Vulnerable - Blog Posts

Your touch is like electricity on my skin. I jolt at the feeling of your hand on my back. It makes me feel both safe and completely vulnerable at the same time, and I crave it when we are together.

You are my drug

His lips landed on the stranger’s jaw and he imagined it was Harry’s.

I’m so sorry, he thought. And he placed each gentle, wet kiss like an apology, leaving a trail of repentance.

Traces of stubble scratched his lips. He raked teeth down the man’s neck, heard him groan. He sucked the skin there and tasted sweat.

Harry after Quidditch. Harry with stubble. Harry under him, moaning.

~

yes so I wrote this thing I’m actually quite proud of it it’s not cheery but it’s hella raw and I might write more so :)

Muggle London, Gay Bar, Hook-Up, One Night Stands, Pining Draco Malfoy, Gay Draco Malfoy, Angst, Eating Disorders, Unresolved, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Kissing, Neck Kissing, Moving On, Roleplay, Self-Hatred, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Sensuality, Crying, Men Crying, Eggs, Internalized Homophobia, Pining, POV Draco Malfoy, Grinding, Vulnerable Draco Malfoy, Past Sexual Abuse, Boundaries, Consent, Oh also, Indian Harry Potter

Whenever I wait for you

whenever I wait for you, you never show. whenever you say you wanted to talk, you never ask.

whenever I asked for you to be there, you never came.

whenever I gave you a gift, I never got one. whenever I made time for you, you were too busy.

and maybe— i do this to myself because i hate myself. maybe i'm just meant to be unloved by people i want to love me. maybe i just overthink every little thing, and at the end of it all i'm just not meant to be with you.

I strive to make sure a day never passes, where I haven't laid bare all my thoughts to you.....

🥰 He gives Her no reason to doubt it 🥰

That just about says it all..... It's why I try to say it often

Fragmented I strain to hold myself together.

I try to reach and parts of me fall to the floor. No matter how I try to hold it in, the only way to keep myself together is to hold myself tight.

It hurts to reach, to watch the vulnerable pieces of yourself, the ones you've picked up, dusted off, cut your fingers to hold, slip away, fall to the dark for another.

I reach for your glow.

Not worthy.

Not entitled.

Not out of despair.

I reach because I must, because the first time seeing you was all it took, to invade my head, to spin my thoughts, kicking up parts of me long since dormant.

I reach out of sheer need.

I don't care what happens to me.

She can give and I'll be so blessed. She can choose not to shine upon me and I'll stand, waiting for you.

I know I'm not the best. I know I'm not the kindest. I know I'm not much of anything in this life, but for long as I breathe, keeping my beating heart going in this temporary husk I'm in...... I'll be all I can be for her.

Even in doubt, even when I feel like I'm farther away. Even scared..... I will not give up reaching... I will reach until my arms start to spasm, until my body aches from wait, long since weary...... I will reach.

I bare myself under the light of the moon.

Vulnerable, open, I give you my all.

Open up

It's important to me to show the people around me how I feel. Dropping the mask, putting me through to others. This is not an easy task and requires a lot of effort. Feelings of shame and worthlessness are spreading. Opening up to this vulnerability is unfamiliar.