Lycanthropy - Blog Posts

Being a lesbian and nonhuman at the same time feels.. strange.

Because, like, human girls are these absolutely stunning, almost unreal beings. They're beautiful beyond words, the kind of beauty that can only ever be conveyed through the careful plucking of guitar strings, or through a vibrant splash of paint against barren canvases. They hold the stars in their eyes and flecks of gold in their hair, as if the forces of the cosmos themselves hand crafted their forms. They're soft and gentle and warm, but also strong and fierce and an unbelievable force to be reckoned with. Once when I was young, I got caught outside during a tropical hurricane and was almost lifted into the air by the winds; that is the closest thing I can compare to the feeling of falling for a girl. They are everything that a human being should be and more.

And then, there I am. A beast. This.. thing that stalks the woods in the darkest hours of the night, with dirt coated matted fur and piercing amber gaze, unseen and uncomprehended by man. Constant yearning, hunger. For flesh, for bloodlust, for isolation and freedom, to be feared, to be whispered about in hushed tales around a withering campfire. The creature in the forest, didn't you hear? If it catches you alone on a full moon it will peel your skin away from your body with fangs the size of your palms. Stay close. Your measly pocket knife won't do much in its wake I fear. A wild, snarling thing that flinches beneath humanity's touch and rejects their "civility" in favor of the murmuring creek that sings old and long forgotten hymns to the ancient mountains above.

I know when they look at me they see one of them, a human with soft skin and kind eyes, a human who smiles at them and perhaps offers a passing compliment, a human who always tries to coax the timid street cat and watchfully steps around sidewalk slugs. A human. But that is not what I am, at least not in the way that they are. And when I look back at them, with my green eyes that I wished glowed amber, I can't help but wonder "How could someone so divinely human find companionship with something so desperately unhuman as me? How long until you realize the humanoid body you see before you is merely a flawed disguise? Will you still grasp my hand with fond affection when it warps into a mangled paw?"

Earlier today I was making a ceramic necklace pendant and was like "hey, I wanna make something werewolf related I can wear" so I was thinking and started wondering if there was any kind of general "werwolf symbol" out there that I could carve onto said pendant.

I found out that there is! It's an ancient shield emblem originating from Germany and Eastern France called Wolfsangel, which translates to "wolf's hook" and was sometimes associated with lycanthropy, and was later adopted by peasant revolutionaries as a symbol for German liberation in the 15th century. Pretty cool right?

Well not so much actually.

Im really really glad that I kept researching before I started carving because apparently Wolfsangel was actually appropriated by the Nazi's during WW2 and is now globally classified as a hate symbol. Great :|

All of this is to say that I think it's about time we created/found a new symbol for werewolves, one that doesn't have a shitty double meaning lol. Something like the theta-delta or elven star, but for werewolves (or werebeasts in general) specifically. Not sure if one already exists somewhere, I couldn't find one while researching but I wouldn't be surprised if there was one tucked away in some dusty old 2000's internet forum that someone would like to clue me in on. But if not, I think it'd be cool to start trying to figure out a new one, something that anyone who identifies with the "were" label for any reason can use!

If for no other reason, than at least just so I can find something to put on my pendant lmaooo

Ever since I learned to cut the "but I know Im still completely human btw" bullshit in regards to my nonhumanity and instead just embraced the whole "Im literally a werewolf" mindset, Ive honestly been sooooo much happier and more confident with myself and my identity.

I feel so much more in-tune with my authentic self, and my overall expression is much better aligned with how I perceive myself. My species dysphoria certainly hasn't disappeared, but it's miles more manageable than it was even compared to a year ago, which ironically has also helped me learn to love the parts of me that are still human. Im so much more balanced now, and the internalized shame I struggled with for so long is steadily eroding away. Even something as simple as casually making jokes to my friends about how they might catch me prowling the forest on a full moon is infinitely more affirming than constantly trying to convince humans that I "didn't actually believe I was an animal".

I am a real life lycanthrope. I'm never going to deny that part of myself ever again. Fuck trying to make yourself palatable for human social norms.