hog-mage

Latest Posts by hog-mage

Recently, on June 5th, I turned 40. This is an age I don’t mind, and quite excited about. I thought my 30s was quite exceptional. It made me feel whole and alive that decade. It healed me from my 20’s where I was quite broken and lost. So at age 40 and on, I hope to find more of myself.

Now I know I haven’t updated my tumblr in more than ages, but I’m more of a creeper than a writer that cuts out different letters from magazines and sends it to the lead investigator kind of gal, but I’ve been busy.

I’m married now and have a frickin 4 year old boy! I’m a boy mom! I just want to sit on a bench under the tree for some damn shade!

So, back to my age. When I was 29, I thought I couldn’t possibly make it to 30. I thought I’d cease to exist. I didn’t actually think I’d die or anything, just that some celestial being would just pluck me from existence. So when I hit 30, that morning I felt strange, I was ready for something to happen, only nothing happened.

The only thing that happened was that I got reacquainted with an old friend, who became my boyfriend, who became my fiancé, who became my husband, who became the father of our child.

I used to question why I was so happy. I would subscribe to the saying, “this too shall pass.” Though poetic, was damaging to me.

Now I ask myself, “why not?” Why not be happy? Why not feel love? Why not be hopeful?

Anyway, I’m 40 now, and I’m excited!

There are no words, just beautiful beyond expression.

An underwater martial arts performance. This video took the efforts of 50 people and had a pre-production period of four months. The filming itself took around 36 hours total.

What’s happening to autistic people right now?

(Trigger warning for abuse, electroshock therapy, torture, and ableism.)

The US court has overturned the ban on shock devices being used against disabled students, predominantly autistic students in the US.

The shock device being legalized is called the graduated electronic decelerator (or GED). This is a torture device that is used to ‘correct’ autistic behaviors / symptoms. Autistic people are shocked for stimming, and for having meltdowns, ect. This device was made popular by a behavioral center (the Judge Rosenberg Center, specifically) that is infamous for its abuse and torture of autistic / disabled patients.

(Image ID: someone is holding their arm out and resting it on a table, with their sleeve rolled up. Attached to their arm are wires, which connect to a small cube device.)

This is what the device looks like. It sends electric shocks into the victim’s skin; the victim often being restrained and held against their will. This is torture. GEDs have been reported to cause intense psychological trauma, PTSD, and physical injuries.

In March of 2020, the FDA ruled for GEDs to be banned. (Although, of course, they were still illegally used at a number of places.) This ruling has recently been appealed, and today, the US court of appeals has re-regulated the law to stop the use of GED. Sounds great, right? It would be!

... If not for a huge loophole in the wording, which basically allows this torture to continue. This device is going to have continued use on autistic students in order to “correct their behavior.”

“So.... What can I do??”

Great question! You can:

Listen to and boost autistic voices to spread awareness

As-of now (July 7th), autistic activists are trying to get #StopTheShock trending on Twitter, so Tweet out the hashtag if you have Twitter

If you’re in the US, email / call your legislators

Sign this petition if you’re in the US

Follow this case and look out for updates

If Autism Speaks (known ableist hategroup) says anything about this, DO NOT BOOST IT

That’s all! Thank you. Reblogs are very appreciated!!

“Lesbianism might have been tolerated in France, but transvestism was not. French police warned Marlene Dietrich she might be subject to arrest if she dressed like a man in Paris. Katharine Hepburn’s bosses at RKO objected so much to her trousered look that they threatened to suspend her unless she switched to skirts. She, in turn, threatened to walk around in her underwear, and when the studio carried out on its threat and confiscated her clothes, she carried out hers and went from her set to the commissary in her underpants.”

-Excerpt from The Sewing Circle: Female Stars Who Loved Other Women

Killing Eve ― 3x01 (Review)

I didn’t rush to write this review right after the episode, as I sometimes need to rewatch the episode several times to actually appreciate it and spot a thing or two. I know, everybody’s writing these, their thoughts, so I’m sorry if some of them will be repetitive, but I do want to get my thoughts out! Soo shall we get to it?

