Kenyan - Blog Posts

Those freaks…

I saw the original on Pinterest, but the @ was too blurry to see, sry.

I saved a bunch of memes, and if I stay in the mood I’ll make them ✌🏽

(I forgot to make her halo 😭😭😭)

I guess I found voices for them 👍🏽 the first song of each playlist is their voices

Sylris’s playlist is not organized yet cuz I don’t know half of the songs there, I just thought the vibe and lyrics matched him. It’s so hard to find songs that speaks about him 😞

That one meme, but they’re deranged 🫶🏽

Quality Time

Behold! The drawing that almost gave me a heart attack ❤️ despite the problems, it finished fine and I loved the result 🤙🏽

In case you don’t recognize, the boy is Seth, from In My Hands (Ashes AU, idk if this name is good, help), and the doctors are Sylris and Kenyan. Mostly, Sylris does all the stuff, and Kenyan is there as a support for them.

Seth has his hashtag now, if you want to check it out.

Seth Yaneh

From the modern AU (or a new story, I’m thinking about the name).

He is Kenyan’s and Sylris’s child, but not in the traditional way. They kinda rescued (kidnapped?……) him from a death scene, but Sylris went a bit too far on his cure. Let’s say he literally reset the kid and “programmed” him into believing they’re his parents.

They slay at parenting, don’t they? ☺️ /jk

Below, the moment Sylris first met him (cw: blood, abuse, death?)

Seth doesn’t remember about it, and he also doesn’t know how was his life before. Sylris has an idea of how it was after searching on it, but chose to not mention it to anyone. It’s like he deleted that child and created a new one: their precious son, Seth.

Hear me out. Modern AU, a whole new story with Kenyan and Sylris. (I have the concept, but it’s hard to write the narrative 😞 so stay with the tale)

They are famous in the medicine world for their breakthroughs in neurological subjects. Kenyan is a chemist now, but she met Sylris in their medicine college. She realized it wasn’t her thing and changed to chemistry, as Sylris specialized in surgeries. In this meantime, they got married, and soon they noticed Kenyan was barren.

Sylris got a bit ahead with his skills of “giving life to people” through his surgeries, and developed a crazy god-complex, in which he believes they’re gods and should be even more superior. Immortality, he thinks first, and secondly he plans to create life. A new human. Theirs only.

Kenyan hated the idea because Sylris was experimenting on orphan-homeless children, but he justified it saying he was saving them from a worst fate. And then, to diminish the possibility of their death, Kenyan started helping him. So, they kept the experiments, changing defective organs, replacing memories, resetting a human until they weren’t a person but just a body.

This last boy worked. Kenyan learned to be attached to him, to call him son despite everything. Their son, their chosen one, their Seth. He wasn’t very responsive in the start—Sylris messed his brain a tad much—but Kenyan was patient with him. She read him books, taught him about the world, helped him to move… until he got better. He was quiet, but they knew he could talk, play, question, laugh, call her mum. Their miracle child, Seth.

But they knew they couldn’t show him to the world yet. How could they explain it? Kenyan didn’t want to say he was adopted, because he was hers. So instead of admitting his wrong existence, they kept him hidden on their home. That’s it, until a young brilliant girl asks to come over.

She was the niece of a friend from work, getting on the chemical field and wanting to meet her idol. Kenyan could’ve said no, but doing so would make it feel like they were hiding something—and they were—, but the world couldn’t know it. So there was Émile going to their home with Seth hidden in the basement lab.

(I’m gonna write the rest later, I’m lazy right now 🤙🏽)

Drowning in You

A not-friendly reminder that Sylris isn’t there just to play house.

Keny Yaneh

Kenyan is the best of both worlds; try to change my mind. She’s gorgeous as a woman, gorgeous as a man, bet she’s gorgeous even as a worm.

In case you don’t know her yet, here she is:

(AAAAAAAAAAASOPRETTYAAAAAAAAAAAA)

As One

I was really doubtful about if I should post it or not, but they’re married, it’s not showing anything more, so it’s fine. (I have a faith, I worry about sin 🫶🏽)

Kenyan and Sylris again, cuz why not, right? I like them very much, no matter the universe they are. And I guess this is the best kiss I ever drew lol.

Random sketches of modern Kenyan. I like this AU so much cuz her personality is more intense on it. Reckless, still, but it’s better than living like a zombie everyday.

Modern AU

It’s a “what if Kenyan and Sylris were from Earth”.

It’s canon they are very smart and know a lot about chemistry and medicine. Canonically, Kenyan uses this knowledge to make drugs/medicines and Sylris uses his knowledge to shapeshift.

Now in this AU, they got very famous with their discoveries, working together for the improvement of world health. They’re obviously rich, and have anything they want.

Ethan grew up in this great environment, but he feels lonely ‘cause his parents don’t have time for him, so he spends more time at Sam’s house than at his own.

Kenyan still has addiction issues; she works more than she should to don’t worry about her problems. Sylris keeps complaining that she should be an example instead of destroying her life like that, but she doesn’t care at all 💞

I don’t know about Oscar’s categories and medical stuff, but I guess they would find a cure for something rare and important, like something in the brain.

(They’re very gorgeous omg. IOMK)

(I never got high, just so you know. Don’t use drugs kids, Jesus feels better than it 🤙🏽)

CW: addiction, drugs, suicidal thoughts

AO3

< Previous Chapter

Shine

Sylris was right— again: punishing herself wouldn’t change the tragedy. If she had to do something, she should fight against his control and get herself back; luckily throwing him in flames by the end.

But she didn’t have the will to move, and this was crystal clear. She wasn’t that strong. She wasn’t that smart. She could never.

So if her options were to suffer consciously or unconsciously… she was back to the garden, to the quietest place on this planet. It was Nixulon time, and the nixies kindly built her a glowing path in the darkness. Other than this, all she could see was the pitch black engulfing everything.

Her steps weren’t hesitant, though; her skin worked like a sonar for her, warning when the humid air stopped hitting her. It meant a barrier was in front, and also that she arrived at her destiny.

She crouched carefully, until her knees were scraping at the wood, fixed her dress, and sat at the wet grass.

Then, she breathed.

Inhaling, holding, exhaling; trying to settle her mind down, trying to subdue the storm inside her. It was unrelenting, and she couldn't get a blink of sleep all night because of the truthful comments from her victims—their ghosts, actually.

She was almost convinced to set her room on fire. Another second in that place, and she would have.

But, silly as it was, what made her reconsider the action was the big panda on her table, the one brought by the “intruder”. She knew it was staring at her. As if waiting to see if she would be that stupid to fire everything.

Nobody found information about them, and the guards (coughcough Hiélo coughcough) said it might be dangerous, yet Kenyan still believed it was just a well played trick, and kept the panda to herself.

It had been useful for her, after all. It held her from going astray when she had to keep watch on Sylris. She knew that if she died, Hiélo and Ethan would be his new targets, and that’s why she had a vial on her hand, a syringe in the other.

