Midoriya Angst - Blog Posts

upgrade pt.1

pro hero! midoriya izuku x fem!reader⋆｡°✩ — most of izu's arm has been amputated, hurt comfort, swearing, 4k words, resources used linked at the end, non-mha characters are made-up

pt.2, pt.3, epilogue

You were stirring tofu curry in your kitchen. It’s delicious scent curling up your nostrils, tendrils seeking your body and your home. The television was playing in the back. Sliced spring onions freshly chopped on the wooden chopping board next to the stove. You were humming softly to yourself your favourite song.

Today was the day that your pookie bear, Izuku, was coming back from his month long mission. It had been a gruelling four weeks of rushed phone calls.

Quick “How’s your day been? and even quicker “I love you’s”. You missed his nerdy talk about all the latest heroes new moves and how much he still admires All Might, his cuddles and warm hands on your tummy when it was that time of the month.

You missed how he would always try to pick you up from work, clad in a face mask and Dynamight’s new merch. You missed making dinner together. You missed waking up together whenever you two slept together (cause separate beds in relationships is superior convince me otherwise).

He had been on an undercover mission to bring an underground quirk breeding organisation to justice. The fact that those still existed sent shivers down your spine. One time, you had asked him over call what it was like, being so close to all of that.

To which he dodged with, “It’s what heroes are expected to deal with, so don’t worry about it honey.” You probably shouldn’t have asked as all mission information is classified until the news gets their grimy hands on it. But, it still had taken you back that he didn’t want to talk about it.

But, you know that when he gets home, he’ll be tired but he’ll want to talk. And you’ll sit there, looking up to him, reminded of how strong he is and of how hard he works to protect you, to protect all of Japan. Speaking of which, he should be home by now.

Plucking you from your daze is the reporter’s voice shouting into her mic, “Breaking News!” You turn around, seeing her standing in front of Central Hospital on the small television screen.

“Japan’s Number One Pro Hero ‘Deku’ severely injured during quirk breeding rescue mission.” Your mind goes blank. You rush over to the TV, grabbing the remote, turning the volume up, and plonking down on the tan sofa.

You watch as footage comes on screen, showing Deku, outside of what looks to be an on-fire night club, surrounded by several villains in coordinated suits. Dynamight’s explosions can be heard in the back muffling the screams of girls chained and barely clothed who are being taken out of the building, covered in soot and coughing, by Shoto and Ingenium.

You watch intently as the villains lung at your hero. He dodges, expertly, using the intricacies of One For All to knock them unconscious. As gentlemanly as ever, even when he fights.

But it’s not enough. You continue watching, enraptured by the fight, as the reporter continues, “Pro Hero ‘Deku’, along with other heroes like Japan’s Number Two ‘Dynamight’, Number Three ‘Shoto’, and ‘Ingenuim’ have been on an undercover mission investigating quirk breeding auctions in downtown Tokyo’s underground night clubs for the past month. Tonight, things went awry as Dynamight engages, fed up with the secrecy of the mission, dragging the pro heroes into an intense fight with the villains orchestrating this conspiracy.”

“Of course it’s fucking Dynamight,” you mumble under your breath.

Deku’s now taking five villains at once when the left side of the building collapses due to the flames. It had been the entrance, where Shoto and Ingenium had been hauling out what you assume to be the victims of this scheme.

Shoto hands the young girl in his arms to one the firefighters at scene before turning around and yelling to Deku, “There’s still one more left in the building.”

Your hands have begun to shake. The suspense is wracking your nervous system.

“Deku attempts to dash back into the building when the villains he was just fighting jump onto him—”

They drag him to the ground, delivering some serious blows to his torso. The left side of the building further crumbles in on itself.

“Approaching Deku is another villain known to authorities as ‘Bon Appétit’. Quirk is knife.” Bon Appétit’s arms are comprised of different knives and swords, jutting out, sharp and glinting evilly. You cringe and yelp as the villain thrusts the blades into Deku’s left arm.

“Reeling from this blow, Deku uses One For All at what sources suspect to be full capacity, to fend off the villains and rescue the victim inside. Emerging—” The video pauses on a shot of him, girl on his back, left arm bloodied and dangling limply. From what you can see from the awful lighting, shaky cameraman, and torn shreds of Deku’s suit, his flesh is torn and skin (beneath the blood) has gone purple. No! “Deku’s left arm appears to be severely injured.”

