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She can’t be stopped

How the commercial is shot

OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?

I JUST

GUAM?

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

the most important thing to remember when making a grilled cheese is that you can season the cheese and no one can stop you

My unsuspecting followers:

Me, about to go on a serious reblogging spree:

I don’t know what I was expecting.. but it was NOT this

just came up with a really good 4 word cooking horror story but idk if you guys are ready for it

thanks for following me but you’re gonna regret it later

honestly saying “oh it comes with lore” about anything that has text explaining the use and or contents is one of the funniest th

“what’s the worst fruit” i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. ‘the worst fruit’… has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt

gaslight, preheat, grillboss