Dasha

What is interesting to me is that they chose this flashback of Dasha being a gymnast in her early age as the very first scene of the episode. And let’s not forget, it is the first scene of the entire season, meaning it has to be very important one. I don’t think they brought her in just to play Villanelle’s next handler. She was her mentor before, which makes it a lot more personal to both of them. There’s more to her, I’m sure. So far I’m loving the dynamic between her and Villanelle. There’s this… old-friends reunited kind of vibe, but then again, they can be laughing one moment and trying to choke each other to death the next. In this aspect they are very similar. 

That brings me to Dasha’s killing style. It is unique, something we haven’t seen in the show before. It can only mean competition to Villanelle. And she’s so confident that her work is better than Dasha’s. Not only does she say it to Dasha, but later on copy her style during the spice kill ― which, by the way, I think is very underrated. 

Villanelle had to ask Dasha about her part of the deal, twice. Then she brought up the possibility of going back home ― back to Russia. It might be true, but I don’t think that’s everything she was promised. And it’s one more reason for us to keep watching to find out, hm?

The Wedding

All I can say about the wedding is ― WOW. I was looking forward to it and it didn’t disappoint. Actually, it’s the best part of the episode for me. Many people have said that it was ‘waste of potential’; ‘they only did it to set up a meeting with Dasha’; but really. I don’t think we would’ve gotten the Villanelle wedding in any other circumstance. Like, think about it. A wedding is not something Villanelle would normally do, right? She doesn’t care about such things, yet in this case she does it. Yes, she LOVES a good show and attention as well as being rich and have everything she ever wanted including having the power and control of it all. And since she’s getting over Eve, why not find another woman and marry her to prove to everyone and to herself, that she is totally over the Asian woman with amazing hair? She’s extra like that and I love it. And don’t get me started on the tuxedo blazer AND black tulle ruffle top. She wore THAT for her own wedding. Just thinking about it makes me want to go feral. 

Mooving on, the irony of Villanelle not only bringing up Eve during her wedding speech, but saying she is ‘so much happier now she’s dead’ while immedially afterwards glancing around the place almost as if she’s expecting to see Eve. She hopes she’s there… and it makes me wonder, what if Eve actually was there? What if she somehow made it to Villanelle’s wedding and just… can you imagine? What their interaction would look like? Plus having MARIA there the entire time and the guests? Damn. 

Then there’s casual Villanelle simply enjoying her wedding cake, because why the hell not? And on top of that ignoring her new wife during the dance. I mean… this is SUCH Villanelle thing to do. She couldn’t care any less. Then again we are reminded of how awkward/uncomfortable she could get around people when she’s being.. more or less herself. I haven’t seen her like that for a hot minute. She has always been brilliant in slipping into other groups of people, pretending to be a part of a conversation, it never really was an issue for her. Yet this time she’s not really pretending to be someone else. She is Villanelle and yes, she is awkward. I love that we got to see that bit. 

And of course… it wouldn’t be Villanelle’s wedding if there wasn’t a fight involved. Why not start a fight herself? It’s exactly what she did and having Dasha show up only highlighted the wedding scene even more. It wasn’t all about Dasha being there, it was about Villanelle trying to prove to herself that she’s finally moving on and I, personaly, needed that. It’s a shame the wedding scene ended so quickly, I mean we could’ve gotten a kiss or two, since it’s a damn wedding! Though I’m still really glad we got to see it. We actually got to steal a glance at Villanelle’s wedding. That sounds so surreal on itself. Are we sure they didn’t take this from any of the fanfics? 

