If This Ain't The Truth - Blog Posts

family dinners

draco: oh grow up POTTER

harry: you’re an annoying little git aren’t you

draco: why you—

ron, to his concerned family: you’d think they hated each other, but they’re actually engaged. crazy fools, they are

hermione, sipping hot chocolate: it’s best to leave them to it…biscuits anyone?

i am begging everyone to watch this video right now

so my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying the other day and we did the whole “professor and bad student who needs to pass” thing, only he wanted to be the professor, so I had to be the horny and failing student. I’m the valedictorian of my senior class of 400 and I have a horrible phobia of flunking, so when he whispered “you’re failing my class, you naughty girl” in my ear, I started crying and we had to stop

Draco Malfoy, a summary

What Harry thinks he’s like:

What his friends think he’s like:

What the Gryffindors think he’s like:

What his parents think he’s like:

What the fandom think he’s like:

What he thinks he’s like:

What he’s really like:

muggle 1: hey, do you ever hear from that kid in primary school with the weird name…hermione, that was it.

muggle 2: nah she kinda dropped off the radar a while back

muggle 2: weird thing though, her parents moved to australia for a bit and stopped talking about her

muggle 1: what?

muggle 2: yeah, like, my mum’s friends with her mum, and they just moved one day? hermione wasn’t with them, though, and they stopped mentioning her at all

muggle 1: didn’t she go to some fancy boarding school? i bet she’s, like, training to be a spy

muggle 2: dude, you’re so full of shit

Whenever Hagrid finally decides to retire as Care of Magical Creatures professor you can bet your last knut that Charlie Weasley flies back to England the following week excitedly waving his resume and recommendation letters from no less than two Scamanders and the Minister of Magic, Hermione Granger.

i’m just sitting here dying of laughter thinking about McGonagall looking over Harry in first year like yeah the kid gets into some dangerous shenanigans but it always seems to be for a greater purpose and his heart’s in the right place and he’s so sweet and quiet usually, clearly he takes after his mother Lily thank goodness this is good this boy is good 

and then dead ass one year later kid shows up to school crashing into a tree with his bestie in a flying car instead of just owling the damn school that they’d missed the train and she’s just like DING DONG I WAS WRONG

some kid comes up to remus lupin in fifth year like “I KNOW YOUR SECRET!!!”

and remus freaks out, this is literally his worst nightmare come to life, he’s stammering “i-i don’t kn-know what you-”

and the kid just shouts “YOU SMUGGLED YOUR DOG INTO HOGWARTS! I SAW YOU TALKING TO IT!”

and remus just stares at this kid. in the background, sirius is losing his shit

lucius malfoy joined the death eaters for the aesthetic and has been slowly backing out of that life choice ever since

JK Rowling: I shall name him my villain Voldemort. It is French for “fleeing from death”, indicative of his primary desire to become immortal, and the fear that motivates him.

JK Rowling: These two characters can turn into a black dog and a werewolf

JK Rowling: theyre called black dog and werewolf mcwerewolf

Draco having an extensive amout of knowledge about Harry is my fave thing, like some Slytherins will go "Potter looks too cheerful today" "well, maybe it's his birthday", and Draco is casually like "nah, his birthday is July 31st", and everyone is like "what" and Draco is like "what?". Gryffindors passing him in the courtyard, Neville be like "Harry, wanna some strawberry gum?" and Draco mutters to himself "he's allergic to strawberry, Longbottom, Merlin..", and the Slytherins like "not AGAIN"

Oh my god this is so real and powerful and canon

I love this

The real Hogwarts mystery is why you only eat sandwiches at every meal.

The Fandom @ Cursed Child: ugh, we refuse to accept 90% of this as canon, basically just fan fiction, fake news

The Fandom @ Hogwarts Mystery, a self-insert video game: *GIANT RED STAMP* CANON.