Her tongue was heavy as she fiddled the plunger with her broken nail. It didn't make the slightest difference if she had her eyes closed or opened, such was the darkness, and there she was, planning to insert a needle on herself.

Argh, just what was she thinking?

She shouldn’t be doing that. She should be in bed. She should be inside.

The high she was about to get was pleasant, relaxing; but too volatile. She never knew if it would end peacefully, or if she’d get in a coma for days.

But if she doesn’t do something soon, she will truly go mad at any time. Three days up was irking her, and she couldn’t stand the feeling that someone was watching her all day. Objects were moving on their own, the walls were noisy, the words were walking in the documents, she was jittery than normal... Sylris himself asked if she was fine, and did her work in her stead.

So she had to do it. She needed to relax somehow.

Even if she promised them she wouldn’t do it anymore.

…

…Hiélo should have expected she’s not good at keeping promises.

She swallowed dry, and blindly inserted the needle on the vial, pulling the liquid inside, when it occurred to her: how would she measure the dose in the dark?

She could only hope her muscular memory would get the right amount.

…

Oh great evil, that was the worst idea she ever had. Couldn’t she wait some minutes until Nixulon went away? Until Divulon appeared?

No.

No.

If she extended it any longer, Hiélo would find her and stop that immediately. That's just who he is: too worried about her health, worried that she would get an overdose again, bothering her with thoughts about her actions, bothering her with thoughts about Ethan.

“How do you think he would react if he saw his mother like this? Would you be fine if it was your mother trying to kill herself?!”

“Ah, I don’t have to worry about it, Hiélo, because she’s way too dead by my own hands!”

She bit her lower lip and held the syringe firmer between her fingers.

She wouldn’t die. She still had things to pay for. This time she wouldn’t mess up, because she has to be awake later. Otherwise, she had it too easy on her life, and that was wrong.

C’mon, Kenyan.

She tried the syringe, standing her thumb over the needle to check if it was dripping. After the air was released, she brushed the crook of her elbow, feeling her hurried blood under her skin. Only then, she positioned the needle.

Curse it.

She was shaking.

Her eyes closed and she breathed deeply. Once again she did it. And once more, she couldn't calm her heart; her pulse was hammering in her ears. But if she didn't do it now, she never would. And she had to. She had to.

And maybe, a chance in a million, she could have the luck to don’t wake up anymore.

The needle slid in. A sharp breath. The familiar coldness rushed through her, creeping under her skin like a second bloodstream.

It didn't take long to disarm her muscles on the spot. Her lips and fingers tingled as the syringe slipped down like butter to the ground, and soon after, she was the one hitting the grass.

Holy sky. Spinning was wild.

Her lungs relaxed with the sudden lack of tension, and the oxygen got in so easily. Fresh, light, clean… did somebody turn on a purifier in the air? Her nose was very grateful.

However, her heart was having a hard time pumping blood around her body. Her heartbeats were fluctuating in weird places like her feet? It was also deafening her, shouting “Too bad! Too bad! Too bad!” like a cuckoo. Maybe it didn't like the “intruder”, just like nobody liked her intruder.

Much impolite of them, in her opinion.

Both intruders were nice to her. She was doing just fine with them, and wasn't disposed to shove them away just because a certain immunological system was displeased with it. Rot in mud, everyone displeased with it. She was fine. She would be.

A long sigh left her as a faint copper taste immersed on her tongue (her tongue? Did she have a tongue?). Very metallic, very common, very good. It was awesome. It meant she was drifting off. Niiiiiiiiiiiiice. Nice.

Nice.

Terrifyingly nice.

But… what was Sylris doing there?

Echoes of steps were approaching at the worst moment ever, but, fortunately, it wasn't Hiélo. His steps were heavy and careful. Now these steps were fast and jumpy, much more fitting of… of… Sylris… Sylris?

No, wait.

‘Sylris’ and ‘jumpy’ in the same sentence?

“You came to visit me!” A laugh sang clearly behind her. “I thought we'd never talk again; you disappeared for days, Keny!”

Her eyes hazily opened to see who it was and—cosmos!—, the shiny person was in front of her, shinier than ever, brighter than a lamp, standing on the black like a painting.

“I was getting bored, you know? Don't leave me alone with these untalkable Nixies! I don't know how to sign Nixian yet.” They were already lying beside her, smiling so wide she thought their cheeks would get stretched forever. “You can do it fluently, right? Could you teach me?!”

Kenyan blinked multiple times, and moved her hand to touch them. At least, that was the intention, but her fingers only twitched weakly in place.

They frowned slightly at her, as if just noticing her state, then slapped their forehead. “Ahhh, dumb me! It’s late; you were trying to sleep, right? Sorry for bothering, you can sleep now.” And they shut their eyes while keeping a smile on their face.

…was she supposed to sleep now, when they finally were there? She had questions, no desire to sleep! But her tongue was heavy, her lips, numb, and her mind couldn’t form a single coherent phrase to even start.

Ugh, appeared didn’t they early why? Were who they? Their what name was? Doing they what were here?

She tried organizing her thoughts, but nothing right was coming. These weren’t the things she wanted to ask, were they? It felt too serious and intrusive. Couldn’t she say what she really wanted to say? What she really was thinking?

“Hm? The panda?”

Their gaze turned to her like crescent moons, expecting she’d elaborate about it but… did she say something? She didn’t quite notice it…

“What?! Did you like the gift?!” They gripped her hand and kicked their feet, screaming repressed. “Yay! I’m so glad you did! I know you don’t like being alone, so I thought he’d be a nice companion for you when I wasn’t around! Ah—“ they gasped, “alas, why didn’t you come here earlier?!”

Why she didn’t?… But she did went there. Many times, different hours of the day, alone, with Hiélo, with Sylris… she tried everything, yet they weren’t there at all.

Her lips parted voiceless, trying to complain, but it only moved uncoordinated. At this point, a baby could communicate better than her. Insufferable!

“Uh, what did you say?” They pouted, thinking, then their eyes lightened up. “Ah, no! I don’t live in your head! Did you think I wasn’t real?” They laughed and put her hair out of her face. “I couldn’t be touching you if I was a… I don’t know, a hallucination? Did you think your wonderful brain would spend time creating a hallucination like me?! I’m flattered, but no! I am a hundred percent real, Keny!”

Her body trembled with their touch again. Too comfy and fluid, electrifying her nerves with soft discharges. She had felt touches from her hallucinations, but they never were gentle as theirs. As they said, her mind only had the capacity to create morally questionable stuff, and it wouldn’t be able to come up with such a nice person.

So what were they? Why couldn’t anyone see them? Why only her? Why only sometimes?

“Dude, it’s complicated.”

And how were they guessing her questions correctly?!

They giggled. “I didn’t mean to… read your mind? I can’t hear anything all the time—I swear!” Their hand laid on the grass. “It’s just that your intentions towards me are pretty blatant right now. I can, literally, feel them around me.” They gestured up frantically. “Like, waves? Lines? It’s confusing to explain, sorry! But I swear I’m not a bad person! I won’t use your thoughts for THE EVIL!” They roughed their voice villainously before blurting in laughter.

