Find your tribe in a Sea of Creativity
i can't stop thinking about how the show portraits Roman's intimacy issues in a way that feels too close to home when it comes to SA and how it affects your relationship with sex and being intimate in the future. He can only link feelings of pleasure to shame, such as when him and Tabitha try to have sex in s2e5 (you can literally see it on his face that asking her to "play dead" is something that makes him ashamed, but it's the only way he can manage to do it. If there's an element of wrongness there) or the times where he gets turned on by Gerri degrading him and can only manage to feel pleasure from it.
I haven't finished the show yet but, from what I've seen online, I believe the writers will not expand or explore that. However, I still believe his fixation with "taboo sex" (from constantly joking about it to performing) plus the issues with actually doing it and some jokes here and there about being abused as a child, is not there merely for laughs or as a proof he's "a creep or a weirdo" (plus, it's canon that Roman often says stuff that actually happened with a joke tone, so people can't tell it's real)
...or I might be projecting, idk
(also, the whole thing with Logan putting Shiv's hand under his pants due to the "confusion" morphine caused him is weird af. More people should comment on that)
tw//CSA
same with me. talked about it with my therapist and she told me that its normal because its the way your brain protects you from the trauma you went through
for me, it feels foggy. like a mist is clouding over what happened. the memory, its still there, but it doesnt feel real. as if it was something my brain made up. but i know it wasnt. one of my earliest memories was of it happening to me and it continued on for years. but my brain chose to forget it and whatever i do remember of it is a foggy memory.
tbh im glad my brain chose to forget it. i dont know what kind of person id be if i did. when i was unpacking some of it with my therapist (i didnt like talking about it nor ever brought it up, we only spoke on it if she brought it up) and was going through the legal process to get my abuser charged, i was terrified of everyone and immediately became jumpy and screamed whenever my friends would spook me.
its probably why i even still now have terrible memory even now lmaooo
the SA comic really resonated with me.. i’ve experienced similar. do you feel sick when you look back on the experience, and/or has making such a comic helped you move forward? i hope this isn’t too weird to ask but thank you.... i’m sure lots more people felt seen after you told your story.
To be honest I don't feel much. It feels more like something that happened to someone else. Not one of my memories