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Ace Pride - Blog Posts
I’m not trying to be inflammatory, I’m just curious. How do het ace/aro people face SYSTEMATIC oppression? Gay/bi/trans people face oppression like difficultly adopting children, finding housing, they may be fired from employment because of their gender or orientation. So they are bared from normal parts of live because of their gender/sexuality. Gay ace/aro people face this too, but what do het ace/aro people experience on a societal level?
If you’d been following my blog at all or even bothered to peruse it a little before dropping this message in my inbox, you’d probably already know the answer to your question.
You’d ALSO probably know that there are bi and pan aspecs too (e.g., I’m panromantic demisexual) which isn’t “gay” (does this term also include lesbians?) so I feel like your ask erases part of my own identity and that of others in the community.
For these reasons and more, I’d bet money that you’re not here because you’re “curious”. You’re probably here because you figure this is how you’re gonna stop a “self-imposing” aspec from speaking up for herself.
Well guess what: That’s just hateful & sad.
Regardless though of your intentions, I’m here to say that there is in fact SYSTEMATIC oppression against aspecs. For example, Dr Gordon Hodson wrote this about his 2012 study:
In a recent investigation (MacInnis & Hodson, in press) we uncovered strikingly strong bias against asexuals in both university and community samples. Relative to heterosexuals, and even relative to homosexuals and bisexuals, heterosexuals: (a) expressed more negative attitudes toward asexuals (i.e., prejudice); (b) desired less contact with asexuals; and © were less willing to rent an apartment to (or hire) an asexual applicant (i.e., discrimination). Moreover, of all the sexual minority groups studied, asexuals were the most dehumanized (i.e., represented as “less human”). Intriguingly, heterosexuals dehumanized asexuals in two ways. Given their lack of sexual interest, widely considered a universal interest, it might not surprise you to learn that asexuals were characterized as “machine-like” (i.e., mechanistically dehumanized). But, oddly enough, asexuals were also seen as “animal-like” (i.e., animalistically dehumanized). Yes, asexuals were seen as relatively cold and emotionless and unrestrained, impulsive, and less sophisticated.
When you repeatedly observe such findings it grabs your attention as a prejudice researcher. But let’s go back a minute and consider those discrimination effects. Really? You’d not rent an apartment to an asexual man, or hire an asexual woman? Even if you relied on stereotypes alone, presumably such people would make ideal tenants and employees. We pondered whether this bias actually represents bias against single people, a recently uncovered and very real bias in its own right (see Psychology Today column by Bella DePaulo). But our statistical analyses ruled out this this possibility. So what’s going on here?
If you’ve been following my column, you’ll recall that I wrote a recent article on what I called the “Bigotry Bigot-Tree” – what psychologists refer to as generalized prejudice. Specifically, those disliking one social group (e.g., women) also tend to dislike other social groups (e.g., homosexuals; Asians). In our recent paper (MacInnis & Hodson, in press), we found that those who disliked homosexuals also disliked bisexuals and asexuals. In other words, these prejudices are correlated. Heterosexuals who dislike one sexual minority, therefore, also dislike other sexual minorities, even though some of these groups are characterized by their sexual interest and activity and others by their lack of sexual interest and activity.
This anti-asexual bias, at its core, seems to boil down to what Herek (2010) refers to as the “differences as deficit” model of sexual orientation. By deviating from the typical, average, or normal sexual interests, sexual minorities are considered substandard and thus easy targets for disdain and prejudice. Contrary to conventional folk wisdom, prejudice against sexual minorities may not therefore have much to do with sexual activity at all. There is even evidence, for instance, that religious fundamentalists are prejudiced against homosexuals even when they are celibate (Fulton et al., 1999). Together, such findings point to a bias against “others”, especially different others, who are seen as substandard and deficient (and literally “less human”). “Group X” is targeted for its lack of sexual interest even more than homosexuals and bisexuals are targeted for their same-sex interests.
From news coverage of a recently published study (2016):
What should the average person take away from your study?
Since I first became interested in the issue, I have come to conclude that U.S. society is both “sex negative” and “sex positive.” In other words, there is stigma and marginalization that can come both from being “too sexual” and from being “not sexual enough.” In a theoretical paper, I argued that sexuality may be compulsory in contemporary U.S. society. In other words, our society assumes that (almost) everyone is, at their core, “sexual” and there exists a great deal of social pressure to experience sexual desire, engage in sexual activities, and adopt a sexual identity. At the same time, various types of “non-sexuality” (such as a lack of sexual desire or activity) are stigmatized.
