Find your tribe in a Sea of Creativity
Our journey starts with Desmond, Altair, Ezio, Alexios, and kassandra were lost in the woods hunting for siren head. Ok so long story short the gang were all sent out on a mission for a piece of Eden that had mysteriously vanished off raider in the woods. It was soon revealed that siren head had taken the piece of Eden, so their mission is to find siren head then fine the piece of Eden.
Desmond: ok guys stay close and quiet. We don't want siren head to find us.
Altair: I still don't understand as to how this creature even is real.
Ezio: I don't care if this creature is real or not, it creeps me out either way.
Kassandra: oh don't be such a baby Auditore, the sooner we find the piece the sooner we can leave.
Alexios: Hehe, I just want to hunt down that monstrous creature and have it's siren head on my night stand!
Desmond: Ssh! Alexios keep it down! Or siren head might hear you!
Altair: this is f@#$ing ridiculous, how do we even know this thing is even real-
*tornado siren goes off in the distance*
Desmond: guys...
*heavy footsteps come marching closer*
Ezio: uh oh...
*siren head emerges from the tall pine trees*
Kassandra: SIREN HEAD!!!
Desmond: everybody run!!!
They all start running for there lives, except for Alexios.
Alexios held his ground as siren head now stood a foot away from Alexios.
Desmond and the other stop when they saw Alexios standing in place.
Desmond: BRO ALEXIOS WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!
Alexios glared at siren head as he saw that siren head had the shroud of Eden rapped around its lamppost like neck.
Kassandra: BROTHER DON'T DO IT! ITS NOT WORTH LOOSING YOUR LIFE!! WILL FIND ANOTHER WAY!!!
Alexios continued to stare the creature down as siren head did the same. Siren head then screeched a might roar that made even a deaf man's ears bleed. But Alexios was not having it.
Altair: oh boy...
Alexios:... *takes a deep breath* NOW LISTEN HEAR YOU F@#$ING lanky stick lookin @$$!!! Bro! Have you even eaten! Have you even eaten! Bro! Your not dummy THICC your dummy STICK ya skinny F@#$ing b@#$!
Alexios: *pulls out some beef jerky* You need this more then me DON'T YA!!! COME EAT IT! YA LIGHT POST PIECE OF SH*T!!! F@#$ YOU!!!
Desmond: 0_0
Altair: 0_0
Ezio: 0_0
Kassandra: 0_0
Siren head: 😥
Desmond: oh geez
Siren head goes and cries by a tree.
Desmond: ya- ya didn't half to do him like that Alexios.
Another headcanon inspired by the boys from joshdubs. And as always I'll have a video link below. 👌 and a thank you to Trevor Henderson for creating the infamous siren head.
Somewhere in the north of the Pacific Ocean. Ezio, Desmond, Altair, and Connor were lost at sea on a raff that was just barely able to hold all four of them. Altair was tied to a wooden pole in the middle of the raft as to prevent him from drowning in the water. Desmond sat at the edge of the raft with his feet in the water. Ezio and connor were both holding on to one side of the raft in the water to keep it from drifting off track. they had been a drift for about 2 hours, spirits were already at a low as to their rescue when ezio had an idea to get them back up again.
Ezio: *starts humming the mighty jungle* in the ocean the mighty ocean the... Italian swims to night~🎶
*Light chuckling can be heard from the others*
Ezio: in the ocean~🎶
Connor joins in: the mighty ocean the Italian swims to night~🎶
Ezio, connor, and Desmond: in the Ocean the mighty ocean THE ITALIAN SWIMS TONEAUGHT~🎶
Desmond and connor: Yaaa~🎶
Altair: Ba heeeheee heee~🎶
Ezio: spaghetti al pomodoro~🎶
*everyone starts laughing while Altair just chuckles*
In Abstratego's office building elevator.