The broadcast cuts back to the reporter outside of Central Hospital. There are a flurry of reporters and police surrounding the entrance to the hospital. She stands with her back to them and continues, “Pro Hero Deku was taken to Central Hospital to be treated shortly after 7pm. Our cameras caught—”

A video of an ambulance pulling up to the entrance plays on screen. Once it’s stopped, Deku is ushered out, flanked by paramedics. Dynamight steps out after him, shouting a string of censored curses and insults after broccoli boy in front—

“footage of Pro Hero ‘Deku’ being escorted by ambulance here with Dynamight and Shoto following suit. Love and support is being poured out by fans to Deku and his family tonight for his swift recovery. Hirota Miu, TBS Television.”

You sit there, hunched over, elbows on knees, shell-shocked. You don’t know how much time passes after the broadcast before you hear your phone ringing. You grab it from the low coffee table in front of you, clicking the green phone icon and bringing it to your ear reflexively.

“Miss [l/n], this is Dr Kita from Central Hospital. Deku gave us your details as his emergency contact.” You blink… and blink again. What? “Deku’s been seriously injured in his recent fight. He’s being prepared for emergency surgery on his left arm right now. You’re welcome to come in and visit once he’s out. The procedure should take 60 to 90 minutes. Just come to the front desk and give your information to the receptionists, and they’ll direct you.”

You stare out the window, looking at all the lights sparkling from above and below your apartment. How could everything seem so peaceful right now when your partner, your hero, was going in for emergency surgery?

“Yes I’ll, um, I’ll be right there. Um…”

“Is there anything else, Miss [l/n]?” You stayed quiet for a few seconds, trying to think of what to say.

“No, sorry. I’ll be right there.”

“See you soon then, Miss [l/n].”

You move routinely, going to your bedroom to put on a bra before lacing up some sneakers, throwing on one of Izuku’s hoodies over your t-shirt and mini shorts, and grabbing your bag. You leave your apartment hastily and practically run to the station, taking it to the one closest to Central Hospital.

There are no words to describe how you feel. Your heart is pounding hard in your chest, and not from the exercise. Your skin is crawling with anxiety. Your shirt clings to the sweat dripping down your back, and every so often you wipe your sweat-laced palms on your shorts.

Your thoughts consist of “Is he okay?”, “Why is he going into emergency surgery?”, “That idiot, I told him never to use One For All at 100% because it could lead to some serious damage! He knows that. Why would he risk it?! The blow from that villain was bad enough, why did he have to…?”, and the like. One thought triggers the next, an endless cycle until Central Hospital is towering above your small figure.

You keep it calm and steady as you walk into the lobby. The receptionist greets you and tell her your name and why you’re here. She nods knowingly, not bothering to confirm details and telling you to take the elevator to level 3.

You follow her directions, down the hall and to the left. You’re met with dull blue double doors. The sign above reading ‘Recovery Room’. You push it open, involuntarily inviting numerous stares from doctors, nurses, and recovering patients who are conscious.

A tall, lanky man comes over to you, dressed in slacks and white lab coat. He has a clip board in hand. “I’m Dr Kita. You must be Miss [l/n]. We spoke on the phone.” You nod, trying to gulp down your nerves.

“Mr Midoriya’s surgery will be finished in about,” Dr Kita looks down at his silver watch, “an hour. You’re free to walk around, get some snacks or something. Visiting hours end at 8pm, but I’ll make an exception for you.” He smiles gently at you. You nod and thank him before looking away from him, thinking about how you were going to kill time.

You felt sick to your stomach, knowing that your boyfriend was undergoing surgery at the moment. What else could you possibly think about but that?

“Actually, Dr Kita, I’d like to just wait here.” You look back up at him. He has jet black hair tied neatly into a low bun. His rectangle glasses slip ever-so-slightly down his nose, behind which sleek brown eyes stare at you with a look of understanding.

“You can’t wait in the recovery room but you can wait outside. We’ll call you in once Mr Midoriya’s is out of surgery.”

Your response is a whisper, “Oh… okay.” You look down to your feet, shoulders slumping. Quickly, you pick yourself back up, raising your head back up and asking, “So, I’ll just wait in the corridor?”

Dr Kita nods and says, “That’s fine.”

You turn to leave before realising that you hadn’t even been told what surgery Izuku was undergoing. You turn back around, noticing that Dr Kita hadn’t moved an inch. “What’s his surgery for?”

Long, slender fingers push the glasses back up his hooked nose. He sighs, “Unfortunately, Mr Midoriya’s left arm has suffered trauma beyond repair. The decision was made to amputate part of his arm.” Your mouth falls open. Amputate. His. Left. Arm?

“And who made that decision?” Dr Kita shifts under your piercing gaze. You make a mental note to apologise later for staring daggers into him.

