PSA

Rings of Power meme dump part 10!

I think I underestimated how many of these I have.

Pope Francis has died.

I know to a lot of people on the left and in the LGBTQ+ community, he wasn’t exactly seen as a holy herald of progressive values. That said I think he was more helpful to our community than we have ever really given credit.

The Catholic Church is hugely entrenched in the past. They may not ever accept gay marriage within our lifetime. But if you compare Pope Francis to any other Pope that came before him, he did more to progress the Catholic Church than anyone else ever has. He constantly spoke out saying that the church needed to accept LGBTQ+ members. He has denounced laws that criminalise homosexuality. He supported same sex civil unions—which I was literally taught was evil and dangerous when I was in Catholic high school. Transgender people can be baptized and same sex couples can be blessed because of him.

He was never enough, of course. He has affirmed the teaching that gay marriage is not spiritually possible and prior to becoming pope he opposed the legalization of same sex marriage. He has said gay children should seek psychiatric care. He has also been even less accepting of transgender people than same sex couples.

But at the same time he was the most empathetic Pope to have existed in the past several hundred years. I have left the church because I no longer believe in God, but I do recognize that the Catholic Church has power over huge swaths of the world. My mother still believes in her Catholic faith and has always stood by this idea: it’s impossible to move a behemoth organisation like the Church overnight. She stays in the community because she wants it to become better. She pushes, in her own small way, a little bit every day towards what she thinks is right. In this conversation, that is the acceptance of LGBTQ+ youths. Pope Francis was helpful in moving the Church away from a stance of hate. Now I hope that whoever the cardinals choose next for pope is someone who joins her in pushing that ball forward.

I really like this, I once explained QPRs as looking at the rules for established relationship types and saying "No, we don't like those," and then building your own relationship, taking pieces you like, leaving what you don't, and even adding your own stuff if you want, to make a new thing that works for you.

i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.

the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.

I like this image of Gil-galad destroying Orcs in the background while Elrond is chatting with Narvi

Low Opacity Elrond: the trifecta

sometimes i question whether im actually ace or not and then i see allo ppl talking and go "oh. oh god yea definitely ace"

triggers for dysautonomia flare-ups ✿

these are some things I have noticed, either in myself or in other people, which tend to make symptoms of dysautonomia worse or even cause a flare.

environmental / external:

heat

cold

humidity

changes in barometric pressure

not meeting body's needs:

dehydration

hunger / low blood sugar

sleep deprivation

poor quality sleep

not taking breaks

other bodily-related stressors:

stress

exercise

being upright for too long

drugs / certain medications

raising arms above head

lifting heavy objects

squatting / bending over

strong emotions

standing up too fast

period / menstrual cycle

dietary:

caffeine

sugar

carbs

dairy

alcohol

fatty foods

artificial sweeteners

eating too much / too little

eating too quickly

This. They hate all of us, we're not any better to them.

There's also a bit of... I think unintentional support of other queerphobia when people say stuff about how asexuals aren't doing anything. As the post discussed, we are seen as a threat to a lot of people, but I think the intent when aspecs say this is more like "we're not hurting anybody/doing anything wrong". But the thing is... Neither are trans people or gay people or other queer identities. When people say stuff like that, it's almost agreeing like "I can see why you don't like them, but we're different".

So there are several issues. I do think a lot of it comes from people not really knowing aphobia exists or even within our community not understanding how strong it is in some groups.

tbh I really dislike how aphobia tends to be discussed whenever there's some kind of incident that makes it visible to general society. The most common response seems to be some variation of "why would anyone hate asexual/aromantic people, they aren't even doing anything" and it just always sits wrong with me. It paints such a passive picture of our existence and feels like a comment influenced by the level of invisibility that aspec people have in society. Why would you be annoyed by someone who is practically invisible? Just go back to ignoring their existence, it's easy!

But despite the invisibility, aspec people are actually doing quite a lot of things that will piss off queerphobic, right-wing and religious people (and hell, even left-wing people). And the most obvious point is that we are actively not performing heterosexuality the way they want us to. People who's entire world view is "cis men and women should be in monogamous, heterosexual marriage and have (white) babies" are not going to lean back and say "oh but those asexuals and aromantics are fine". They will also hate our guts, and they will come up with all sorts of reasons, including insinuating we're all secretly into bestiality, or mentally ill, or not human, or attention seeking children. It's just plain old queerphobia, and like all queerphobia, there's no inherent logic to it which you can worm your way out of by "not doing anything".

And like, there's a lot more that aspec people do which people hate. Raising awareness about amatonormativity? People feel attacked, they hate it. Asexual people having sex? Or not having sex? People hate it! Aromantic people being in (seemingly) romantic relationships? People fucking hate it! Aromantic people having sex? Ohh people hate that!!

I guess the existence of aphobia can be confusing when you haven't spent much time thinking about asexuality and aromanticism, but in the end, these are identities that aren't heteronormative and they will be hit with the same or similar bigotry as any other queer identity. I just get tired of this response after seeing it recycled for 10 years without ever seeming to go any further.

what abled ppl think is a massive problem for disabled folks: 13 year old on the internet faking something

what is actually a massive problem for disabled folks: "well you don't LOOK disabled, are you sure you're not faking? I'm not giving you accommodations until you PROVE you're not faking. Please give me, a stranger, your medical info and explain your condition to me in detail so I know you're not faking and only then will I respect or take you seriously"

made a meme because what do you mean i’m questioning my sexuality again even tho i’ve been secure in my identity for the past 10 years 😭