I don't understand social cues at all so that causes a lot of miscommunications too.

April 7th: Have you had people treat you differently after you told them you were autistic? In what ways? How did you feel about it and what did you do?

Yeah. Sometimes it's infantilization and/or weird looks, but sometimes it's a "that makes sense" and then they treat me differently to accommodate me. That one's nice. The infantilization sucks. I'm not a little kid, me being autistic and a minor does not make me incapable, stop treating me like I am.

April 8th: Are you a creative person? What are the types of things you create? Do you think being autistic has any influence over the types of things you create or your creativity in general?

I'm an artist and a writer, and have been my entire life. It's helped me work through a lot of my problems caused by being autistic, because I don't understand my own problems, but I understand the ones of my characters. My autism influences my art and writing in so many ways because it's integral to who I am and I put a bit of myself in every single character I create. Also I have comorbid dyspraxia, so that affects my art.

April 9th: Do you struggle with mental health? Does being autistic affect your struggle with mental health? Do you have depression or anxiety and is it influenced by being autistic?

Yeah, I've got a lot of mental health issues. Depression, anxiety, addiction, ocd, pmdd, and ptsd. I may also have BPD but too young to say for sure. I won't get into the details of my mental health issues as it could be triggering, and also it's not something i want the whole world to know, but it's severe. You can blame autism comorbidities and a bad homelife for that. My therapist says that's the cause at least.

April 10th: Do you struggle with keeping up with physical health? Does being autistic affect it?

Yep. Literally procrastinating on getting medicine right now because I'm nervous about accidentally waking someone. I have a hard time with bADLS without reminders, as priorly mentioned. I have heart issues caused by dehydration because of it. PDA and comorbid OCD w/ an avoidance compulsion is a shit combo.

April 11th: What are some things that might come easy to neurotypical people, but which you either can't do or need help to do?

Cooking, cleaning, laundry, all sorts of chores, managing money, remembering basic self care, taking medications, tying my shoes, crochet, any sort of fine motor task tbh

April 12th: What are some social rules that you don't understand? Talk about it.

GENDER. My dad has explained to me why we have the social rule of gender like multiple times and I still hate it. WHY?? WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE IN A GENDER BOX?? Also why is me using a lot of punctuation considered rude. It adds whimsy. Let me live.

April 13th: Are you able to pick up when someone is flirting with you or alternatively when someone is flirting with someone else? Do you know how to flirt?

Yeah. I mean I have a BF, and I can tell when he flirts with me. I can flirt well but usually don't. I should flirt with my BF more-

April 14th: What are some of the most difficult aspects of being autistic to you? What makes it difficult? Talk about it.

Sensory issues. I hate constantly being overwhelmed by the smallest abnormality in senses. Actually, no, the worst part is the meltdowns. I have autistic meltdowns where I scream and cry and flail around and throw things and have no control over my actions, and it's scary. My mind is there, I know what I'm doing, but my body and mouth move on it's own. I hate it so much. Also the not being able to fit in like ever sucks.

Alright, that's all, I think. I'm gonna go take some medication for this fever I'm probably running then try to sleep. Thanks for reading :)

Each alien stage character might have an instrument that symbolizes them in the instrumentals (theory below)

credits to my friend @chuuburar1n for adding some points and also helping me figure out what instruments are in some songs ^^

Basically to start, in each song with a character, an instrument is present for them, and that instrument goes in and out to fit the music. More on that later, but let me list them real quickly. I'll elaborate on each, dw!

Mizi - Piano

Sua - Violin

Till - Electric Guitar

Ivan - Drums (all songs have, but more prominent in his songs)

Luka - Violin, but instrument changes when mimicking

Hyuna - No set instrument

My Clematis

To start with my clematis, in the instrumentals, it's a piano and violin duet. Not out of the ordinary, per se, these are two commonly paired together instruments. However, what leads me to believe piano is Mizi and violin is Sua is the monologue sequence where only Mizi is speaking, there's only piano then. That's the only part in the song where there is, as it's the only part where they're not singing together. And, after Sua dies, the instrumentals come to a brief halt. When they start again, the piano remains similar, yet the violin is in a lower pitch sorta? (I don't play violin, im unaware of terminology, sorry ;-;) Because Mizi is alive and Sua is not. This one is a stretch but yeah.

EDIT: @chuuburar1n has informed me the lower pitch violin is a cello. So the violin does actually cease when Sua dies. Thank you Charly 🙏

Sweet Dream

I'm writing this out after an hours work, and realizing I completely forgot to listen to sweet dream's instrumentals and take notes.. No sweet dream, sorry! :( I'd love to see what others find if anyone else analyzes it ^^ /gen

Unknown (Till The End)

Anyway, onto Unknown. Unknown, there isn't much to really say, as it's a solo song, and most of my notes are around duet songs. However, one thing of note, is that Till is quite obviously electric guitar, and in this song, it's accompanied by piano. Mizi's instrument if my theory is correct. They're both instruments of accompaniment, so this choice to use them together interests me. In other songs in Alien Stage, the guitar is accompanied by drums, generally. This one is also a stretch, though.

Black Sorrow

Black Sorrow, there's prominent drums, which is what I believe to be Ivan's instrument based on this song and Cure. I had a hard time figuring out instruments for this one, but my friend (Thank you, Charly :]) said he heard cymbals and guitar which is typical to be paired with drums. Not much else to note.

Ruler of My Heart

Ruler of my Heart contains Piano, Violin, Drums, and possibly another instrument I can't really identify. Piano is present in all songs involving Mizi in some sort of way, as aforementioned in My Clematis. Not only that, but it takes the spotlight (although other instruments are present) when Mizi is beating up Luka. Violin also makes sense, because not only is it Luka's instrument, but it's also Sua's. And he's constantly mimicking others to try and manipulate people so, y'know, he can win. And his instrument changes with each song. More on that in other songs. I claim Violin is also his instrument as it makes his way into every song he's been in so far (Ruler of my Heart, Blink Gone, Wiege). Drums, i don't take any note of as they're present in literally every song, and at this point, neither Mizi nor Luka have any involvement with Ivan.

All-In

There's less instruments in All-In then there is in other songs. Drums, occasional guitar, and other sounds created by non instruments, like clicking and clapping. Adding to my point that I think Hyuna has no set instrument, why? Because she has no hallmark instrument in all her songs, yet also, she's a rebel, she's the only one of main cast free from the competition when introduced, hence why she lacks a signature instrument if that makes sense? It's a stretch, I know. My friend also pointed out that it could be because the rebels are out of alien stage so they don't have much musical equipment or the proper setting to make music. Hence the present of the non-conventional productions of sound to add, and the lack of instruments.

Cure

Cure's two prominent instruments are electric guitar and drums. Electric guitar is more prominent when Till sings. When Ivan begins to sing, the drums are not there at first, leaving just piano, then pick up and are more prominent. And when they both sing, they (as in Electric Guitar and Drums) both are prominent, unlike when the other's instrument is in the background of the other's part, accompanying. Also, when Ivan dies, the drums stop, leaving only electric guitar. Only the guitar, Till is left, and the drums, Ivan, aren't around anymore. I believe an instrument stopping or changing in a duet of instruments symbolizes a death generally, as it's present here, My Clematis, and somewhat in Wiege.

Blink Gone

This is where I get my Luka changing instruments motif. In Blink Gone, there is guitar, drums, piano, violin, and xylophone. Guitar picks up when Till sings, but Luka? When he sings, violin doesn't pick up, although it's played in the song by Luka, Piano does. I was stuck on this, but my friend then suggested the instrument change to represent how he mimics and changes to manipulate others. Yet it's not his true instrument. And I think that works really well. The one i believe is his true instrument, Violin, is present only at the end of the song, when it's clear he's winning. What's also worth noting is that the drums become more prominent in the parts where Till is thinking of Ivan. The end part with the Xylophone I don't have much to note on the symbolism behind it, maybe that it symbolizes childhood/innocence, I've heard people say it symbolizes Till's heartbeat? But although it does slow, you never hear it come to a halt, it just cuts out, which is why TILL IS ALI- (/j, I didn't use this in my evidence for why he's alive bc of how iffy it is. Go check out my Till is Alive theory if you want actual decent points on why I think he's alive lmao.)

Wiege

There's another point why I think Violin is Luka's instrument, and it's because this is what symbolizes him, when he isn't mimicking and he's being more true to himself when he's with Hyuna. Also, fun fact, the morse code in the beginning translates to 'ALIVE.' Because he feels alive when he's with Hyuna. Anyway, wiege has violin, piano, xylophone, and some sort of string instrument. I've talked about in the previous song how xylophone can symbolize childhood, when times were better. There's also just violin and accompanying instruments here because Hyuna doesn't have a set instrument. This is where I got iffy on my theory, because when Hyuna dies, Luka's instrument fades out, not any others. But I've realized it's a mix of how Hyuna has a lack of instrument, and Luka only feeling alive when he has HER. When Hyuna dies, he feels like he's died too; dying inside. Maybe he's still surviving, but is he really living?

I think I've covered everything and all my points and all. I don't know, I've been working on this for two hours, so my brain feels like mush. AuDHD be damned, i guess. Whether you choose to agree with me on these points is up to personal intereptation of the storyline! And if you read this far, thank you :)

i love being a weird kid ngl. its so fun and honestly the people considered "normal" are all the same to me and seem kinda plain? like what would being "normal" even be like what do yall even talk about.

like yeah so what if I like silly little musicals and watch anime and am a therian and am unapologetically neurodivergent + lgbtqia and dress alt and am in theatre and have obscure interests and have dyed hair and stuff like that. so what if me and my friends use archaic language as a joke and make dances + mess around + watch anime and read manga during lunch. so what if I don't fit your stupid social norms.

yeah I'm weird and cringe but im literally still a fucking teenager and being weird and cringe is apart of growing up and finding who you are !! embrace it !! embrace your whimsy !! even if you're not still growing like me and you're an adult reading this post you should also embrace your whimsy !! being whimsical is fun !! life is too short to care about what others think !!

and the people that are also "weird" that I know are genuinely the sweetest kindest funny people and I can have actual conversations with them without feeling like I'll be judged !! Find those people that make you happy !!

my point is life is short and I am also still a kid so I am cringe but I am free. I will be a kid and enjoy myself as I like while I still have the chance because every adult says don't be in a rush to grow up and my dad always raised me to be my true self :)

have a nice day and stop giving a fuck about others opinions

Why i genuinely think Till is Alive, because I'm tired of people thinking I'm joking

I have been working on this since November, help-

From a narrative standpoint, killing off Till would not be the right decision for writing. Each character dies and has a person to grieve them and experience growth based around their loss. Sua was grieved by Mizi, Hyuna will be grieved by Luka, and for Ivan, his person was Till. But if Till was dead only a few hours later, how could he recieve that character growth? I think if Till was dead, that wouldn't be good writing, and I'd be quite annoyed if he is dead.

This is slightly an add on to previous point, but the standees pretty clearly confirm it to me. Sua, Ivan, and Hyuna are all gray scaled and have angel wings. The others are in color and grieving their losses. If till was dead, wouldn't he also be an angel? It reinforces my long standing belief of him living.

There was no after-death comic like with Sua, Ivan, or Hyuna. It does not feel like he is supposed to be dead.

The things used to monitor heart rate in their ears, you can catch Mizi taking it out if you watch closely enough. Hence, sort of a way to fool the aliens into thinking they're dead, if that makes sense?

Also, at the end of round 7, his portrait flickered out and glitched. Others portraits went immediately out. Maybe it's because, I don't know, a heartbeat was still detected until she took out the monitor?

He didn't bleed out like the others did, you don't see a pool of blood, leaving me to believe the neck wound isn't that deep and can be treated. As long as it didn't pentrate the platsyma muscle he has good odds. (You guys do not wanna know how much I've researched neck wounds for this.)

His leg is still upright, which if he's dead, wouldn't really work? I mean there has to be blood flowing still for his leg to be up. He very well could just be unconscious, a multitude of factors would make fainting likely.

At the end of Wiege, Mizi's arms are over his face when they weren't before. Leading me to think, what if he opened his eyes and she's trying to hide it from the aliens? ALSO, my friend pointed out, if you turn up your volume at the end of wiege, YOU CAN LITERALLY HEAR A HEARTBEAT.

Art symbolism. In one piece of official art, he looks away from the camera while the others look at it. Maybe I'm delusional but it helps me believe he's alive even more. Also, in the art they posted after round 7, there's a red thing coming from his neck that looks like something used in a blood transfusion. Also the all-in cover art has a red bandage where he was shot.

