sk1nnyvanilli

Latest Posts by sk1nnyvanilli

One sad truth I realized recently is that no one outside of our bubble can understand how it feels. No one can understand what it feels like to just not being able to eat more, even if we want to. To just not having the strenght to eat, face our fears or sometimes even to get up.

It hurts so much not to be understood, not even by my closest people. I sometimes feel like they don't even worry nor care. They just tell me I should "just eat more", then I'd be fine...

It is not that fu**ing easy! If it was, then why do I hate myself even when I go the slightest amount over my self-set "calorie goal"? If it's supposed to be that easy, why do I hate myself when I see any "imperfection" or don't do sports for only one fu**ing day?

I just wan't to be understood or at least seen, but no, even the one's I slightly told what's on my mind don't seem to care...

Well, the fast didn't went as well as I wanted... I ate 350calories. But I have to say, I was forced to eat by my family, so idk I still feel guilty...

I'm invited to a B-Day Party next friday, so maybe I should try not to eat anything till then(would be 5days including friday)

Let me know in the comments, if you think that's a good decision!

Have a good day!

Omfg, today, I binged so hard! Like I ate 1200cals… I‘m feeling so guilty rn. Guess tomorrow I‘ll eat nothing!

I‘ll update you tmr in the evening how it went…

Anyways, some Inspo:

Ate around 500calories today(yes, more, than I wanted to eat). But also burnt like 900cals by judo Training.

I'll try to eat less tmr! Also, I'll have a math exam tmr, so wish me luck pls...

Stay consistent and have a nice day!🦋😘

Ate 993cals today... It's okay I guess, cuz I burnt more than 1000 calories with martial arts training. Well, I try to eat less than 300cals tomorrow!

Hope you had a nice day! Stay consistent!!<3🦋

Hey guys! Today, I ate 399cals. Guess, I should be proud or at least glad, that I didn't ate more. But honestly, I feel nothing at all. Not bad, but neither happy. Y'all know?

Hope y'all had a nice day!!<3

Can someone pls tell me, why I feel like a disgusting, worthless piece of shit after eating 1000cals, even, if i'm still undereating?! I don't get it...

Heyy guys, I'm so sorry for not being that activ on tumblr for such a long time. I hadn't had much time because of lots of exams and stuff. I'll try to post more often from now on.

Today, I went to Barcelona with school. It's a school exchange. Guess it'll be a really nice experience, but the driving by train the whole day was literally so exhausting, that i slept almost the whole time.

Luckily, I only ate two ricecakes today!!(makes 58 cals!!!)

Stay on track and have a nice week!<3

I tried Dr Pepper for the very first time and sorry guys, but for me, this tastes horrible in comparison to real coke or energy drink!

I‘ll stick to my opinion.

Okay, today I‘ll restart the diet, I already shared with you. I’m gonna be consistent this time. No binges, no excuses. I want to lose weight, so I have to work for it.

Have a nice day and stay on track<3

BTW, a bit Thinspø:

Hey guys, today was all fine and I ate only one rice cracker for breakfast and half of that salad bowl for lunch:

(I only ate the veggies and left the quinoa on the plate)

But then, as soon as I came home, I binged…

I felt so bad afterwards(still feel), that I had to purge. But guys, I swear, that was my last time purging and to prevent that, also the last time binging!

I‘ll try rlly hard not to mess up, so wish me 🍀

I‘m gonna tell you my progress<3

*abt the pancake recipe* you better share ❤😠🔪

Yeah, sure🦋❤️😅

The recipe makes 6-8 pancakes and the whole is about 140cals

You need:

1 egg white, 30g or 1/4 cup flour, 60ml or 1/4 cup almond milk(or anything else), 1tsp baking soda, 0 cal sweetener(mine was with vanilla taste)

The strawberry is just decoration, but you can add whatever u want…

Love to share such recipes, I can find more, if you’re interested! 🥞🌸

These are literally the best low cal pancakes I’ve ever tried!

They have only 20cals per piece and r sooooo delicious!

If you want to, I can post the recipe…

Dietspø

Hey guys, from tmr on, i'll try the following diet:

Well, i don't think, i'm rlly going to lose 10kg with this in 10 days, but anyways, wish me luck🍀🦋

Btw, are you interested in Mealspo, if so, i'll try to make it pretty. Pls comment if you want me to post smth like that.<3

If you wanna eat something rn, think twice: Is it really worth the crying, the purging, the self-hate after eating this one disgusting little piece of food? No, it’s definitely not! Eating won’t make you happier, but dropping on the scale, fitting into smaller clothes and noticing others being worried bout you barely eating anything, will! The feeling of an empty stomach, the way you feel, if you can proudly say, that u haven’t eaten for like 5days or longer>>> That’s what will truly make you happy and make you feel worthy!!! 🧚🏻🦋🧚🏻‍♀️

Stay consistent<3

Well guys, I can’t stand myself like this. Guess I’ll purge to prevent gaining from the food I ate..(even though it would be just the weight of the food😞

Well... No, actually not well, today, I ate!

It was only a Salad and a protein shake(122cals). But I don't know how many calories where in the salad😭 But I guess, it's less than 300, so maybe i've eaten like 400 cals this day...

I was spontaniously eating out with my mom and a friend of mine and it would've been suspicious, if I wouldn't have eaten anything, so I chose a low cal option.

Won't eat anything else today and I'll continue fasting tomorrow for another few days!(for me, drinks like, coke zero or black coffee don't count, cuz it has less than 3 cals...)

Okay, but the problem is, i'm rlly blosted now, cuz my body isn't used to that much food anymore. And tmrw is a dance party, where I have to look good(well, at least skinny). I hope the bloating will disappear till then. Maybe I'm going for a run to burn off the cals.

Hope your day was better than mine!

Update

Sooo, well, today I consumed like 37 cals. I know, i'ts not nothing, but it was an energy drink and gum. Guess i'ts okay... especially in fact, that I burnt like 900 cals with martial arts. Good night, hope you also had a good day! ⭐🦋

Hey guys, i'll try not to eat anything for at least the next 6 days! I'll only drink water, tea and zero cal energy or coke. If you want to, I can update you by the end of next week, how much weight I've lost.

Today, i ate 199calories. 1 Chai Latte and 3 Dates.Also, i burnt 1.719cals with martial arts Training!

Tomorrow, i'll try to fast, but i havn't done it in a while.

A bit TH1NSPØ:

I don't know, if it already counts as th1nsp111, or if i'm still too fat.😬😅

Anyways...

Heyyy, i'm back!!!

Today, i ate about 597 calories.

I know that's a bit much, but i was like 2 weeks ill and just didn't felt like ⭐ving today. Well, for me it's okay, 'cause in my opinion, being sick and having to take antibiotics isn't the right time to st4rve and also, i ate under my calorie limit of 600.

Ate only 345kcal today, but still feel guilty...

Breakfast: 130g Strawberries(42kcal)

Lunch: green Smoothie(140kcal)

Dinner: 2 Rice cakes(57kcal)

And was forced to eat a slice of bread(106kcal)

Every day gets better with coffee or coke zero!!! Need my caffeine...

So, today i ate 406 calories:Noodle soup(350kcal) and Olaf ice cream from Frozen(55kcal) also a coke zero(1kcal)

Idk, was it too much?

Just a little reminder for myself

Whenever you're hungry, drink 1l water first!

If you still fell hungry: eat an apple.

If not: don't eat!

I guess, we all know you won't be hungry anymore...