Carolyn

(warning: possible spoilers/predictions ahead)

She’s still a very shady lady. Carolyn must be the most mysterious character on the show, based on how little we know about her, her work and her family. I’m glad that someone is finally confronting her about the previous operation in Rome. What’s even better ― Hugo sued MI6 and he has EVERY right to do so. The entire mission was a blood bath and someone has to answer for it. Yet, despite given circumstances, Carolyn remains completely still during all the accusations she has received and even refuses to apologize during her conversation with Kenny. None of the previous events that took place seem to be valuable and important enough for her. And that makes me wonder.. that maybe the Twelve ordered Kenny’s death to stop any further unofficial investigations AND to punish Carolyn, because Kenny’s all she has, right?

Well, now they will be bringing up Carolyns daughter ― Geraldine. Up to this point we knew that Kenny was Carolyn’s only child, but since he’s gone now, there has to be someone else related to Carolyn and we got Geraldine. From what we know now, they do not have a great relationship which makes me even more excited to see them interacting. 

Since the Twelve put a hit on Kenny… I’m starting to think that maybe Carolyn is next on their list, and possibly Konstantin. In S3 trailer we got a quick shot of Carolyn in a car with a driver. And there’s Villanelle, pretending to be a police officer, chasing someone down. If I’m correct, Villanelle will come after Carolyn and will try to assassinate her. Now why would Villanelle try to kill Carolyn? Either she will find out something related to Eve and Carolyn being involved, maybe wanting to take revenge? It’s not very likely is it? But the Twelve deiciding to take out Carolyn, and Villanelle doing the job sounds more like it. At least to me.

Eve

First off… the scene in the store is not only the first scene of Eve we see in this episode, but it shows exactly where she is right now. Where her mind is, how she’s dealing with everything around her. Cearly, she’s done with everything, running on auto-pilot for the most part of it. She’s one huge mood. Eve really must be the most relatable character for us as viewers. If something like this happened to us… we would basically be Eve. 

It’s been 6 months and that’s the Eve we see. She’s struggling. And she should be. She almost died and now everything seems to be reminding her of Villanelle. The song in the store, the cashier’s talking about spaghtetti and Rome?! Then the other cooks at the restaurant talking about one of their’s crush and how it started with infatuation and now it’s love. Everything about it screams Villanelle. We know it. Eve knows it. And most importantly… the SCAR itself. No matter where she goes, what she does… she won’t be able to erase Villanelle. She has been scarred for life and so was Villanelle and guys… that is just so brilliant. They are meant for one another and that’s a fact. Either they will end up together (hopefully) and somehow manage to create some kind of future together or they will die together. Either way.. they can’t hide from one another and that makes their next meeting so… so special and important and intense and all of the other things. I simply cannot wait.

Knowing how the episode ended, I didn’t think I’d appreciate Eve and Kenny’s scene together so much. It’s so deep and sincere and reveals a lot about what happened and where they are separately and together. I’m glad their first and last interaction this season was a light, positive one. They even talked about getting beers at the office during weekends. And knowing that.. Kenny was basically the only person who understood Eve and where she’s coming from, his death is exactly what can and WILL push Eve forward in investigating the Twelve and eventually reuniting with Villanelle. Back to S1, when Bill was killed, Eve was so determined to catch Villanelle and ‘kill her with her bare hands’ that no one seemed to be able to stop her. So this time… will be similar to it, if not even greater. 

Villanelle

Soo… Oksana wants to be a Keeper. Oksana the Keeper! It actually makes sense to some extent, that she will eventually want to get a ‘higher’ position in the industry and why not be the Keeper then. She has always wanted power and control and Keepers have that. They hold valuable information about the organisation that no one else knows. It’s a very important and dangerous position too. I can see why she’d want to be a Keeper, and not only that… she is still curious about who is in charge. How the whole system works. Though, at the same time.. knowing Villanelle, this might get tricky. She’s still very childish and impulsive and all other things.. she still needs to be handled by someone. That’s why I’m a bit concerned that if she ends up becoming a Keeper or having to handle other assassins (which she will, in next episode), things will go terribly wrong. I hope I’m wrong about this, because god, do I want to see Villanelle as a Keeper and continue being the top boss bitch in the industry.