“The trauma surgeon did. He’s in there right now performing the procedure on Mr Midoriya. I understand that this may come as a shock, but he explained to me that it was necessary and urgent to amputate Mr Midoriya’s left arm as the tissues in his forearm and hand were damaged severely. Mr Midoriya was losing too much blood and some bones in the forearm had been shattered. There is too much damage and danger to simply reset the bones and stitch him up. The surgeon’s doing what he can to salvage what’s left of Mr Midoriya’s arm.”

Are you actually hearing this right now? Is this real? Are you actually in the hospital right now, hearing a doctor tell you that Izu-chan’s arm is to be amputated? Did you turn off the curry before leaving? Fuck.

“Do you mean that the whole arm won’t be amputated?” You ask.

“It’s possible that the whole left arm won’t be amputated. The main damage was done at the forearm and elbow.” Dr Kita’s tone was fairly dead-pan. But you’re not thinking about how many patients he must of seen in similar or worse situations, or the worst situations. All you’re thinking about is your boyfriend who might be losing most of his arm right now.

You gulp and say, “I see… Thank you for clarifying. I’ll, um, I’ll go wait outside now.” Dr Kita nods in acknowledgement before you spin on your heel and take your leave.

For the next hour, you pace back and forth, up and down the hallways of level 3. You check your phone every five minutes, making sure that you have enough time for another lap of the level. After one painstaking, anxiety-inducing, palm-sweaty hour, you’re standing outside of the recovery room, waiting to be called in.

You’ve been thinking it over… just how will it be, Izuku without his left arm. He’ll be devastated. He confided in you soon after you two first started dating that one of his biggest fears was pushing his body beyond its’ limits. He wanted to protect people, to be an incredible hero, and he would do anything to achieve that. He was afraid that one day, he would go too far and he wouldn’t be able to come back from that. And then, he wouldn’t be able to protect people anymore. How would he react, knowing that part of that fear had become reality? What would this mean for his hero career? For your relationship?

Even as this new reality dawned on you, not once did you even consider leaving him. How could you? He was the man that you were so deeply in love with. You two were discussing marriage just before he left for that mission. Oh, why did he have to go on that mission?!

He means so much to you. He’s been there for you at some of your hardest times, like when you first moved to Japan to pursue a career at the front of biomedical engineering. Or when the public had found out about you two and had bullied you relentlessly for your quirk due to it’s similarities to All For One’s. It was all the tabloids could talk about for the entire week, before Izuku had released a statement under his agency, clarifying the differences between your quirks and re-affirming his love and trust in you.

He had been the reason that your life in Japan had become so much more inclusive, joyful, and prosperous. Hell, he had even taught you Japanese at the beginning of your relationship, and continues to help you whenever there’s an expression or word that you don’t understand.

That All Might otaku has been there for you through everything. If that had been you. If you had lost your arm. He wouldn’t even consider the possibility of breaking up with you. How could you?

“Miss [l/n].” You’re brought out of your thoughts, seeing one of the nurses peaking out from behind the recovery room doors. It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. “He’s out.”

You rush over to her, entering when she pushes the door open for you and thanking her. And then, you spot ruffled deep green curls crowding a peaceful looking face. He’s still asleep. You let out a breath.

You follow the nurse over to the side of his bed, where you notice some other doctors in slacks. Dr Kita comes over almost immediately after you do. You’re by Izuku’s side, watching him. Speechless. About half of his left upper arm remains, wrapped beneath bandages with a stocking and drainage tubes attached. You can feel the tears starting come on. You tilt your head back, blinking rapidly. Not now! Not yet.

You look back down. The medical staff are talking in medical gibberish, so you focus on your pookie. It’s not that you can’t understand medical jargon. Being a biomedical engineer, you often work with such terminology. You’d just rather not right now. Not when Izu looks like an angel that’s fallen from the heavens as he sleeps. He’s got little cuts on his face that have been cleaned and had betadine dabbed onto them. His other arm has a cannula in it. It too is scarred and has other minor cuts that have also been cleaned up.

You sit on the side of his bed, waiting patiently for him to wake up. After a few minutes, his eyelids begin to flutter and soon, he opens his beautiful green eyes. You draw in a breath, taking in the dazed look on his face as he looks around and starts to move his head from side to side.

“Mr Midoriya,” Dr Kita says. His voice is calm and steady. It stops you from leaning over to cup Izu’s cheeks. For now anyways.

“Mr Midoriya, can you hear me?” Izuku groans in response, he begins lifting his right hand to touch his face when the nurse beside him gently grabs it mid-air and brings it back down the bed.

“Try to not to move too much, Mr Midoriya," Dr Kita says.