Jacob: *doing the orange justice dance* no no don't touch me there. this is my no no square no no don't touch me there this is my no no square~🎶
*elevator door opens*
*Maxwell, shay, Haytham are standing there with their swords and guns up at Jacob*
Jacob: no no-
Jacob: .... No no don't-
*Maxwell tries to pull Jacob out of the elevator but Jacob jerks back into the elevator*
Jacob: Whoa whoa whoa! I am sick of you disrespecting my NO NO SQUARE!! this elevator! is my no no square.
Jacob: *pushes button to the first floor*
*door closes*
Jacob: no no don't touch me there this is my no no square~🎶
Maxwell, shay and Haytham are left standing there confused and slightly disturbed.
Now in space for some reason...
Desmond: now that we're in space we should be safe from the virus.
Shaun: hey Desmond somethings wrong with the wifi it's not working.
Desmond: what you...
*Everyone sees Jacob playing on his tablet*
Jacob: yay now with this wifi I can get all~ the battle passes.
Desmond: *grabs Jacob's tablet and Yeats it to the other side of the room*
Jacob: MY BATTLE PASS!!
*Jacob runs over to the other side of the room to get it*
Desmond: which one of you idiots gave him the wifi password? What was the wifi password?
Altair: I thought it was hide your kids, hide your wifi?
Desmond: *snickers*
Shaun: wait Ezio weren't you in charge of the wifi password for the ship?
Ezio: ya I thought it was *Italian gibberish* 695?
Desmond: what does that translate to?
Ezio: it doesn't...
Desmond: I distinctly remember it was Shaun's job to come up with the password.
Shaun: ok yes it was my job to set up the wifi password. When I was setting it up Jacob may or may not have looked over my shoulder when I was setting it up, but the password was-
jacob: *tablet in had* JACOB SUCKS 69!!! HAHAHAHA! HEEHEEE!
*Jacob rund out of the room while playing fortnite on the tablet*
Altair: Jacob get back here!
Desmond, shaun and ezio: Jacob!!
Jacob: I'm going to buy the battle pass~!
Desmond: Jacob get your @$$ back here!
Jacob: IM IN SECOND CIRCLE BOYS! just 32 people left! I'm going to get a victory royal!!
*they catch up to Jacob and they fight over the tablet and get it away from Jacob's hands*
Jacob: NOO MY BATTLE PASS!!!
Desmond: this hurts me more then it hurts you Jacob. Tase him!!
Altair: *tases Jacob*
Jacob: AAAAAAH!
3 minutes of tasing later
Desmond: he's going to be out for a bit. He's going to be perfectly-
Altair: STOP RESISTING!!!!
*Altair starts shooting at Jacob some a lot*
Altair: STOP RESISTING!!!
Everyone: WHOA!
*Ezio and sean try to pull him away for Jacob*
Ezio: stop!!
Shaun: CALM DOWN Altair!!
Desmond: CHILL OUT DUDE!!!
*shaun and Ezio had both Altair's arms and push him against a wall as they yell and scream at Altair trying to get him to stop*
Altair: He is resisting!
Desmond: hold him back guys! hold him back!
Altair: He's resisting... *sobs* he's resisting... *sobs*
Desmond: Altair?
Altair: *sobs*
Shaun: Altair what's wrong?
Altair: *takes deep breaths in and out while still sobbing a bit*
Altair: I can't help it, when I see someone just... RESISTING... it just reminds me of my childhood...
Desmond: hey it's ok Altair.
Ezio: just relax.
Shaun: you'll be ok.
*Jacob wakes up*
Jacob: g-guys guys!
Ezio: Jacob!
Desmond: Jacob?
Jacob: Whoa! Whys he crying?
*Silence for a moment*
Altair charges at Jacob at full force.
Desmond, ezio, Shaun: NO NO ALTAIR! STOP!
Jacob: whoa Altair we can play together! Look it's two player. *shows tablet*
Altair: *pulls out gun and starts shooting at Jacob*
Jacob: AAAAAH! NOT AGAIN AAAAAH!!
Desmond: NO!
Ezio: ALTAIR STOP!!
