Depressivecouple - Depressive Couple

Things to know when you love someone suffering from depression

“When the depression holds you down, life becomes water. The air around you becomes water that paralyzes you with its weight and even the simplest tasks are difficult at once. You feel lazy, mentally and physically, and nothing can free you from it.”

Outsiders often find it difficult to understand what happens in people suffering from depression. To this day, some prejudices and myths about the disease persist, which makes it difficult not only for those affected, but also for the people close to them.

The worst thing is fear It’s not just the fear that it will never be over. Or that it could get worse. It is also the fear that friendships or relationships will break with it. That people turn away because they simply don’t understand the situation. Because they can’t understand that appointments sometimes have to be cancelled at the last minute because it’s just not a good day. If you love or are friends with a depressed person, you should let him know as often as possible that this fear is unfounded.

It’s a real disease. Depressions are considered mental illness, but that doesn’t make them any less bad and no less noticeable. They are not visible, and perhaps not tangible, but that does not mean that they are not there. In fact, they can be proven. If the brain lacks chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline or norepinephrine, this triggers a mental imbalance.

The simplest things can be a big challenge For a person with depression, it can be a challenge to get out of bed. To take a shower. To drive to work. Those who have never suffered from depression cannot understand this. That’s why you just have to trust that the person is telling you the truth and not trying to compare your reality with his or her reality.

There’s not always a logical reason Depression is deceitful. Affected people can have a good day and suddenly the depression pulls them into the abyss. There does not always have to be an understandable reason for this. Sometimes sadness can hardly be explained, the pain can hardly be put into words. Don’t try to find a reason you can relate to. Try to accept the situation.

Depression doesn’t disappear when you “pull yourself together” Sayings like “Get a grip on yourself” or “get over it” are incredibly hurtful for people with depression. They reinforce their sense of disappointment. Of course, they try to overcome the disease. But just like any other disease, it doesn’t work overnight. It’s a fight, not just a decision.

You probably don’t know how bad it really is People with depression often try to hide the real abysses of their condition. Often they don’t want to admit to themselves how bad they feel and that they need help. If you love a person with depression, it is quite possible that he has not told you how gloomy it really is in him. Maybe because he wants to protect you both and your relationship.

Your loved one doesn’t want to be a burden on you People who fight against depression don’t want to be a burden on others. They don’t want to transfer their negative mood to others. Depressive do not seek attention or compassion - on the contrary. What they crave the most is to be treated like everyone else.

There is more than one reality When someone is obviously going through a difficult time, it is a natural impulse to describe his own experiences to make it clear that one can understand his or her suffering. But in most cases you can’t do that. Your reality has nothing to do with his or her reality. Most of all, you can help by listening.

Their depression has nothing to do with you If you love a person with depression, it is important to understand that his or her state of mind has nothing to do with you. That can be very difficult sometimes. If your partner is in a bad mood, the fear that it could be because of yourself is obvious. But it is important to understand that a person’s depression basically has nothing to do with anyone but him-/herself - not you.

It’s okay if you’re dissatisfied Loving someone who suffers from depression is a challenge. They need your love and attention, they need to know that you support them. But that doesn’t mean that your feelings and moods count less. If you’re dissatisfied, you can say the same thing. This is the only way to find out what works best for both of you.

Someone’s always there for you. No matter what.

Contacts

Contacts imply the willingness to show myself. Without contact to the people around me I would become even more lonely. Yes, I am actually dependent on it in difficult situations. As the mental pressure increases, help takes on a different meaning.

Open up

It's important to me to show the people around me how I feel. Dropping the mask, putting me through to others. This is not an easy task and requires a lot of effort. Feelings of shame and worthlessness are spreading. Opening up to this vulnerability is unfamiliar.

What are your three favourite bands? (I know it's hard to choose but at least to have an idea)

I think I have a very unusual taste in music.It's a bit hard to answer, because I don't commit myself to a band or music genre, but rather to individual songs. It depends on the mood I'm in.Flight Facilities, Flume and Metronomy are worth a shot though.

I would never ask you to wear a mask for me in order to hide what you’re going through. I love you, no matter what.

Missing you so much

Everything feels so heavy without him

what am I supposed to do

Cant trust them. I dont know them. Something is missing. Cant even trust myself.

It feels like I cant go on any longer like this

I dont like the thought that the things I remember really well right now are a part of me. I want them to unhappen.

All these thoughts in my head I dont want to think. I really cant talk about some of my thoughts. I ’d have to kill myself if I ’ll ever talk about it. It ’s too much. I am too small.

How am I supposed to handle all this stuff?

What are you missing the most in your life at the moment?

@emmazinzin

Tell me something about your s/o!

It is so difficult to express in words what I feel for her, because she is unique to me.

She touches my heart and soul so deeply. How can I describe what she means to me? Not a single word seems to have enough content to fill these feelings.

She is the life-giving impulse that gently touches the flower in the morning and persuades it to open up and show itself in all its beauty. She is as unique as this young flower in its full splendour for me. Among all the flowers in a garden, I would recognize her because she is unique. Only her shapes and colors fit me and I would see that, even if someone else couldn’t tell her apart from her flower sisters.

She is unique to me because each of her looks hit deep in my heart. If she is sad, I feel with her with every fibre of my being. She’s totally my nature. For her I am ready to explore and experience something new, which she likes, and I'll also take her with me to areas of life that are so far unfathomable for her, if she wants me to. I want to learn to see the world with her eyes, to perceive the scent of a rose as she does and to learn to love the people she likes. If she wants me to, I’ll show her the world as I see it and share my friends with her if she wants to.

I want to share and experience all this with her because she is unique. I sincerely hope that it will be similar for her and that together we can enjoy life in all its beautiful facets and help and support each other when life becomes more difficult. Because she is unique to me, I only want her love from the bottom of my heart for now and ever.

We hope for joy, ease and success in life. Unpleasant aspects such as sadness, loneliness and illness can be left out. Wounded life takes place behind closed doors. Somewhere where, if possible, nobody sees us. For a long time I approached my goals full of energy and passion. With enthusiasm, perseverance, patience and willpower everything seemed to be possible. It's a nice feeling. To set out to discover the world. Until I was suddenly torn out of my dreams.