Looking through my notes, I do have more evidence but it's sorta iffy. So these are my main points.

I really hope yall appreciate my theory and get what I mean because I started this theory November 19th. It's March 17th. Crazy.

Alien Stage is clearly a metaphor for the entertainment industry (especially the idoling industry), so let's talk about it. Because I feel as if that is overshadowed in the fandom.

(A post by not only a massive alien stage fan, but a newer child actress.)

TW: SA, CHILD EXPLOITATION, TALK OF BEAUTY STANDARDS & DIET CULTURE

I've heard people talk about Alien Stage being a metaphor for the idoling industry, but no one really goes in depth that I've seen. I also have a bit of experience and have done tons of research on the entertainment industry for my own career as an actress (who's currently looking for their first acting job. No, this isn't to try to be scouted, it's just to clarify i am not super experienced-)

So here's everything I could find that parallels. I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, my cat is laying on my arm right now and will not move-

The treatment of the contestants by aliens in alien stage, resembles the way people treat idols in media in our reality. People fan and obsess over their stage personas, yet behind closed doors they are horribly mistreated and abused.

Trauma and tragedy is exploited. In real life, talent shows and the like will make contestants use something bad that's happened to them to gain sympathy points from the audience. In Alien Stage, do I genuinely even need to explain? That show is a massive amount of tragedy, and Mizisua was almost definitely put together in round one for a reason -- to play with the aliens' feelings.

The way aliens exploit pet humans for fame and use them, is similar to the way parents/guardians exploit their children as child actresses. Children are trained from a young age to fit this standard and be entertainment for us.

SA is extremely common in the entertainment industry. Tons of people in the industry, especially producers and directors, end up being fucking creeps who sexually abuse the people they work with. I can name a plentitude of cases. I am not a victim of this myself so I cannot speak for victims, but it is something that absolutely happens. And in Alien Stage, Luka and Till (I've also heard Ivan?) have both been implied to be sexually abused, meaning it's probably not uncommon in that world either.

Insane beauty standards. IRL as an actor, you are fatshamed, every part of your body and appearance is nitpicked, you absolutely have to fit a beauty standard. Many people are extremely insecure, plastic surgery is common too. Not to mention, diet culture runs fucking rampant. People often are put through insane and risky diets. This is especially bad in the idoling industry. Then in Alien Stage, you can probably take note of multiple characters, but I'm going to focus on Luka for this point. Luka's eating habits are canonically strictly managed, and he isn't allowed to eat much. Not to mention, Luka, and likely other characters were literally fucking BRED FOR THIS?? Like its implied they quite literally kept making him again and again until they found one that fit their standard, resulting in all his issues as well.

Dare I say no privacy. The humans in alien stage are quite literally watched by aliens 24/7, allowed no freedom or privacy. In real life, maybe it isn't exactly this for actors, but people dig into their personal lives and allow them no privacy. People doxx information and stalk actors, to the point where there's been cases of people having to move houses because of crazy fans. When people ask to stay out the spotlight, people find them anyways.

May be forgetting some stuff, but my point is that Alien Stage is a metaphor for the entertainment industry, especially the idol industry. We are the real life aliens, if you think about it.

I honestly wish people talked about it more. It's so important to the show yet I feel like it's overshadowed by the romance aspects. That or it's a lack of media literacy. I'm honestly unsure.

AAAH I FINALLY FINISHED MY MAIN OC FOR BNHA 

This took so long you don’t even know- But after months of procrastination, here he is!

This will be a long post, but his bio is below.

Keep reading

So pretty, I adore

I already had this drawn for a long while, just needed to finish the character facts, soooo yeah. . .

🩷Haru: is Espios childhood friend and girlfriend. . . At some point, She's the niece to Valdez and second youngest in her family 

LIKES: Espio, Mochi, Dancing(?) Baking, Hugs DIS-LIKES: winter, (???) AGE: 13 to 16 

:Although she comes off as an exited air head she is quite smart and vary respectful, a vary Ochako Uraraka to Tohru Honda 

:Example, Espio doesn't like to be touched so when their together she'll ask if it's ok/if she can

: She has a vary Ochako Uraraka/Tohru Honda personality meaning She’s vary sweet and kind-hearted, open-minded, gentle and optimistic girl, hardworking and positive, She’s a warm, cute, lively individual who thinks about everything positively, though she is objective enough to see flaws and virtues. She is generally empathetic and friendly to those she meets, and gets very excited when meeting new people, and she will try to help or defend anyone who is kind to her or needs assistance. Haru is very good at reading people, 

She’s very bubbly and is kind of an airhead sometimes. She can be incredibly blunt without being aware of it, Haru’s reactions tend to be exaggerated, she’ll often get excited or amused bursting into laughter at times, or raising her voice, which she tries to suppress, ninja discipline and all 

She’s vary passionate and can take on an extremely determined, focused, serious, and somewhat intimidating attitude when the situation demands and requires it. She can also be quite sassy and sarcastic at times. Despite her airheded and over the top-ness(?) she’s Vary respectful of other people and their opinions. She’s also a lot smarter than people think (There’s way too much there)

:Her family runs a bakery/restaurant, and is close to the Clan leader(s), in fact they've Catered for some big events(&/or certain festivals?)

:However she only became friends with Espio when they where 13/14 :the restaurant is one of the best in the clans a lot of people would describe it as a home cooked meal, they make a lot from breakfast, lunch, dinner, Sweets and pastries :Haru well help out in it and enjoys baking the most

: Haru actually taught Espio how to bake, (he enjoyed it)

:her and Espio met when they where young but never really became friends, Haru was just to much for Him at the time : One time she convinced Espio to go sneaking around with her to investigate some suspicious activity that ended up being right :their parents didn’t know weather to be disappointed or proud :This is essentially what began their real friendship, 

(although Espio has mixed feelings on the event that caused it)

:She was trained in combat much like most in the clan, and she was more skilled and was moved to Etsio's classes when she was young (14)

: her headpiece was actually a gift from Espio 

: she eather has a lot of friends, or not many because of how energetic she is, similar to her uncle

: she loves spring and all of the cherry blossoms, she especially loves the three day cherry blossoms festival (which has another festival a few weeks before it, the ‘festival of peace’ it’s to celebrate the peace treaty of the ‘four’ clans)

(Also :female chameleons tend to have smaller horns, and they tend to be in different positions)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

💙Valdez: he has a vary similar position to Etsio, as a jonin however him and a small team(?) do missions outside of the clan/that are far away 

LIKES: Weapons, nature, making jokes, kids DIS-LIKES: people not listening, ??? (May change) AGE: 38/39

:he’s basically that one guy who never got married and is to old for kids but wanted/wants both so he loves to take care of his best friends kids (:he’s That uncle)

:he sees Espio as a son/nephew, (and Espio sees him as an uncle) 

:he had one mission that took him away for 5 years :it was to make sure everything went well around the Dragon-Kingdom and that the peace was a actually kept and that nothing bad was happening anymore 

:once he got back from his long mission he taught Espio and a few other kids Ninjutsu, both separate and together

:he’s vary patient with his students, and loves little kids

:He trained Espio form 5 to 13

:He was his most skilled student and was sad when Espio left his class 2 years before he was supposed to, but he was proud of him nonetheless 

: Him and Etsio were best friends, they even considered eachother to be brothers

:Valdez was the more playful one always making jokes and messing around (generally considerd odd amongst the clan), while Etsio was calm but still playful as well 

:he’s actually leased trained then Etsio 

:Haru is his niece, (he was vary excited to learn she and Espio where dating) :he’s not that close with his siblings but is close with her (he really is That uncle. .)

:he loves Ella and treats her like his own daughter, he even jokes about taking her as his own, to which Etsio finds to be vary funny and jokes back that he’ll beat him up

:he may or may not have have a ‘thing’ for one of his teammates. . . . . 

:he’s horn was cracked in I fight when he was younger, around 15, it slowly started getting bigger and bigger turning into a missing chunk and eventually it’all brake off completely

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

(I really should have posted this a while ago)

also here’s a drawing of Haru and Espio, (and their dads/uncle)

THIS WAS THE REFERENCE!!! IT WAS BY MOTOBUG THEY ARE AMAZING!!! AND I AM VARY! VARY! SORRY I RIPPED YOU OFF SO BAD!!!!!! IT WAS NOT MY INTENTIONS!!! BUT I STILL HAVE TO POST THIS, HUGE CREDIT GOES TO MOTOBUG!!!

@motobug IM SO SORRY

so these are for a AU type thing I’m doing, it’s kinda a royal family type thing, I hope it’s not to hard to read my handwriting I spent hours re-doing it multiple time

💜Elena: she’s the Lord/Empress of the Shinobi Clan and mother of Espio. : she’s vary straightforward and quite sensible when making decisions for her clan. however she does have a soft spot every once in a while, especially for her son. : she rarely ever looses her cool she’s always calm and collected

: Elena loves her people and being able to lead them, even if she spends most of her time on diplomatic work revolving around it. :she also loves spending time with her family even more.

: she much like her husband tries not to use favoritism towards him in certain situations, sometimes coming off as harsh, but she always shows she loves him at the end of the day : her grate grandma was the ruler when the Clan wars started, it ended when Elena was 23/24. : she started ruling when she was 18, and spent most if not all of her time on the Clan War, but she did manage to find time to marry Etsio. : 6 years of her ruling was during the Clan War, and it’s been mostly at peace since then with a few disagreements here and there but nothing to brake any treaty’s :the year the war ended Ellena and Etsio decided to have a baby. (:she will send Ninjas out to gather information on the other clans they typically go unnoticed, and report back with various information :it’s safe to say if things went bad with the four clans again theirs would be ready, not to mention none of the other clans know where their located)

(:along with being the leader she was also a highly trained Ninja, Or Jonin which means ‘High ranking Ninja’) LIKES: serving her people, peace and quiet, her son. DIS-LIKES: war, fighting, being away from her kingdom. FAVORITE FOOD: jasmine tea. AGE: 39 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

💙Etsio: he’s Espios father and the most skilled Ninja in their ranks, he’s a teacher/trainer, he teaches various Ninja skills from weapons, sneaking/camouflage, fighting, etc, most of his students are 15 to 18, sometimes their well be a few that are younger, but he does have one of the most difficult classes.

:Espio is one of his many students, he tries not to give him any special treatment (and usually doesn’t) let it be known he loves his son vary much but he’s normally a lot more harsh on him then his other students : he’s vary strict but he does care about his students, although he’s a serious man he can ba quite playful and mischievous at times, messing with and joking around with people he’s close with and his students. :Him and Valdez are best friends they see each other as brothers even. They’d trained and grew up together. :Etsio was somewhat jealous of how His son favored Valdez over him :He was a Jonin guard and protected Ellena when he was 15, they got to know each other and eventually got together in secret until she took the throne and got married a year later when they where 19. Not long after the Clan wars ended they had their First child And only son Espio when they were 24, (they had their daughter at 37) LIKES: being a Ninja, learning, reading. DIS-LIKES: Arrogance, uncared for weapons. FAVORITE FOOD: Udon. AGE: 39/40 (he’s half a year older then Ellena)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Espio: Son of Ellena and Etsio, and also the ‘Son’ of the Shinobi Clan, he left the clan when he was 15. :he was already in complicated classes for his Ninja training but he exceeded the others so much that he had to be moved up to his fathers class, (which he was vary proud of). :The classes he was in prior was Valdez’s whos basically like a uncle to him

:he’s always been calm and dedicated to learning, from ninja skills to different languages, and anything he’d find interesting really. :he’d spend hours reading all kinds of books, his parents and teacher found him many times asleep with a book

: horribly awkward in social situations, he can easily get embarrassed/flustered in these situation not knowing what to say or do, sometimes he’ll even go as fare as to go invisible so know can see him blush :he was always the more quite kid only talking with people he was close with, like his family or Valdez

:Espio doesn’t like physical contact, Especially when it’s sudden like Hugs, hands on shoulders etc, if it’s someone he likes/or is close to wich he’s mostly fine with

: Moma’s boy. . . . He’s always been close to her then his dad :his dad on the other hand he started to see more as a Sensai then a dad :he loves his dad he just can’t figure out how to show it : he’s actually closer with Valdez then him. :he’ll actually talk a lot around his mom

:Female chameleons are the ones with the heart chests, it’s possible for males to have them but it’s rare :most people make fun of men with heart chests or think it’s cute,

(: he speaks/ is fluent in 17 different languages Japanese, English, Chinese, Mandarin, Korean, Vietnamese, Spanish, Indonesian, Arabic, Hungarian, Portuguese, Egyptian, Dutch, French, Italian, German, Russian,)

LIKES: Peace and Quiet, Reading DIS-LIKES: Physical Contact FAVORITE FOOD: Dango AGE: 13 to 15

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ella: Ella is the youngest and only daughter of the ‘Royal’ family, she’s still a baby/toddler but she loves her big brother

:Definitely likes her dad more

LIKES: her big brother, shiny things, pink DIS-LIKES: Green bell peppers, loud sounds, yellow FAVORITE FOOD: Sweet potato’s AGE: 0 to 3

(there’s not much on her . . . . Sorry)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

There’s two more characters Valdez and Haru, Valdez was from the Archi comics and was already mentioned a few times wall Haru is Espios ‘best friend’ she’s also his girlfriend when their older, I have much more for them, should I do more on those two?