They weren’t bad?

That thought didn’t even cross her mind. This joyful, happy soul could never be evil. She was sure since the beginning they were… pure, in the most literal meaning of the word. Just pure.

Odd. She was smiling, but why?

When they stopped laughing, sweeping a tear out their eyes (by the way, what was so fun?), they rolled closer to her and held both her hands together. Their hands were feather light around hers, and their breath was warm against her face.

Why were they so close?

“Next time you want to talk, just call me, okay?”

“You?” she whispered.

“Me. Not you; call me. Me, me.”

She frowned slightly. “Why not… name?”

“Let’s say I have too many names and don’t know which to stick with.” They chuckled. “Just call me, and I’ll come no matter what, okay?”

“Okay.”

She agreed way too fast. Why wasn’t she questioning this weird person?

They smiled and hovered their hand over her eyes, making them close. “You should sleep for real. Rest a lot. I’ll keep here as you do, so don’t worry about being found or anything. You’re safe with me, Keny.”

It was like a spell.

She felt sleepy at the same moment, barely nodding before her conscience flew away.

Here, thinking about Kenyan’s state in the main story.

I need to decide if she’ll be still fighting or if she gave up already, cuz it’ll change A LOT of the story.

If she’s fighting:

She has no idea Ethan is in Martra.

Ethan will see her for the first time in an execution and she’ll look away

She’ll fight Sylris to know wth Ethan is doing there

She won’t know how to react if Ethan tries to talk to her personally

She won’t tell him the whole truth, afraid of burdening him with the problems she has been protecting him from.

Ethan will get mad at her, but will notice something is wrong

Hiélo will be there to explain things to Ethan

Ethan will try to save his mum, etc etc etc… next things are too much spoiler

Now, if she gave up:

She’ll ask Sylris to bring Ethan to Martra, so they can stay in family

She probably won’t be holding executions now that she knows he’s somewhere in Martra ☠️

She’ll look for him hard, and Behati will think Ethan is some kind of wanted criminal

Ethan is taken to the castle and “WOAH, MUM?!” and Kenyan will cry hard while hugging him

Sylris will be the utmost example of a great father, trust him

Kenyan will try to explain everything, but telling a filtered story where things don’t sound as bad as it was

Kenyan and Sylris will fight about whether revealing him as their son or not (Maivtre shouldn’t have a male child)

Sylris finds a way to make it valid and kinda forces Ethan to accept it

Ethan feels overwhelmed, etc etc etc… I don’t know what would happen next lmao

The first idea is in my mind since some time, but the second might be good too cuz it might confuse Ethan more. “What? My mum left me just to stay with my father?! And the reason she didn’t take me with her was ‘because it was too far away and in a strange/dangerous world’????”

THE POOR GUY JUST KNOWS SUFFERING

CW: abuse, gore?, description of burning death

AO3

< Previous Chapter

> Next Chapter

Sunburn

“Ah… I wish you had found your new friend.” Sylris smiled and placed his crown on a pillow. “The imaginary intruder should be on the stacks too, don’t you think so? They were very disrespectful at us, my dear.”

Kenyan didn’t bother to answer, as she was busy trying to take off her rings, what at the moment seemed like an impossible task. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking and her body was burning inside out.

Burning almost as much as she had burned those people.

The difference between them and her was in their innocence. They were people who begged for food. People who ran from a slavish job. People who fought to protect their family. People who denounced an injustice.

And she was a murder wearing a lavish long gown. Pampered by all, adorned with jewelry; an elegant example of holiness and grace to Martra.

Her nail bent over and she hissed. Blood was simmering from there, dripping down on the white skirt, and all she could do was stare at it. Stare at the red blur, at least, as her trembling wouldn’t let her focus on anything.

It was deeply awful. Herself, she meant. She was awful. She should be dead with them. Or better saying, they should be alive, and she should suffer the worst death in this world. That was all she deserved.

“Hurting yourself already?”

Sylris came from behind when she noticed his hand holding hers. His other hand had fell on her waist, keeping her close to him on this embrace.

“You know this won’t change anything, right?” he whispered against her pointy ear. “Hurt yourself or no, they’re still dead. Unmoving, unchangeable, permanent: that’s what death is. That’s what you did, my love.” He took her hand to his lips, and kissed her fingers, one by one.

His voice was nauseating. His words made her skin crawl. His kisses were poison. And his hands? Treacherous, horrendous hands? Always knew where to touch, where to press, where to hold.

He had slid his arm around her belly, and her body faltered slightly over his. She shivered as her unsteady heart went out of control.

What kind of personal betrayal was it? How could her body lean upon the evil she despised the most? How could she feel anything other than hatred for this nasty creature?

But perhaps a monster called for a monster. Her other half would be like her half.

It was only fair.

Even so, she’d rather be alone forever than staying with him.

“Let me go, I’m tired,” she muttered. “I need to rest in my chambers.”

“Why not in mine? You’re shaking so much; it wouldn’t hurt to have someone to hold you, would it, love?” He turned her over, keeping them face to face. “Or are you thinking about staying with your pet at this time of night?” He smirked.

“He’s not my pet,” came the automatic answer. However, her throat tightened at the thought.

After their discussion, Hiélo came to say sorry a thousand times. His ears were flat, his tail dull, and hearing his voice cracking gnawed at her conscience; which led her to accept his apologies. But, honestly? She didn’t want to. For some reason, she only wanted to be mad at him a little longer. She only wanted to have time to organize her feelings and find a proper reason to forgive him.

But since when did she have a choice? How could she be mad at the person who was trying to love her despite her actions?

She swallowed dry. “Hiélo won’t be there, I promise. I won’t call him.” She slowly took his hands off her. “I want to rest alone; is there a problem with it?”

His eyes scrutinized her wholly. It felt like being under a predator gaze, waiting to be devoured at each minute, counting the last seconds of her life— but then he let go of her waist.

“No, there is not. You can go ahead.” His hand lifted her chin softly. “Ask a maid to help you with the rings, okay? I don’t want to see my wife fingerless.” He chuckled and his face approached hers.

The knot on her stomach increased as she knew what was happening. Knowing didn’t make it the slightest better, so she shut her eyes and counted to five for what seemed an eternity. A hot, burning eternity. Hell itself.

Curse her head for getting lighter.

When he broke the kiss with that grin of his, she didn’t stay a second to hear him. Nothing good could come of that mouth, and she kept repeating it for herself as she stormed on the empty halls.

The heat was unbearably clinging to her, suffocating her lungs and expeling the oxygen left on her. And the tricky part of it? She could stop it, if she wanted. Her spiky halo was lightening the environment, and it was the blatant proof that her powers were acting over something, over herself. Warming, heating, burning until her head was spinning, until her gut was churning, until her skin began swelling.

And they had it worse. They didn’t have time to dwell in a little dizziness.