For this particular study, I identified thirty individuals who identified as asexual and asked them first, if they had experienced stigma or marginalization as a result of their asexuality, and, second how they challenged this stigma or marginalization. I found that my interviewees had experienced the following forms of marginalization: pathologization (i.e. people calling them sick), social isolation, unwanted sex and relationship conflict, and the denial of epistemic authority (i.e. people not believing that they didn’t experience sexual attraction). I also found that my interviews resisted stigma and marginalization in five ways: describing asexuality as simply a different (but not inherently worse) form of sexuality; deemphasizing the importance of sexuality in human life; developing new types of nonsexual relationships; coming to see asexuality as a sexual orientation or identity; and engaging in community building and outreach.
I hope that average people would take away from this study the idea that some people can lead fulfilling lives without experiencing sexual attraction but can experience distress if others try to invalidate their identities.
Some of the social isolation we aspecs experience comes from religious communities. Indeed, the popular myth that religious people revere aspecs is very much NOT TRUE. For example, read “Myth 8″ from the VISION Catholic Religious Vocation Guide:
MYTH 8: Religious are asexual
Question: What do you call a person who is asexual?
Answer: Not a person. Asexual people do not exist. Sexuality is a gift from God and thus a fundamental part of our human identity. Those who repress their sexuality are not living as God created them to be: fully alive and well. As such, they’re most likely unhappy. All people are called by God to live chastely, meaning being respectful of the gift of their sexuality. Religious men and women vow celibate chastity, which means they live out their sexuality without engaging in sexual behavior. A vow of chastity does not mean one represses his manhood or her womanhood. Sexuality and the act of sex are two very different things. While people in religious life abstain from the act of sex, they do not become asexual beings, but rather need to be in touch with what it means to be a man or a woman. A vow of chastity also does not mean one will not have close, loving relationships with women and men. In fact, such relationships are a sign of living the vow in a healthy way. Living a religious vow of chastity is not always easy, but it can be a very beautiful expression of love for God and others. Religious women and men aren’t oddities; they mirror the rest of the church they serve: there are introverts and extroverts, tall and short, old and young, straight and gay, obese and skinny, crass and pious, humorous and serious, and everything in between. They attempt to live the same primary vocation as all other Christians do: proclaiming and living the gospel. However, religious do this as members of an order that serve the church and world in a particular way. Like marriage and the single life, religious life can be wonderful, fulfilling, exciting, and, yes, normal. Yet, it also can be countercultural and positively challenging. It’s that for us and many others. If you thought religious life was outdated, dysfunctional, or dead, we hope you can now look beyond the stereotypes and see the gift it is to the church and world.
NOTE: YOU CAN BE A GAY CATHOLIC PERSON BUT NOT ASEXUAL, BC ASEXUALITY DOESN’T EXIST (yet somehow we’re also “most likely unhappy” and “oddities”). I sincerely hope and believe that not all religions characterize us aspecs this way. But here are some personal accounts I found on a reddit site answering the question “Do any religions have a negative stance toward asexuals?”:
Please note that the Christian pastor in the last example was fearful (or something?) that an asexual was helping to lead a youth group and kicked them out of the church as a result.
LET ARO PEOPLE HAVE SEX
LET ARO PEOPLE BE VIRGINS
LET ACE PEOPLE DATE
LET ACE PEOPLE BE SINGLE
LET ARO PEOPLE DATE
LET ARO PEOPLE BE SINGLE
LET ACE PEOPLE HAVE SEX
LET ACE PEOPLE BE VIRGINS
How about instead of "Netflix and chill," we share our artwork with each other and talk about our favorite books/shows/anime/movies/etc?
Yeah, that sounds a lot more fun!
From Jughead, Issue #224 (January 1974). Reprinted in Archie 1000 Page Comics-Palooza
You are valid, don't let anyone tell you you don't exist
Just punch them in the face and ask them if that's real enough for them
📸: https://mushki-art.tumblr.com/
Pride month, am pansexual and is genderfluid- I’m thinking I’m pretty asexual as well sO-
“Let our colors soar as of our wings, freedom for all so hear us sing” -anonymous
They call me a triple A battery
Because I’m asexual, aromantic, and annoying as shit
Happy pride month folks
FUCK YEAH!
“ACES BELONG AT PRIDE”
a PSA for the naysayers and encouragement for those who need it. mostly the latter rather than the former, but for those who needed the PSA:
you’re welcome.
※ photos taken May 2018 at Tokyo Rainbow Pride. see more at queerascat.com.