Some of this is just the plots for certain One-Shots for this AU others (manly Espios) where just random thing I threw in

Sorry again for the handwriting

I had more to say but I can’t remember right now. . . . . eh I’ll post Valdez and Haru soon, I just finished the drawings for them in like to days meanwhile this one took 3/4 or more it’s been sitting in drafts for a week or two as well (I got sick when I started it so).

(update I changed some words in here for Japanese titles based on my recent research, I hope I used everything right)

Sorry OP for butting in but: if you cannot go to the protest in person due to mobility/parental/safety reasons, one role you could play is home base. A home base is a person or multiple people in one space, ideally near to the police station where those who get arrested will get taken, with multiple phones for contacting people, or being the emergency contact for others, and food/water/clothes/meds/bail money for the protesters who get arrested. If they get a call, one person can go and give the arrested protesters whatever they need and bail them out. The space should also ideally act as a safe haven if needs be, for injured, overwhelmed or disabled protesters, and should have multiple rooms for rest and first aid. Anyway, sorry for the long block of text, I just think that this is important. I have acted as part of a home base for many protests, and a lot of people are grateful for the help.

ICE raids are happening.

Any immigrants, no matter how long you have been a citizen of the USA, is at risk of being deported either out of the country as a whole or into what are basically concentration camps. Raids starting in Chicago, Illinois. and spreading to other major cities with high POC and Hispanic populations. The US Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and Customs and Border Patrol (CBP) have started raiding homes and families in California.

There are no "protected locations" as of January 21, 2025. Hospitals, schools, and churches are all at risk of being raided, where before these places were deemed safe and off limits to raids.

When it comes to spotting an ICE agent, look for these:

Weirdly neat/well kept hair (shaved heads, side parts, military burs for men; low buns, high ponytails, close cropped bobs for women)

Oversized jacket (long and bulky outerwear makes it easier to hide tools/equipment without being suspicious)

Both hands in pockets

Many undercover agents/cops buy cheap plain clothes off the racks so they aren’t seen in their own clothes. This can make their outfit seem awkward

Sweatshirts with the hood up

Sports apparel (warm up jacket, sweats, etc) with non-sports clothes (jeans, cargo shorts)

Cargo pants/shorts (usually full of items like their badge, flashlight, taser, pepper spray, backup handcuffs, zip ties)

Military or hiking style boots, sometimes chunky sneakers (extra points if none of it matches anything in their outfit)

Outline of a gun in their pants/shirt (easy to see when bending, leaning, or raising arms) (NO NOT SAY ANYTHING)

Overly friendly

Overly inquisitive

“How old are you” and “what do you know about this happening” are both red flags, along with generally odd and personal questions

Don’t fit in

Mismatched pairs in public spaces (usually cops do these things in pairs. They don’t talk to each other or acknowledge each other much, if at all)

DO NOT SAY ANYTHING UNTIL YOU ARE 100% SURE

YOUR BEST BET IS NOT TO SAY ANYTHING UNTIL THE SUSPECT STARTS ACTING OFF AND GETTING PUSHY

COPS ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO TELL YOU THAT THEY ARE UNDERCOVER

COPS CAN AND WILL LIE TO YOU

SCREAM “LA MIGRA” AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS

For protesting:

N95 masks

Respirator/gas mask if you have access to one

Water water water water water (I hate to say it, but disposable one use bottles are best here. If it comes to it, you need to be able to drop and run.) Use for flushing wounds, flushing eyes of tear gas, and of course drinking.

Snacks! You'll be doing a lot of walking and/or running and need to keep that energy up. Trail mix, dried fruit, nuts, granola bars, crackers, jerky/meat sticks, fruit snacks, candy, etc. Think of it like packing your lunchbox for a field trip.

Eyedrops (teargas is a bitch)

Goggles (I bring my old snowboarding goggles)

If you are wearing a t-shirt or have exposed skin, put on fake/temporary tattoos. If you are brought into something and they say you were there, showing a picture of you with the tattoos, show them where that tattoo would be and how there’s nothing there. How would you get rid of a giant flower on your forearm in 2 days anyways?

Wigs fall under the same category as tattoos. The person they're claiming to be you has a blonde bob and you have green hair past your shoulders.It also makes it possible to go with a completely different color without the use of hair dye. This means if they try to arrest you later and try to prove it was you by taking your hair and testing for dye, it won't come back the way they hope. (Thank you @violetrosepetals for this addition!)

Hide your hair. I tuck my hair into my beanie since it’s short. If you have longer hair, try to do the same or tuck it into your shirt. Balaclavas are also a good choice, as they cover both your face and hair.

Power bank

Chargers

Helmet. Any is fine, my personal choice is a skating helmet since they’re rounder and can take more damage, but tactical is also good

Hand sanitizer

Gloves with hard knuckles (tactical gloves). These pack a good punch even if you don't have the correct form. Don't have those? Wrist guards for roller skating/skateboarding work kinda like that too. More of a slapping motion, but still hurt like a bitch. Extra points if they're all scuffed up from use and falls.

Bandanas. Somebody might need one for their face or hair, maybe you need to get dirt off somebody’s face, maybe somebody got injured. They’re great for anything and everything.

Cash (try to stick to cash, your card can be tracked)

Medications if you take them. If you get arrested or happen to somehow be away for longer than expected after the protest, it’s always good to have emergency meds

FIRST AID ALL THE FIRST AID (Tourniquet, Quikclot, chest seal, trauma shears, gauze, bandages, duct tape, and all the usual stuff you’d have in there)

Good shoes. Boots and sneakers are your best choices. Not heels, not platforms, not sandals. Good boots or shoes that won't come off your feet too easily when you run. Steel toed shoes are a great option. Your toes won't be squashed, but also it'll hurt someone a lot more if you start kicking.

Spare socks. Trust me. You can use them to stop bleeding if it comes to it, but also you can put rocks in there and boom weapon. Also if the socks you're wearing get wet.

As much covering clothing as you can handle. Plain jeans, plain hoodie, plain t-shirt, keep yourself as anonymous as possible. Black and baggy is best.

Photocopy of your ID, not your real one.

Sunscreen!

Make sure your clothes have pockets, even if you have a bag. You want everything to be easily accessible.

Do not wear contact lenses. If tear gas is used, that will make everything so much worse. Wear your glasses or go blind. If you have overly unique or identifiable frames, goggles are your friend here. Get some goggles that will fit over your frames, preferably ones that are tinted.

If you use mobility aids, cover defining features. Logos, brand names, colors, stickers, all of it. Take some old plain t-shirt and tie it around your wheelchair’s backrest. Wrap your wheelchair frame in cling wrap, then duct tape, or plain black self adhering medical tape. Cover stickers on your cane or crutches the same way. Electric chair? You have a little more work, but you can do it. Wrap it up. Same idea. Walker? Same thing. Cover. It. All.

If you are bringing a bag, make sure that bag is as plain as possible. No pins. No patches. No keychains. Except maybe a pride flag so people know which team you're playing on.

Scarf or keffiyeh if you have one. They have many uses!

Write a reliable phone number (of someone who is not at the protest with you) on your body. On the off chance you get arrested, that is your emergency contact.

Pocket knife.

Pepper spray/mace/bear spray

if you get tear gassed, shake around first before using water. Most tear gas is more of a powder and water has a high likelihood of just spreading it around. (Thank you @actually-a-bread-loaf for this addition!)

Tennis rackets also work wonderfully for chucking tear gas canisters back at those throwing them. Anybody asks, you're going out to play tennis with friends later. Baseball bats also work! (Thank you @azul-nova-24 for this addition!)

Anything you can throw. Soup for my family.

IF YOU CAN, LEAVE YOUR PHONE AT HOME

IF YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT WITH YOU, TURN OFF LOCATION SERVICES ON ALL APPS AND TURN OFF BIOMETRICS (FACE ID AND FINGERPRINT) SO YOU CAN ONLY UNLOCK YOUR PHONE WITH YOUR PASSWORD

COPS CAN FORCE YOU TO OPEN YOUR PHONE WITH YOUR FINGERPRINT OR FACE ID

MAKE SURE SOMEBODY KNOWS GENERALLY WHERE YOU ARE

If you see a potential or active raid, take pictures and note the time and location. Post online if you can, as well.

You have the right to remain silent. State that you wish to remain silent. Avoid giving information about anybody's immigration status. You have the right to refuse to sign anything before speaking to an attorney. You have the right to refuse searches of your car, your home, and yourself. Schools do not collect a child's immigration status.

I do not want to scare anybody, but this is what life is right now. That man does not care how long you have been a citizen of this country. If you are not a white, cisgender, heterosexual, Christian male, you are seen as less than by men in power. You are not less than. You are a threat to them, and they are scared. Keep it that way.

Even if you're not currently protesting, it's good to know this just in case. Things are happening very quickly, and there is a very high chance of it changing very quickly within the next four years.

Here's the link to my post on what to bring in terms of first aid.

If you cannot attend protests, that’s fine. Do what’s best for you. Even just reposting information helps.

This is an updated version of this post,

Updated January 27, 2025.

Yes,

I often wonder if these frozen bones of mine could ever find warmth.

An empty bed does not ease me into an gentle rest.

And today, I found myself growing bitter with the frost. Food, water, light, sleep. Many questions. It is hard to know where my pain comes from.

Is this how bitter people are formed? Undergoing constant strife and feeling relief dangled and ripped away from them?

Or do they choose on some level, to become cruel or sharp.

I’ve been through pain. I am in pain right now. It is not the drowning I have felt before. More, a tugging sensation. Like night trying to pull away the dawn.

When i speak- It helps. I can put out all my worries and thoughts, and suddenly there are little strings to follow and find the problems that cause the worry.

I tell it to my love. For healing. But Saying so much pain. Will it cause him pain? Will it stop him from expressing his own? I want to take all the rough feelings he has, the anxiousness, the sad, the pain, and show him I love him along with all of them. And by showing him my own rough feelings, I hope he feels comfortable to show me all of his. But have i overdone it? Shared to many fleeting feelings? Do they make him anxious and worried? Does he hate me for them? Does he think this is all i have to offer??

Where is the line between expressing pain and wallowing in it?

I worry about my love. Is he mad. Is he happy? Is he secretly growing to despise me. Understanding more and more why I was deemed unlovable by those designated to love me. I want to shout! I can be more! I can be enough. Please give me time. I’ll be enough for you one day. Just please give me a chance to recover. I worry.

But I will not make these worries my reality.

I will not lose my gentleness.

My love, he has never asked anything of me, but to trust him. He’s a kind soul. Sweet and feisty and so strong but never scary. It is hard for us, to be so constantly far apart. I only want to ease his mind, and hold him close. I am okay today. And he is not. If only this vicious world would let me hold him. Perhaps that could soften the worries on his mind.

Why must life be so grating? It is not right. For us who have loved and us who have lost. We get no justice.

And yet,

I will not lose my love.

- - -

I am in a storm of emotion. Feeling little clarity. Scraps of thoughts battering my mind to anxiousness.

Why so much fear child?

Those gentle eyes in your head, offering to help quiet the storm. Kind words in your own voice, do not have to be the only ones you hear.

You are not alone. Give to others. Give it all. Take all they give back. You feel afraid?

You have nothing else to give?

Are you enough… with your raging fears… and constant problems?

Perhaps, those are not yours.

Is this even about me? How selfish am i? To keep all this kindness and never repay it. To receive all this love for my hardened heart. I am frozen my love. I am thawing. Am i too late? To know your love… I don’t feel i give enough. Do i give you enough love? I’m sorry for taking more than I give. I’m sorry for being unable to understand my worth to you. I am beautiful. I am sweet. These are things to give! My strangeness, my pain, my confused soul. These are things to hide.

and yet…

yet-

he says so much so quietly.

