Masculinity - Blog Posts

“we didn’t have the intention to redefine masculinity, but it feels good that we can have this positive effect or influence” — namjoon talking about breaking masculinity standards

https://youtube.com/shorts/3kgQESAB9j4?si=7rl9ME7NpPRTNNMB

Father's are the True GOATs

~🖤~

Autosabotaje Cuando pensaba qué estudiar decidí que podría ser bueno en cualquier cosa así que me incliné por trazarme un futuro como químico, quise complacer a mi madre que veía con ojos prometedores a mi hermano que estudiaba físico-matemáticas "mis hijos son unos chingones" decía y lo peor es que le creí. Mi infancia estuvo basada en la competición, siempre estaba compitiendo con mi hermano mayor y siempre perdía por diferencia de edades. Como hombre debía ser siempre el mejor, no importaba que quisiera ser barrendero, tenía que ser el mejor barrendero de México; si me peleaba en la escuela y "perdía" madre me golpearía peor -por pendejo-, sacaba dieces o nueves porque si no me pegaba -por pendejo-, cuando algo me salía mal por intentarlo la burla caía sobre mí -por pendejo- y así. Aprendí que como hombre tenía que ser SIEMPRE chingón, fuerte, ganador, inteligente, capaz. Aprendí a competir por amor, a dejar a un lado mis necesidades para conservarlo, a tenerle miedo al fracaso, a menoscabar a otros para minimizar su potencial de ganarme, etc. Hice mío todo aquello que me dijeron, lo interioricé a tal grado que hasta se lo enseñaba a los niños de mi derredor. Entonces me hallé inscrito en mis prejuicios, fracasé en química, en mi relación de pareja, al elegir a mis amistades; no me soportaba ni a mí mismo y le tenía pavor a intentar nada, entonces entendí que lo que me llevó a ese punto fue lo que aprendí de niño y me lo creí -por pendejo-. . . . . . . . #masculinity #acrylicpainting #contemporarypainter #art_ curator #experiences #flesh #autosabotaje #conceptions #boxed #impressionism #contemporaryart #acryliconwood #figurative #figurativepainting #body #isaacCM (en Mexico City, Mexico) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpYLBvIgayT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=4qnvcqezrm9q

Crecimos por fuera pero no por dentro #lanostalgiadelosgigantes. Se grow on the outside but not on the inside. . . . . . . #contemporarypainter #mexicanartist #watercolorart #contemporarywatercolour #nostalgia #masculinity #giants #childrenplay #acuarelacontemporanea #mexican #isaaccruz #mosaic #newnarrative

Cuando tienes la mente en blanco...

“Entrega” - pastel sobre tabla texturizada.

Is it okay for a masculine guy to be drawn to women with more feminine traits? I don't know why I'm stuck on this, but I find myself really attracted to feminine energy—not the needy or childish kind, but something in between that feels right for my soul. I'm trying to figure out if I should go for someone with a more feminine vibe or someone with a more masculine energy.

Who be judging these cases.. The judge should be sued👀😳😯😮😲

COOOWWBBOOOYYYZZ💪🏾💯🏈💫⭐🌟.

"... Mind turning around?"

(Repost - after Tumblr moral policing)

It is indeed funny to observe a fully grown, quite-masculine a man to show his softer side and request for a permission to use my hips. And mind it, it’s not something that’s apparent only in the men I have known before, but even with most that I have been sent as a courtesan to, or even by the ones I got myself ‘hunted’ down and then taken away with him.

I have observed that most men, feel that the conquest over their woman isn’t complete until they have done something that is drastic enough to either make their efforts to do it look satisfactory, or, they have inflicted (which sometimes may just be a belief) pain on their woman to make her cringe before him and submit. Both of these conditions are satisfied when they receive the consent to do it there, for no matter how experienced one is, it still needs effort to get into the ‘position’ and the inflicted ‘pain’ when the union happens.

In either case, an element of force becomes necessary for him to convey the message to the woman that she is his property, for minutes/hours/days, however temporary the ownership is. The need to establish control has been a fundamental criteria, more with the men who have hunted me and those I have been sent to as a part of my courtesan arrangement. My husbands have been more secure and they know that they don’t need to ask me for my permission to use my hips. They have developed the ability to sense my mood and know the answer even before they would ask. The hunters, on the other hand would feel the need to exert authority and it is often when after they have attained the primary satisfaction, and is in mood to pleasure himself once more, would have popped the question, “mind turning around? really feel like using your hips”…well, that’s actually a much watered down version of the actual words used to convey their desire.

Being asked that question makes me feel proud as a woman. It tells me that he found me attractive enough to want to explore more about me. The element of pain involved in allowing a man to 'use my hips’ is always present, but the satisfaction from knowing that I am being owned by him and he is getting satisfaction from ‘using me’ for that phase is exciting enough for me to usually consent to his request for use.

