Kikitalkz - Blog Posts

work in progresseses (and a non-hetalia outfit study)

sorry for not posting and just lurking like a fckin weirdo. I am once again in a dry spell and I've been all over the place now that I don't have school. building my professional portfolio is.... rough bcuz I've been drawing nothing but fanart for the past 10 years lmaoo.

to keep it cute, I have a bad habit of using fanart as a form of artistic validation. as you can see, it's not a reliable form of artistic exposure. nor do I think anything will be unless I get my act together and do something original for once- but that's where my head has been. there's one piece of alfred f. jones I intend to put my focus into, so there is something to look forward to, but I do want to develop original ideas more now

diners are the only thing to be proud about as an american. you're telling me I can eat a waffle special with extra sausage and unlimited coffee at 2 AM while drawing on my tablet AND witness a real-time brawl between the waiters?? heaven on earth.

• grand canyon, az

hallelujah, I finally visited the gorgeous, gorgeous grand canyon on the south rim and it is... phenomenal. me and a stranger teared up and it was a real human moment.

I can't believe it's almost been four months in a hiatus but I have missed y'all and this chaos site so much.

to be brief, my mom was sicker than I thought. by some honest miracle, she is alive and well and healthier than I am at this point lol! I finished college this december too and finally got my AA degree! trust that nothing felt better than uninstalling canvas last week.

I'll try posting very soon!! I've only drawn like two things in the time I was gone and I just started working on some req/asks I received. I hope y'all are doing great and I wish much love to you this new year.

awkward introvert ivan braginsky tells goofy extrovert alfred jones the corniest joke ever known to man and he laughs earnestly and beautifully as he does and almost stops ivan's heart

shower thought: hot native boy alfred f jones invites his tall asf tundra-acclimated co-worker ivan braginsky to a sweat lodge ceremony and he dies of heat exposure at least three times

sup hom's. just letting yall know that I may be gone for a bit due to my momma being sick. I've been with her since Sunday and she's doing better but she's still on bedrest. I'll for sure be hovering and loving yall's content tho xo

I’ll come clean… my rusame and america playlists are all a ruse….. to get you to listen to more native music…. it’s been my plan this WHOLE time!!

I love the southwest….. I do…… and it loves me…..

Alright yall lol. (warning: anger, stupid, stupid fandom bs)

So I see we're back to talking about toxic shipping and 'policing' and shit. Because I know what y'all are indirectly referencing, I want you to consider this: empathy.

"Toxic shipping discourse in Hetalia is really pointless actually." I agree. There is no way you are arguing someone out of their favorite ship, it's nonsensical-- however, someone asking for more sensitivity in a fucking fanbase is not the same as saying a ship is toxic and that you shouldn't ship it.

"You cannot have morals while shipping countries." I disagree. There is absolutely a right and wrong way to fuck with this content-- for example, Nazism/Fascism, racism, and colonization romanticization are things you shouldn't feel comfortable with these personifications participating in. If you do fuck with it, you are definitely a worse person than a person who ships GerIta casually.

There is a big difference between enjoying personified countries beating the shit outta each other and drinking each other's blood versus depicting them enjoying putting minority-based personifications under agonizing situations. This is just an example.

Asking you to be more understanding when someone brings up their trauma attached to your favorite characters is something that shouldn't be seen as policing. Still, I see many people getting angry and making a strawman out of their words to collect brownie points.

YES, I am talking about the RusAme fandom. You don't have to agree with someone's point, even regarding their personal experiences, but what you can do is be fucking respectful. Morals have nothing to do with simply fucking respecting somebody, especially when they're coming to you hurt!

Enjoy your stupid fucking ship, no one gives a fuck, just be fucking understanding when minorities come to y'all with concerns!

do you think hws america ever flung himself into the path of a tornado just for the fck of it?

giving y'all my unfiltered thoughts and anger is my way of staying humble and I hope it doesn't scare y'all away. the equivalent of letting shots off in the hood: gotta keep the rent low lmao

2p rusame human au in the 1980s where dmitri is a trucker from montana who just migrated from russia and allen is an Indian cowboy from gallup who bucks at state rodeos. they meet when dmitri’s truck shuts down outside the convenience store in the reservation and allen lets him borrow his house phone (cause the public phone was knocked down months ago). it’s there that they get acquainted and allen notices dmitri has a hard time with english.

they get to talking and knowing more of each other and then allen lets him crash on his couch. allen gets an uncle to help him fix the issue with the truck the next morning and dmitri is all set to leave- but not before they exchange info. after becoming friends, allen teaches dmitri english and helps him with his citizenship test, and in exchange, dmitri teaches him how to stay on a horse better (because he worked at a horse riding school in khabarovsk).