He is happier here, with me. I am not good at understanding such loveliness.

Evilness. Pain. Betrayal and dying. Such things consumed me and are not foreign to me. I know shitty things like the palms of my hand. They do not frighten me.

He says he loves all of me

He does not lie.

How strange…

almost frightening, to be loved so completely. Almost. I want to never leave him. I want to be everything for him. I have never been everything. But I’ve always been enough for him. I don’t understand … I don’t understand how when i am not all that i should be. I am not fixed yet. I am not perfect yet. I fuck up. I make a myriad of mistakes.

He still loves me. Always. How. How?

no matter what i say. What strange confused things I do. He never leaves. But i am not perfect!

why does he still love me when i haven’t fixed everything? me and all my flaws…

he loves

my imperfections.

I said once, to a different soul, that love was looking past all the imperfections. Yes the person has shaky hands and can’t spell to save their life. They get so confuddled and are shy and need dark rooms to stay in for hours. But they’re yours so you love them. (And they give such nice things! Like validation. Constant reassurance. To keep the loneliness at bay.) They serve their purpose. They are just a tool to gain happiness, and not… A person.

But my love… my love he…

He loves my shaky hands. He loves my confused mind and being smart and at the same time oh such a silly dumbass. He loves my jokes and my happiness. My voice and my heart. He sees so much loveliness in me. And in my human moments, he loves me.

For how painfully and constantly human i am- He loves me.

In love with your analysis and it got me thinking of my own. It’s my first so hhh plz be patient with me. Lol So here;

I think that cc!wilbur is setting up a more complicated conflict that involves more than just c!dream. He’s showing us more reactions to c!Wilbur’s change. He showed us c!Tommy who was apprehensive but still cares for him. c!Phil who forgave him entirely and maintains he did nothing really wrong. c!Ranboo who wasn’t affected too much so he gives c!wilbur forgiveness. And now we have cTubbo who forgave c!will but couldn’t trust him to join paradise like Tommy or Ranboo (I give up typing c! it’s all about the characters lol). So following that pattern, i feel like the realization that dream isn’t a good person will come with some others. Which I think are not just around Dream but, Niki, Jack, Quackity, etc. Everyone from or greatly affected by L’Manburg. I think that Revivebur might not receive forgiveness from everyone. I’m excited to see (and a little nervous cuz heh wilbur makes the feels incredibly real.) But the reactions to his change are each incredibly different and I think soon we’re going to see some sharp “fuck no”s to Wilbur asking for forgiveness.

But this begs the question- why is he the only one asking for it?? Why is he the one who everyone blames for L’Manburg’s destruction. Yes Dream has been imprisoned but Techno and Philza also destroyed L’Manburg. A place that was people’s home and not harming anyone. And I’m even more so directing this at the fans of dsmp. I find it incredibly interesting that at the first glance of finding a villain to hate- everyone clung to it. No one views philza or techno in the way they view wilbur. And arguably they did much worse than Wilbur! L’Manburg was rebuilt after Wilbur but there’s hardly any hope for that after Dream, Techno, and Phil blew it up. They’ve received no repercussions while wilbur received one of the worst fates i could imagine. It just doesn’t seem fair. And the thought that Wilbur views that as fair I think could change the more he learns about the past. The more he realizes exactly where he did mess up and does need to take blame- and where he doesn’t. I actually really enjoy the whole chat fuckin constantly saying “manipulation!!” as a meta thing. Because as wrong as they are- they are technically the voices inside Wilbur’s head. The ones constantly hating him and saying he was the villain. Idk just something interesting. (And pretty funny too cuz it couldn’t be intentional lol).

This is why I think that Wilbur isn’t the villain he convinced himself he was. He definitely messed up- that much is clear. And he was punished for it for 13 years!! (A long fucking time to live out your own personal hell). But in spite of that he was not a villain. The people around him were equally to blame for what happened- but he shouldered all of the blame. The line, “what if we’re the bad guys” isn’t just him saying “i’m going to make bad decisions”. It’s him saying that he is already being demonized and has decided that if he can’t stop being thought of as a villain- he’d embrace it. He decided to take the blame. To take all of the responsibility for L’Manburg’s destruction. But now, now it’s becoming clearer and clearer that that blame was horribly misplaced. He made a bad decision. But other characters got off scott free. Phil who wasn’t there for his son or didn’t want to talk him down from the panicked revelation of what he did. Dream who enabled all of Wilbur’s paranoia and fear driven actions. All the people around him saw his descent and pain and did nothing to help. They didn’t know what to do sure, but blaming him for his pain is an incredibly bad idea. And the effects on Wilbur were clear. He went for the bad decisions when he felt he could not ever be seen as anything more than a villain.

I feel like finally I’m understanding a whole lot more about Wilbur. Because beforehand everyone always was going on about how horrible he was but I never saw that?? I was always really confused because he never seemed horrible to me. He seemed sad and scared and angry. Those things don’t make a horrible person. They make a person in need of healing. Ha. Now I’m feeling very vindicated. A part of the theme of Wilbur seems to be, “bad choices do not make bad people”. And i agree. I think that sort of moral is really important for the internet culture too- in a surface way at least. I mean there are so many more layers though so I won’t reduce it to just that.

I’m really interested to see what will happen next because with all these conflicting and interwoven dynamics- the tension and conflict already being so ripe- i can only see this ending in some masterfully awesome way. Heh- leave it to cc!Wilbur to not only create something this rich with potential, but to utilize it in every perfect way.

the thing is like I'm so paranoid that this is all some massive ruse but like- it all lines up? everything wilbur says and does makes sense and is in character and it doesn't look like he's lying,, not in his mannerisms, nor what he's saying.

we knew he cared about l'manburg bc of the stare at the camarvan, we knew he didn't know about doomsday, his guilt over tommy makes sense, his guilt over tubbo makes sense, his nostalgia for l'manburg makes sense, his desire to be trusted makes sense. it all lines up with the reddit post too. it all lines up perfectly for a c!wilbur who's finally letting himself be a bit more honest, but cc!wilbur's also threading in some issues so masterfully.

cc!wilbur is setting up this massive caveat of "c!wilbur is getting better but he still views dream as his hero" and I am so excited to see how his attempt to redeem himself collides with that. he's relying on ranboo for validation, is still struggling with putting himself blocks above others (although he stepped down for tubbo today, which is improvement), the fireworks line was ominous, etc etc. but god does it feel good to be proven right.

[ID: Ten digital drawings of open fangs against a black background, with the teeth on the top in the colors of the trans pride flag, with stripes of blue, pink, white, pink, and blue, and the teeth on the bottom in the colors of the pride flag, with stripes of lavender, pink, red, orange, yellow, green, light blue, dark blue, and purple.

Each design has different text inside the mouth. Most of the text is white, but some words have been changed to other colors to add emphasis.

The text reads, in order:

"Disney wants you dead".

"Disney donates more money than you will make in your life to the conservatives who want to kill you.". The words 'more money than you will make in your life' are in dark blue, and the words, 'want to kill you' are in dark red.

"Disney's 'representation' is poisoned by the blood of those who have died, and will die because of the laws their funding helps pass".

"Disney wants trans people dead. Disney wants gay people dead. They want your money first.". The word 'trans' is in a gradient of the trans pride flag, the word 'gay' is in a gradient of the gay flag, and both of the words 'dead' are in dark red, with the word 'money' in dark blue, and the word 'first' in dark red.

"Disney is not your friend. Disney is not your ally. Disney is a corporation run by people who want you to fork over your money before they fucking kill you for being a 'crime against God'".

"Baymax will never be cute enough to bring back the dead."

"Support trans creators instead of the corporation that exploits their labor and uses the profits to fund laws that will make it legal to murder them". The words 'trans creators' are in the colors of the trans pride flag, the words 'exploits their labor' and 'uses the profits' are in dark blue, and 'to murder them' is in dark red.

"Support queer creators" and in much smaller text beneath the teeth, "not the corporations that want to kill them".

"You are worth far more than Disney will ever offer.". The word 'more' is in much larger font than the rest of the sentence.

"Pride month is over. Never let go of your rage". The word 'pride' is in rainbow colors, and the words 'never' and 'rage' are in dark red.

End ID.]

I can't put these designs on Redbubble so I am explicitly encouraging every single person who sees this post to save these files, share them wherever the absolute fuck you want, and if you're able to print them out and put them on shirts, please fucking feel free to do so. As long as you are queer or are donating the money directly to queer or homeless people, you can even fucking sell them as long as you're an individual person and not a company or corporation.

If you would like to tip me, a trans, autistic, physically disabled person who cannot fucking work, both my cashapp and venmo are "Rjalker".

You can use these as part of headers, icons, moodboards, what the fuck ever you want to do, as long as you aren't supporting Disney or other fucking hateful groups of people.

TERFs, truscum, aphobes, and other exclusionists, including mspec-lesbian exclusionists, can fuck the hell off.

This whole obsession with wheelchair users struggling on foot down the aisle at their wedding or across the stage for graduation is 100% powered by ableism.

AQUATIC SNEGLE FURY

(OPEN SPECIES BY SOKODRAWS/SOKOISTRYING)

Aquatic Snegle Fury is a Night Fury subspecies that evolved to live almost 100% of their life in the ocean.

This species evolved from Night Furies that lived at ocean shores and ate huge amounts of sea slugs that infested that part of the ocean.

They started mutating and incorporating some of the sea slug attributes into their bodies.

Aquatic Snegle Furies cannot breath underwater, but (similarly to sperm whales) can hold their breath up to 90 minutes.

They live their entire lives under water, only coming to shore to lay and look after their eggs. As soon as the eggs hatch they follow their mother to the ocean.

Aquatic Snegle Furies have quite a big variation in body shape, color, and size. While their main body shape resembles that of a typical Night Fury, their wings, tails and fins can have any shape. Some of their body parts can be partially translucent.

The often bright colors of these reef-dwelling species imply that these animals are under constant threat of predators. Because of their small size they are subject to getting eaten by bigger dragons. Still, the color can warn other animals of the fury's toxic stinging cells (nematocysts) or offensive taste.

All Aquatic Snegle Furies have razor-sharp teeth, and a pair of rhinophores—sensory primary antennas used mostly for the sense of smell — on their head. They can have any number of secondary antennas, but those only help with the feeling of ocean currents and the movement around them.

Their main source of food is small species of fish, jellyfish, bryozoans, and sea anemones.

AQUATIC SNEGLE FURY VISUAL GUIDE:

Many specimen can have the same mutation but there will never be two AS Furies with identical markings/attributes, even if they mutated from the same sea slug.

These furies are almost completely covered in scales, since they did mutate from Night Furies. Though, their bellies, throats, and the under side of their tail (closest to the belly) are only covered in thin slimy skin (similar to a frog in texture). That skin is made of toxic stinging cells.

Aquatic Snegle Fury saliva contains a batrachotoxin, which can cause reactions like swelling, nausea, and muscle paralysis, when exposed to in big quantities.

The paw pad trait will appear in all 4 limbs. The pads are sticky and help the Fury grab onto the environment when the ocean current is too strong.

Aquatic Snegle Furies don't use plasma blasts often. For one, it uses precious oxygen, but they usually don't have a need for it. They're quite a docile species.

There's no size difference based on gender. Actually — similarly to sea slugs — Aquatic Snegle Furies don't have any traits specific to gender, since the vast majority of them are hermaphrodites. Some AF Furies will be born as one specific sex (either male or female), but are capable of changing it later in their life.

THIS IS AN OPEN SPECIES, FEEL FREE TO MAKE A ASF CHARACTER BUT PLEASE FOLLOW THE SPECIES RULES

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ASF ADOPTS TO SELL FOR PROFIT

HAVE FUN :D

(if you need a resource to look for sea slug species, i highly recommend en.seaslug.world for inspo)

Spoilers cap 4 Murder Drones

MURDER DRONE EPISODE 4, THEORIES AND EXPLANATIONS.

————————————————————————————

Yeva is not Dolls “real name”, Yeva is her mom.

Doll has had her absolute solver powers for way longer than Uzi. In fact I think she’s had them from the beginning. We know for a fact that the Murder Drones had never made it inside the colony before the pilot so I am sure Doll’s parents were killed in episode 1.

It’s easy to see V is inside the building in this scene look at the ceiling. Not to mention the fact Doll was hiding behind a door/wall. Whether or not Doll’s powers were activated before episode 1 is what I’m unsure of, Doll most likely had a much closer relationship to her parents than other drones. Because we’ve seen how nonchalant their attitudes are to the death of their peers or she wouldn’t have bothered to come after V.

