Latest Posts by houseofashesbrainrot - Page 3

Nick: *throws shade*

Rachel: pick it up. Now. 

Rachel: Why are you smiling? Nick: What, can't I just be happy? Jason: Eric tripped and fell outside.

Nick: Why are you so mad at me? Is it because I slept with Eric?

Rachel: YOU WHAT?!

Nick: Fuck, it wasn't that.

Zain: I can’t find my phone

Jason: I can call it for you

Zain: wait no-

Phone ringing: you are my dad (your my dad) BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

Zain:

Jason:

Zain: I can explain-

Salim: you all would not have if did not do it first!

Jason: y’all’dn’t’ve’f’i’dn’t’ve

Salim:

Salim: what the hell is wrong with you

Alternatively

Jason: ow! son of a bi-

Salim pointing to Zain: Jason! children!

Jason: … isexual. son of a bisexual.

Jason: ow! son of a bi-

Salim pointing to Zain: Jason! children!

Jason: … iscuit. son of a biscuit.

Nick: nice save.

Jason: yeah. fucking nailed it.

Jason, watching Zain steal something: Man, what an idiot, where are his parents?

Jason:

Jason: Oh shit, I am the parent

Zain: *watching TV*

Jason: Ah, you're watching Sailor Moon? I love that anime. The way they just–

Jason: *clenches fist*

Jason: Sail all those fricking moons.

Clarisse: What's up guys? I'm back.

Jason: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Clarisse: Death is a social construct.

Salim: Jason, can you do me a favour ?

Jason: i would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my dna at the crime scene and take the blame for you.

Salim: cool i guess ? can you do the dishes please ?

Jason: no.

Salim, eating a cinnamon roll:

Jason, shaking his head: cannibalism.

Salim: *confused chewing noises*

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE TEACHERS PEOPLE IN THE BACK

“you’re [insert age here] and should already know how to—“ very inappropriate way to start or end any conversation with a disabled person <3

Jason: *pointing* Can I sit there?

Salim: That’s my lap.

Jason: That doesn’t answer my question

Zain: i made you a friendship bracelet.

Jason: you know, i'm not really a jewellery person.

Zain: well you don't have to wear it if you don't want t-

Jason: no, i'm gonna wear it forever, back off!

Salim: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Jason and I are dating.

Jason, Nick, Rachel, and Eric: *gasp*

Salim: Jason, why are you surprised?!

Zain with Tariq in town: I did that adult thing you can do where you buy an entire cake and just eat it.

Zain: I am eating an entire cake.

Zain: Update: there is more cake than I imagined.

Zain: I see now why my dad didn’t let me do this.

Nick: Hey, Jason? Can I get some dating advice?

Jason, sighing: Just because I'm with Salim doesn't mean I know how I did it.

Salim, thinking about Jason: I could fix him

Jason, thinking about Salim: I could make him worse

Nick: Jason, Are you free this Friday at 8:00 pm?

Jason: I guess, yeah.

Nick: And what about you, Salim?

Salim: Yes, I am.

Nick, clapping his hands together and smiling: Great! Because I’m not. You two have fun on your date!

Jason: Wait-

Salim: Did he just-?

Jason: We can’t have Salim come to his party yet. The sign’s not finished- it’s supposed to say ‘Salim’s Birthday’

Nick: What does it say now?

Jason: ‘Salim’s Bi’.

Jason:

Jason: Nevermind, that’s perfect. We’re ready!

Nick: Do you support gay rights?

Jason: I am literally dating Salim.

Clarisse: He's dodging the question.

Pre-marines Jason: it’s always ‘how high are you’ and not ‘hi, how are you?’ 

Jason: Are you a painting?

Salim: What-?

Jason: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

All of the confused marines: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG HIM OR SOMETHING-

Jason: How do you know how to kiss? like who teaches you?

Salim: Well it’s actually a class, but sadly it’s full at the moment now.

Salim: Would you like private lessons?

Nick: Damn that was smooth.

Salim: Everyone has their demons

Salim, holding Vampire!Jason: This one is mine

Eric, teaching Jason to drive: Okay, you're driving and Salim and I walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? 

Jason: Oh, definitely you. I could never hurt Salim. 

Eric, massaging his temples: The brakes, Kolchek. You hit the brakes.

Eric: What the fuck is Jason even doing?

Nick: HIS BEST!

Jason: Salim and I don't have pet names for each other

Nick: what do bees make?

Jason: Honey?

Nick: huh, really thought that would work

Jason: ha! You idiot

Salim, from another room: yeah?

Salim: Hostage or not, sometimes it's nice being held.

Jason:

Jason: Are you okay.