“Ugh,” he groans, his voice hoarse. “What happened?” Dr Kita holds up two of his fingers in front of Izuku’s face.

“Mr Midoriya, how many fingers am I holding up?”

Izu grumbles, “Two.”

“Good. How are you feeling? Are you experiencing any dizziness or nausea?” Izuku shuts his eyes, his brows creased. He hums in response, "Both."

You can’t stop yourself from calling his name this time. “Izu-chan.” His eyes open immediately and he looks down at you from the slightly raised bedhead. He squints, murmuring with uncertainty at first, “[Y/n]?”

You bite the side of your lip, shifting closer to him, “Yea.”

“You’re here, babe.” His voice is still raspy.

You hum in agreement, “Of course, I’m here. You okay?”

He chuckles softly, “Mhmm I—”

Fuck. He goes to move his left hand, presumably up to his face again. He usually rubs the back of neck when gets nervous. But no hand moves. Because there’s no hand to move. You watch, lump in your throat, as he winces, letting out a groan of pain. Your eyes move with his, to the empty space that was the rest of his left arm. He looks back up at you, before turning his gaze to the doctors and nurses watching him cautiously.

“I-I don’t… I don’t understand. Am I?” He tries to move his left hand again but lets out another groan. “I-No, this can’t. I—”

“Mr Midoriya,” Dr Kita cuts him off. “Yes, we had to amputate most of your left arm. You had experienced trauma beyond repair to your left forearm and elbow from a combination of severe wounds and the use of One For All at what we suspect to be full capacity. The surgeon decided that this was for the best.”

It’s like you can hear his heart shattering into a million pieces. It shatters alongside your own. The look of pain, of sheer, tortuous, anguish across his face hearing those words, you can’t hold back your tears any longer.

You sniffle quietly as they roll down your cheeks. “Sorry,” you murmur, voice heavy with sadness. You mentally berate yourself for crying, drawing the attention to yourself when it’s not your moment. But, you can’t help it. All you want to do is give your boyfriend cuddles and tell him everything is going to be okay. That you’re going to make it through this together. But all you can do is sit there and start quietly sobbing.

“Honey.” You look up through your tears and fingers trying to wipe them away. He looks like he’s about to start crying too.

Izuku shifts his gaze from you to the doctors. “Can you give us a moment?”

“Mr Midoriya, we need to some che—”

“I’m happy to do whatever checks you want. Please, just give us some space first?”

The doctors look amongst each other, communicating in an unspoken code before taking their leave. You let out a shaky breath, looking at your boyfriend lying beside you.

“Hey," he says, his voice cracking. You both laugh. You lean forward, cupping his cheeks in your hands. His right hand grasps your lower back softly.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffle.

“For what? It’s not your fault.” He looks at you with a gentle gaze, just as gentle as his touch.

“I know but I—” you choke on your sobs.

“Hey, it’s alright.” His hand pressures you to move forward so you can lay on his chest. But you don’t. You look up into those glassy green eyes.

“I can’t," you say, your voice tight. One of your hand goes to his chest. “You’re in pain," you continue, shaking your head.

His brows knit together at this, “I-It doesn’t hurt there.” You pause before you nod knowingly.

You too can’t help but want to be close to him like this. You lay your head on his chest with care, hands close to yourself. His right hand strokes the top of your head, scarred fingers threading through your silky [h/c] locks.

You tilt your head back, looking up at him. “You don’t have to pretend it’s okay. I-I know it’s not okay.” You plant a shaky small kiss on his jaw. His hand cups your shoulder.

“Yea,” his voice trembles. “I…” You can feel his chest vibrate with the emotions rising to the surface. You hear him sniffle, and soon, you two just lay there, crying together. One of the nurses brings over a tissue box which you two drain, wiping tears away and blowing noses. No words can articulate the kind of moment you two share.

It’s only when you two have calmed down that you lift yourself up from his chest. You cup his cheek in your right palm and murmur, “You hungry? D’you want some water?” He shakes his head, sniffling up those last tears. You dab his under eyes with the ruined tissue in your other hand.

“I was m-making—” You stop to inhale and exhale a deep breath before continuing, “tofu curry when they called me.” ‘Your favourite’ you leave unspoken.

“Can you b-bring me some?” He pouts. You nod your head ‘yes’, chuckling softly as you look down, “I will but, I don’t think they’ll let me back in if I leave now. Visiting hours are over.” Izuku nods, gulping down those straggler tears.

“I think I might have left it on, so I’ll bring some tomorrow, okay?” He nods again, bringing his right hand to your cheek, thumb gently caressing the delicate skin below your eyes.