The possibility of Doll being close with her parents leads me to believe her folks had discussed the Absolute Solver with her before and maybe even something about the Zombie Drones.(More on the Zombie Drones later)

I definitely think that another drone could’ve given Nori and Yeva their collars if they didn’t have them before. Numbers aren’t thrown onto things willy-nilly they’re put there for a reason. Usually to keep things orderly.

“048” and “002”. So far the highest number on these collars is 48. 48. That is a HUGE number. That means between Nori and Yeva there is a chance that there are 47 MORE drones with powers like them. And it goes up to triple digits so the number might even go up to the hundreds.

I’m not saying that if there are more Absolute Solver drones that they’re alive but they did exist.

So.. wait.. Who’s number 1? Nori is “002” so someone came before her, someone that we don’t know yet was the first experiment. The first Absolute Solver drone… The first Zombie Drone even.

Maybe we’ve been classifying what Uzi is all wrong. Yes, Uzi and Doll have the Absolute Solver and after they acquired those powers they needed to start feasting on other drones to survive. Like murder drones. But now I don’t think they’re turning into Murder Drones. Something similar yes but… not exactly.

Because this fleshy, boney and terrifying thing is NOT a murder drone. From what we know JCJenson just physically altered J, V and N to make them into Murder drones. Uzi is changing, growing into this thing. And it looks natural. Well using that word loosely, maybe biological would be a better term? Because it definitely doesn’t look like metal or anything robot-like.

(Exposure and Brightness is turned up in the first image)

Ribcage, flesh and flesh. Ok. So maybe JCJenson didn’t just physically alter them. That thing that crawled out of J definitely has muscle on it.

I don’t know if her ribcage is metal or not either. I tried taking another scene where the Murder Drones get badly hurt but these just look like metal parts more then bones. Because I don’t have enough information about this I’ll be dropping it and going back to the idea that the Murder Drones are just physically altered workers.

I don’t think J, V and N lost a member of their squad while they were Murder Drones. I don’t think that drone ever became a Murder Drone. I think the drone we saw in episode 2 joining the three in the flashback was the first Zombie Drone.

These are undoubtedly the same character. Also in the first picture that’s N looking them.

Oh and what’s that in their mouth?

Oh…

OH.

That is NOT the hand of a drone. That is a HUMAN HAND AND A HUMAN ARM.

The image is blurry but there is a hat or two on the floor behind them. Probably from their unfortunate victim.

Also this drone has the Absolute Solver too, you can see this clearly if you pause on this shot.

If the J, V and N’s lost friend IS the first Zombie Drone I think that means that Uzi (and Doll) are turning into Zombie Drones too. Maybe the reason that Doll had to eat such a ridiculous amount of workers to stay alive was because it wasn’t the substance she needed and what she needed she couldn’t get. (Humans/biological life to feed off of) I think that Uzi will start eating what Doll left over and will come to realize it’s not substantial over time.

Now… What the hell did JCJenson do wrong? How did they fuck up this bad and manage to make a drone with the desire to feast on HUMAN FLESH.. *cough cough* once again I don’t have any idea or answer for this so I’m moving on.

Now… what is this place? What ties does it have to the Absolute Solver the Zombie drones and what ties do Nori, Doll and Khan have to it?

Everyone in the group of Originals technically had ties to it. But I think Nori and Yeva were involved the most.

——————————————

I can’t add any more images to this is so I’ll keep it as part 1.

To the non-English Murder Drone fans using translators here’s an image translator for my images with text in them!

I’ll Link part two here when I’m done with it. Please leave your thoughts in the reblogs or comments too!

If you support gay marriage reblog this. If you're on the homophobic side, keep scrolling.

As a bisexual, it sickens me that some people WILL keep scrolling.

If you support gay marriage reblog this. If you're on the homophobic side, keep scrolling.

As a bisexual, it sickens me that some people WILL keep scrolling.

Deltarune Chapter 2 Spoilers

Okay so people probably already know about everything that went down in SnowGrave route and that whole deal with.... Berdly. About how Noelle supposedly kills him, and how it’s highly speculated that that kills him in the real world as well because of how he seems unresponsive after waking up. 

But I want to give just a spark of hope that he’s not actually dead yet (mostly for myself lmfao), and someone may have mentioned this already but oh well- 

Basically, as far as I’ve seen, the game doesn’t announce your victory after freezing Berdly. It doesn’t say “You won!”, doesn’t give you any money, doesn’t tell you Noelle got stronger, anything. 

She just says she wants to go home, walks away, and the battle ends right there.

So maybe. Just maybe he’s only frozen in place and that’s it or something? I saw from another tumblr post that Berdly could just be frozen in place in the Real World, unable to move, or he’s simply comatose, and I feel like this small detail could also support that. 

He’s not exactly dead, just... stuck, in a way. 

Then again, the info for SnowGrave does read “Fatal”, and when other enemies are frozen in place they’re basically dead and the victory text does appear for them but.... Maybe Noelle did something? Idk, I’m just trying to be hopeful, really hhhhhhh

(Unless i’m dumb and just completely missed seeing the victory text, but I’m like 99% sure it’s not there, correct me if I’m wrong lol, but if I’m not wrong I’d also love to hear your thoughts on all this, thanks for reading)

Untitled.

i made a comic in google slides for some ungodly reason

Me and my friends have been saying how much we want to know more about splatbands and the inkpedia has barely anything other than what they play and what they look like. It's so frustrating. There are so many things that I would love to learn about in the everyday life of these inklish man.

I heard about how in Bancala Walker there was a short story about Marina and Acht and their time in the domes. And I'm gonna be 100% honest with you. It kinda makes me mad, and it really highlights a massive problem with Splatoon as a whole, and that's how it treats its stories.

(Yep I'm rambling about Splatoon's storytelling for the 500th time, welcome to my blog.)

Since Splatoon 2, the series has had a weird relationship with its storytelling, the main stories of each campaign are very simplistic and are very video game like plots. "Go get the Great Zapfish back and save Captain Cuttlefish. Go get the Great Zapfish again and find Callie. Find the thangs and get out. GO GET THE ZAPFISH AGAIN AND SAVE CAPTAIN CUTTLEFISH AGAIN!!! Climb up the tower." Splatoon 1 got away with this because it's clearly the most "tutorial" mode out of any of the single player campaigns and it doesn't really try to say any deeper messages or express a character arc.

Now, obviously video game stories must have goals for the player to work towards, I'm not complaining about that, you gotta have that stuff in games to motivate the player, however, what really drives me up a wall is when they decide to add depth and interesting things relating to the characters and world, yet they intentionally throw away that same depth and chuck it to the side. Hell they sometimes retcon the optional hard to find lore or make it more confusing just because!! If you're gonna add depth and something else to these stories, you HAVE to actually explore it and expand upon it WITHIN THE STORY! You cannot add it as "extra lore" when it's stuff that should have been in the main storyline to begin with. It's like not adding seasoning to chicken and that you boiled the fucking chicken and wrapped it in lettuce and mayonnaise.

I could obviously talk about the elephant in the room... you know... this little goober right here. This freak.

And I'm going to.

From the concept art we were given, we know that Callie was originally gonna have more exploration into her troubling mental health issues as seen by her being in the shadows and being comforted by Octarians. It's a significantly different tone compared to the final product.

However in the final game, they tossed MOST of this shit away and say in the game as well as in official media, "naw she was kidnapped and brainwashed forcefully because she's a dumb clutz lmao." They tried to backtrack with an obscure relationship chart, the sunken scrolls and Squid Sisters web prequel series, but then they backtracked AGAIN with the Splatoon 3 artbook that states that she was "brainwashed." It's an incredibly simplified and frankly insulting version of events that are TECHNICALLY canon but Nintendo and others don't treat it as such and i don't know why. I dont know why they treat Callie like this. Is it because she's silly?

Wouldn't it be more interesting and more powerful as a story if they made Callie had more control and awareness of her actions? That she was truly acting upon her mental illness and isolation? Putting DJ Octavio, the fucking funny octopus guy on the same level as Talon from Overwatch and Hydra from Marvel, the literal nazis who damaged Bucky Barnes' brain and removed all of his memories, making him into the Winter Solider, is fucking psychotic and actually insane of Nintendo to do.

There is also Acht and how they were shown between Octo Expansion and Side Order.

Some of the most powerful stories in media have strong character arcs and characters overcoming their struggles and pain. It is inspirating and incredibly real to see a loved one reach out to a person that they care about who have lost their way, either from mental illness or drugs. Trying to bring them back and help them go through their pain together. When someone is under distress and mental health troubles, they can act like a completely different person and the fact that Nintendo half assed serious topics like this and made shit WAY WORSE boils my blood to no end.

In Octo Expansion, we were told that they went under Sanitization willingly in order to remove doubts in their mind and put their all into music. Now due to the unknowns of Sanitization at the time, this made for a really interesting character and brought up a lot of interesting questions as to why they would do this and who they are.

However, in Side Order when they explained Sanitization further and told us that Acht lost all of their free will and were FORCED to make music for Tartar, it kinda damaged their story a little bit. Like sure, Acht still probably wanted to go under Sanitization to clear their doubts and remove emotion, but the added information kinda goes against the interesting story they were trying to tell with Acht. Acht doesn't even mention why they went under Sanitization in Side Order and their reasoning is only found IN A SOCIAL MEDIA POST BACK IN 2018!!! THEY DON'T RESTATE IT AT ALL WHEN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN IMPORTANT TO DO SO! They kinda tell us via their letters, but guess when you get those, IN THE POST GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This leads me to another big talking point, most of the lore is hidden and hard to find. You have to go out of your way to find most of the shit Splatoon has to offer. Sunken Scrolls are hidden collectables and most people don't wanna go through the effort of finding them all in the stages, the chat logs in Octo Expansion are completely optional due to entries being tied to specific stations and you can choose to easily skip them, the dev diaries are locked behind lockers and some people may complete Side Order in a manner where they can get to the final boss and be done with the main campaign before seeing most of the entries. Now I'm not saying that there cannot be extra lore tidbits for players to find, hell no, i love extra stuff like that, i think Splatoon 1 and 3's hero modes did a really job of that. BUT WHEN YOU HIDE AWAY IMPORTANT DETAILS LIKE CALLIE'S MOTIVATION IN SPLATOON 2 AND MARINA'S AND PEARL'S BACKSTORIES!?!? YEAH I GOT A FUCKING PROBLEM RIGHT THERE!

In other games, these would be cutscenes or a bunch of mandatory dialogue, BUT NOPE! THEY ARE IN HARD TO FIND SPOTS!

Some of the other lore details are found on social media posts and some of them are YEARS old or on Splatoon's dead Tumblr account. Most people would rather go to Inkipedia and even they can sometimes make vital mistakes or have wording that gives people the wrong idea on what happened in particular events, which heavily impacts the community and discussion. When i talk about my perspective on what happened to Callie in Splatoon 2, I've seen people say to me "wait really? Huh?! I didn't know that." The amount of research you gotta do to go into these characters is an absolute nightmare, AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE SPLATBANDS!!! Their lore is literally locked behind Japanese exclusive expensive artbooks!!! WHY?!?!

I really do wanna stress again, is it cool to get cool lore outside of the games and as collectables?! ABSOLUTELY! You know how awesome it was to read the Alterna logs for the first time? The smile on my face seeing Pearl and Marina back in the Final Fest in Side Order. But when the main stories suffer because of important information being tossed to the side and not applied to the main games... I dont know man, it just becomes incredibly frustrating to me personally. Especially with all the misconceptions and other things that occur within the community, the fandom has an information problem and honestly, it's Nintendo's fault. Imagine if Side Order had flashbacks to a younger Marina and Acht, it would have helped with the middle chunk of the story being so... nothing.

Is this really happening???

This is real life???

THANK YOU GUYS!!!!!S2S2S2S2S2S2S2S2S2

YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME AND ARE IN MY HEART TT-TT

This is really important for me.......

THANKS ONE MORE TIME!!!