And peaceful

Having a man lead and make the decisions for you is so comforting 💕

Gender Roles in Marriage: Embracing Change in Modern Marriages

  Marriage, once perceived as a union rooted in strict gender roles, has undergone a significant transformation in recent decades. Traditional gender roles, where men were expected to be the primary breadwinners and women the homemakers, have evolved into more fluid partnerships. Modern marriages are witnessing a paradigm shift, challenging societal norms and fostering a new era of equality and…

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Mini-Review and Rant: Monsters University, Anti-femininity, and Some Other Stuff

So, this time I am going to have a little rant. I always think that feminism is important, but I usually try not to hit my readers over the head about it. But not today. Because oh boy, I have a lot to say about Monsters University.

I am not sure why Monsters University particularly irritated me. Probably because it’s Pixar, and I do expect better from them. Pixar is famous for producing high-quality, critically acclaimed children’s animation movies, some of which are my absolute favorites. They are also usually excellent at handling femininity and masculinity, and the majority of their movies are non-gendered (neither a girl’s film or a boy’s film). The second reason is probably because I just finished Pop Culture Detective’s thoughtful video essay about “The Complicity of Geek Masculinity on the Big Bang Theory”, so the topic about masculinity and femininity is fresh in my mind.

Anyway, let’s review Monsters University! (Includes spoilers for Monsters University and Monsters Inc.)

Monsters University (or MU for simplicity in this review/rant) is a prequel to Pixar’s Monsters Inc. (or simply Inc). MU tells the story about how Mike Wazowski and James P. “Sulley” Sullivan met in university, way before they worked for Monsters Inc. In MU, Mike is not a scary monster, but he is determined to be a Scarer and works hard for it. Sulley, on the other hand, is a preternaturally gifted Scarer and serves as Mike’s rival for most part of the film.

MU, on its own, is a good film. It has good set up, a definite arc, and satisfying conclusion. It has characters we care about, and it’s pretty funny too. But it’s when we think beyond the scope of the film that things start to get… shakey. First of all, the story arc of MU is immediately undermined by Inc. MU is about how Mike works to achieve his dream to be a Scarer in the company, but we know in Inc that Mike does not even get to be a Scarer. In Inc, Mike serves as Sulley’s partner, which is basically an assistant. So during MU’s runtime, we already know that all of Mike’s hard work in MU eventually will never pay off and he will forever live in Sulley’s shadow.

Also, Inc’s whole premise is about how Mike and Sulley revolutionize their industry by retiring Scream Energy and switching to Laugh Energy instead, because they met Boo. But instead, all of MU is about glorifying the act of scaring. I know, the events in Inc happens after MU, so Laugh Energy is not a thing yet, but there are ways to incorporate a more cohesive theme throughout the two movies. Probably one of their friends from Oozma Kappa could make an off-hand remark about how they wish there’s another energy source other than children’s scream–just something to foreshadow what will happen in Inc. But there’s no such thing in MU, instead MU is laser-focused at idolizing the scaring industry. Which, again, is fitting when we think about Mike’s arc in just MU, but completely falls apart once we consider the broader theme from Inc. 

And that’s all I can say about MU, from the filmmaking standpoint. From here on out, I want to discuss about the representation of social themes in MU. Let the rant begin!

Our protagonist is Mike. Kind, small, with big round eyes, and is underappreciated for his whole life. While the antagonists, the fraternity brothers of Roar Omega Roar or ROR (pictured above)--and also Sulley to a certain degree--are big and muscular, cocky, aggressive, and intimidating. I think it’s safe to assume that ROR is meant to represent the ultimate form of masculinity (they’re fraternity bros, for starters), and, as a consequence Mike and the Oozma Kappas (pictured below) represent a more feminine form of masculinity. You might accuse me of “reading too much into it”, which I think is fair assessment if every other little thing does not reinforce my point.

I also know what you’re thinking: Isn’t it a good thing for feminism, that our protagonists (Mike and the Oozma Kappas) are the more feminine of the bunch? Not in MU, because their whole arc is that they really, really want to be like Sulley and ROR. Also, the movie is relentless at making fun of characters for their femininity. In fact, baking and hospitality, which is usually viewed as a part of femininity, was literally spelled out loud as “L-A-M-E” by the movie. When the movie wants to make fun of a character, they used glitter, flowers, stuffed animals, heart signs, and dream journals with unicorn and golden stars.

The message of Monsters University is clear: masculinity is coveted, while femininity is viewed as lesser and deserves to be made fun of.