Her confidence continues to fascinate me. Especially her confidence around Dasha. She knows she’s better than her and that’s all there is to it. Not only she says it but she proves that by her first kill this season. I honestly can’t wait to see her future kills, because so far it looks very promising.

Konstantin

Only a couple of scenes of the show’s dad this episode. Apparently he has several phones which he is struggling to deal with. He’s living several lives and that shows. In S2 he was all determined to get back to his family. But what we see in this episode is that he’s not with his family anymore. He’s working again. And based on Irina’s voice mail, he and his wife are separated. His wife has a boyfriend now and Irina is there with them. (I hope they will bring her back, what an iconic, hilarious yet annoying child) 

Konstantin receives several shady messages, one of which reads “time to go fishing”. It can mean literally anything. But for some reason I’m feeling that they want us to think he had something to do with Kenny’s death. It could be him, it could be an assassin Konstantin is handling right now. Or it’s not him at all, but we believe it’s him based of what we saw so far. Too many questions and not enough answers so far. 

He was the Twelve’s target back in S1 and had to stay low during S2 as a “dead man” so now.. I’m not really sure what his status is. Some of us saw the leaked photos of S3 finale and what might possibly happen… and that just brings me back to my previous point of Carolyn and Konstantin being the Twelve’s targets this season. Will they survive? And if they do… how? If they don’t… does that mean Villanelle and Eve will now be completely by their own and possibly on a run from the Twelve?!

Kenny

There’s not really much to say here. We ALL loved our dear Kenny. He’s probably the most innocent character on the show and he had to go. Now, I don’t believe his death was done for shock value. Not his character. A huge, meaningful character had to die in order for the rest of characters to get moving. For the entire story to move forward. They are setting up a serious plot here and I am excited, despite being really upset about Kenny’s death. 

I think Eve will be the mostly affected character in the show by his death. Carolyn doesn’t seem to be very affectonate towards her son, but hopefully it will make her realize just how big of a trouble she in. Eve, however, will be forced to get back to investigate the Twelve and she will not stop until she does so. She’s all by herself now. The determination, the anger as well as other feelings will drive her this season to get the much needed answers and get to the bottom of the whole thing. Meanwhile… Villanelle seeks information and control as well. She is trying to investigate the Twelve in her own way. So why not pair them up?

Overall thoughts

As many have said it, the episode felt different to me as well. I think that’s mostly because we have set our standards so high, that we immediately become disappointed if the episode doesn’t deliver as much murder, Eve/Villanelle scenes or something else we might be expecting in particular. 

I found myself wanting to compare the episode with other seasons and that is a mistake. We shouldn’t be comparing it because previous season had different plot, the overall feeling was different and the characters weren’t as developed as they are now. Furthermore, the show runner changes each season and that is what we need to look at. Phoebe and Emerald have done incedible job during those first two seasons but now it’s Suzanne’s time to shine. All three of them are different people and have different ideas and views as to how they see the characters and where they want to take them. So I think we might need to “forget” the previous two seasons and be way more open minded when it comes to third season. After all it’s the most personal one and it has a different feel to it. It’s more serious, and it is setting up an actual plot for the series. It’s a good thing. And as much as we hate changes like these… I think we should embrace them this time and let the show go in the direction it is going without the need to criticize it or control it. 

I’m beyond excited to see how everything will unfold and where this season will take us. Based on all the trailers and interviews I’ve seen so far… this will be a one helld of a ride and I am NOT prepared for it!

If any of you reached this point, you seriously deserve an applause! Hopeuflly you enjoyed reading my nonsense lol! Let me know if you’d like me to write a review for the next episode, because I do have plans for writing for the entire season, but it’s always better when I have an audience to write for! 

Now if you have any theories or thoughts don’t be shy to comment or message me so we could chat about it! I’d love nothing more than a good conversation about the show we have a common obsession for! 

I’m the mother to a wonderful 7 week old, and at times I get sad because I don’t know what he wants when he’s crying and I’ve done everything possible for him, and I come to the conclusion that maybe it’s just me.