our favorite golden retriever boy's bday is soon AND powwow season is just around the corner so here's some indigenous headcanons I've got for alfred f. jones!

he is actively attempting to learn every single native language within his region, but fluently speaks osage, dine bizaad, hopi, mvskoke, and algonquian massachusett and ojibwa

he is the embodiment of sunshine. he can make everyone laugh, and that includes babies. that being said, he has been the reason for at least 100+ babies' first laughs and has proudly thrown parties for each of their families as per the navajo tradition

him (and matt) fully volunteer to drum and sing at powwows, especially at small town ones. they will roadtrip across canada and the us during the summer and absolutely bring the party to the 49. they also do it to overindulge in piccadilly and indian tacos

he is not a religious person but he does acquiesce in spiritual traditions he has picked up from native elders. the major one he uses is smudging. alike the kid from 'sixth sense', he sees dead people-- or ghosts to be exact lol. and he hates them! which is why he will often smudge and pray early in the morning, once a week, to cleanse any spirits from his house

smokes are always in his possession. while he does smoke on occasion, he mostly carries them with him for exchanges. for example, if he encounters a cool mineral on the roadside, instead of just taking it, he will leave tobacco behind as a show of appreciation

he feeds the rez dogs exponentially (even when everyone at every rez keeps telling him not to fuckin do that, you shitass)

put him on your rob list because he owns so many beaded jewelry and turquoise, it may just pay off your student loans and then some

his mutton sandwiches and navajo burgers will make you fall in love with him, no joke

I was starting to get self conscious about being the only one with a huge ass device in the casino I’m at- but lo and behold, a person just came in with a laptop

brother in christ, we steal this casino’s free drinks and wifi as a team 🤝🏼

alfred “f is for foking deadly n8v boy” jones will find any excuse to roll up to the function with his wicked and customized medallions like these:

mattie beaded them for him and he was paid exclusively in a full rack of ribs and AJ’s signature smoked mac ‘n’ cheese

okay, so I've been seeing some folks in the RusAme Country Club and Yacht Society say they don't see Ivan and Alfred together romantically nor do they see them having a healthy and/or romantic dynamic at all..... and I'm here to tell you that you are not seeing the VISION!

get a goddamn glass of your finest bourbon and/or vodka and put this record on your turntable, 'cause I'm about to ramble (CW: heavy-handed headcanons lmfao, foking long as hell too)--

Let me put it this way..... these two immortal beings met during a time of revolution and revolt. They met through a plead for help and a petty need to drive a third party crazy, and within that realm, found that they admired each other greatly. They revered their intelligence, their ambitions, their resistance, their people. Both beings were open and excited to learn from each other, and in that excitement, grew fond of each other at breakneck speed.

These two juxtaposed beings became best friends- despite the long distance, despite the difference in linguistics, and were bonded by a love for music, food, culture, and knowledge. They were uña y mugre; inseparable, always writing and visiting whenever possible. These two beings had their own inside jokes, their own gossip, their own humor. They even learned to speak in their respective languages in order to better understand each other!

Through this inexplicable connection, one of these beings is suddenly thrust into a civil war. Is it unlike anything they have experienced in their relatively young life. While others around them stay at a distance, their best friend of some odd years now immediately rushes to their side and helps in every way. They never leave their side, watching them break apart, seeing their health deteriorate, feeling helpless, seeing a flawed side of them like never before. Despite it all, despite the ugly irrational and hurt person they they know now, they care about them so much more. The feeling is mutual, as the war torn being holds nothing but utter appreciation for the other for staying through it all.

Simply knowing they could have ceased to exist with the war only serves to strengthen the bond they have. this transforms into something that takes both of them by surprise-- this deep love overtakes feelings of comradery and now they are just as inseparable, more so than when they were just friends. Now they know words of romance, they tear pages from love stories to send to each other, their embraces last much longer, they often get lost with each other at parties, they wake up later than everyone else. No one knows why. No one knows. These being truly live in their own world of pure, raw, unadulterated love. Their love is passionate, energetic, intense, engulfing, erotic- it's love at its best.

Once again, out of the blue, the climate around them changes. Suddenly, the older being is thrown into a revolutionary war kilometers away from the other. The younger beings' friends and allies disapprove of their alliance. In an unexpected turn, the second being's overseers also disapprove of their alliance as well, because their alliance only makes ridicule of the policies they must now abide by.

Then a world war distracts them from ever solving this issue. Then a second world war. Then a third war, where they are now the main contenders, and are now so apart, they have not seen each other in years. Not one word. They didn't even get to formally finalize their relationship. it just ended. As quick as it had started, now all they feel is anger. Anger that aims at their respective policies, their regressive societies, their ideologies. That anger was not born from those things. The anger stems from unfinished business; no closure, agonizing and guttural heartbreak. The frustration from what was left unsaid is what speaks for them and it comes out in physical brawls, in competitiveness, in slander, in unruly hatred.

