Sean Bean - Blog Posts

Boromir + concern for the Hobbits

Review: Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Rating: 7.0 of 10

The truth is, Jupiter Ascending is not a bad movie. It's just a completely mediocre one, and honestly that's almost as bad--or even worse--than being plain bad.

A space opera straight from the hands and minds of the Wachowski siblings (from the legendary The Matrix, Cloud Atlas), Jupiter Ascending tells the story of Jupiter (Mila Kunis), a young house cleaner unhappy with her life. After being chased and prodded around by mysterious creatures, with the help of one ex-space military (Channing Tatum) she found out that she was the exact genetic copy of a galactic queen and was set to inherit the Earth. (It might worth mentioning that Tatum's character, Caine, was said to be half-dog and half-human. Take that as you will.)

One thing I could say about Jupiter Ascending is that the visual is very striking. If anything, the Wachowski are gifted with excellent eyes for uniquely breathtaking science-fictional images and technologies. There’s more creativity in the design of this single movie than a dozen blockbusters in recent years combined, but unfortunately they felt empty because there's no plot or soul to back it up. The clothes and spaceships were astonishingly beautiful, the planets magnificent, the flying boots were really, really cool, and the action were actually pretty exciting, but there's a large sense of "So what?" looming over the entire film.

The core of the movie was meant to be held up by the romance between Jupiter and Caine, and that's where the movie falters. Not only there were no chemistry between the two lead actors, the protagonist herself was completely unengaging with almost no agency, and it made that much harder to connect and emote. There's a world of ideas buried beneath the intricate visuals--I even quite liked the randomness of the plot as it introduces us to multiple characters, if only a little meandering--but I ended up caring for the characters as much as I care for a paperbag. Which makes it a shame, because Jupiter Ascending really do have a potential to be great.

TL;DR In the end, Jupiter Ascending is a very pretty movie without a purpose, with it's only saving grace is that it has a really, really cool title*.

*Yes, I really do love planet Jupiter.

Ok okok let me smash my keyboard for a minute

I always liked how Sean Bean played Boromir; even during my twee Legolas years I liked how he played Boromir. But now that I'm working through his filmography, I can easily say he ABSOLUTEY KILLED in Fellowship. As other people have pointed out, a majority of his roles can be broken down into "wolf man with sword" or "wolf man with gun," but so few of them include THIS^^^^^^^ This gut-wrenching remorse! The sorrowful weeping! The wretched vulnerability! Even in Sharpe, which arguably gives him the most space for character development, we get a few sniffles and tears and the fan-favorite Mouth Rub, but we don't get this, not even when [redacted] and [redacted] die. He doesn't break apart like this. A Sean Bean action hero is stoic, longsuffering, a little sneaky, occasionally snarky, sometimes wicked, but to me that makes the emotional depth he brought to Boromir ALL THAT MUCH MORE AMAZING. The role allowed for it and he TOOK IT.