I Like Torturing Myself :)

Oc

I’m going to name this character Cassie she’s a tattoo artist, I would say she’s a poly lesbian, she’s a Virgo, 24 years old. Likes cats and hates cigarettes. (I use ai since I can’t draw)

Maybe you prefer if I was in pain? Do you like to see me cry? I know you do, you love it when I’m hurting which is why you kept doing it :)

Last night I was terrified to fall asleep because I felt like I was being watched again :(

hi, i feel alone and i want attention

...and love

...and kisses

...and maybe hugs

...and please stay with me until i fall asleep

Women are the true chaos

I’ll burn myself because my feelings don’t matter :)

I’ll burn myself because my voice doesn’t matter :)

I’ll burn myself because it makes me feel good :)

I’ll burn myself because I get treated poorly by the majority :)

I love mother :)

I want to return to mother

why did you have a crush on me? why did you keep pushing for sex when I said no multiple times? Why did you even like me? Why didn’t you listen to me when I spoke about my feelings? Why are you so selfish? Why are you an asshole? Why don’t you care? Why do you lie so much? Why are you delusional? We still could’ve been friends but you broke my trust and made me feel disgusted in myself, you brought back my disgust in sex you made me realize how much I hate my vagina again, why didn’t you listen why? Why are you telling people what they heard is a rumor knowing what you did? Why didn’t you listen? Why are you playing the victim again? I have a boyfriend why didn’t you listen? I don’t want to have sex with you why didn’t you listen? I don’t like you why didn’t you listen? I don’t secretly like you why didn’t you listen? I developed hatred for you because I realized you crossed my boundaries multiple times and I didn’t say much back then because I still wanted to be your friend but I’m human I could only take so much you made me mentally exhausted it was a chore to be your friend sometimes I didn’t even want to be on call with you because I knew you are sensitive and we would argue over nothing I hated the way you disrespected me over stupid arguments why didn’t you listen? Then I stopped caring I found new friends who didn’t treat me the way you did and I slowly stopped caring you, I would care if you listened the first time we still would’ve been friends, but after the people I met what is there to care about a friend who didn’t care about my feelings? Who played mind games? Who let me know my voice doesn’t matter? Who only cared when I threatened to leave? What is even the purpose of being my friend if your going to treat me this way, my new friends made me realize you are the problem and I didn’t deserve any of this my new friends gave me hope that I can form friendships with my disorder if you listened I would still be there with you, I would probably be on a call with you right now, we would probably be making jokes or I would make up a silly argument because those silly arguments were fun but I don’t trust you anymore you’ll probably sexualize me again and that makes me feel dirty like I have to shower why didn’t you listen?