I’m very calm with him, I love him, I smile sweetly at him, I say to him that I understand that there’s a divide between us and I wish I could help him more as I kiss his chubby cheeks. And when he calms down, if he calms down, I hug him close until he falls asleep, and I but him down in his bassinet. I stare at him in such awe that I’m in love with this little creature, that when I sit down and focus on my breath, I realize that I’m dying a little on the inside.

My child breaks me everyday, but when he looks at me and focuses on me, I pick myself up again and start all over.

I realize I’m very hard on myself, but with my history, I gravitate towards it because it’s my punishment. I’ll admit that I love my child more than myself, that I care about him more than myself, but I’ll keep going because he needs me, and I need him.

I need him.

THE CHILDREN’S HOUR (1961) dir. William Wyler.

I have no words. This is art and I’m here to look and admire it. I’m speechless, it’s beautiful.

Artist Luo Li Rong

Damn fortune cookies

Since when did fortune cookies dole out condescending life advice rather than give out fortunes?

The Asian in me is greatly disappointed, and very much judges you. I mean, I once got a fortune with no fortune, and another time a fortune with nothing written on it...that happened like 3 times in my life.

Also the Asian in me, “I’m super annoyed at you, but do you want food?”

Henry Lloyd-Hughes talks about saving Jodie Comer’s life during the pasta incident

More please. I need more story.

The Mermaid of Lily Lake by Andy Ivanov

I’m really taken by these caps lol… I’ve actually been thinking about them recently because the title “God, I’m tired” really makes itself felt here when both Eve and Villanelle close their eyes while lying side by side on the bed. Sure, in doing so both of them sharpen these very naive edges around their actions, saturated with the fact that Eve means to “kill” Villanelle whereas Villanelle is out to “watch” her, but there is something about how readily they still share that space - however small it may be - and have these sincere moments. I mean… these caps look peaceful out of context, despite Villanelle holding a gun.

They actually just might as well be because even when Eve’s reserved, “Yes,” to Villanelle’s, “You’ve found me,” sounds nebulously raging… she still manages to simply laugh when Villanelle praises her, “Well done”. And the fact that Villanelle, in return, has to do the same (ever caught her quick breathy chuckle? It’s short and yall should hear it). It’s such a specific response to that realization. It’s paltable, genuine and cocky and Eve can’t help herself but sink into it. What a brilliant choice to underscore their love language tbh.

Mu-hmmmm

Mini compilation of Jodie Comer not getting over Eve stabbing Villanelle

I Have (Another) Thing About Bathtubs

AO3 Link

Summary: In the alternate ending season 2, happy and on the run, Villanelle decides she wants a do-over of the last time she had Eve on her back in a bathtub. [Explicit, kind of kinky…so heads up - villanelle may be soft but she also knows how to dom]

Eve was laying in the bathtub relaxing, eyes closed, her dark hair floating around her like a cloud. Villanelle didn’t make a single sound as she slipped in the bathroom and slid into the water, settling on top of Eve.

Keep reading

If anyone is looking for a terrifying non-fiction book to read I recommend Voices From Chernobyl. Svetlana Alexievich is a journalist who interviewed more than 500 eyewitnesses, including firefighters, liquidators (members of the cleanup team), politicians, physicians, physicists, and ordinary citizens, over a period of 10 years. The book explores the experiences of individuals and how the disaster affected their lives. You will read things in here that will haunt you for day. (Here’s PDF version) (Last Book Suggestion)

“[Jodie is a] dance partner who knows a couple of moves you don’t. Villanelle is a very unpredictable character. And I think Jodie has been able to find freedom in acting in playing someone like that. It makes for wonderful spontaneity. It’s like you see them in a box together. There’s a scene at the end of the season that is extremely physical. It was tough to shoot because we had to do it in tiny pieces. But at the end of it, something happened quite spontaneously; it was not scripted, which I think changed a lot of the meaning in the scene between us. And it’s in some ways a way that Villanelle expresses her care for me. I’ll leave it at that.” - Sandra Oh (x)

“I love you. You’re mine.”