“Mr Midoriya, Miss [l/n]. Do you mind if we continue with the general check-up?” You both look at each other before looking back at Dr Kita.

“Of course,” you reply as you move away from Izuku and stand up next to his bed. “Do I have to go now or?”

Dr Kita looks up from his clipboard, “We’ve given you special clearance for tonight. In future, you’ll have to abide by visiting hours.” He’s moved from the foot of the bed to the left side, a distance away from you.

“Visiting hours are from 10am to 8pm. I would advise leaving soon if you’re catching the train back to your apartment. I’m sure you know that it’s not very safe walking around alone at night.” You hum in response.

You look back at Izuku who shakes his head in agreement. He sniffles, “I-I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” You nod, moving closer and leaning over him, placing a small kiss on his lips. Your first in a month. It’s brief but sweet. Just enough to keep you going until tomorrow.

“Stay strong for me, okay?” You say. Izuku smiles back at you.

You pull back and turn towards Dr Kita, “Thank you for all of your help, doctor. I’ll be back here tomorrow. Should I just ask at reception?”

He hums in response and says, "See you tomorrow, Miss [l/n].” You walk past Dr Kita, turning around once your approaching the doors, locking eyes with your Izu before leaving the recovery room.

The trip home is filled with replays of all that had just happened. When you got back, you found that luckily, you had in fact turned the curry off. You turn it back on, following the recipe in your mind to finish it off. Dinner, packing leftovers, dishes, all go by mindlessly. You’re still stuck in a daze by the time you sit in your plush chair in the corner of your room, pulling at your journal. It’s time to talk about it.

these are the links that I used to write this story:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/10iiud/amputees_of_reddit_what_was_it_like_to_lose_a/

https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-lose-a-limb-in-an-accident-and-how-did-you-handle-the-emergency

https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/cyborg#:~:text=Initially%2C%20a%20cyborg%20was%20described,to%20compensate%20for%20some%20disabilities

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyborg_(DC_Comics)#:~:text=transform%20the%20city.-,Powers%20and%20abilities,speed%2C%20stamina%2C%20and%20flight

https://www.fairviewrehab.com/nursing-care/care-after-amputation/

https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/cancer-information/cancer-treatment/surgery/recovery/hospital-recovery-room/

https://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/definition-amputation

https://my-hero-academia-fanon.fandom.com/wiki/Cybernetic_Arms

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2018/08/bionic-movements#:~:text=The%20bionic%20hand%20sends%20signals,hand%20is%20closing%20or%20opening

She's Different

Izuku Midoriya x Reader x Katsuki Bakugou

Summary: You were different. Why couldn't he see that?

Warning: Alcohol mentions, PTSD mentions, a little angsty

Part 1:

Oh Deer Oh Deer

Different

Izuku Midoriya x Reader Summary: You thought he'd be different than the rest, but he proved you wrong. Warning: Cheating, angst, hurtful wo

Silence.

That's all he's known since you left.

How long had it been? 6 months.

6 months of silence.

5 months since Uraraka ended the affair.

4 months since he saw you were doing better.

3 months since he slipped from Number 1.

2 months since he'd taken up drinking.

1 month since he actually was a 'Hero'.

You had left him in a rut. The warmth and love he once felt from you that your aura had coated the house in now was cold and depressing.

He picked up the bottle of alcohol that sat next to him, the News Channel reporting of Dynamight and Shoto rescuing seniors from a villan attack on their care facility.

The anchor had asked the two how they felt and Dynamight couldn't help but wink into the camera, addressing someone personally.

That someone, Izuku knew as you.

"See you tonight, Princess,"

Izuku threw the bottle against the TV, smashing it and cracking the TV screen causing it to flicker out and go black.

Why did he have to suffer like this? Why did he give it all up? Why did he ever let Uraraka seduce him? Why had you walked out?

He grabbed his hair and grunted. His face red from alcohol as he felt his pulse race. A pressure built behind his eyes as water began to wet his lashes.

He missed you.

He missed your voice. Your laughter. The sweet smell of your perfume that sent shivers down his spine and clouded his head in the best way.

How you both used to curl into eachother late into the night or early in the morning and whisper sweet nothings to eachother. Nuzzling close and talking about the future you dreamed of together.

Or even the nights when he'd come home to you having an episode. A flashback, a trigger, anything that would set you off from your ex boyfriend. A man who used you and cheated on you daily.

He could pull you into a tight embrace and just hold you, let you cry and sob as he promised to be there. As he promised to love you.

Izuku had rescued you from him, just to turn out like him.