Delicious \(^ヮ^)/\(^ヮ^)/\(^ヮ^)/

H A U N T E D ! ♱✮♱

in which your ex seems to be popping up in the most odd places. your dreams, the coffee shop you frequent in the mornings, your bedroom while you sleep.

summary! you broke up with simon due to his possessive and toxic nature. despite him not taking it well, a year later you believe you’re getting over it, beginning to move on to better things. that is, until, he seems to be popping up everywhere you go. he’s at your every turn, every corner, and you’re sure there’s little you can do to escape him while still having the willpower to deny the way your body calls out to him.

pairing! simon ‘ghost’ riley x chubby fem reader

warnings! 18+ smut, minors DNI. p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), creampie, degrading (use of slut, whore, and more), praise (use of angel, my love, baby), heavy dumbification, heavy stalking, toxic relationship, fingering, oral (f receiving), spanking, impact play, marking/hickey giving, absolutely filthy smut, squirting, humiliation, dubcon, heavy dacryphilia, slight bondage, heavy body worship, simon is actually unhealthily obsessed with you, no use of y/n, masturbation, mutual masturbation, manipulation, thigh riding, slight daddy kink, breeding

author’s note! sorry i haven’t posted in so long, i was scrapping for ideas and then i listened to haunted by beyoncé and came up with this. this fic is going to be my most unhinged and filthiest yet so i hope you guys enjoy!! <3 the end is kinda rushed because i want to get this out and give you guys an update but in time, i will edit it and make it better! it’s also not proofread :,)

word count! one day i’ll count, i promise :,)

you awake with a shudder, your body jolting up and immediately reacting to the same dream you’ve been having for the past year. goosebumps covered your body, but not because of the steady flow of cold air coming from your air conditioning, no.

you’d been having the same fucking sex dream of your ex since the day you left him.

you just couldn’t understand it. the dude was a prick, constantly groveling and pining for your attention, whether it be through trying to keep you away from your friends or starting arguments with you whenever you planned to go out just to keep you home. he would’ve done anything for you to be solely focused on him. he didn’t care if you were yelling at him, if you were screaming, if you occasionally slapped him whenever he got out of line, as long as you were talking to him, he was perfectly content, which was the problem. most couples saw arguments as things they didn’t want to have. they didn’t enjoy fighting, they didn’t enjoy the screaming, the crying, the yelling. but he reveled in it.

your every yell seemed to ignite a sick type of flame in him, the volume of your voice only growing louder when he’d smirk and poke and prod at you to coax a more unhinged and volatile reaction out of you. and god, you never missed the way his dick would create a tent in his pants when the frustration became too much and you began to cry. the way he bit his lip as you sobbed, the way he’d palm himself over his pants when he thought your vision was too blurred with tears to see him, how he’d say whatever mean shit was on his mind to keep you crying.

and yet, every night when you settled into bed (sometimes a bed that didn’t even belong to you), you’d have the same dream. it didn’t matter if you were alone, if you were asleep beside someone, if you’d fallen asleep at the library, your desk, or even your car, it was the same reoccurring dream.

when you first began having the dreams, you chalked it up to you just missing him. the breakup was still fresh and the sex was phenomenal, how could you not? you thought that as you moved on in your life and forgot about him, they’d just stop. but no. he plagued your mind like a goddamn disease. every time you shut your eyes, he was there, his face buried into your neck whispering nothing but dirty things into your ears as he drilled into your cunt, the sounds of skin slapping against skin and your whoreish moans echoing off every single wall of your once shared apartment.

you couldn’t forget about him even if you wanted to and it was beginning to drive you insane.

what left you on the brink between sanity and insanity, however, was when you saw him in public again for the first time. you were out getting your daily salted caramel latte, the way you had every morning for the past four years. it was early fall and you were six months post breakup, your body protected from the cool wind by a knitted white cardigan he’d bought you a few weeks before your inevitable end, and black leggings. as usual, you sat at a table, your eyes focused on your phone and occasionally flickering up when the bell at the door would chime. you smiled at the normal customers you’d grown to occasionally create small talk with but when your eyes raised and you saw him, your blood ran cold and you found yourself fumbling to the nearest bathroom to avoid him even catching a glimpse of you.

you thought it was a one off incident, brushing it off after a short-lived freak out and moving on with your life.

then you went to a club for your friend’s birthday. you were all clad in the skimpiest dresses you could find, intending to bring a guy back with you at the end of the night for drunk and meaningless sex. the purple lights of the club mixed with the one too many gin and tonic’s left your vision slightly blurry, but as you let some random man come up behind you and grab your hips, you allowed you head to fall over his shoulder and you went stiff when you noticed him sitting at the bar, beer in hand as he watched you intently. it wasn’t like he pulled his eyes away or left, no, he stared into your damn soul as this guy rutted into you from behind, making his intentions clear. what made it worse was that the fucker had the audacity to raise his hand and teasingly wave at you, mouthing the words “always told you that red was your color” after his eyes scanned your dress from head to toe.

but whatever. just another coincidence, right?

wrong!

the third time you noticed him, you were getting a little hot and heavy with some random date in an alley. his hands were grabbing at your hips, his mouth peppering hot open mouthed kisses to your neck as you moaned into the cool night air. it didn’t take long for him to slide his fingers up the slutty skirt you’d worn just for that reason and enter your cunt. sure, it was good, but there was something.. missing. sex had began feeling that way after your breakup. you could moan as loud as you wanted, you could squirm in someone else’s hold as much as you wanted, but something was always missing.

when you felt what you knew was going to be a short lived and unfulfilling climax coming on, you saw him. the brit had his hands in his pockets, leaning against the wall as he watched you with a smug smile. when your breath hitched, your date saw that as you enjoying yourself, so he continued, unaware of the man standing just a few feet away from the both of you. and it was wrong, it was so wrong, but what brought you closer to the edge was the way he watched your every movement. the way your every gasp seemed to make his smile grow caused an unexplainable pool of heat to grow in your lower stomach and you hated yourself for it.

“you close, love?” he mouthed, nodding his head to your date who was biting and sucking at your neck. when you nodded, he silently chuckled to himself, lowering his head for a moment before raising it, shrugging as he spoke. “go on then. cum for him, love.”

and you did, but not because of your date. because your ex was sat watching you cum for another man, his expression nothing short of snobby as your mouth went agape and you let out a squeal, unable to squeeze your eyes shut the way you normally did when you came because you wanted to see him, wanted to watch him as you came.

it was as if he’d ruined you for another man. he knew everything about you. you every nervous habit, your every like and dislike, how you liked to be touched. no other man knew how to touch you the way he did and it drove you insane.

you never saw him again, but he was always there. in your head, in your heart, and in your dreams.

oh, but if only you knew.

you were always just the silliest girl there was to him. to think that he’d just left you alone after he watched you cum on another man’s fingers, to think that he hadn’t been watching you long before the first time, to think he hadn’t continued watching you after the last time. you thought you’d finally gotten a grip, going out and living your life ever so fucking happily without him, and yet he still had all the control. you think he didn’t allow you to see him those three times? you think he would’ve have made himself known if he didn’t want to?

his poor sweet and naïve silly girl.

he was always there, you just couldn’t see him. he wouldn’t allow you to. not after the way you’d broken up with him when all he was trying to do was keep you to himself. was that so wrong? to not want to let something so perfect go into the big, bad world? the day you moved into your new apartment, he was sat in the lobby, newspaper just high enough to cover the lower half of his face as he watched you lug your suitcase inside. every time you walked to the nearest gas station at three a.m because you were hungry, he was sat in the shadows, his eyes following the sway of your hips and his feet following your every step. every time you went to get your morning coffee, he was sat in the furthest booth from your normal table, laptop open while his eyes watched the way you’d sometimes talk to different daily customers.

and oh, that flimsy little lock on your apartment door was too easy to get past. after you’d shut your curtains, signaling that you intended on going to sleep, he’d slip his way into your home, his footsteps light as he crept into your room, standing over you as you slept. if he got lucky, he sometimes managed to slip his hand into your panty drawer, cock in hand as he watched you sleep, sometimes in just one of his old shirts and a pair of shorts. he knew he was sick, knew that he shouldn’t be stalking you, but he couldn’t help it. you were just so pretty, so perfect, and so fucking stupid. if you weren’t going to properly protect yourself, he would just have to watch your every move and ensure that someone was still watching over you.

for the year you’ve been broken up, for 365 days, he has been with you at every point. even if you didn’t know it. he’d watched you slip one too many men in your sheets, watched you drunkenly turn the stuffed animal he’d gotten you around whenever you had company, watched you sink your fingers into your pussy whenever you needed release.

and he was just about ready to make himself known, but not yet. he wanted to watch you just a bit more, hence why he was currently sat in his car while you got into yours, eyes trained on the flimsy and thin tank top you were wearing that allowed the sun kiss your skin. it was late spring and he knew you weren’t one for modesty, hence why he’d driven closely behind you, sometimes taking a few turns to avoid detection before ending up a few cars behind yours.

while you sat in your car and grabbed the exact amount you’d need in cash, per usual, he stepped inside and perched himself in his usual spot, eyes trained on you and your tits as you smiled at the cashier and ordered your usual before sitting at your usual table. maybe if you weren’t such a sucker for routine, this wouldn’t be so easy for him.

when your friend, kelly, entered and sat across from you, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes. he didn’t like kelly. kelly talked too much, kelly was annoying, kelly always filled your pretty little head with such stupid ideas, like how he was toxic and how it was good that you left him. kelly encouraged you to go out, kelly thought it was good for you to wear such slutty and skimpy outfits out, kelly wasn’t protecting you.

“hey.” she smiled as you put your phone away and tucked it into your purse. “new club opened up a few blocks from here, wanna check it out with me?”

when you sigh, he’s hopeful that you’ve finally learned. that you’re days of being naïve and prey to the world were over.

“i’m not sure. i’ve been.. weird lately.” your voice is low, as if you’re trying to shrink away from whatever is on your mind. when kelly quirks an eyebrow, it implores you to continue speaking. “don’t say i’m crazy or anything, but i’ve been having these dreams—“

“so?” kelly snorts. “are they nightmares?”

kelly talks too much.

“no, kelly. they’re sex dreams about..” trailing off, you’ve definitely got his attention now. his eyes are trained on you as you sigh once more and lower your head, your expression one of what looks to be embarrassment. “about simon.”

aww. you’re thinkin’ ‘bout him.

how sweet.

he could feel himself smile as he watched you, the words music to his ears.

kelly groans. “not that guy. not again. do you not remember how terrible he treated you?”

kelly fills your pretty little head with stupid ideas.

“i know, i know, but still. i started having them after we broke up, but they just.. didn’t stop.” shrugging gently, you avoid eye contact with kelly, clearly not wanting to hear what she’s been saying for almost a year.

“you are too beautiful to be tied down to such an ugly person.”

he snickered to himself. ugly? sure, kelly. sure.

“you wanna forget about him? then come out with me! we’ll find you a sexy little dress, you can take someone home with you, and you’ll forget all about him!”

kelly encouraged you to go out, kelly thought it was good for you to wear such slutty and skimpy outfits out, kelly wasn’t protecting you.

“okay. i’m in.” smiling, you grab kelly’s hand as she squeals while he sighs. he’d truly thought that you’d learned. thought you’d realized something as beautiful and precious as you needed to be hidden away. thought you’d finally stopped needing him. but as usual, you proved him wrong. you still needed him. you always would, apparently.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

“kelly?” you groan, arms wrapped around your body to protect your skin from the slightly cold air. You’d went out with the girl and everything was fine and all fun until she disappeared and didn’t come back, which you wouldn’t have cared about if she was your fucking ride. of course, you had a few to drink. not enough to completely render you incomprehensible and not in your own control, but enough that you wouldn’t dare to sit behind the wheel. and it didn’t help that she had your phone as well.

so now you’re left outside the club with no concept of time, no phone, no friend, and no ride.

fucking fantastic.

“god, why am i even friends with her?” you shake your head, unable to wrap your mind around the fact that she’d just leave you here.

“pretty sure I asked you that at least 56 times when we were dating.”

when you look up to see simon, your body goes rigid and your mind is racing. how did he know you were here? why was he here? why is being so causal as if you two hadn’t talked in over a year?

“aht. It was actually 653.” he hums with the cockiest, shit-eating grin. “654 if you count you just asking.”

“go away, simon.” is the only words you’ll let fall off of your tongue. of course, your mind is filled with the usual confusion at the feel of seeing him again, but what was currently on your mind were those stupid dreams and your last few encounters. You wanted to scream at him, to ask him what he’d done that would curse you to always remember him, to ask why even after being broken up, he was stuck in your mind, but that wouldn’t do anything besides cause an argument, and you knew exactly how that would go.

“been away for almost a year, my angel. haven’t you missed me?” he takes a step forward and tilts your chin up, the frown on his face is.. genuine. like he’s actually upset that you don’t want him around, but of course you wouldn’t! he was possessive, toxic, jealous, almost borderline narcissistic, hot, caring, annoying loving and—

“no. no i haven’t.” you push his hand away from you, crossing your arms as he shakes his head. “cut me some slack, yeah, baby? i miss you.”