When this episode started, from the moment Villanelle said “gentleman” and Eve panicked, and immediately shot to the door, to get to her, to help her, I knew that this final piece of the puzzle would all be driven forward by two things and two things only ; misconstruction and feelings.

Misconstruction. Misunderstanding. Miscommunication.

It’s the biggest, most important part of Eve’s and Villanelle’s relationship, always there, underlying their every interaction, fueled by denial (from Eve) and struggle (from Villanelle). This has been true for a while. I’ve always thought of Eve and Villanelle as two parallel lines. They may be moving towards the same direction, they may be similar, they may be close - but they rarely join at a point. When they try to, something happens, something goes off or something’s missing.

But they do clash, eventually.

This has happened only two times in this show : in the first season finale, when they meet at a point - quite literally, the pointy end of Villanelle’s knife as it’s plunged straight into her gut by Eve herself, and now, in the second season finale, as Villanelle’s emotion drains from her eyes and she pulls the trigger coldly, Eve falling to her demise.

And to get there, to Villanelle shooting the only thing she truly seems like she ever cared for, we are driven by a series of misunderstandings. The epitome of two characters not being on the same page.

From the start, Eve runs to Villanelle to save her, but Villanelle never really intended to be rescued. Eve thinks Villanelle could kill her, but Villanelle was never planning that even when she asked her. Eve is worried, she wants to run to get help, to save the mission but Villanelle has moved on, she’s ready to leave it all behind already, grab Eve and just go. And then Eve stops, and she shouts at Villanelle, and Villanelle realizes that they’re very much not on the same page, so she also stops. She makes an effort, she wants to join Eve, clash into one. But Eve then moves forward, literally leaving Villanelle behind, to meet later.

Later. They see each other again. Villanelle is being choked to death, and Eve has to make a choice, a terrible choice, and Villanelle manipulates her into finishing the job. When Eve does it, we realize that she’s never looked more like Villanelle, she’s never felt more like Villanelle, and Villanelle feels the same, gets excited. In so many ways, they’re so much closer now than they have ever been, and yet, without realizing it, Villanelle has literally never been further from Eve. Moving too fast, moving on already (“slow down” Eve said), because again, there’s a massive misconstruction there : Villanelle thought that Eve was ready to feel a life lose its light underneath her, but Eve is lost, afloat, blank. Her world is crumbling underneath her feet and Villanelle, though tedious in her efforts to anchor Eve to reality, to meet her at one point, to finally leave the parallels and just be, fails, (notice how Villanelle tried to touch Eve several times, leaned in, smiled, and Eve rejected her) because the distance between them, inadvertently, is too big now.

Later. Villanelle is moving, and so is Eve. Villanelle thinks that Eve is moving with her, that they’re together, that they’ve met at that point when she offers dinner and Eve answers, simply, “spagghetti”. And though she realizes that not everything is okay, she believes that everything will be okay.

But Eve doesn’t. Eve is going through the motions; in reality she’s not even there with Villanelle, but mechanically, she’s moving.

And then. Boy… oh boy.

What leads to the showdown between her and Villanelle is one more, one last, goddamn misunderstanding. This time, we know this misconstruction, we’re familiar with it. It has been there since day one. The whole show is built on it.

“I love you. You love me. You’re mine.”

Villanelle does love Eve. Villanelle thinks Eve loves Villanelle. She’s drawn connections. She’s perceived their relationship as one thing, she’s calculated every interaction the only way she knows, she shows her care the only way she knows, she thinks she did Eve a favour. She doesn’t understand why Eve is angry. She doesn’t understand why Eve rejects her. She doesn’t understand.

She thought it would be okay.

But Eve knows it won’t. Eve doesn’t see what Villanelle feels as love. Eve doesn’t feel good about killing the man. Eve does not know what she feels for Villanelle. Eve was not ready, and she’s not ready to run away with Villanelle either (denial) while Villanelle is clearly rushing to catch up, to find Eve, to get to that single, mutual point, before she loses Eve. You can see the clogs turn in her mind (struggle).