You had caught his attention. The way you smiled while lost in thought. The way your nose twitched when you laughed. How you would stop and admire flowers no matter where you two were. You never cared for his title of Hero. You'd fallen in love with Izuku Midoriya not Deku.

You'd bring him lunch when he ran over his own break. You'd make his favorite dinner after a particularly rough day of Hero work.

You would care for your friends and family like a Mother, always fretting over them. Supportive of Izuku no matter what, his number one through and through. Yet he couldn't be your number one, only The World's number one.

And he betrayed you.

He had let Uraraka drag him home to her house, had let her slip her hand on him anywhere she wanted. He let her do anything she wanted. He never said no, it was new, invigorating, heart racing...it was different.

He knew it was wrong, yet he continued. He left you for her countless times, half the time he figured you'd get over it. He did everything. He paid the bills and let you live like a Princess. The thrill of running behind your back swallowed him whole. He let the press and paparazzi find them. He didn't care. He thought what they had was special, that you were old news.

He was wrong.

Izuku let out a scream as it began to rain outside.

You had been different.

And he lost you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well here's that part 2 yall 😂 I didn't think I would but here's Izuku basically drowning in his own misery. It's short but I hope yall enjoy it.

@maroonmagic @multi-fandom-fanfic @darkempresslola @tremendouswolfsaladranch

Different

Izuku Midoriya x Reader

Summary: You thought he'd be different than the rest, but he proved you wrong.

Warning: Cheating, angst, hurtful words, cussing,

You've known for a while now that you were no longer your boyfriends main priority. For about seven months out of your two year relationship you've known.

It started with the late meetings, the coming home after midnight, hiding his phone, getting random rescue and office calls during your days together.

Soon came him not even trying to hide it. Rumpled clothes, cheap perfume that wasn't yours. Markings on his neck and back that you didn't make, how could you when you haven't been intimate in over three months now.

You thought he'd be different from the past. He promised to be. So why are you crying alone on a Thursday night at 1 o'clock in the morning? You've should've known better? Prepared yourself better? Confront him? Ignore it?

Your heart and chest ached so badly as your thoughts raced. It was almost difficult to breathe.

Hearing the door open and shut you whiped your eyes and took a deep, shaky breath to even your breathing out.

Turning to the man you called your lover, you could only stare at his face as his eyes tried to look elsewhere but you. You could tell he was annoyed. At you? The situation? Why can't he break it off if he's not happy? Why torture you?

"What are you doing awake? You should've been asleep," Izuku grumbled out, hands leaving his pockets to start to undue his tie and button down shirt.

"I missed you, couldn't sleep without you, wanted to make sure you were okay from your meeting,"

He simply nodded, disregarded his clothing and you caught a wiff of that same damn perfume as it hit the ground. Your eyes began to tear up as you could only think of what you had done wrong.

Did you not satisfy him enough? Not cook and clean good? Pretty enough? Sexy enough?

"Look I've had a long day, I'm going to bed. Goodnight,"

He got into his side of the king sized bed, far away from you with his back turned. A lone tear ran down your cheek as you nodded, not that he could see. Not that he even cared at this point.

You laid down too, staring at his back and it seemed he went right to sleep without a care in the world. You slowly reached a hand out to him, your fingertips just close enough to brush him if you wanted too. But you retracted at the last second, not wanting to annoy him more.

You've lost track now on how many nights has been like this. Him so close but so far away. No way of reaching him. Not that you even wanted to anymore. After all, where excitement and love once was, was now sadness and emptiness.

~.~

"Izuku, I know about her,"

This didn't seem the right time, but you were done.

A newspaper article had come out with Izuku and Uraraka at a fancy restaurant together, hands locked together in a lovers gaze. The headline simple, "Does Your Girlfriend Know Deku?"

You had been to many a Gala in your first few months together, Izuku showing you to the press as his girlfriend. His one and only.

"Look I don't want to talk about this right now, I'm late for a conference with Bakugou, Shoto and-" "And her. Right?"

He sighed, turning his head to where you sat at the kitchen table. A mug of tea clasped in your hand as you stared back. (E/C) eyes that now seemed lifeless and dull. The once beautiful shine and glow of life, now gone.

"I've know about her for months now, you didn't exactly try to hide it," you mumbled out, a small sip helping your nerves as you tried to prepare yourself for the end.

"If you've known then why are you still here? Get out then! No one is making you stay,"

His green eyes tried to cut through you, but now you simply blinked back. "I made myself stay because you promised,"

That made him flinch as his eyebrows furrowed together, "You promised to be different. That you'd never hurt me like I was hurt in the past. I guess we're just all bastards who lie then huh?"

