Writing Romance - Blog Posts

Tips for Writing Healthy Romantic Relationships

Don’t base them exclusively on physical and/or sexual attraction. While these kinds of attraction can certainly strengthen relationships, they can’t create anything but a weak foundation for a relationship on their own.

Know how your characters like to show and be shown affection. Not everyone shows their interest in others the same way. Some people like to give gifts. Others like to cuddle. Still others like giving compliments. Different people like to receive different kinds of affection as well. 

Remember that love at first sight is a myth. You can have lust at first sight and romantic interest at first sight, but true love takes time to develop.

Show the characters interacting and getting to know each other. This should be obvious, but it is all to common for a character to be given a love interest at the last minute or to be paired off with someone the reader hasn’t seen them interact with much. Remember, the reader doesn’t have to see every little thing they do together, but the relationship will feel forced to the reader if they don’t see the characters interacting and establishing that they genuinely care about each other in a significant way. If the reader views your character’s significant other as little more than a stranger, then you’re doing something wrong.

Have both characters do things for each other and contribute to the relationship in meaningful ways. Relationships are two way streets. While you don’t need to keep score of exactly who does what for who (Relationships are not a competitive sport!), the relationship should seem fairly balanced or, if it’s not, then the characters should be working to change that.

Don’t give your characters completely incompatible traits. While it’s healthy for people to differ from each other, there are some differences that even people that are otherwise perfect for each other probably can’t overcome. For example, a environmental activist would have a hard time having a healthy relationship with someone who wants to chop dow a forest. Basically, know your characters’ deal breakers so that you won’t try to match up characters who are simply incompatible with each other.

Have them share interests. This is a great way to add substance to relationships outside of physical attraction and compatible personalities. Maybe they both like fishing. Maybe they share a passion for baking. Whatever you decide to have them like, don’t be afraid to use your characters’ shared interests as opportunities for them to bond. Also, if your characters don’t share a lot of interests/hobbies, consider having one character introduce the other to their hobby or have one character take initiative to try something the other likes. This is a great way to show how much your characters care about each other because it demonstrates your characters’ genuine interest in what makes their partner happy. 

Let the relationship experience at least a few bumps in the road. No relationships are perfect. Let your characters disagree, argue, and maybe even have a full on fight. Relationships that withstand obstacles seem stronger to readers, especially if the characters grow as people because of these hardships. 

reaching that point in my fictional universe where my characters are getting older and things are starting to change within their dynamic/lives <<<<

they’re becoming *gasps loudly* adults with responsibilities😭😭😭

i’ve reached what i’m calling ‘the beginning of the end’ of this specific group dynamic in my universe aka the halfway point of my journey to writing book six and i’m kind of losing my mind??? i did not anticipate it being this hard???😭

dad just sarcastically told me he hopes i become a millionaire from my books because i’ve been working on them “forever” so i decided i have to now just to prove him wrong ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

over 103,000 words written and i’m still only about 60% through book 3…… that’s what i get for being a representative of the thicc book committee

it might also have something to do with the fact that i have nine main characters, tons of important side characters and plots, and lore that runs deeper than a rabbit hole but idk

just changed my already published book covers for a fourth time

ok i’m in desperate need of advice!!!

the window is currently open for character regression for one or two or my characters but idk if should do it or not???

the only reason i’m doubting is because i’m kind of scared to😭 but the opportunity is there and i do think it could be interesting for the plot moving forward.

esp for the two characters i have in mind. god it’s hard to explain without spoiling my story but how do we feel about character regression? should i just say eff it and go for it?

to paint a picture: it’d be one of those instances where a character has reverted back to their old ways because of a “straw that breaks the camels back” moment, but deep down inside, they still care, they’re just trying to cope with all the hurt they’re feeling.