She screams, she shouts at Eve, she’s trying to figure it out, she’s trying to find the glitch in the plan, the miscalculation. She’s trying.

But they’re too far away now. Once more, Eve, in her own attempts to interpret the situation, to understand it, misconstrues. She tells Villanelle she got what she wanted, that they’re same now. But Villanelle hasn’t got what she wanted. Sure she thinks they were the same and she loves that, but what she really wants, is Eve.

And when Eve walks away, unresponsive to Villanelle, telling her that she doesn’t understand what love is, crying, ignoring Villanelle’s plea, for the first time in so LONG they are finally on the same page.

It’s not going to be okay. They are parallel lines, they are too far away, they can see the burning bridge between them now.

And when Villanelle realizes, when Villanelle finally catches up, she feels it, and she does what she does best. She shoots. Her eyes follows Eve’s body as it crashes to the floor. And in that moment, in that one single most painful moment I’ve had to experience from a TV show in AGES, the two of them clash, they finally meet in one point, ironically, a point we, as viewers never wanted them to reach and even more ironically, a point they’ve met at before, a season ago.

True to her character till the end, Villanelle walks away (again), and the lines brutally separate (again).

We are left behind to pick the shattered pieces of our own hearts and wait a year for those lines to ever have the sliver of a chance to get back to each other again.

…Good luck lads.

It’s Mother’s Day coming up, so I’m thinking of all the women in my life and all the awesome roles they play (mothers, non-mothers, and never-mothers alike).

http://everythingisgoingtobeokcomic.com/well-behaved-women

I have a bit of a silly thought about puddles. Maybe puddles are a glimpse into another world. You can only see it through water, and once it dries up, the portal into the other world disappears. Maybe this is why natural disasters happen. Maybe someone is jumping into a puddle happily and giddily not knowing they are being a districtive force. Maybe this is why natural disasters happen every once in a while. Perhaps we don’t know our own force. Perhaps, someone is jumping into a puddle and causing chaos on our world. Thoughts?

This will forever be my favorite meme.

The amount of messages telling me to watch Blackwater Gospel. 

It is a dark, creepy animation about an angry priest who rages at a man that doesn’t believe what he believes. 

The analogy to the real world is astounding. 

This animation is violent however. Viewer discretion is advised. 

WATCH HERE

LAST RECOMMENDATION: ZERO

Voting is doing something. Even though it seems fruitless at times, and it feels like it’s one step forward and two steps back, it’s still a step forward.

Yummy in my tummy.

Begotten is a 1991 Experimental/horror film, directed and written by E. Elias Merhige. The film heavily deals with religion and the biblical story of the Creation. This gory and entirely visual film tells the surreal tale of the death and rebirth of gods.

Creative rings made by AlpacaBlue.They make wide smooth band ring made with preserved real dried red rose petals or moss.  Featured here is the moss ring, rose ring, and the amethyst gemstone ring, 

Friends, follow me on instagram as I’ll be posting more on there: instagram.com/sixpenceee

Describing an orgasm...

Sometimes it’s hard to describe things.  It’s hard to pinpoint an exact moment.  It’s difficult to articulate your myriad of emotions.  It’s impossible to tell someone how it feels to die a little.  Whenever my husband asks me to describe my orgasm (he asks me every few months or so), I hit this dilemma.  I don’t know what to say, other than that it feels good.

Hopefully by writing it down, I can better comprehend what my orgasm feels like.  Here are the intimate details, enjoy:

Usually for me to orgasm, my husband performs oral sex on me.  He likes to call it, “licking.”  Sometimes one of us will turn to the other and say, “wanna lick?”

Before he starts licking, he likes to put mints in his mouth (Shout out to Starbucks mints), usually about 8, or more, and to the point where the coldness and mint flavor/smell permeates the room. I open my legs to him, and he likes to blow on my clit, and I squirm and giggle/groan a little because the minty freshness makes my clit cold, and I become wet waiting in anticipation.