It was pure torture. Flesh tearing apart, splitting, and shearing from the bones; fire crackling and screams breaking through the space; the stench of coal and smoke flying in the sky… until there was nothing left to see—not even their ashes.

That was the power she held. That was the sin she carried.

Her insides unraveled midway her room, throwing up the contents of her stomach on a corner. She gagged and cried as her body fell its temperature, taking advantage of the unease to finally turn her furnace off.

Really, how could someone live like this? How could someone like her still be alive? Just who allowed her existence in this world?!

She should be dead. She should be dead. She. Should. Be. Dead.

But as she wasn’t, she raised from her place and stumbled forward.

Mizan

I won’t say the translation, sry. It’s a scene from that short story/fic I’m writing with Kenyan and a self-insert character. AO3

For some reason, I don’t imagine this character the way I actually am. I imagine them blond, short hair, greek-like clothes (? First drawing). But drawing them that way was too off from how I look, so I drew them like that (Second drawing) which is still nothing like me, but at least they look like I wanted to look

And they’re hotter now. Haha!

(I love the nixies. I wanted to “talk” nixian with them)

AO3

< Previous chapter

> Next Chapter

Heated

They weren’t there anymore.

Kenyan searched the garden upside down, the castle, the forest, the city… but nobody saw them. Sure, her description of them wasn’t the greatest, but people had to notice that glowing person. They weren’t someone you glance at only once; they were like a magnet attracting her, and it should have happened with everyone else, too.

So where could they have gone?

She even wondered if they were an image from her mind, but, as far as she knew, hallucinations don’t act like they did:

An intruder broke the castle’s window yesterday, messed up Sylris’s chambers, stole food from the kitchen, cleaned her chambers, and put a big stuffed panda on her bed.

And nobody, not even Hiélo who was in her room, heard or saw anything while it happened. The only witness of the supposed “intruder” was her, Kenyan, when she was high, sleep-deprived, and with loss of blood.

It couldn’t have happened for real. They weren’t real. What she saw wasn’t an intruder. They even claimed the garden their home! What kind of intruder would be this bold at Maivtre? And the guards also searched for them in the garden, asked the Nixies if they noticed something and… nothing.

They had to be a figment of her imagination. A self-relief her brain came up with, that somehow worked.

Last night she fell in a deep slumber while hugging that panda (Hiélo said she threatened to set fire on him if he tried to take it), and that was far the best sleep she had in years. No dreams, no nightmares, no interruptions… just a full eight hours of rest. The migraine and nausea still came when she woke up, but that was common. She couldn’t have asked for anything better! Her mind was useful for once!

But even after being sure that person was something she invented, there she was in the garden, crouched by the flowers and signing to a group of Nixies.

Person. Light. There. Me. ?

And they shook their heads, no. Kenyan frowned slightly and tried again.

Walking. Jumping. Happy. Here. Home. ?

And they shook their heads, no. Also, one flew to Kenyan’s head, touched her forehead and dragged their tiny hands down her face. After staring at her, the nixie flattened their wings.

“You’re getting crazy. You were falling apart. Are you okay?”

She huffed and got up, quickly signing a “fine” for them.

“I told you,” the rough voice sounded behind her. “Nobody saw the intruder.”

“Yes, Élo, thank you for pointing out the obvious,” she replied harsher than expected.

His eyes squinted at her as they walked towards the tree. It was enormous, providing the same shadow she had used yesterday. The same shadow she shared with them. Right there. Where she felt them, their warmth, their excitement, and their happiness for being with her.

Could you imagine it? Even Kenyan herself couldn’t stand her presence, and someone, something, actually liked her!

“Kenyan, do you seriously don’t remember anything about their appearance? Gender? Voice?”

She sighed hard, rolling her eyes before turning at him.

“Why would I lie about it?” Her eyebrows raised. “Haven’t I been searching for them as well?!”

“How can I know what’s going on in your mind?” He crossed his arms. “They got you a teddy bear; how can I know if you aren’t keeping them hidden because of it?”

She flinched with the sharp pain on her head.

“Please, Hiélo, I might be a menace, but I am not reckless about this kingdom.” Her face scrunched. “If you think I can’t distinguish between safe and dangerous, you might as well have a problem with your mind.”

His jaw clenched as his tail lashed back and forth. Then, looking away, he pursed his lips. Avoiding talking to her. Avoiding her.

It was dizzying.

“Say it,” she demanded. “Now, while I’m listening.”

“…it’s not relevant.”

“I decide what’s relevant. Say it.”

He looked at her in that same reprimanding way. As if he was her father. As if she was a brat. As if he knew better than her.

“Look, I don’t want to offend you, but all you have been doing are dangerous and reckless things.”

“Ah, is that so? Thank you for pointing out the obvious.” She closed her hands on fists as her chest rose and fell. “I am aware of my dangerous and reckless behavior, General, and despite everything, I am still the Maivtre of this nation. I care about my people. I’ve been doing what I can to bear this burden, and I won’t doom it all over a teddy bear, as you swiftly placed in your statement.”

His eyes softened and her body tensed, shaking in disbelief.

“Kenyan, you know this isn’t what I said…” He reached for her hand, unclenching her fingers carefully. “I’m sorry if it sounded like that, I won’t ask again. Could you sit down and breathe slowly? Your head will get better if you do.”

There it goes. Hiélo, the white knight, and Kenyan, the poor queen.

Kenyan this! Kenyan that! Kenyan should! Kenyan could! Kenyan’s dumb! Kenyan’s wrong!

When will they stop treating her like a fool?

She shoved his hand away and paced back. “Keep guard from the outside. I’ll stay here for longer.”

“But you’re not fine, you should call the doct—“

“Yes, cause of my migraine, I am aware!” She glared at him. “Get out!”

He looked hurt at her, but she was already approaching the tree, finding that comforting spot amidst the roots. When she sat, he was marching at the door, and the place finally got its quietude back.

Her head leaned against the tree, and she breathed in, trying to control her heart. That unending pain was shattering her sanity, and the lack of answers wasn’t helping.

If that person was there, would they help her to calm?

No, but who in the cosmos could they be? A single day they appeared, and everything was messed up that much. A single day, and half the castle hates them. A single day, and they got her obsessed with them.

And they weren’t even real, were they? They came from her fractured soul.

So why couldn’t she summon them when she needed? Why wouldn’t they appear now? Why can’t they hear her crying?

A random, self-insert story. Idk if I’ll continue it.

Just so you know, the inserted character acts nothing like me (they’re too extrovert), but they act in the way I wanted to act if I met her. Anyway, it’s just a silly and fun story that I wanted to write a lot. AO3

> Next chapter

Ray

It happened in a joyful day.

The garden was livid, full of flowers and colorful Nixies. A breeze flowed through, making the leaves dance on air, bringing a sense of calm in the disturbed mind who walked by.

It was impossible to don’t get mesmerized by her flaming hair. Crimson and wild, it seemed like fire itself. Her slim legs paced slowly in the grass, and the Nixies hurried to check out the bloody bandages. These were around her legs, arms and neck, but the woman seemed unbothered.