me whenever i think of a new storyline/plot idea that hits like absolute crack:

help i’m inching closer and closer towards cementing a plot point that’s been planned for sometime now and i’m *dreading* officially writing it so badly omg😭

but as it is written… it shall be done😪 (i’m already sobbing profusely)

insane to think there was a time in my life where my characters didn’t reside in my head 24/7

just tried to outline future chapters and my brain nearly short circuited. my creative mind is not meant to be confined to the chains of bullet points and organization she simply isn’t

the concept of one of my characters being this super smart intuitive guy who can read a room/person with the snap of a finger, but couldn’t figure out the love of his life was keeping a scandalous secret from him is soooo😭

i love when i write out a scene idea (with plans to incorporate it into the storyline) and then i sit at my computer desk to do just that and my characters are just like:

“nah, we’ll take it from here tyvm.”

and i’m just like: oh ok! yes chef🫡

i can’t tell you how many “deleted scenes” i have in my notes app because my characters love to take the wheel from me🙄

just had a #writerscare thinking i astronomically fucked up a crucial part of a storyline in my book series…😁

one of the hardest parts of writing interconnected stories tbh lol the stress of everything having to perfectly align as to avoid even the tiniest plot hole is a lot

thankfully, i figured it out and saved myself from the impending meltdown!

that moment when everything just clicks in your writing or in a scene you’re putting together or an unexpected last minute idea pops into your mind that ends up fitting perfectly with what you wrote >>>>

the excitement that consumes my body is out of this world

does it take anyone else a good minute to get immersed into their fictional world before you can start writing for the day?

like i need to sit in front of my computer with nothing but tumbleweed passing in my brain for at least an hour before i can really lock in.

especially after a solid writing break. i need to re-read the most recent scene i’ve written at least ten times to bring myself back into the character’s mind and feelings

about a quarter through writing the first draft for the third book in my series!

it’s been my fav book to write so far because of all the storylines i have planned, but it’s also been the most complicated to write for the same reason😭

there’s just so much that has to happen — between the main storyline *and* the side plot that it’s literally making my brain feel like this: 🫠

it’s so fun yet so stressful at the same time but hey i love writing!!!!!!😁

being a romance writer has truly warped my perception of love and romance irl in a sense that i have *such* high standards and expectations of what i want in a relationship.

i want a love that sweeps me off my feet and nothing less! it’s too bad basic romance feels like some unattainable holy grail these days🫠

where are the men who yearn and court??? where are they????????!!!!!!!!!

on a more positive writing note — have any of you ever re-read something you wrote and think to yourself:

“okay, i lowkey ate that.”

i’ll be the first to admit i have😭 and that’s a great thing! i’m so used to downplaying myself with self deprecating humor that i’ve forgotten it’s ok to actually be proud of myself for something

thinking about the time when i re-read the first draft of the first piece of work i’d ever written for my characters (there are eight total main characters) and i completely forgot to include one of them in the first half of the story.

and just like that, his archetype was discovered.

he’s the person who’s often overlooked, leading him to feel a bit lonely and unimportant at times. the “forgotten friend” if you will.

and it’s so true because i really did forget he existed when i first created my characters omg😭 i swear i love him it was just an accident

anyone else have to remind themselves from time to time that they’re in charge of their characters and the plot line? meaning you can quite literally make them do *whatever* you want?

idk why i tend to forget that sometimes. i’ll often find myself pondering certain ideas i get and think to myself “hm, no. i couldn’t possibly do that.”

when i quite literally can???

like i just had the craziest storyline idea for three of my characters and thought to myself “no, i can’t do that. that’s too big of a game changer.”

the thing is, i could do it. and i probably will😭 god this is too much fun. i feel like a mad scientist who’s been given too much power

just accidentally stumbled upon so many prologue story ideas for the parents of my characters in the current book series i’m writing.

and it ties in so well UGH i’m gonna have a writing orga*m!!!!!

as discouraging as it can be writing to an audience of zero, i’m so locked in atp, idec anymore😭 delusion is my feul

i LOVE my characters and the little universe i created in my head sm, each of their books WILL be written and finished even if i’m the only one who knows of their existence!

i feel like i not only owe it to myself to see it through, but to my characters and their stories. they’re like my children, i can’t just abandon them because no one else is seeing their potential like i do?????

what kind of mother would that make me

just stared at my computer screen for 30 mins trying to think of a name for the fictional coffee shop in my characters’ universe