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Killing Myself - Blog Posts
Where have you been lovely?? We miss you
hi hi !!! sorry for being on hiatus for so long ive been in a weird depressive episode and my dog just died about an hour ago so i havent really been feeling up to writing lately but i do have a few almost finished pieces in the drafts so stay tuned (人´∩｀)
sorry for venting holy crap
Enji, Toya, and the little bird guy
EVAN BUCKLEY & BOBBY NASH
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Writing Advice: 10 Worst Experiences During the Writing Process😭
The experiences to prepare for, and to relate to during the writing process. Good luck fellow author!
10. When you are trying to think of the perfect word thats right at the tip of your tongue. (Its worse when you loose the word all together)
This one is at number 10 because it is horrible, but you are still mentally active and not ready to cry yourself to sleep. Though it stinks!
Solution:
Think of a similar word, usually the second one on your mind and look for synonyms on google or other sources. The word you’re looking for or a better one may come up. If not than either choose one of the options or look for synonyms of another similar word.
9. When you write something that may not be correct so you research the topic for an hour. (I’m not talking about the big stuff you should have looked into before you started writing, exp: cultures, I mean basically meaningless stuff)
This has happened to me twice (once about horses and once about how to grill a pig) It’s second on the list because it takes up more time than the first one and it’s annoying. But usually not demotivating.
Solution:
Do not do it.
8. When you read an article or watch a video about writing and realize you have been doing it wrong the entire time.
Do I have to explain?
Solution:
Take in the advice if you like it and continue on with your book using the advice but do not go back and change what you have already written. Leave that to your editor self.
7. When you are irresolute (look it up) because of a family/friend. colleague/ exd’s opinion. (I mean they talk down at you for being a writer, or something similar)
This is hard on our feelings box and/or heartbreaking. But this list is mostly my opinions and since I haven’t felt the crush of this fully, its higher. I am sorry for those who have been hurt.
Solution:
Don’t listen to them! In fact, let it fuel you. Show them who can do what! Or who can be successful! You can do anything!
6. When you feel overwhelmed. This may be because you can’t make yourself forget that you have so much to do before finishing the book. Maybe your busy.
The editing, marketing, and paying are what overwhelm me. The writing phase is not particularly easy, but it was less stressful for myself. It may not be the case for you. You may still have chapters to finish, a world to build, characters to create. It could be very stressful.
Solution:
Make it fun! Make it a game and your going through the levels. Once your done creating your world and characters, you can finally write! The thing you have been waiting for months!
Remember, you are building your world. Enjoy every moment of it. Because one day, you will finish your book or series and you have to say goodbye to your baby and creation. Enjoy it while it lasts!
5. Losing motivation to write.
Are you surprised this is only half way down the list? I’m not. Even though this is horrible, it’s not the worst thing. There are simple solutions.
Solution:
It may be different for everyone but here’s a few ideas that are good for me.
1.Start writing. Yep. If you just write, that motivation will soon come back. (This works best if you are very familiar with your characters)
2. Look back through your notes and future plans. Get excited, again, for your book or series.
3.Watch videos and read articles about writing 😉, they can help you get through the problem or just be fun.
4. Remind yourself why you want to write and why writings fun. its different for everyone but reading is an example.
5. Sleep, be healthy, socialize, get sunlight and fresh air, exercise. These can clear your mind, get you in a good mood and helps your overall day.
4. When you realize your dialog sucks or unnatural.
This may not be as bad as some of the others I already mentioned, but dialog can help or ruin a book. Dialog can spark ideas of character development, relationships, sub-plots, or even how to continue the overarching plot. But if you do it wrong, it can take forever to fix.
3. When you are stuck. You want to write but you can’t think of anything. I like to call this Writer’s Traffic instead of Writer's block.
This is one of the worst case of scenarios for me as a writer because I want to write but instead I am staring at a computer screen.
Solution:
Skip the scene. Skip the next few lines. Leave a note for yourself so you can come back to it at a better time.
2. When you realize you don’t know your characters enough.
It’s hard to admit, but when your character is inconsistent and its not part of their personality then you have a problem. You may even have to rewrite most of your book if you’re far in. If you don’t know your characters and your on chapter 4 then stop now and save yourself.
Solution:
Do character questionnaires, explain anything important in their past. Anything traumatic they have experienced, their personality, how they would react in a certain situation. It’s really important to know their background (Note: You need to know, not your readers unless necessary)
Link to a character questionnaires. https://www.writerswrite.co.za/prousts-questionnaire-35-questions-every-character-should-answer/ also they got some awesome writing advice!
1.DUN DUN DUN!THE LAST ONE! When your writing (or lack of) has an effect on you daily life and you feel absolutely miserable.
You would be surprised how often this happened to me, It’s almost like a heavy depressed feeling that makes it painful to basically do anything.
Maybe it’s outside writing that makes you feel this way but you just can’t write. Everything is dull and grim, your head hurts or you have no motivation to do anything.
You just can’t.
Solution:
Use your miserableness as a motivation. You want to get rid of it, right? Then you must do what helps. Here’s a few tricks.