2 minutes of shooting later
Desmond: oh no you just shot him like 500 times! Does anyone know CPR?
Everyone: ....
Ezio: Ah no...
Ok look I know nobody asked for more of this.... I was bord... have fun with more of this dumb stuff 👌
Altair: hello there and welcome to Altair's cooking show extravaganza.
Altair: now here we have a middle eastern potato *grabs gernade* now what you want to do is just slowly cut in the middle of it as to not get the detonator- *click*
Altair: oh sh*t uh uh APPETIZERS!
Alexios: Ooo appet- *explodes in the middle of the door way* AAAAAH!
Desmond: haha!
All the of Desmond's assassin ancestors and Shaun have infiltrated Abstratego to save Alexios with each of them having guns with them.
Desmond: Ree- I'm mean Alexios!
Alexios: *autotuned voice* WHat dO YOu WAant?
Desmond: Alexios we're here to save you!
Alexios: WHat Do YOu f**king MEaN save me I am perfect- *Jacob gets a little closer to him*
Alexios: GEt ThE F**k Away FRom ME!
Jacob: *shuffles back*
Alexios: Put THe f**king guns dOwn or I'm gOnNA to pull the GrEnADe!
Desmond: ok everyone put your guns down!
Alexios: *pulls grenade pin* Uh Oh I JUsT PuLlED the GERNAAAADE!
Desmond: haha!
Everyone: *backs away from Alexios*
Alexios: *holds grenade out* OOOOO You BeTTeR STAY AWAY~
Altair: *throws small plastic bottle*
Alexios: Whoo THe F**k threw THat PLaSTic I WILL STABE YOU!! SKSKSK SAVE THE TURTLES!!!
Alexios: PRASE A LOOOOOOOONE! *Explodes*
Desmond: OOOOH!
Altair: Allright gentlemen, I'm not going to lie to you, we are in some serious sheeet. The zombies are knocking on our door step but I think what really ticks me off the most is-
Alexios: *slaps Altair in the face so hard he passes out while Alexios rees super loudly*
Shaun: holy sh*t! You killed him!
Desmond: *laughs in the back ground*
Alexios was placed in a hole that was sealed shut while reeing in the sealed hole in the ground.
Altair: I have seen the rings of stare, I've walked across the gates of Dacuba... I-I don't have an answer for this.
Alexios: *escapes the hole*
Altair: this is why you get your kids vaccinated.
Alexios: my mom fully vaccinated me... wait a minute. *a hole threw time and space opens up to ancient Greece*
Alexios: MOM DID YOU VACCINATE ME! WHEN I WAS YOUNG!
*mom responds back*
Alexios: OH OK THANKS I GUESS IM GONNA F**KING DIE NOW!
*Desmond and shaun laugh in the background*
*portal closes*
Shaun: so what did she say?
Alexios: so uh hmm, I have about 5 seconds to live now, I love you all and-
*Alexios faints*
Shaun: what? WHAT THE F**K JUST HAPPENED?!?
Desmond: h-he died he got herpes.
Altair: does this mean I'm replacing Alexios?
Shaun: ya
Desmond: ya ya ya. Hold on, were you vaccinated?
Shaun: were you?
Altair: no I was vaccinated, but now I gotta learn how to ree
*Altair clears his throat*
Altair: Ahm... *makes a serious face* reeee
Alexios: *rises back up* Do I smell, a motherf***ing challenge. You thik you could take. my. throne!
*Alexios gets up in Altair's face*
Altair: it pretty easy when it's so damn small!
Alexios: Well no sh*t I'm f**king fat!
Shaun, desmond, Altair: wait what?
Desmond: t-that's not how it works.
Alexios: I challenge you to a f**king ree off c***t!
*Alexios and Altair clear their throats*
Alexios: REEEEEEEE!
Altair: reeee
Alexios: REEEEEEEEE!
Altair: reeeeeeee reeeee
If you guys have any better ideas then this you can ask or if you want more of this... ask or if you just never want to see this again.... don't ask... ya =)