I think it’s no coincidence that there’s no notable female character in MU, aside from Dean Hardscrabble. Hardscrabble is one of the good things in MU–she’s legitimately scary, firm, but kind. Other smaller female roles are Squishy’s mother (who is mostly used as comic relief), and sorority groups HSS (the goth one, pronounced “hiss”, who I don’t even think has any speaking role) and PNK (pronounced “pink”, because they’re girls. GET IT??). PNK consists of six non-descript, identical cheerleader-type girls, because…. GURRLS, am I right?

In a comedy movie, it’s important to ask ourselves, “Who do we laugh at and, and who do we laugh with?” Answer: We laugh at the Oozma Kappas. Always. So eventhough Oozma Kappa eventually wins the Scare Games, the takeaway is that they won despite their more feminine form of masculinity, not because of it.

Which is a shame, because none of that animosity towards femininity exist in Inc. No character in Inc is outright masculine or feminine, except the ultra-feminine and flirty Celia (Mike’s girlfriend) but she’s never shown in a particularly negative light. Sulley in Inc is not even particularly masculine. In fact, his defining characteristics in Inc are his kindness and his paternal relationship with Boo.

And I want to emphasize that even though I am here to talk about the portrayal of femininity in MU, it is not about the women. It is about the men. With MU as example, it is clear that feminism is not just a woman’s fight–it’s everybody’s fight. Look at how miserable Mike’s life is in MU. Even though he is kind, smart, and works hard, he is belittled because he does not fit the standard definition of masculinity. Mike is only miserable because of the arbitrary societal rule of “how men should be like". So it is clear that misogyny not only affects women, it affects men too. As Emma Watson once wisely said (paraphrased) about feminism, we can only be truly free if women are allowed to be strong and men are allowed to be sensitive. But even in the end of MU, Mike and the Oozma Kappas still end up conforming to the idea of toxic masculinity.

There’s another thing that I want to discuss about MU. I did point out that the entire plot of MU is about glorifying the scaring industry, which is fine in itself because it fits Mike’s arc (a Scarer is not a real career choice anyway). But the movie also goes out of its way to depict other geekier career choices like scream-can architect, or more creative ones like dancer, as–for lack of better word–lame. So MU basically teaches children who watches the movie that a career in STEM and in Arts is neither an important nor fulfilling career choice (Direct quote from the Dean, “Scariness is a true measure of a monster. If you’re not scary, what kind of a monster are you?”). That’s totally not cool, Monsters University, not cool. (I could add a paragraph’s worth of rant about how MU depicted Scarer as an ultimate “masculine” career choice, but I digress. The article is as long as it is.)

So… yeah. This rant/review is all over the place because I have a lot of things to say, but I hope this will give you a new perspective. Pixar, you could do better.

The morning after- from episode 2

SPECIAL TREATMENTS.

- from episode 1

SAME SPIRITS, NEW FORMS.

It's been a week since the third season of THE WHITE LOTUS came up. More than on any previous season- I felt immediate strangeness and mystery. So we have a disfunctional white family, a fake friendship triangle, a mismatched couple and Belinda from Hawaii season.

My big appreciation to the show is for the breathtaking Thai location! Greg Hunt re-appears too, I wonder what that sh**head does there after his scheme to kill Tanya McQuoid RIP. But I'm here to talk also about Saxon Ratliff (aka Schwarzenegger jr)- the firstborn loser-ish, pervert sibling who sex-bullies his sister and wants his brother to get laid.

The episode took us to a peculiar yet sexy scene during which he gets up from bed next to his lil bro, fully naked- to jerk off in the bathroom. And what nice jewels this Schwarzenegger has! I watched Patrick here n there and I would say he has an impressive appearance. I'm curious about what happens next and who dies... Oh and more nudity please.

I want to be supportive of women and girls getting to be their masculine self nowadays but it's really hard because I'll always be a bit resentful and salty about the fact I wasn't even allowed stuff like the Cars movies and playing with hotwheels. Telling my family I wanted to shave my head partially is probably my first gender related traumatic event.

Maybe I'm wrong for feeling that way, but I can't help but feel a lot of mixed emotions when seeing women, and especially little girls nowadays, get to be happily masculine as kids/teens or even young adults.

A collage I am showing this month at The Tavistock and Portman Clinic.

Team: Winter Light

 Framed, 40 x 30 cm (SOLD) 

A combination of some older collage papers which I started working on in the nineties. The branches are from a magic tree in St Pancras Old Church Yard.

Do pop in to have a look 8am - 8pm, Monday - Friday until 31 January 2024. 

The exhibition is in the library corridor - check in at reception (they’ll give you a badge)…go through the doors on the left…then in the next main corridor, left again.

Please tell and bring your friends, family, colleagues, and anyone you think will be interested. 

Address: Tavistock Centre, 120 Belsize Lane, NW35BA 

Pictures are for sale.