Within this cloud of despise, there are glimmers of hope. Elbe Day, Van Cliburn, the space race, the Moscow-Washington hotline, the Olympics, worlds fairs, music, celebrations, US-Soviet soldier reunions, magazines, books, movies, joint ventures: they notice all of it. Slowly but surely that seething hatred just becomes a numb feeling of indifference.

As the decade comes and goes, they are both on separate paths. One being is suffering from socioeconomic and political turmoil, and the other... hates it. Despite the half-century they spent hating each other, seeing them in disarray is unsettling. Something they aren't aware enough to recognize is how much they care. There is care in the fact that instead of feeling schadenfreude of an ex-friend/ex-lover/ex-enemy's plight, they feel upset to see each other a mess. The more well-off person helped the other without a question. Their helping hand wasn't and is not used as artillery, it is just cut-and-dry help.

Now they are acquaintances again. They see each other at conferences. They say 'hello' to each other as they walk by. They share coffee and a cigarette here and there. They banter. Most importantly, they are equally disliked by most. This fact in itself leaves them with a weird thing to relate to. Sometimes it leaves them drinking together, complaining about tedious things others around them don't care for and would laugh at them for complaining about. Through that strange comradery, they find inside jokes, mutual interests, and "bonding time". Their bonding time is often just small talk or getting drunk- but funny thing, it will often push them a bit closer. Sometimes it will lead to a dinner, or a symphonic performance, or may just land them at the other's doorstep. Or in the other being's room. Or their bed. Once. Maybe three, four-- teen times? When did it start up again? Nobody knows. Hell, they don't even know.

What they do know is that when they're around each other, they cannot keep to themselves. They can be themselves. Something about sharing intimacy together is nostalgic in itself, but not only that. It's remembering what each other's favorite color was/is, it's remembering how the other prefers their tea, remembering the curves of their calligraphy, remembering the way they smile, retelling old stories as if they're new-- it's them falling in love, all over again!

Their romance is very unconventional, as they don't choose to label it, but they remain exclusive to each other. When they crave, they run to each other. If they're angry, they run to each other. If they're happy, they run to each other. They still remember their languages, they still have their letters and portraits in a storage unit somewhere, they remember where their hands go during an embrace, they know where to tilt their head during a kiss-- god, they remember everything! All that beautiful, breathtaking romance did not die with the years, it was only stored away. Just now are they allowed to unpackage it together. After years, they are able to talk about what they left behind. About "what if?" Yes, they talk about it inebriated mostly but that's a start! They have so many loose ends with each other, it may take them years to label themselves-- but they do care for each other.

In their own tired, worn, timid way, they show love. They yearn deeply. Much more than they'll ever admit.

ivan ivanovich braginsky is absolutely the type to send cheesy and dated blingee gifs to the g8 groupchat altruistically in 2024 like your local russian dedushka on whatsapp

sorry for randomly barging in LOL but I was wondering if u had any indchu hcs :3 missing them...

oh man oh man HELLO! it's an honor to see you here, I absolutely adore your writing!!!! you're one of the damn reasons why indchu got me by the neck (and I thank you)!! as for hcs for them... aw yeah.... let's GO!!!

hair care.....brushing...stroking...massaging

they definitely worship together. they both are devout to their own religions and beliefs, but simply due to proximity (and knowing each other for eons atp), they practice the traditions of the other without being asked. I don't think they notice it either. it's just (absolutely romantical) second nature to participate in each other's cultures

TECH NERDS. a pair of dorks!!! they are fascinated by both old and new ibms, software, hardware, smartphones, machinery, etc, and will buy anything that comes out to review it together. they exchange devices and gadgets like baseball cards. catch them at CES taking over the conference and plugging their shared tech review youtube channel

despite where their relationship is in current day, they have the spare key to each other's places. sometimes when they're not there, the other will still go over to do literally nothing (they just really like having their scent around... coats and blazers go missing often)

all it takes is that one stare to let them know what they need from each other

and they LOVE ARGUING because they think it's HOT and will argue because they know what it leads to!!! toxic mfs get therapy challenge!!! (IMPOSSIBLE)

they love to gossip together and will do so to people's faces. how do they get away with it? they use ancient and obscure indian and chinese dialects to speak with each other because they know no one will understand a lick of it!! fcking genius!!

they're their own personal tailors. they know their measurements by heart, their favorite colors, their shoe size, the best color for their complexions, etc. india is most def the biggest fashion hunter of the two, so china HAD to learn modern sewing patterns and techniques just to APPEASE him. the audacity!! (india does gift him shiny shiny mulberry silk in return)

their culinary skills....their FOODS. enough said!!!