“well i don’t fucking miss you! i don’t miss the way you’d argue with me to keep me in the house, i don’t miss the way you’d try to tell me what to wear! i don’t miss the way you’d get mad at me if any guy even looked at me! i don’t miss the way you’d get hard and touch your fucking dick when i cried because i was so, so done with you!” you tried your best, but you ended up yelling. his audacity made you throw your want to not argue out of the window. now it was all you wanted to do. you wanted to scream at him, to make him feel like nothing but shit for what he’d done to you.

“but you don’t miss the sex? the way id fuck you into nothing but oblivion? until you couldn’t remember your own name? you don’t miss the way i’d hold you after and tell you how beautiful you were? the kisses on your head as i cleaned you up? the way id carefully re-dress you?” he hums, attempting to remind you of the very little good he did.

“none of that was worth it. it wasn’t worth the bullshit i put up with.” you grumble back to him. instead of arguing further, you find your feet stomping away from him. you had no idea where you where going, but as long as it was away from him, you couldn’t have cared any less. your feet carried you through that same alley where your date and once fingered you, sending a shiver down your spine and making you pause to look behind you. when you see he’s not there, you settle on walking home, content with the fact that he didn’t know where your apartment was and couldn’t bother you there.

at least, that’s what you think.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

“i believe we were having a conversation.”

you groan, rolling over in your bed and shoving your face deeper into your pillow, the silk duvet wrapped around you protecting your legs from the cold as you slept. you truly believed you were just having the same dream. “right there, si.” you mumbled, shifting in your sheets.

“right there, baby?” simon snickers, standing over you as you sleep peacefully. he’d overheard you saying that you’d been having dreams about him and so he put the rage he felt towards you for walking away from him aside. for the first time since he’d first found his way into your apartment, he reached his hand out and rests it on your thigh, grinning at the way you hum and relish in it. you may have hated him, but your body didn’t. “that feel good?”

the moment he puts his hand on you, you’re snapped awake. the dreams were vivid, but they’d never felt this real, hence why you shot up only to find an empty bedroom, causing you to groan and stand to your feet. “why are you fucking haunting me?” you whisper to what you think is the empty bedroom, standing in nothing but one of his old hoodies and a pair of panties, having been too tired after walking home to properly dress yourself for bed.

“because i fucking miss you.”

you’re nothing short of surprised when simon emerges from the shadows, hands shoved into his pockets and his expression nothing short of enraged.

“how’d you get—“

“shut up. i heard you talk long enough in front of that club.” he cuts you off as he strides over to you and clamps his hand over your mouth before pushing you onto your bed. “you think i like being all possessive and jealous? i wouldn’t have to be if you weren’t so fucking stupid. you’re so naive it’s a wonder how you’ve made it this far into adulthood. i took care of you, for fucks sake. made sure no one fucked with someone as pure and as innocent as you. every time i yelled at you, i was just trying to protect you. that so wrong?”

“simon-“

“i swear to god, ill gag you.” he snaps, reaching into your bedside table as he continues talking. you unsure why you’re even listening, why you’re not screaming at him to get out. “do you think it’s easy to watch you fuck other men?” he raises an eyebrow as he pulls a silk hair ribbon from your bedside table and grabs your wrists, one of his large hands managing to fit both of yours in his grip. “watch them kiss the pretty tummy i love so much? watch them miserably fail to eat the pussy i adore?” he ties your wrists together as he continues his angry rambles as he lays you down on your bed ever so gently, a contrast from his sharp and harsh words. “you’re stupid, angel. you’re the silliest girl i’ve ever met and you aren’t ready to be alone. been following you since the day you left and you still manage to make all the wrong decisions.”

“you.. you’ve been following me?” your voice is hushed, a simple and soft whisper. since the day you left, for over 365 days, he’d been following you. and for some reason, you’re not mad. you’re sat on your bed, wrists tied and simon still angrily rambling, and you aren’t mad. no.

you’re turned on.

the way he’s degrading you, his words humiliating and insulting, but you can’t deny the way it makes your cunt pulse and throb. you’re wet and you hate it. hate that your body still reacts to him like this, hate that your mind is still fixed on him, and you hate that you can’t hate him. your facade of hate and rage is crumbling quickly and you hate it. you’re unsure if it was his words from earlier, him reminding you that he wasn’t all bad that was making you rethink your decision, if it was the image of him following you around to protect you, but regardless of what it was, it was making your cunt warm and your eyes watery. your feelings were confusing and as much as you tried to act tough, you couldn’t. you crumbled completely, breaking out into soft sobs that finally made simon stop his rambling.

you felt so.. stupid. so, so stupid for ever leaving him. all he wanted to do was protect you and you failed to see it. your sobs grew louder as you succumbed to your own mind, allowing yourself to feel everything you tried to hide, including your attraction to simon who was looking at you sob, his fingers itching to touch his dick that was growing hard.

“you know i always loved it when you cried.” his voice has died down a whisper before he slaps you. “you’re an idiot. can’t believe you said all those things about me when all i wanted to do was keep you safe? how could you?” he mocks a pout, causing you to sob harder, your words incoherent as your wrists rub against the silk ribbon around them. “i’m sorry! ‘m so sorry.” you manage to choke out, which makes him click his tongue and shake his head.

“sorry’s not enough. been watching you whore around for a year. do you know how much of a dirty slut you’ve become? now i hafta ruin you all over again. make sure you remember it’s me and it’s always going to be me.” standing, he sheds his black sweatpants and sits right atop your thighs, palming himself over his boxers as he looks at you, his hand cupping your cheek and rubbing his thumb over your cheeks. “so pretty when you cry.” he hums before he slaps you, the impact causing you to sob harder and your cunt to ache for some kind of attention. “that’s my fucking girl.”

it doesn’t take long for simon to pull off his boxers, using your tears as a lubricant as he brings his hand up and down his cock while watching you closely, his smile nothing short of cocky as he slaps you once more, this time on your thigh. “you’re a fucking whore.” his voice is a whisper as he grins at you, his words so cruel and his tone so soft that all it does is make you sob harder. “had so many men in and out of this fucking apartment, so many inside of your cunt, i’m surprised it still works. you were such a good girl when i met you, but now you’re nothing but a slut.”

“no, ‘m not.. ‘m not a slut.” you hiccup. “i just..” you trail off, the words dying on your tongue and making simon mock a pout once more. “you just what? wanted to open your legs to any man who gave you attention? that’s practically the definition of a slut.” sighing, simon speeds up the movements of his hand, his soft whimpers and moans echoing in your ears as you writhe beneath him. it’s complete torture to have to sit there and watch him jerk off while you don’t get an ounce of pleasure.

“si, please.” you beg through broken sobs.

“i’m not touchin’ you, love. after all the men you’ve had, you don’t deserve me in you.” he shakes his head as you let out cry after cry, making him grow annoyed. he suddenly sits up before shoving his cock between your trembling lips. “tired of hearing you cry because of shit you’ve done. shut up and suck my dick.”

though it’s what got want, you settle for it, wrapping your lips around his length as you run the underside of your tongue up and down his shaft, your teary eyes looking up at him for his approval as he nods. “there you go. atta fuckin’ girl. just how you used to.”

it’s not long until he’s fucking your face, no care for how you’re doing as he pushes his cock in and out of your mouth, reveling in the way your spit pools down your chin and your tears slide down your cheeks. it’s all so erotic to him. after watching you for so long, dreaming about this very moment, he finally gets to live it, gets to feel your lips wrapped around him once more. “missed this pretty mouth.” he hums out before pulling away. “but i’m so disappointed in you.” he sighs, using your spit as lubricant to pump his cock. “such a stupid girl to think you could live without me.”

“simon, please.” you beg. you’re utterly humiliated and all you want is for him to bury his cock in you as you bury yours in his neck and try to forget what you’ve done. when he slaps your thigh, you jolt and let out another sob.

“whores don’t get my cock.” he growls. “but i’ll admit, i do like seeing you like this. all helpless and crying so fucking beautifully for me.” it’s odd how his demeanor changes so quickly as he moves away to press kisses to your tear-stained cheeks before moving down to your neck. “you’re wearin’ my hoodie.” simon’s voice goes soft as he pulls away, looking over the fabric he adored to see you in.

“yeah.” you sniffle.

“always looked so pretty in it.” he slightly smiles. it’s a genuine smile and simon hates that he can’t keep up his composure either. he wants to be mad at you, to call you every degrading name in the book while he forces you to sit there and watch him touch his cock, but he goes soft. he grabs your wrists, pressing his lips to yours for the first time since you’d broke up and it only further breaks through his rage and anger. he’s.. softer than you thought he would be, his lips moving in a gentle synchronization with yours as his hands slip under the hoodie, his touch sending goosebumps across the gentle skin he’s tracing soft circles on as he slips his tongue into your mouth, exploring the crevices he knows like the back of his hand before he breaks the kiss to look at you. “you’re gonna ride my thigh like the dirty fucking whore you are, yeah?” his hands moved to cup your face, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip as you nod. “atta girl.”

he allows you straddle his thigh, his hands on your hips as you sniffle and rock your hips against his thigh, wanting to complain that he hadn’t taken off your panties, but you knew this softness wouldn’t last long, so you took what you could get, finding a steady rhythm as your still ribbon tied hands were sat higher on his thigh, trying to reach for his cock before he pushed them away, giving you a warning glance that made you pout as you continued to rock against him. your anger towards him melted completely as you looked over him. despite how much time had passed, he still looked at you with love and admiration. his eyes were stuck on yours and his hands were still on your hips, gently stroking your skin in a way that made your cunt flutter as you let out a shaky sigh and lowered your head. “si..” you hum out.

“what is it, baby? what do you need?” he lifts your head and strokes your cheek.

“gonna cum.” you breathe out, squeezing your eyes shut before he slaps your thigh and you re-open them.

“no, baby. need you to wait for me, can you do that?” he’s so gentle right now, which you know is about to fade because said gentleness is what makes you cum, your climax washing over you in waves. it’s so much more intense than the ones you’ve had without him and it sends you falling into his chest, your legs shaking around him and the damp spot in your panties growing as you let out a soft cry, your body shivering when you finally come down and catch sight of his expression.

“never fuckin’ listened, did you?” he sighs, placing you back on the bed and tearing the hoodie in to, causing you to yelp. “simon! i wanted that.”

“shut up, i’ll give you another one.” he hissed as he pulls your panties and bra off. you expect him to eat you, but you’re surprised when he just.. stares at you. his eyes roam over your entire body like you’re a piece of artwork that was meant to be worshipped.

which to him, you were.

he loved every inch of your body. the way your tummy sometimes protrude through your dresses or shirts, how your thighs would rub together when you’d walk and how they’d expand when you sat down, how plush and warm you were. you were a bigger girl, but you never let it bother you. you wore what you wanted and did what you wanted without letting your weight stop you, which is what drew simon to you in the first place.

he had been at a club and he noticed you arguing with a guy for whatever reason. when the taller male began sizing you up, simon jumped in to protect you, despite not knowing you. he watched the way you immediately clung to him, continuing to yell at the guy who didn’t want to even look simon in the eye before he’d just walked off, leaving you to thank him and ask him for a drink, which is how you both hit it off. you were so confident and so sweet, all you needed was just a bit of protection, and simon became that. you became his everything from that night on. you were all he thought of, all he dreamed of, all he saw when he shut his eyes. he wanted you and that was all he would ever want. he loved you, for fuck’s sake, hence why he was so hurt.

he adored you, every inch of you, and you’d just.. left him. he worshipped you, he kissed the ground you walked on, he was obsessed with you. he always would be.

“hate how fucking pretty you are.” he sighs, leaning in close to your neck and peppering kiss after kiss on your body as his hands explore every inch of as if trying to re-familiarize himself with the way you feel in his hands. “makes it impossible to be mad at you.” when he reaches your thighs, he spends a lot of time kissing your inner thighs and grinning at the way you whimper and try to carefully buck your hips up to help him reach the area where you need him most, but all he does is move further away.

“simon.” you try to say sternly but fail, your words coming out in a distasteful whine that makes him slap your inner thigh.

“shut up and wait.” he snarls, continuing to kiss at your thighs while his thumb runs over the area he’d just slapped in an attempt to soothe it. it feels like forever before he finally begins to hover over your cunt, smiling at the warmth before pulling away and grinning wickedly at you. “gotta tell me somethin’ first.”

you groan, but look back at him. “what?”

“gotta tell me you missed me.” he hums, hands squeezing and kneading at the skin of your thighs.