Instead, her face was hollow. The bags under her eyes told a tale, and her cracked lips continued it. Clouds could be seen in her red irises, simmering over dilated pupils that were focused beyond; far beyond from there.

For a moment, they looked up and noticed the tree over her. Its shadow was solid, protecting her frail skin from the sun.

It was perfect, truly.

Her legs immediately faltered and she fell over the roots. It was quite uncomfortable, but did it matter? She had been in worse conditions and yet, there she was, still alive. So she stayed there, eyes closed, with a pulsing numbness hovering in her body.

She did take more than the normal. She had to. They were so insistent... their voices, pleas and screams. They had crawled under her skin —thus the wounds on her body—, but no longer.

All she could hear were whispers slipping past like sand. The words were feeble, and she couldn’t make out their meanings. She didn’t want to. Didn’t care to.

Some would call it madness.

Peace, she named it.

There was nothing like the pure state of silence and unconsciousness. Fleeting memories would come and leave, no thoughts were required, and the outer world wouldn’t reach her.

For this reason, she frowned at the new stimulus from outside her mind.

“Hellooo,” hummed serene. “Are you fine?”

Goosebumps surged from the stroke on her cheek. So gentle, so sweet, barely touching her. It didn’t felt like Hiélo’s or Sylris’s. It was more… refreshing.

Kenyan opened her eyes and the world around was spinning. Everything was blurred and abstract, except the person in front of her.

“So you are alive!” They smiled and tilted their head. “You got me worried for a sec’, you know?”

Their voice settled in her ears, feeling like a massage in her brain. Soothing, relaxed, warm… she never heard anything like that, did she?

And their face was a sight. Radiant and beautiful, youthful in the tender light. They looked happy. Complete.

When and how did she kill them?

She stared and stared, watching as they accommodated themselves laid in the fresh grass. Their eyes shone at her, as if waiting for something.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I don’t remember you.”

“Of course you don’t, it’s the first time we met.” They giggled and held her hand. “Though I know you, Kenyan. You’re so awesome! I’ve always wanted to talk to you like this.”

She didn’t held their hand back. Not because she didn’t want, but because she didn’t have strength to. Somehow, the person seemed to know it.

“What are you doing here?” they asked.

Running. Escaping. Hiding.

“Resting,” she answered.

“Hmm, your garden is very beautiful, indeed a wonderful place to rest.” They nodded and then gasped. “Can I live here?! I promise to take care of everything while you’re out!”

Live there?

“Why?”

“Because it’s great, and I get to see you!” Their eyes smiled. “Will you come to visit me often?”

She blinked and her finger twitched. Who was that daring person? She didn’t say they could live there, but they’re asking if she’ll visit them. She never saw their face, but they talk as if they were long friends. How so shameless? How so casual? How so nice?

“Okay, I will.”

“Yey!” They cheered and got up in a jump. “You’re the best, Kenyan! See you soon, your love is coming to get you!”

And just like that, they left like they appeared.

…what was it? A spirit, a ghost or hallucination?

She didn’t even ask their name. So rude of her…

They said her love was coming; did they mean Sylris? People trust his words more than rumors, and he said so convincingly that they were deeply in love… yuck.

But for her surprise, the arms who held her weren’t Sylris. Even in her sick state, she knew it was Hiélo. Her love.

How did they know it?

Straining her eyes, she glanced at Hiélo who was visibly worried, carrying her to somewhere. He was rushing. So cute.

“Élo, did you see someone in the garden?…”

His ears twitched. “What did you say?”

“Short…” she mumbled half-awaken, half-asleep, “shiny, shameless, sheepish…” she chuckled. “Why am I ‘sh-ing’ everything?”

“Focus, Kenyan!” He held her slightly tighter. “Was somebody with you?!”

“I don’t know. They said they were gonna live there. It’s their home. Don’t shove them away.”

“Oh great evil...” He frowned and barked at the other guards, saying a lot of orders, but she wasn’t hearing anymore.

Her mind faltered beyond; far beyond from there. To where the person was. To when she was going to see them again.

She couldn’t wait for it.

Sylris is such a weird man. He’s the bad guy, but he doesn’t need to use brute force to get what he wants—he just talks. And the most impressive thing? He NEVER lies! It’s something he decided to do, and somehow everything he says is the truth. Maybe part of the truth, maybe the truth of a single perspective, a twisted and sick truth, but still, a truth. (“The people hate you”, “Ethan is safer away from here”, “Hiélo is getting tired”, “You hurt them because you chose to.”)

So when he says he loves Kenyan, he means it???? Like, WUT?????????????

And that contrast is so good, because he never lies and is the villain, while Kenyan is the one who lies all the time and is the victim.

This man is so ridiculously smart, I’m genuinely impressed. To use his shapeshifter skills, he gotta study anatomy in a pretty specific way; so he probably knows a lot about medicine and could work as a doctor, if he wants to (a disguise to use, an easy way to access people…)

In extension, he knows about psychological science and can make a conversation go the way he wants, hence why he’s so good at being a king, do whatever he wants, and blame Kenyan for it. Because of it, he can be both the abuser as the healer; he makes Kenyan hurt them, and he appears to fix everything. It’s so crazy that he convinced even Kenyan that she is to blame, and that he’s there standing by her side, willing to help while “everyone ran from her”.

Now, you tell me, what kind of person would stay sane at these circumstances?????? What kind of person wouldn’t realize that it’s easier to just stop rowing against the waves?????? Kenyan had to give up at some point, go insane, act as he wants, AND I DON’T BLAME HER AT ALL. He made it look as if she had no other choice; what hand would she take if not his?!!!!!

This man is wild 😦

AAAAA I WANTED TO HAVE PATIENCE TO MAKE ANIMATIONS, SO I COULD MAKE VIDEOS OF KENYAN WITH THESE SONGS:::

They’re so her.

I want to do a playlist for all the characters too, but somehow I only remember of Kenyan when searching songs (is this an addiction???? 😨)

Yet another backstory!

AO3 / Wattpad

9 Y - 0 M - 4 D

“I want that squirrel.” Ethan pointed at the tree that was triple his height.

His mother took off her sunglasses, searched for the animal between the leaves, and analyzed her little boy.

“You’ll get your clothes dirty.”

“I can wash them later.”

She saw the squirrel far away, really far away, holding a nut and moving its nose. Such an ugly creature…

“Do you want to eat that?”

“It’s not for eating! It is to be my pet!”

“Pet?” She frowned and leaned on. “Is there a special reason for this?”

“Because Tony is small, and it will be cool to chase him there!” Ethan put his hands together. “Please, mum, can I have it?!”

She looked up and down at his new outfit: polo shirt, shorts over his knees, led shoes, and, lastly, his puppy face.

Fragile. And extremely cute.

She sighed. “Yes, you can, but go slowly so you don’t fall.”

“Alright, mum! I love you!” said him, already running at the tree.