Pride Month 2022, Yami_No_Kurama
Well, hello! Sorry, but it's not a Pokemon Uranium Comic update~ It's for tomorrow, I promise, don't worry. I just wanted to do the Pride Month for once. (Mainly because I feel confident enough in my drawing skills lately) Welp. There it is. For the ones who are new with the flags, here is mines: - Black, Grey, White, Purple lines: Asexual - Black Triangle, Grey and White big lines, Green small line: Demiromantic - Pink, Purple, Blue, White, Pale Green, Medium Green Lines: Neutrandrogyn (To make it easier use She/Her for me) Well, I guess that's it. See you tomorrow!~
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! I am a proud Neptunic with a gender that is fluid!
The people in this picture include Ranboo,Scott Smajor, LDShadowlady, shubble, Aimsey, Jammi Dodger, Jaiden Animations, Illymations, Minx, and Niki Niachu
can somebody tell me some more info about queerplatonic relationships as me and my friend are considering entering one and neither of us know much about it?????
i dont know if i’ve made a post about this yet but i wanted to go over my views on relationships and sex as i was rambling about it to my brother the other day
personally, i view sex as just another part of your relationship with somebody. like i will casually sleep with friends, but not all of them. some of them i will casually cuddle and stuff, but again, not all of them. it just depends on the relationship you have with them.
and when it comes to dating, again, i just view that as your unique relationship with somebody. i understand that not everybody views dating this way, and it’s a conversation to have with any future partners, but i personally would want to still sleep with and date other people while in a relationship, and would be fine with my partner doing that too. i don’t like the idea of devoting my entire body to one singular person.
Just realised I didn't do a proper intro and seen as I have a follower that I don't know Irl I may as well
Hello!I am a human (NOT two raccoons in a ski suit(I'm quite short)).Contrary to popular belief,I am queer (shocking I know)And the majority of my interests are extremely unheard of but oh well :)
The Seattle Aces & Aros marching up 4th Ave. in the 2024 Seattle Pride Parade
AHHHHHHHHGRJDHSUDHHEB YESSSSSSS BOTH THE REPRESENTATION AND THE X-MEN!!!!! TRASHY SPITEFUL MUTANT!!!!! 🖤🩶🤍💜 SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!!! :]
i had to
JaidenAnimations just made a video on being aroace, and good for her, you know? I’m happy for her.
but I’M SORRY
who gave the you the RIGHT to be inside my head???? the AUDACITY to feel to feel my feelings and think my thoughts, and be able to articulate it for others in a way I never could. EXCUSE ME, you mean to tell me I’m not the only one who feels this and that it’s valid???
is this the representation people keep asking for??? like, this derailed my entire day, how could it feel so good?????
Forgot to show an image of the main singers they were amazing!
Look em all so gorgeous
Just attended the Bellingham Pride Anthems show and had a blast!
This right here was so much fun! It was a concert with these three amazing singers who sung some of the best lgbtq songs in history along with telling important moments in lgbtq history!
And all that’s amazing but the two best parts were,
When my little sister was dancing she was brought to the front by one of the singers and got to dance with him!
Along with the fact that fucking James Cameron Mitchell was there!! The James Cameron Mitchell showed up on stage multiple times singing!!
Made my week honestly I had the funnest time there.
I drew my ocs and their flags for pride month!
My flags are your standard rainbow and non-binary flag :o
Serious question and just to know :
Is there a country where arocace people can feel safe, are not discriminated against and are protected ?? Especially a law that protects us or etc ?
I know that anglophone aroace people talk about Denmark because there are apparently a lot of people on the aro and ace spectrums.
Just asking cause I'm fck tired of allo society every day since many years now and also tired of all arophobia et acephobia on social media in the first place. 💀
And in my sh*tty country it's always "lgbT", hOMo, bI and transgender. WHAT ABOUT THE D*MN + ??????? ALWAYS ABOUT ALLOS PP FCK DAMMIT. 💀
(Of course : generality =/= globality !!!! Cause I don't hate all allos pp obviously. Some are decents, respectfull , share same values as mine and infinity open mind.)
•°•°•°•°•°•
My mood :
Second gif is for allos bigots, allo society and all their fck pathetic and disgusting sh*ts.
I hate you infinitely.
I had the reflection not long ago of why I was uncomfortable at school (regardless of grade level) apart from stress because of the oral to pass and being an introverted person :
Being aroace and have to stay stuck a whole damn day surrounded by allos pp horny asf and who will not understand me, who tell me about their s€x life (at what point do you think it’s fckin normal to talk about it as if it was a banal and interesting subject ?? Wtf ???💀) without taking into account whether it made me uncomfortable or not (I think they didn’t give a shit because it didn’t come to their mind, those dumbass...).