“i missed you.” you groan, clearly trying to get this over with but pout when he doesn’t budge, imploring you to talk more. “simon, ive been having dreams about you since we broke up. of course i miss you.”

“really? what kind of dreams?” he feigns innocence, pretending he hadn’t overheard you at the cafe.

“the last time we had sex. for some reason, every single night and every time i fall asleep, no matter where i am, im forced to relive the last time you were buried in my cunt.” you grumble, growing embarrassed by the admission. when simon stays quiet, you find your embarrassment growing, feeling even more stupid than you already had.

but the feeling fades when he shoves his face between your legs, his tongue lapping at you eagerly, as if he’s been starved of you for far too long.

it’s then that you finally find out what you’ve been missing.

and its simon.

he’s completely ruined you for any other man. no tongue feels as good between your legs as his, no fingers curl the same way his used to, no one’s cock feels as good as his because no one is him. simon is truly the only one who can fulfill you and the thought of that mixed with the feel of him between your legs infills you with shame. you’re so disappointed that you’ve let him back into your life, your home, your legs. and yet, you feel so stupid for having walked away from him in the first place. he protected you, kept you safe. and there was nothing wrong with that. you were crazy for thinking that there was an issue with that.

“god, missed the way you taste so much.” he growls out, continuing to lap at you as his hands grab your thighs, pulling you impossibly closer. “you were always so wet f’me. did you get this wet for them?”

“no—no. never.” you shake your head. “only—nghh—you.”

“just how i like it.” he hums, pulling his lips off of your clit with a pop! “just for me. only for me.”

sitting down, he grabs your wrists and pulls you over his lap. “think i owe you a punishment for running away in the first place, don’t i?”

the punishment in question is a spanking that leaves you wracked with sobs after, all while simon told you just how dumb you were and told you what a slut you were, the words now ingrained in your mind. you felt so disgusting. like you’d betrayed simon. you were nothing but a slut, a complete idiot for leaving him.

when he helped you up, all you could do was fall into his chest, letting out different choked apologies as your hands fought against the ribbon tied around your wrists. your body was wracked with sobs as he held you close, shushing you and rubbing your bare back.

“i’m sorry, im so sorry.” you whisper. “i’m an idiot, im an idiot.”

“it’s okay. we all make mistakes, angel.” he whispered. “i forgive you.”

“need you to fuck me. please. i—i don’t want anyone else. i want you.” you look up at him with teary eyes he can’t refuse, which is why he lays you on your back and positions himself between your legs before pushing in, cooing at the feeling of your cunt re-familiarizing itself with him.

it burns slightly, the once comfortable stretch slightly burning as you squeeze your eyes shut.

“hey, hey. eyes on me.” simon hums, grabbing your chin and smiling as you look up at him. “there we go. that’s my girl.”

it doesn’t take long until he’s pounding into you, his gentle touch a stark contrast from his rough thrusts. “tell me, love, did they feel the way i do?”

“no! no, never.” you cry out, a mess of broken moans and occasionally sobs as your cunt squeezed him. you’d would’ve forgot the way he felt inside of you if it weren’t for those dreams, but having the real thing is so, so much better. you’ve missed him. you were an idiot for leaving.

when simon noticed a tear slipping down your cheek, he smiles. “what? my baby realizing how stupid she is?”

you nod at his words. “ ‘m sorry for leaving.”

“it’s okay, silly girl. i forgive you. i’ll take care of you.” he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead as he continues to pound into you. he pushes his head into your neck, immediately biting and sucking at your skin the way he used to, marking every last inch of your neck before moving down to your chest. “missed your tits so much. so heavy, so fuckin’ pretty.” his lips wrap around your nipple for a few moment before he moves to the rest of your tits, sucking and nipping wherever he could. this was part of simon’s possessive nature, every time you had sex, he made sure to mark you, to make sure other’s know that you weren’t on the market.

“you wanna be my good girl again? wanna be my pretty baby?” simon implores, raising his head and watching as you pathetically nod. “god, i’ll do anything. please.” you moan out.

“cum f’me, love.” he grins, adjusting himself to hit the spot inside of you that would make you see starts, which is what made you crumble. your legs shook and your eyes shut as you let out a cry of his name. your cunt squeezed him, wrapping around him so tightly he couldn’t pull out even if he wanted to. he watched the way your body shook his hold, the way your legs jerked, the way your eyes rolled back. “there we go, baby. there we go.” he whispers, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, slowing his thrusts to help you ride out your high before smiling. “on your knees, c’mon, baby.”

he helped you onto your hands and knees before pushing into you once more, now slapping your ass with every thrust. “my sweet and silly girl. ‘s all you needed. just a little punishment to remind you of what we had.”

“si.. ‘m close, ‘m so close.” you whine before shrieking as he slaps your ass. “you can wait. you just came. don’t be a greedy slut.”

you mutter out different apologies as simon continues. “you feel so good, so fucking wet f’me. love the way you grip me when i fuck you.”

“y-yeah?” you chuckle, entirely too fucked out to remember your embarrassment. instead, you revel in the humiliation, the shame. in a sick and twisted way, it reminds you to never leave simon again.

“mhm. so tight.” he hums, slapping your ass once again. “she missed me, didn’t she?” the she in question is your cunt that fluttered at his words.

“that answer your question?”

“sure fuckin’ did.”

his pace is brutal, hips ramming into yours as your moans echo off the wall. you make up your mind then and there. you want simon back. you need him back. it’s not that you just can’t give up the sex, you can’t give him up. he kept you safe, protected you, defended you. you needed him.

“simon, i—i need you.” you whimper out, causing him to chuckle. “i’m giving it to you, baby.”

“no, no. i need you.” you repeat, more firm in your words despite letting out a moan just a few seconds after. his pace falters, but he regains his composure, running his hand up your back. “my girl, my good girl. ‘m not goin’ anywhere. couldn’t ever leave you. not in a million years.”

“i’m so sorry, promise i won’t leave again.” your still tied hands grab at your pillow, squeezing it tightly and shoving your face into it to keep quiet, not wanting to disturb your neighbors.

“alright, baby. i trust you.” leaning down, he presses soft kisses onto your back while pushing in and out of you. “but you’re still a dirty slut, and dirty sluts don’t get to cum, do they?” his gentleness faded as he pulls your hair, forcing your head out of the pillow.

“no, daddy. no they don’t.” simon can practically hear your pout as slaps your ass. “need you do somethin’ f’me.” he lets go of your hair and grabs your phone. “call kelly.”

normally, you would’ve questioned him, told him there was no way you’d call your friend while having sex with him—the boyfriend she despised—but you didn’t care about what she would say or her opinion. you knew she’d have an entire monologue prepared, each word a lie about how terrible simon was, how toxic he was. you normally listened to those monologues and made sure you took the words to heart.

which is why kelly was surprised when she answered the phone and you told her exactly who you were fucking.

“why! why would you ever do that?! he’s—“

“kelly, shut up.” you groan. partly because simon just slapped your ass and partly because you’re annoyed with kelly. “he protects—*right there! right there!*—“ you’re cut off when simon finds that special spot, causing the words to die on your tongue as your mind goes blank. it’s as if you loose all ability to function, almost falling forward as whoreish moans and cries spill from your lips, your eyes rolling back and the slightest hint of drool trickling out of the corner of your mouth.

“she’s so pretty.” simon chuckles.

“get away from her! she was doing so good, so good without you!” kelly practically screams from the other end of the phone.

“she wants me here, kelly.” simon mocks, pushing your head into the mattress while his other hand pushes you up just a bit further, forcing his cock impossibly deeper. “tell her, baby.”

“want.. want. ‘im here.” you slur out, your eyes fluttering shut. “feels so, so fucking good.”

“don’t do this. you don’t need to do this.” kelly begs you. but her words fall on deaf ears.

“i love you, i love you.” the cock-drunken slur seems to ignite a fire inside of him that sends his hips drilling as far as he can, the head of his cock practically abusing your g-spot and sending a shriek up your throat and out from between your lips.

“god, i love you too. gonna breed this pretty pussy to keep you all to myself forever.” he growls out, smiling at the way you shriek at that and your cunt squeezed around him. “yeah? you like that idea? want me to give you a baby? watch you grow all round and take care of you when you’re pregnant?”

“don’t you fucking dare, simon.” kelly growls out. “i’m coming over.”

“no need.” simon shrugs. “she’ll be properly knocked up by then.” leaning down, simon presses a kiss to your scalp. “tell her how much you want this, how you want to be filled to the brim with my cum and round with my kid.”

“i wan’ it, i wan’ it.” you sound like an absolute whore, words barely coherent and tone full of excitement at the thought. “need it.”

“see? she wants it.” simon shrugs, grabbing your phone. “we’ll see you at the gender reveal, kelly. or not. i don’t quite like you.” he hangs up, throwing your phone back onto the bed just as your cunt begins to spasm around him.

“you gonna cum, love?” he chuckles as you nod. “good. cum with me, yeah?”

your climax washes over you the same time his does, your cunt gripping him for dear life as you cry out and grab your pillow the best you can with your hands still restricted. it’s exactly what you need and that’s made abundantly clear when you begin to coat simon, your bed, the back of your thighs, and most importantly his cock, in a clear/-ish liquid that washes away the milky white and foamy ring that formed around the base of his cock.

“gonna fill you, oh my god.” simon whimpers as his hands find your hips and grips them as he spills into your cunt, the feel of you squirting and squeezing him all too much. he gives you every last drop of him, not moving until he’s certain you’ve perfectly milked him before pulling out and replacing his cock with his index finger, fucking his cum back into you as you let out a lazy sigh.

“how you doin’ love?” he stands and enters your bathroom, grabbing a damp washcloth and carefully bringing it over your skin as he pecks your forehead. when you hum, he knows what you mean and nods. “i love you, silly girl. don’t ever leave me again.”

“i love you too.” your response is genuine as you tiredly smile at him.

sure, you’re still stuck on the fact that he’d managed to follow you around for a little over a year, but they don’t call him simon ‘ghost’ riley for no reason.

I WOVE MY WITTLE CROW BABAS AHHH!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

He feels better now

Thank you kindly my dear

Well..

Happy Halloween everyone!

“Extremely detailed character sheet template”

Character Chart Character’s full name: Reason or meaning of name: Character’s nickname: Reason for nickname: Birth date: Physical appearance Age: How old does he/she appear: Weight: Height: Body build: Shape of face: Eye color: Glasses or contacts: Skin tone: Distinguishing marks: Predominant features: Hair color: Type of hair: Hairstyle: Voice: Overall attractiveness: Physical disabilities: Usual fashion of dress: Favorite outfit: Jewelry or accessories: Personality Good personality traits: Bad personality traits: Mood character is most often in: Sense of humor: Character’s greatest joy in life: Character’s greatest fear: Why? What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Character is most at ease when: Most ill at ease when: Enraged when: Depressed or sad when: Priorities: Life philosophy: If granted one wish, it would be: Why? Character’s soft spot: Is this soft spot obvious to others? Greatest strength: Greatest vulnerability or weakness: Biggest regret: Minor regret: Biggest accomplishment: Minor accomplishment: Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: Why? Character’s darkest secret: Does anyone else know? Goals Drives and motivations: Immediate goals: Long term goals: How the character plans to accomplish these goals: How other characters will be affected: Past Hometown: Type of childhood: Pets: First memory: Most important childhood memory: Why: Childhood hero: Dream job: Education: Religion: Finances: Present Current location: Currently living with: Pets: Religion: Occupation: Finances: Family Mother: Relationship with her: Father: Relationship with him: Siblings: Relationship with them: Spouse: Relationship with him/her: Children: Relationship with them: Other important family members: Favorites Color: Least favorite color: Music: Food: Literature: Form of entertainment: Expressions: Mode of transportation: Most prized possession: Habits Hobbies: Plays a musical instrument? Plays a sport? How he/she would spend a rainy day: Spending habits: Smokes: Drinks: Other drugs: What does he/she do too much of? What does he/she do too little of? Extremely skilled at: Extremely unskilled at: Nervous tics: Usual body posture: Mannerisms: Peculiarities: Traits Optimist or pessimist? Introvert or extrovert? Daredevil or cautious? Logical or emotional? Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Prefers working or relaxing? Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Animal lover? Self-perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: One word the character would use to describe self: One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? How does the character think others perceive him/her: What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Person character most hates: Best friend(s): Love interest(s): Person character goes to for advice: Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Person character feels shy or awkward around: Person character openly admires: Person character secretly admires: Most important person in character’s life before story starts: After story starts:

found here