He arrived at the base and checked if he was in the same direction as Tony. The squirrel didn’t move at all, so it would be easy to catch him!

Hugging the tree, Ethan put a foot on a bump, and pushed his body up. He gripped the next branch, tested if it held his weight, then pushed up again.

He kept doing it, slowly as his mother told him to, until the largest branches finally arrived. It was the hardest part: to get over there; but Ethan could see Tony just at the edge, and he wouldn’t stop now that he was this close.

Placing his hands in minor areas, he managed to get his torso over. To get his legs up as well, he just had to drag himself on the branch and… ta-dah! He was safely sat!

The squirrel was still with its nut, trying to open it with big teeth. It made Ethan smirk. Tony was kinda similar to Sam in appearance; would they like to meet each other? Ethan was certain they would, so he should hurry.

He moved subtly to not scare Tony, just like his mum did in other times. It would probably work with him, too, if he did the exact same thing.

“Hi, Tony,” he whispered. “Do you wanna go to my house? There’s a lot of food there.”

He showed his hand to the squirrel, who stared for a long time before approaching. His tiny paws let go of the nut and touched Ethan’s hand, as if searching for something.

“Hey, this tickles!” Ethan giggled and squirmed as Tony traveled his arm and shoulders, stopping over his head. “What are you doing there? Is it comfortable?”

Ethan could feel the squirrel pulling his hair, then going still as if he found the perfect spot. After realizing he was ready, the boy put the nut in his pocket.

“Now, we just gotta get down and…” He froze.

When did he get that high?

His body tensed as he looked down for the first time. No way he could jump from this height; he’d turn into a pancake! What could he do?! What could he do?!

He hugged the branch, looking for his mother who was just a minuscule red point on the green.

“Mum!” he called, but she didn’t move. “MOMMYYYY!”

Tony squeaked and left in a rush, jumping on Ethan’s legs and causing more screams.

“NO, TONY! DON’T RUN!” Ethan wanted to catch the squirrel, but his body was locked. “COME BACK, PLEASE!”

Yet the squirrel disappeared in the leaves, totally forgetting about the promises of food and new home. Ughhh, what a traitor!

Ethan looked down again and his heart sank.

His mother wasn’t on the bench anymore. Where did she go?! Did she leave him stuck there?! How could s—

“Ethan, is everything okay?!” Her voice came from below, returning his soul to his body. “Did you get the squirrel?!”

“HE LEFT!” Ethan carefully looked down, but regretted it immediately. Spirits, what a nauseating place to be in… “I’M STUCK, MOMMY! HELP!”

“You climbed up; you figure out how to get down!”

His eyes darted at the horrific distance between him and the ground, and, nuh-uh. Nope. Sov.

“MUM, IT’S TOO HIGH! I LOVE MY LIFE! I WON’T DO IT!”

She chuckled softly. “It’s not hard, son! Just put your feet in the same place you put before, and climb down!”

“BUT I WILL FALL AND DIE!”

“You won’t, I promise you!”

“MUMMMMMMMM!” He shut his eyes and gripped the tree like a koala. “I’M NOT GOING DOWN!”

“And I’m not going to get you!” She sat beside the tree. “If you’re staying there, we can pass the night here. I don’t mind!”

Ethan couldn’t believe it. Was it for real? She really wasn’t coming to save him?? Even if he’s clearly in danger?! She doesn’t mind if he dies?!

…no, she must be kidding. She was letting Ethan stay for longer because he broke her bracelet. She said it was fine, but maybe she secretly got angry at him, and now was taking advantage of his situation. That must be it. He just gotta wait until she pities him.

Yeah, she was going to get him soon.

Soon.

At any moment.

At any second.

When she feels like it.

Before it was night.

She would do it.

However, time passed, Ethan didn’t move an inch, and his belly was getting wild. The only thing he had all afternoon was an ice cream, and now his stomach was trying to eat him inside out.

Meanwhile, his mum was there, laid down and resting peacefully on the grass.

“Mummyyyyyy… I’m hungry!”

“Me too.” She didn’t even open her eyes. “A shame you let that squirrel escape.”

“Tony wasn’t food! He was my pet!”

“As you say, dear.”

And she kept silent, not uttering a single word about saving him. The crickets and owls were talking more than her, at this point!

His lips trembled when he talked again. 

“Mum, will you really leave me alone here forever?!”

“Of course no, am I not here?” She smiled. “I won’t leave you alone, Ethan; I am letting you learn something useful.”

“But it’s past the time of learning anything! It’s time for dinner, then fairytale, then bedtime!” 

“I know, it will be such a hassle to fix it when we get home, so can you climb down quickly?”

The boy stared at his mum, measuring once more how hard he could fall. Maybe it wasn’t that far, but…

“It’s dark, I can’t see.”

“Ethan…” She huffed and got up, resting her hand on her hip. “We both know you can see clearly—the moon is full, and your vision is better than mine—, so stop procrastinating and get down!”

Ethan breathed in deeply, gazing from his mum to the tree trunk. He could see everything, as she said, but could he do it?…

“Sweet, hear me,” she continued. “It’s not hard. Drag yourself to the trunk, hold it, then put your foot on the nearest branch. After being sure it won’t fall, repeat the steps until you get here. It’s the same as going up, but in the inverse order. Easy, right?”

“Easy, saying! It’s not you here, mum…” he grumbled and swallowed dry.

However, he knew he had no other way to leave. It was climb down or climb down, so he stretched his hands forward. Slowly, focused and shaking, he moved on the branch towards his goal. 

Without looking down, he got at the trunk and squeezed it with his arms. His heart was about to break his rib cage, but he continued the process: a foot down, blindly looking for a new support, then descending over it.

Sometimes Ethan would misstep on a lump and feel his blood vanishing, but then he’d find a way to stabilize himself, say thanks to the stars, and keep the journey down.

It wasn’t easy at all; it was hard, terrible. He felt like he’d fall at each action, hurt himself while falling, hit the ground, go to the hospital, have a head surgery, then die, leaving his mum crying for him the rest of her life.

And this was exactly what happened.

Disturbed by his own thoughts, he glanced down for a second. A millisecond. A tenth of a millisecond. And that was when gravity pulled him down with all its might.

It was fast. Too fast! Ethan screamed and reached for something to hold, but he only held onto leaves who folded with him. He couldn’t seem to stop! He was going to hit the ground! He was going to die!

“ETHAN!”

He shut his eyes, prepared for the inevitable, for the impact, and—

He rolled like a barrel, in a tight space, muffled noises, and aching body. When he stopped spinning, his brain didn’t. It kept sick, feeling suffocated. His lungs were heavy, and it just was tight. Everything was unbelievably tight.

The voice was what made him realize the cause of that problem.

“Thunder! Begone evil!” His mother cursed behind him, still pressing him against her chest. “Do you want to give me a heart attack, Ethan?!”

He couldn’t tell apart her heartbeats from his, but he knew they both weren’t fine. She was shaking. Or was it him? They were too close. Her arms were entangled around his body and he could feel her uneven breath on his hair.

