Latest Posts by spareplanets - Page 2
nina: matthias kissed me!
inej and wylan: oh my god oh my god!
nina: it was unbelievable!
inej: let’s hear everything.
wylan: inej, get the wine and unplug the phone. nina, does this end well or do we need to get tissues?
nina: it ended VERY well.
inej: do NOT start without me!
wylan: okay, alright let’s hear about the kiss. was it a soft brush against your lips or was it a “i gotta have you now kind of thing”?
nina: well at first it was really intense, you know? and then we just sort of sunk into it.
wylan: so was he holding you? or were his hands on your back?
nina: no actually at first they started out on my waist and then they slid up and were in my hair.
inej: oh!
MEANWHILE:
matthias: then i kissed her.
jesper: tongue?
matthias: yeah.
kaz: cool.
kaz: you know, i’m really glad you decided to learn Suli.
jesper: why?
kaz: once you’re fluent, you can annoy inej instead of me.
matthias: i don’t like bugs, okay? they freak me out.
nina: interesting. you’re afraid of bugs AND women. ladybugs must render you catatonic.
jesper: you know that guy i’m dating?
kaz: wylan? your child bride?
kaz: what does a man do about that pain?
jesper: takes a bubble bath
me
listen I GET that this is a Bad Thing I GET that Neilman is unhappy with it but listen. Listen to me. I’m so happy right now that I’m in an altered state. this is unlocking Secret New Emotions for me. I am literally 100000% more hyped for the new season. I’m going to be so fucking insufferable. My family is going to suffer.
this might make me problematic but i really lowkey want jesper and wylan to break up before the six of crows spin-off bc i think their dynamic as exes would be so funny and a lot more similar to the book. then they like grow back together and yada yada.
The Batboys Fancast but they're actually brown and not european or Henry Cavill
Akash Kumar as Rhysand
Honestly he's really ethnic for Rhysand while I envision Rhysand as mixed or wasian (white-asian) but he's perfect for him
Vivek Dhiman as Cassian
walimn (ig) as Azriel
kaz: matthias will show you around
matthias: um, right this way is the exit
wylan: why are you always in such a foul mood?
kaz: experience.
post-crooked kingdom imagine
jesper and wylan: *mid makeout session*
kaz: hello
jesper: hey kaz
kaz: am i interrupting?
wylan: little bit, yeah
kaz: guess i should've called
wylan: yeah, maybe!
kaz: tonight's the night i usually go spying with inej downtown...
jesper: uh-huh...
kaz: but she's hunting slavers...
wylan: yes, we know
kaz: want me to leave?
jesper: *literally on top of wylan* you know, whatever
kaz: okay i guess i could hang for a little while
jesper: i've always been a little confused about this, why can't you kill wolves?
matthias: we believe wolves are gods
nina: not technically, in drüskelle culture, wolves are thought to be like god
matthias: do not tell me about my own culture, nina! in the mood i'm in, i'll take you out, i swear to wolf!
me personally? i think kaz should be allowed to say fuck in the tv series. maybe i’m old fashioned.
bonus: inej scolding him for it
i really hope that Kaz sometimes visits The Wraith and helps Inej with her slaver hunting. i hope that Inej comes around Ketterdam and they have dinner. i hope Wylan and Jesper save a spare room for her, just in case. i hope Kaz gets roped into visiting the Van Eck house once a week. i hope Nina comes to Ketterdam after her wedding. i hope they’re all invited. i hope Inej is her maid of honor. i hope Jesper and Wylan live so long that they get married. i hope Kaz, Inej, and Nina are sitting and laughing at the reception. i hope Kaz finally finds peace, and finds Inej.
i hope Matthias watches, the wolves beside him.
matthias: my shoelace came untied! it could’ve happened to anybody!
kaz: that’s your excuse? inej weighs five pounds, jesper can’t swim, and wylan’s never even seen an ocean
jesper: uh, i can swim, racist
kaz: mother hen? i think we’re about the same age!
wylan: sure, unless time is linear
kaz: i’ll make your ass linear!
wylan: that doesn’t make any sense
kaz: i’ll make your ass sense
jesper: you like me? you like my personality?
wylan: i was surprised too
kaz: oh, i thought we weren’t talking
jesper: we’re not.
kaz: then why do i hear words coming out of that stupid hole in your face?
jesper: i’m a human being and i’m entitled to my emotions
kaz: are you crying?
jesper: *wiping away a tear* no
kaz: are you seriously crying, jesper?
jesper: i’m not crying
wylan: my boyfriend is so stupid. he kissed the wrong guy in front of me
inej: mine called me an “investment”
nina: mine tried to kill me and called me a slur
wylan and inej: what.
wylan: uh, guys? what does a pregnancy test look like?
jesper: thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end of it
wylan: okay, so this is definitely a gun
nina: as a Healer…
kaz: heartrender
nina: i hereby offer my licensed services…
kaz: unlicensed
nina: as a grief counselor…
kaz: grief causer
nina: if anyone needs to talk, the doctor…
kaz: not even close
nina: is in!
wylan: you don’t see me saying anything crazy about kaz and inej’s weird, little relationship!
kaz and inej, in unison: they’re just jealous…
kaz: guys, guys. let’s take a vote.
jesper: secret vote! everyone cover your eyes!
wylan: we won’t know the result!
matthias: well, say your vote out loud
wylan: we’ll know each other’s voices…
nina: inej has a point
wylan: kaz, i think you should play the role of my father
kaz: i don’t wanna be your father
wylan: perfect. you already know your lines.
nina: what gets out kool-aid stains?
jesper: we already know the opposite color kool—aid doesn’t work
kaz: …
inej: please, kaz was just showing me how to fix the floor
wylan: anytime a man shows a girl how to do something from behind, it’s just an excuse for him to get really close and breathe on her neck.
jesper: watch any sports movie.
kaz: damn it! everybody, bathroom now!
nina: what’s up, dad?
jesper: what, kaz?
kaz: is someone playing a joke on me? honestly, why is my towel still wet?
jesper: cause it’s not your towel, it’s my towel, kaz
kaz: no, it’s not your towel. your towel is the red one.
jesper: i’ll tell you this, pal: i’ve never used that. i do use that one every single day.
kaz: oh god
nina: this towel’s so warm and fluffy, it’s like it’s been in the sun forever!
matthias: this means you two have been drying your junk with the same towel.
inej: intimate
matthias: are you putting butter on bacon?
nina: i don’t want it to stick to the pan
inej: we’re a family. families talk about things.
jesper: no. families ignore things until they go away.
jesper: throw it in the trash!
wylan: i can’t see it! cause when she comes in here, i’ll just yell “trash!” i’ll yell “trash!”
jesper: cover your ears and sing Landslide!
kaz: let’s call inej again
wylan: took my love and i took it down
jesper: we need to get this back in my closet—
wylan: i can see your lips moving!
nina: well, close your eyes!
wylan: *singing*
nina: throw it out the window, okay?
jesper: i’ll sneak down there, i’ll toss it in the dumpster
nina: *toss* here!
jesper: what the heck, nina?
nina: i threw like a boy! i’ve always thrown like a boy!
jesper: you almost hit me in the face! what are you, nuts? overhand?
wylan: *still singing*
kaz: oh well, matthias is a goner