This Makes Me Want To Fall In Love All Over Again With My Husband, Just So I Can Truly Take In Our Love,

I totally agree!!

You...

Are the master of yourself

XENA

I guess you guys want to see the marriage proposal from where I was sitting?

Am I right?

Describing an orgasm...

Sometimes it’s hard to describe things.  It’s hard to pinpoint an exact moment.  It’s difficult to articulate your myriad of emotions.  It’s impossible to tell someone how it feels to die a little.  Whenever my husband asks me to describe my orgasm (he asks me every few months or so), I hit this dilemma.  I don’t know what to say, other than that it feels good.

Hopefully by writing it down, I can better comprehend what my orgasm feels like.  Here are the intimate details, enjoy:

Usually for me to orgasm, my husband performs oral sex on me.  He likes to call it, “licking.”  Sometimes one of us will turn to the other and say, “wanna lick?”

Before he starts licking, he likes to put mints in his mouth (Shout out to Starbucks mints), usually about 8, or more, and to the point where the coldness and mint flavor/smell permeates the room. I open my legs to him, and he likes to blow on my clit, and I squirm and giggle/groan a little because the minty freshness makes my clit cold, and I become wet waiting in anticipation.

Side Note: Sometimes he’ll rattle the case of mints, and I become wet like Pavlov’s dog drooling when he hears the sound of a bell waiting for a treat.  It’s especially embarrassing when he does it in public, and I have to cross my legs.  Mostly he does it by accident, but still, I’ve been conditioned, so to speak.

I lie back as he starts licking with his minty fresh breath.  Depending on how hydrated I am, is determined on how fast I orgasm.  If I’m well hydrated, I can come in about 20+ minutes, if not, it takes about 35-40 minutes, but my husband won’t stop until I come.

I start feeling shortness of breath about 5 minutes in. In the 20-40 minute span of him licking me, I have multiple mini orgasms, but that’s not what we’re here for.  We’re here for the grand finale of orgasms. Sometimes before I have a mini orgasm, he’ll stop licking and say, “Nope, not yet,” and I groan, and push his head back down as he chuckles.

As my body reaches towards the finale, I’m pretty much exhausted. I’m all sweaty, and my toes ache. But I know, and he knows, that we’re not done yet. 5 minutes before the finale, things happen to my body.

My body begins to feel like fire. It begins to hurt, it begins to shake, it begins to beg for a certain release. My back begins to arch, aching. My fingers begin to grasp the side of the bed, trying to hold on to something solid, but they usually ending up cupping a breast, and one wrapped around my neck, feeling the strain of it. My knees begin to cramp from the position its in.  My clit becomes so sensitive, I want him to stop licking, and keep licking forever. 

When I feel my clit become more sensitive, I’ll whisper out, “softer,” and he’ll gently poke at my clit, and when I say, “more, harder,” he’ll lick faster and rub his stubbly chin into my clit, and here is where it all changes.

My eyes will open, and all I can see is a kaleidoscope of color, I see fire, I see heaven and hell, I see my past and future. I stop breathing. I feel my stomach tighten up, and back straighten out, and my head fall back, and my fists balled up. And right when I feel like I’m about to die, I feel this different kind of heat in my clit, and I feel a pressure, a pressure like I have to pee, and I know, that this is it, the feeling of having to urinate is the big indicator for me that my orgasm will be a big one.

I start to convulse, I make a noise that both embarrasses me and excites me, a noise that I could never replicate in a normal setting, I grab at my chest, I grab his head, both pulling away and pushing him closer, and I weep.  I weep for the feeling that this euphoric feeling of death and life could be taken from me at any moment.  In about 2 minutes, my orgasm is over, and as I push him away, weakly saying, “please stop,” over an over, he’ll finally get up, and go to the bathroom to clean his face. While he’s in the bathroom, I’ll say over and over, “I’m dying, I’m dying, oh my God, I’m dying,” as I get orgasm aftershocks that wrack my body, as I lay in a fetal position, trying to catch my breath between each orgasm.

My husband will climb into bed, cuddle me and say, “you’re ok, you’re here, you’re fine,” as I come down from whatever cliff I was balancing on.

Then we’ll lay there for a while, chatting, caressing each other, and we’ll kiss, and then he’ll ask me, “are you ready, are you ok?” And I’ll say I’m fine, and we’ll begin to make love.

If you’ve made it this far, I hope you enjoyed the anatomy of my orgasm. I hope I haven’t bored you. Now, go forth and have many orgasms.  Maybe if you want, describe your orgasms in the comment section below. Lets compare notes.

We mean something...

It's 1:46 AM right now, and I'm just simply not tired. At this hour, I am thoughtful, I see the world through fresh eyes.  We are beings living in a big blob of chaos, we have no control over anything, but what we see before us. 

Actually, I just got really tired.  This being must go to sleep now before things get weird.

Truth!

When binge watching OINTB hasn’t let you sleep for days. Source: Nerdgasm

I'm sorry...

Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm sorry I never appreciated you while I was growing up.  I'm sorry that I didn't see the sacrifices that you made for me, as Asian immigrants.  I hated you when you would embarrass me in front of my friends or in public when you'd speak to me in Chinese. 

I hated that I was Chinese at one point in my life, and I'm so sorry for that, I'm deeply shamed by that now.  I was embarrassed by my heritage, and all I wanted was a normal life as a white American.  I wanted that so much that I prayed for it.  I hated my eyes, my skin color, and my general look of not looking Anglo Saxon American. 

I'm sorry that for that one year, I acted white, like I didn't understand Chinese, or refused to eat anything Asian.  I'm sorry I made you worry.  I'm sorry for myself, because for that one year, I could've learned so much. 

Growing up, I deeply resented you two to my bone.  You two worked so hard, accomplished so much, but it fell on blind eyes, and deaf ears.  You two were never home, and it was up to my brother to take care of me, which he used to resent me for as well.  I loved him so much, and he never really returned that love.  It must've felt like that for you too. 

I'm sorry that I don't trust you two, enough to share this with you.  That you won't really understand what I'm saying, or out right deny everything I'm sharing.  I'm sorry that you'll never know.

I'm sorry for everything that I've said that made you feel anything other than happiness, and I'm sorry for what I'll say to you in the future that make you feel anything other than happiness.  Such is the way of life, and not everybody is meant to die happy.

Seasons change, and friends move away, and life goes on from day to day, but I do know for a fact, that I love the both of you so much, so much that I'd rather die than see you both in a grave.  I want to thank you, and apologize for being so difficult at times, but I know, also for a fact, that your love is boundless, and beyond the farthest star.

Love

Wei Shing

If anyone is looking for a terrifying non-fiction book to read I recommend Voices From Chernobyl. Svetlana Alexievich is a journalist who interviewed more than 500 eyewitnesses, including firefighters, liquidators (members of the cleanup team), politicians, physicians, physicists, and ordinary citizens, over a period of 10 years. The book explores the experiences of individuals and how the disaster affected their lives. You will read things in here that will haunt you for day. (Here’s PDF version) (Last Book Suggestion)

Smoking

I had my first cigarette in high school. Some gay guy taught me how to do it.