Ah…

Safe. He was safe. He didn’t die. His mum saved him. She got him before he hit the ground. She saved him.

He held weakly to her hands, and the tears came at once. 

“Ethan…” she called and turned him over. “Ethan? Are you hurt somewhere? Did you hit anything??”

He shook his head, but she checked him whole as he didn’t stop to cry. He couldn’t, and he didn’t understand why. Instead, he jumped into her arms again, hugging her neck and weeping louder.

“Son?…” muttered her.

She didn’t push him away, nor told him to be quiet, nor mocked his ugly face.

She just held him back, pulled him closer, and mumbled softly:

“I am here, Ethan. I am here.”

I decided I’ll add short backstories after each chapter (probably). So now I added one and update some tiny details in the other chapters. (Ugh, it’s so annoying to update things in three apps, cuz I use Docs, then AO3, then Wattpad 😭)

AO3 / Wattpad

9 Y - 11 M - 22 D

“Are you coming later?”

“Uh… I don’t know if my mum will let me go, especially in this weather.” He looked at the sky outside. That storm was about to collapse everything, for certain.

“Jesus, Ethie! Your mum will never let you visit us?!”

The boy smiled sheepishly and fixed the backpack straps. “She’s worried. We never stay away from each other, you know?”

“You are away now.” Sam raised his brows while pushing the door open.

“The teachers are looking,” Ethan said while dodging the loud children. “It’s not the same as going home with you.”

“My mum will be there, why would she be worried about anything?!” He glanced at his friend. “Sometimes I think she’s too protective of you; just saying.”

Ethan grimaced. “I know, but…”

It was his mum. It was normal for her to be worried, right? It meant she loved him a lot. It meant she cared. There was no reason for him to be mad.

Not when she was there at the entrance, with two umbrellas at hand. She always came to get him in time, no matter the situation.

And his mum had the prettiest smile ever.

“Hi, sweetheart.” She kissed his forehead softly before patting his head. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah, mum! The teacher tried to make an experiment, but he had the wrong ratio, so I taught him how he could fix it!”

“Nice job, Ethan,” she smiled. “I bet the teacher was deeply impressed by you.”

“More likely depressed…” mumbled Sam.

Ethan heard it and he knew his mother heard as well. It was that brief twitch in her ear that gave her feelings out.

At that moment, Ethan wanted to have telepathic conversations with her, so he could gently say, “MUM, YOU CAN’T ARGUE WITH MY FRIENDS! I WON’T TALK TO YOU ALL DAY IF YOU DO IT!”, but as he didn’t have this power, he just begged internally she’d understand his intentions.

She gazed at him and glared at Sam for a tense, long moment. The boy averted his eyes, retreating a step, and Ethan was ready to snoop in to help his friend.

But then her polite smile came back.

“Hi, Sammy. How is Mrs. Price doing?”

Ethan exhaled and nudged Sam to answer, who frowned and whined lowly before turning to the woman.

“She’s fine, Ms. Yaneh, thanks for asking.” He looked at Ethan and cleaned his throat. “By the way… I asked her earlier, and she said Ethan could come over after school. If you let him. She said she’d get us by car because of the storm.”

“Did she?” Ethan whispered.

“She did.”

“But didn’t you say you’d ask her when s—“

”She did,” Sam scowled at him.

Ethan finally understood and got quiet. Sam was predicting the future, as he liked to describe his lies. He was used to saying things he hoped would happen—and they mostly did—, but Ethan wasn’t in the mood to risk it with his mum. Should he meddle in?

“Oh…” She turned at the view. “Why go by car when you can walk? The weather is nice today.”

The kids looked in the same direction she was looking at. They saw no living beings out there. They heard the rain making holes in the roof. They shivered with the cold wind. It didn't seem it would stop soon.

“Nice weather?...” Ethan tried slowly.

“Yes, it's refreshing and the sun won't bother you. Truly wonderful… Don't you think so?” She sounded genuinely confused. “Ah, is it because you don't like the noise, son? At home, it’s not that loud; you will feel better when we get there. Let me carry your bag.”

Ethan didn't question. It was “mum being mum”, so he just handed her the bag.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Sam interrupted. “You are not thinking of going in that storm, are you?! Why didn't you park your car closer, Ms. Yaneh?!”

“I didn't bring the car, Sammy.” She put the bag on. “Didn't you hear? It's a nice weather to walk.”

“But you're going to get drenched!” He fiercely pointed outside. “It’s raining!”

“...yes, I have noticed, thank you.” She gave an umbrella for Ethan. “Shall we go? I have to cook lunch.”

“Ma'am!” Sam got between her and Ethan, spreading his arms open. “You can't do it! Isn't it better to talk to my mum, so she can take us home by car? I'm sure lunch will be ready!”

“Sam, don't…”

“You can't possibly be okay with it too, right, Ethie?! You will get sick!”

People were gathering around, already muttering about a fight that would start.

“It’s Ethan, again.”

“Ohh, he must be destroying that loser!”

“Is that his mother? Won't she stop them?”

Oh no, they were getting it all wrong. Ethan wasn't fighting anyone this time! And can't they see it's Sam? Why would he do such a thing to him?!

However, Ethan realized his mother wouldn't care about fighting a kid or two…

She pushed Sam out of the way a little more intensely than necessary and held Ethan’s hand to pull him close to her.

“I appreciate your concern, Sammy Price,” she replied dryly, “but I know exactly what I am doing. I'd also appreciate it if you cease your insistence, so don't try asking once again if Ethan can go to your home—he will go when he's ready for it. Meanwhile, feel free to visit us with a previous warning.”

Ethan visibly cringed as his mum pulled him away. He should say sorry to Sam, but how could he, if he couldn't even say bye?! She just kept leading him forward, creating more rumors to his scholarly life.

“You saw it?! Even Ethan’s mum is cool!”

“Of course, she is! He had to learn it from someone!”

“I’d be the happiest kid alive if I had a badass mum like her…”

Argh, for the stars! They'd keep saying it the whole week, asking Ethan a thousand questions, and importunating his studies! That was terrible! Horrible! His life ended!

When they were finally alone, Ethan stomped in place, screaming to be heard over the rain.

“MUM, why did you have to do that?!”

“Do what?” She fixed his umbrella over his shoulder. “Stating the obvious for that child?”

“Being rude to Sam! He was suggesting something good for us, not a kidnapping!”

“Is that so? Next time, tell him I only accept useful suggestions.” She held his hand and pulled him to move. “No, to be more exact, tell him not to suggest anything if I haven't asked.”

“MUM, I'M SERIOUS!”

“And so am I, Ethan! I honestly don't understand why you would befriend someone like him, but you still want it, so I’m not trying to stop you…” She sighed and glanced at him. “I just want you to be careful, sweet. You are very special to me, and I get worried about what could happen when I'm not there for you… Can you try to understand my side?”

“I understand, mum! But you also need to understand my side!” He pouted. “I’m almost ten! I'm growing! I can live without you for a few hours, you know?!”