You stood up and placed your mug in the sink, Izuku trying to find some logical reasoning,"Well what do you expect!? You never do anything, I do everything! The bill paying, the bread winner, thats all me! Sorry if for once I'm seen as someone who isn't just that,"

You walked closer to him, causing him to shuffle back a little. "I've never once asked you for anything but your heart. I guess I was a dumb idiot for that, maybe I should've used you for gain like she did to rise in the charts,"

You reached for the bag you had packed, sitting next to the hallway closet.

"I thought it would be alright if I ignored it. You promised me love, a friend, a lover. Someone I could confide in and be able to return it on the rough days. I guess I was wrong then,"

You turned sharply to Izuku who flinched back. Your eyes met his as you uttered one final sentence to him before you walked out forever.

"The sad thing is. I actually thought you were different,"

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Ooof, it's been a rough one you guys. I've lost someone dear to me and it's impacted my wanting to write a little bit. This isn't my best but I'm trying to get back in the game. I hope you like it 🤍

Come back

(ProHeroAU!Deku x Reader)

Summary: Looking back on what you two used to be and how you are now, you can't help but feel sorrowful.

Warning: Angst, depressive thoughts, toxic relationship, toxic situation, cussing, depression, heart break, aged up characters,

We used to be Best Friends.

We used to be Lovers.

We used to be Husband and Wife.

What are we now?

Two people who exist beside eachother.

How could you have known your life would turn out like this? Wishing your husband would come home. Wishing your husband wouldn't ignore you. When had it all started? A few months ago? After he'd gotten what he always wanted.

Number 1 Pro Hero, Deku.

He was more smug, walked like no one could touch him.

You celebrated like you did everything in your lives together since 3rd year. A nice dinner together followed by passionate love making. Whispering sweet nothings and promises to eachother. Holding eachother close until sunrise, nothing but love and content between your hearts and souls.

But you soon noticed how he'd come home later, you already be asleep and missing his warmth that lulled you to sleep naturally. Leaving sooner, you waking up with a small warm spot where he once laid, even if it was only for a short few hours. Reply less on the phone, never responding or picking up, sending you straight to voice-mail. Acting like a phantom of the man who you once loved, who'd always call you, who always snuggled close when the moon rose high in the sky and until the sun replaced it.

Your home that was once vibrant with colors and life, now seemed dull and gray. The pictures that hung on the walls of memories once shared now seemed bittersweet. A constant nagging of what you once had and had lost too soon. Of course you'd beg Izuku to go to out with you, come home early, have dinner together. Or even just hug once. Reignite the hope and love you were so desperately clinging to.

Your friends and family could see it too. The way you no longer smiled the way you used to, no energy to give them but a weak half assed smile that left them all heartbroken. You were once sunshine that broke through the clouds and rain no matter what, always finding the best in every situation. Now you sobbed silently as you watched your husband on TV who smiled without a care in the world, no worries to hold him back. Yet you knew once he came home that smile wouldn't be for you. The one who such by him, supported him, held him when it all became too much as some points for you both to bear. You pushed through, telling him to lay it on your shoulders, that you could carry the weight for both of you. Now, it seemed he'd abandoned everything and no longer sought to reclaim it.

You couldn't help but twist your engagement and wedding rings around your finger. Heart pounding so fast and deep you felt like you almost couldn't breathe. You wanted it all to end. You were tired of trying and getting nowhere. Trying to put forth the effort you'd promised eachother back then when you were dressed in white and he in a suit.

'We'll always be there for one another. Never apart or forgotten'

You scoffed, tears rolling down your face as you brought your sleeve up to clean your eyes but the tears just kept flowing. Through blurry eyes you picked up your phone, re reading the messages you'd sent to him, all left on read.

'I hope you have an amazing day! I love you!'

'What time will you be home? I'm making your favorite to celebrate another successful assignment'

'I need to talk to you'

'Please answer the phone'

'Izuku.... please'

'I miss us'

You coughed, throat constricting as you sobbed, hands over your mouth to muffle the screams as you let your frustration and sadness out. Throwing your phone across the room, it shattered with a BANG as it hit one of the pictures, knocking it off the wall.

You stood and walked over, careful of the broken glass. Bending down you saw it was of when you and Izuku attended a holiday party with your friends only about a year ago. You dressed in a cute Santa outfit that showed off your body, and him in a simple Santa hat. You two gazed at eachother with such love though, Mina having snapped the picture when you were caught under the mistletoe. Turning away from the picture was hard. You didn't feel like being mocked knowing you were once happy.

The door opening suddenly made you jump up, heart racing as your lips quivered. Had he finally come home to be with you? Did you finally get through to him?