1. Drink water. Perhaps your dehydrated.
2. Exercise. This one is really helpful on more than your emotions. Do this before considering taking a nap, because naps can make it worse.
3. Go to bed earlier. If your like me than your nocturnal but if you simply go to bed at 10 then you will feel much better in the morning. I suggest reading or doing something other than look at a screen before going to bed. Screens can make it troublesome to fall asleep.
4. Socializing. You may be awkward but at least you have a mother? A father? Grandparents? A best friend? Siblings? Random people online? Anyone who can distract you, and make you feel better. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a pleasant conversation, just one that won’t bring you down. Socializing can make you feel so much better.
5. Get a horrible beta reader. (this is a joke…kind of) A beta reader is a person who reads your book or a chapter and gives feedback. A good beta reader is honest and gives praise and criticism. This is what I meant for a bad beta reader. Someone who you trust who will probably be scared to hurt your feelings. Even though it might not be true, positive feedback will help.
That is all I have! I hoped you enjoyed! Have a Fantastic day! I will be posting again soon!
I have this whole universe in my head that’s been brewing for like a week where Nendou and Kaidou are dating and Kuboyasu and Saiko are dating and they go on double dates all the time and Kaidou and Saiko are both trans guys and Kaidou doesn’t know Saiko is trans until Nendou spills it cause OFC he knows for some reason and Kaidou asks Saiko for advice abt it and they’re all best friends
THAT SHIT WAS SO ASS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
theyre saving the budget theyre saving the budget theyre saving the budget theyre saving the budget theyre saving the budget theyre saving the budget theyre saving the budget theyre saving the budget theyre saving the budget theyre saving the budget theyre saving the budget theyre saving th-
i cant take this man seriously (ill draw a fullart someday i promice)
They both look like spiky dildos with small balls
(I’m gonna look crazy to my jhutch followers..)
School spirits s2 teaser is FREAKING ME OUT.
why was Charley choking? who was on the hospital bed?? why was Xavier in a HOSPITAL GOWN. maddie and Wally’s kiss? WHY WAS THE FUCKING SCHOOL ON FIRE.
I’m crashing out and you’re telling me I have to wait till JANUARY??? GENUINELY WTF IS HAPPENING.
also sorry me tweaking is the first post from me in MONTHS..
SPOILERS FOR SEASON 3 DR
I love that Lloyd is still bad at emotions.
Like he isn’t bad in the sense that he can’t deal with them, but more like he knows how important they are.
But because of this, he really struggles to be like helpful in an emotional conversation.
We see this when he says “I have to believe if master Wu did this…it was for a good reason”
And then when Arin understandably sees it as some sort of excuse, he immediately stutters and doesn’t know what to say. He wants to clarify what he means, but he doesn’t want to sound like he’s making more excuses.
Like we see it to a far lesser degree in SOG when he and Harumi went for that walk. When she talks about how tough it is being a princess, Lloyd comes back with a sorta “yeah I know right?” But that time the mood is lighter so he actually has space to explain his word garbage.
(Like I truly believe Lloyd is an awkward man who struggles with actually normal people communication. Like he can do the formal “I am the son of the son of this famous guy” bit or the “we greatly appreciate your help” kinda phrases no issue, but if you’re like trying to talk to him normally it can be hard.
Anyway I feel like Lloyd might be autistic because like me he seems to struggle with communicating how he feels. Instead just expressing it when he’s so sad or angry he can’t hold it back anymore.)
But I got side tracked. My point is that Lloyd is trying so hard to be a positive force in these kids lives and it is killing him because he doesn’t know how to do that when he’s like actually trying.
Thinking about JB and Jude lately…
JB, who was Jude’s first friend. JB, who carried Jude to the college hospital when he witnessed him having an episode in their dorm.
JB, who shouted and made a scene in that same hospital until a doctor finally saw Jude - and that doctor was Andy, the only physician Jude ever allowed to care for him for the rest of life.
JB, who helped Jude move into the apartment he shared with Willem on Lispenard St. JB, who brought along his friend Richard to help that day. Richard, who later sold Jude his beautiful apartment on Green Street that Jude loved so much. Richard, who secretly looked after him more than Jude ever imagined, who at one point saved his life, and at another point reminded him his birthday was worth celebrating, when Jude himself had forgotten and his world was bleak.
JB, who envied his life, his looks, his career, his relationship (even his limp!). JB, who saw him as competition, rather than someone to pity. JB, who thought he was beautiful, who thought killing something small and adorable was worth it if it meant looking like Jude.
JB, who brought him to parties, who showered him with laughter and provocations.
JB, who asked too many questions and wanted all the answers but got none of them. JB, who then asked Harold to back off from asking all the questions and wanting all the answers as well.
JB, who captured his life in galleries, on canvas, on film. The good and the bad.
JB, who’s art invaded and celebrated and decorated. JB’s, who’s art froze Willem in time for him.
JB, who was Jude’s last friend. JB, who Jude resented, who Jude hated, who Jude never forgave, who Jude wanted dead.
JB, who found him at last, who put away his suits, who handed out his letters.
JB, who outlived his friends, who was left alone, with his pictures, and his paintings, and his pain.
Cause you and I. We were born to die