She gripped his hand and looked away.

Ethan stepped inside a puddle.

The rain filled the silence, constant with its sound.

Why was she taking so long to answer back? She'd sometimes lose her words when the subject was her, but it didn't happen when it was his demands. She'd find a way to make him satisfied, then laugh about how stubborn they both were.

Why was she thinking so hard? Was she really scared that Ethan would get hurt by visiting Sam? If so, she must have a reason, right? She wouldn't think this just because.

“...If it's dangerous, I won't ask for it, mommy. I'm sorry.”

“It’s not dangerous, it’s just…” She could barely be heard, as she wasn't even facing him. “You're right, you're growing. I should be the one sorry for not realizing it. I'll let you go to Sammy’s house.” She swallowed and grinned at him. “But could you wait until you're ten? I wanted to stay these last days, you and me, doing our things together. Before you turn full grown-up, right?”

He smiled and lowered his head. “I was kidding, mommy, I won't be a grown-up when I'm ten!”

“You lied to me, you little menace?!” She let go of his hand to pinch his nose. “I was completely worried that I'd need to buy you L sized clothes, and you were kidding?!”

“AHH, I'M SORRY! LEMME GO, MOMMY!”

They laughed and joked all the way back home, ignoring the rain and all the cars who passed by throwing water.

Somehow, they didn't get a drop wet.

I was writing a random angst scene with Kenyan and Hiélo, but I didn’t know what word I should use, so I Googled it.

“Turned on his heel”, was it, but I just can’t take this seriously ☠️ I dunno why, but when I read it, I always imagine someone spinning on place, then leaving. So it goes like this:

Was Kenyan a Bad Mum?

I was thinking about Ethan’s childhood and how chaotic it was. He was spoiled, could do almost everything he wanted, he had everything he asked, he questioned every concept, he was a smart ass at school…

And you ask, “why”? Because Kenyan taught him to be like this, of course. Her idea of motherhood was different from the normal; she raised Ethan as a person, not just a kid. This is why she afforded his desires, wishes, and demands—because she wanted him to live at max capacity while he didn’t have responsibilities and huge consequences to care about.

Then you think, “wow, this is wrong. This kid will grow to be a spoiled adult, thinking life works exactly as he wants; then when things go bad, he will get mad and won’t know how to fix it.”

But if we look through Kenyan’s POV, we can understand why she’d think this is okay.

Let’s check her life stage:

As you can see, Auvies take their time to do things in life; maturity and independence comes around at 40 years old. At the age she got pregnant, she was supposed to start thinking about her future and what she wanted to try (in studies and work). She was a princess, so it was half decided, but she still would need to think about what kind of authority she’d be in the future.

But then she skipped (not by her choice) 100 years of her life, had to run away (she was a sacred figure, pregnancy out of marriage wouldn’t sound good…), started a life from scratch in a strange place, had no support, and all of it with a hyperactive kid. It’s clear she wouldn’t know how to raise a child in this situation.

And her maturity wasn’t that different of a child, so she was deeply empathetic of Ethan. If he asked for something, she’d give it to him because she thought “I also wanted to have things when I was a kid, so it's only fair I give it to him”, or even “he will just have me, so I should be a thousand times better than a normal mother, and to be a better mother, I should do this and that”.

There's also her culture.

Until 12 years old, Auvies have all the right to be curious and innocent, exploring the world and not dealing with consequences. The parents should allow it, only being careful about really dangerous actions; in this case, the parents should be present to instruct, but they still couldn’t forbid the kid from doing what they want.

Ethan was at this stage, so Kenyan just followed what she knew. But, for being on Earth and hearing advice all the time about how to raise him, she started allowing consequences on Ethan’s life, so he’d know what to do and what to avoid. (Example: he can climb the tree, but if he gets afraid of heights or gets stuck, Kenyan wouldn’t save him—she’d teach him how to get down. At the end, he would know it’s not a good idea to climb again because it’s scary, but if he ever need to climb down again, he wouldn’t be powerless)

So, we can conclude that Kenyan did a great job at raising Ethan! She could have done better? Probably. But she did what she could as a solo-teen-Auvie mother raising a child.

Unfortunately, we won’t know how she would raise a teen.

She didn’t stay long enough.

Valentine Cards 3

Hiélo’s turn!

Woohoo, “angst” is Kenyan’s middle name and it’s impossible to don’t show it in her relationships 💔 she loves Hiélo a lot, but she worries she might be using him just for comfort.

It’s complicate when you have a second voice (coughcoughSylriscoughcough) convincing you of it 🥲

(I didn’t even bother to paint the comic cuz I knew it would be so lazy done that would be worse.)

Valentine Cards 2

Sylris’s turn!

Valentine Cards

Kenyan’s turn, with her boyfriend, Hiélo:

With her husband, Sylris:

Who do you think is her favorite? It’s so hard to know!🥰🥰🥰 (And, WHOO, she’s really the best. If she killed me I’d say sorry for dirtying her hands 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽)

I thought about what each character would write in their cards, but I’m wondering if I’ll be able to make a drawing for each of them… it’s so exhausting 😩☠️

Relationships Chart

A bit confusing, but this is how the relationships are supposed to be. Maybe it will change while I'm writing, as I'm still thinking what am I supposed to do with Maya, Behati and Yuno. They are necessary, but I don't know their role in the big picture 🥲

(I know it’s weird having a dog tagged as Lovers, but it's because I can't find somebody that looks like Hiélo, I swear it's not zoophilia ☠️☠️)

Roar

I saw three drawings in Pinterest and it inspired me to make it 🤙🏽

And I decided to draw a panther cuz they’re elegant in a scary way, such as Kenyan.

I love Kenyan’s gaze. I love Kenyan’s hair. I love Kenyan’s mood. I love Kenyan. In this place we stan Kenyan, with or without her mistakes.

Mino

“Relationship”. I’m not sure about the meaning of this drawing because as I said, I’m trying hard to don’t overthink things. And the text in background is a gossip that goes around Martra:

“Did you hear the rumor? They say Maivtre has a lover, and Odabrani knows it! Why he doesn't act? Why he doesn't complain? He can be angry. Maivtre is being unfaithful and with her knight! Is that Lewie shameless?! They were siblings (close friends); nobody expected them to have this (love) relationship! And how did Maivtre lose at this sin? In all times, Maivtre and Odabrani were the perfect relationship (couple). How does she dare to destroy this reputation?”

Monster Hunt - I (AU)

Let’s gooooooo Kenyan will be purified of all evil 😇 I’ll make three parts (I guess), each one fighting her according to their beliefs (she’s a vampire, witch or alien?)

Kenyan despises plants, but she hates with more passion the ones that stink. And she has great senses, so she knew the food was doomed since the start, she just sniffed because it’s a habit.

As I said, she might be able to eat it, but the consequences can be hard… anyway, she just gotta pose “human” for everyone outside home.

(I’m not forgetting to draw her pointy ears. She uses magic to disguise them when people are around)