He truged through the door, shaking off his coat and setting his briefcase down as he took off his shoes. You felt a warmth spread through your body as you scurried over, a small smile making its way to your lips.

"Welcome home~" you chirped, though he only glanced at you. "Yeah thanks," he mumbled, shuffling past you and into the kitchen. "Why is the picture frame broken? Whatever, just throw it out." He decided, his voice echoing across the once again gray household as you stared after him in bewilderment. The first time you've properly seen eachother in weeks it seems, and he just brushed you off.

Gaining some courage you followed him where he scowled into the fridge, "Izuku, I was wondering-" You were cut off by him slamming the fridge shut as he turned to you sharply, "Why is there no food in this house!? All you do all day is sit around. The least you can do is make sure I'm fed when I come home. I expect it. You're married to the Number One Hero, I expect better or I'll find better," he scolded you like a child, his large frame towering over yours as you felt tears prick your waterline as you stared at him hurt and shocked. "I..I" you couldn't even speak you were so distraught. Had it really come down to this? "Whatever, I'm going to bed," he scoffed, grabbing some fruit off the table and left you standing there staring after him.

The second the door shut you slowly sank to your knees, fingers clenching your shirt in pain as you literally felt your heart breaking. Shaking and sputtering as tears flowed from your eyes, sniffling as you could barely breathe.

"Please..let this be a dream," you rasped, the light glinting off your rings that caught your attention. You stared at them. What was the use of promises and whispers of forever when the one who was supposed to share them with you no longer cared? What was the purpose of love when it'd been forever since any act of love or kindness was shown to you from your own husband? Things would never been the same. They couldn't be. Not after the hurt and unknowing he'd put you through.

Trembling as you took off your rings, you clenched them right and bright the fist to your lips. Whispering an apology to yourself, you shouldn't have let this happen. Shouldn't have let it carry on so long.

Standing you walked down the hall to the bedroom you shared with Izuku. A room that was a safe haven, now a dungeon where your worst fears and ugly truths had manifested into reality. Opening the door you were greeted with the sight of Izuku in his pajamas now, hair damp as he'd just gotten out of the shower.

"Izuku," you called, voice still raspy from crying. "What," he turned his gaze into your figure, the only thing you could do was move closer. It felt like sharp needles with every step you took, the weight of that of an Elephan. Holding your hand out, you unfurled your fingers to present your rings. "What are you doing?' He questioned, his eyebrows netted in confusion and annoyance .

Taking in a deep breath, you uttered one line, "Letting go," and that caught his attention. "What the hell are you getting at? Let go of what? There's nothing wrong," you shook your head at his statement. Reaching for his hand, you gently placed the rings inside. "I need to let go of you. I need to let go of this loveless marriage," you smiled weakly, wincing as he lashed out again.

"LOVELESS MARRIAGE!? IN WHAT SENSE DOES THAT MAKE!" You stared at him, a neutral look as you stared him down with a slight glare making him wince back.

"When was the last time we made love? The last time we cuddled or ate together. How long has it been since we simply enjoyed eachother sleeping next to one another?" You clenched your fists to your side, teeth gritted as your frustration came out, "Even the last time you uttered I Love You too me!' You yelled at him, your (e/c) eyes full of tears and pain made eye contact with his own that were blown wide in shock. "Ever since you've gotten that number one spot no one is good enough for you! You're never home! I supported you through it all and yet you pushed me to the side like I didn't matter! I'm sick and tired of trying my best to get beaten down, tired of waiting for a man who no longer wants to be with me or love me," you sobbed, lips quivering as you said your piece.

"(Y-Y/N)," he muttered, reaching out a hand as you flinched away, moving swiftly toward your closet where you grabbed a bag and stuffed important items in them quickly. "W-wait we can talk about this," Izuku stuttered, his whole world crashing down. "There's nothing to talk about, goodbye Izuku, I hope you get everything you ever wanted," you slammed the door shut, leaving Izuku in a world of silence as you left the house. Left his heart.

He felt tears rise into his eyes as he tried to recant the last time it'd been just you two together, but he couldn't think of anything. No recent dinners. No recent cuddles. Hell he couldn't even remeber the last time he spoke to you, actually spoke and didn't yell like he'd done in the kitchen moments before. He whimpered and brought your rings to his mouth like you'd done, his strength suddenly gone as he gave out on the bed, his eyes staring at the ceiling as it all sunk in. "I'm not ready to let go," he cried, tears flowing down his cheeks and onto the blankets as his lips quivered,

"Please come back"

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Thought we'd give Deku a try 😘 Let me know how yall felt about it.