indchu supremacy always and forever

alfred f. jones holding back the american urge to put ivan braginsky in the infamous black turtleneck + gold chain combo for his own selfish reasons

"guys the meeting is cancelled, we just started the briefing and we can't get alfred and matthew to stop arguing about drake and kendrick"

I feel like in the rusame club, rus' best attributes are thrown to the wayside. as an AMERICAN [EAGLE SCREECH] rusame enjoyer,,, I am here to set the record straight. here are the many hc's I've got on Al's admirations of Ivan:

he is so well-read. russian lit is truly a genre of its own, and Ivan got his writing talents from it. he could write a poem about dirt and make someone cry. while he is a reserved and intimidating person face-to-face, he can write everything he feels and sees so stunningly and concisely. I hc that during the height of their initial alliance (1850s-1900s) he would write Al letters about his day, how much he enjoyed seeing him last, about what he liked about him, and about how much he cares for him (he kept them all).

he will spend weeks, months, making something for the people he loves because it's fun to him, especially because he includes the little details. that one time in 1887 when they walked along the Sochi shore and found a rock that resembled Alfred's eyes (that he later lost)? well he looked all over Sochi beach and found another one just like it and made Al a ring with it. why? just because!

his appearance. man, if Alfred wasn't so prideful, he'd tell Ivan straightforwardly just how attractive he is and how attracted he is to him (he absolutely talks his ear off abt it when he's shtfaced lol). he is tall, broad, ethereally pallid- his skin is calloused and scarred in such a lovely way. he sees it as his skin being struck by lightning. his hair is light and soft in a way unachievable even by the best hair care. just looking at the man gives him frisson (and deep within his mind he feels others see it too, the jealous baby).

his hands

his nose. it's such a beautiful inheritance passed down from his first peoples to him, and Ivan wears it well. it makes him look all the more regal, and as an ndn man, Alfred sees large noses as a symbol of power. also, what doja cat said-

he's a damn-good dancer. waltz, paso doble, troika, but soviet tango guys- seriously, soviet tango.

elizabeth taylor eyes

he is a goddamn chef. pirozhkis, stroganoff, shchi- SCRUMPTIOUS. "hey, we're having a potluck and braginsky didn't bring anything again-" IT'S CAUSE AJ STASHED IVAN'S TRAY IN HIS CAR AGAIN

his sweaters (he's stolen approximately 122 sweaters from him and counting- ivan now hides his clothes when he visits)

okay... what if we compromise... and say alfred jones is indeed an east coaster... BUT he was born on the west coast? yes or yes?

• kingman, az

the trip back home was just as fun as the trip itself. buying $1 scratch-offs, a pretty big drink, and beef jerky: the best american experience.

• albuquerque, nm

gathering of nations was a surreal experience. I don't think I've been around so many other natives in my life, and that includes northern and aboriginal natives! it is an unforgettable experience. also knowing I was in the same room as northern cree and young spirit makes me fangirl embarrassingly.

• pueblo acoma, nm

on our way to albuquerque, we were able to tour the beautiful sky city in the mesa! acoma natives have lived in the mesa for over 2000 years. I'm still so amazed by that.

after not seeing much of each other (or the best of each other) in the 50s-60s, I'd like to think that alfred and ivan enjoy exploring musical media of that era together in modern day. for example, alfred loves to show ivan how to dance the twist and ivan will share his x-ray record collection of contraband music with him.

ivan won't let him know that he's been to a maya kristalinskaya concert or two and he's already learned the dance. alfred won't let him know that he owns multiple muslim magomayev lps and once snuck past the iron curtain to hear vladimir troshin live.

when alfred and ivan visit each other, the standard gifts (or more like payment) is american cigarettes for russian vodka. nothing more nothing less. also american doritos, bcuz ame made rus try eating caviar with them and he's been shamefully hooked since

the biggest reason why I feel so anchored to rusame is the (theorized) love story. the grueling background of their romance. the way they went from friends, to lovers, to enemies, to friends again, to... who knows? (I'm mostly going off fanon rusame and the more widely shared hcs I've seen)

forget about the cold war--I love to think of how in love they were before the patriotic war.

all the letters they wrote one another, the gifts they made for each other; a painted picture of their eye in a locket, a portrait etched onto a lacquer box. photographs, poems, postcards. a pure love story. then it went away. then having to ignore this gnawing feeling of missing each other, of yearning each other. having to replace such a fiery love with hatred in the blink of an eye.

then that hatred gradually dissipates to become... more longing, more yearning. they wouldn't call it love (I think) but that intense, agonizing emotion for each other is always there and it's exclusive to them. them caring so little for each other and yet so much is so beautiful, so saddening, so incredible. they are my favorite love story you could say????