Side Note: Sometimes he’ll rattle the case of mints, and I become wet like Pavlov’s dog drooling when he hears the sound of a bell waiting for a treat.  It’s especially embarrassing when he does it in public, and I have to cross my legs.  Mostly he does it by accident, but still, I’ve been conditioned, so to speak.

I lie back as he starts licking with his minty fresh breath.  Depending on how hydrated I am, is determined on how fast I orgasm.  If I’m well hydrated, I can come in about 20+ minutes, if not, it takes about 35-40 minutes, but my husband won’t stop until I come.

I start feeling shortness of breath about 5 minutes in. In the 20-40 minute span of him licking me, I have multiple mini orgasms, but that’s not what we’re here for.  We’re here for the grand finale of orgasms. Sometimes before I have a mini orgasm, he’ll stop licking and say, “Nope, not yet,” and I groan, and push his head back down as he chuckles.

As my body reaches towards the finale, I’m pretty much exhausted. I’m all sweaty, and my toes ache. But I know, and he knows, that we’re not done yet. 5 minutes before the finale, things happen to my body.

My body begins to feel like fire. It begins to hurt, it begins to shake, it begins to beg for a certain release. My back begins to arch, aching. My fingers begin to grasp the side of the bed, trying to hold on to something solid, but they usually ending up cupping a breast, and one wrapped around my neck, feeling the strain of it. My knees begin to cramp from the position its in.  My clit becomes so sensitive, I want him to stop licking, and keep licking forever. 

When I feel my clit become more sensitive, I’ll whisper out, “softer,” and he’ll gently poke at my clit, and when I say, “more, harder,” he’ll lick faster and rub his stubbly chin into my clit, and here is where it all changes.

My eyes will open, and all I can see is a kaleidoscope of color, I see fire, I see heaven and hell, I see my past and future. I stop breathing. I feel my stomach tighten up, and back straighten out, and my head fall back, and my fists balled up. And right when I feel like I’m about to die, I feel this different kind of heat in my clit, and I feel a pressure, a pressure like I have to pee, and I know, that this is it, the feeling of having to urinate is the big indicator for me that my orgasm will be a big one.

I start to convulse, I make a noise that both embarrasses me and excites me, a noise that I could never replicate in a normal setting, I grab at my chest, I grab his head, both pulling away and pushing him closer, and I weep.  I weep for the feeling that this euphoric feeling of death and life could be taken from me at any moment.  In about 2 minutes, my orgasm is over, and as I push him away, weakly saying, “please stop,” over an over, he’ll finally get up, and go to the bathroom to clean his face. While he’s in the bathroom, I’ll say over and over, “I’m dying, I’m dying, oh my God, I’m dying,” as I get orgasm aftershocks that wrack my body, as I lay in a fetal position, trying to catch my breath between each orgasm.

My husband will climb into bed, cuddle me and say, “you’re ok, you’re here, you’re fine,” as I come down from whatever cliff I was balancing on.

Then we’ll lay there for a while, chatting, caressing each other, and we’ll kiss, and then he’ll ask me, “are you ready, are you ok?” And I’ll say I’m fine, and we’ll begin to make love.

If you’ve made it this far, I hope you enjoyed the anatomy of my orgasm. I hope I haven’t bored you. Now, go forth and have many orgasms.  Maybe if you want, describe your orgasms in the comment section below. Lets compare notes.

Brings me joy.

Classic Hollywood Bloopers

Heavenly

Florence and the Machine at last night’s Spotify event in Brooklyn. As Florence began to sing Sky Full of Song a literal storm began to hit, she never faltered and embraced the storm.

This makes me want to fall in love all over again with my husband, just so I can truly take in our love, and not let it pass by. I want to start savoring my love for him.

Your wife changes her hair color every season and her personality adjusts slightly. You’re secretly only in love with Autumn wife. She just came home sporting her Winter color.