Being surrounded by queer pp but none of them had defended me when I had received acephobia from a straight guy one day and only watched the scene without saying anything. The fact that most of them with whom I hung out invisibilized or even forgot my aromantism by remembering only my asexuality (bitches I'm aroace dammit. I’m both. Not one or the other !) and couldn't remember or didn't know the definition of being aro or ace.
But the worst I would say is that by dint of receiving arophobia and acephobia in about twenty years in the face, as an angry person by nature and who doesn't appreciate disrespectful pp etc, I became allophobe...
But let’s be clear : I don’t hate all allos pp ! Even if I speak in general, be aware that : generality =/= globality !
I know that some of them are decent, respectful and open-minded and these are the pp I appreciate ! Unfortunately, I have never met someone like that before. Maybe one day...
So to return to the subject :
Am I the only aroace person to be uncomfortable at school ??
It's a bit rough sorry and sorty again if my english is bad, it's not my native language but I hope you will understand the essential !
Once I saw a comment on a instagram post about the ace, aro spectrums that said approximately :
"For me, all characters in any fictional universe are aroace until they show romantic and/or sexual attraction and I headcanon them as aroace/are part of both spectrums."
AND I AGREE WITH THIS PERSON IT'S SO OBVIOUS !
International Asexuality Day!!
Today, the 6th of April, is international asexuality day.
It’s only the 3rd year of celebration, as the day was recognised in 2021!!
It’s worldwide effort to recognize the asexuality community and promote understanding of the asexual spectrum, including all umbrella identities!!
Frankie being bi/Aro? ✨🛐✨
I bi/Aro too (And trans Male)
Even so no one else wants to agree with me, I'll just keep loving my silly hcs AND NO ONE WILL TAKE THEM AWAY FRM ME!
Wish you like the sketch. Kade, Dani, Graham, and Charlie are BI, while Cody is Pan/Ace and Frankie is Bi/Aro
YESSSS!!!
Everyone shall taste the rainbow!
wanna know why being on the ace spectrum is awesome?
Garlic bread.
Getting to eat garlic bread without anyone interrupting.
Confusing the straights when you get a partner (because people on the ace spectrum CAN HAVE PARTNERS) and still being acespec.
Garlic bread.
Did I miss anything?
The fish from the game "a girl adrift" as pride flags:
I had a lot of fun doing these :D
more like netflix and chili amirite
Eyyyyyyy
this post was supposed to be a lighthearted post about aspec people by highlighting them in a joking way that still instills positivity and pride in the identity .
unfortunately too many people are too chronically online and media illiterate to realise that so let’s break down the post.
‘shout out to the people not having gay sex this pride month’
this was intentionally a worded to counter the ‘have lots of gay sex this pride month’ jokes and positivity that surround pride discussions. The wording directly associates with anti-queer activity and their frequent attempt to divert attention from queer people during the month of pride. it is worded intentionally. it is supposed to seem counter active to pride .
the humour is then seeing a pride flag. specifically the asexual flag- in which case this stands for an umbrella term across the aspec community which is more recognisable than the variety of aspec flags that i had seen whilst looking for a flag for this post . the grey line of the asexual flag stands for the spectrum between allosexual and asexual it represents the degrees of asexuality and in so, with the purple, stood for the aspec community in this post.
if the joke is still lost on you, the idea was to read a statement that counters the idea of queer pride and find it recontextualised to humorously represent an identity associated with the lack of sexual attraction; ergo no gay sex .
what this post is NOT, is a comment on varied asexual attraction. it us not a commentary on what makes a valid asexual person or whether or not you specifically will have sexual inter course this pride month . it is not saying asexuals are not allowed to have sex . this post is pushing any stereotype of asexuality . op is a sex having aspec person. i am demisexual . i have been with my partner for almost 2 years and engage in sexual activity .
what this post IS, is a joke. it’s a fucking joke i cant make it any clearer. not every single joke is going to relate to your own experiences and that’s ok. not every post about asexuality is going to relate to your own experiences that’s ok. you need to stop taking things at face value and actually engage in some media literacy to understand when something is a reductionist and stereotyping commentary which is inherently negative and when something uses a reductionist approach to convey humour because a lot of you really seem to be struggling with that one.
i fear a lot of you take yourselves too seriously and can’t find the humour in simple tumblr shitposts to the point where i’m having to actually explain what i thought was a very easy concept to grasp because it has upset a lot of people . stop taking everything so seriously .
if you are offended by the original post that is actually a you problem. that is something you have to work on where you cannot accept any form of lighthearted media that does not directly align with your own experiences . bc it’s not serious . it’s a joke x
also allo people can fuck off bc this is literally a post celebrating aspec ppl idc if your gf lives across the country or if you’re just a single loser this literally has nothing to do w u
yall make me want to kms for making me do this
