Personal Writing - Blog Posts

Okay, so in light of recent events regarding the loss of my job. I've come to a decision. I'm going to start focusing on original content. Instead of just fanart.

Now, this doesn't mean I'm gonna stop fanart altogether. I still love drawing my favourite characters. And my fav franchises, but ultimately, I wanna self-publish my own comic book and maybe make a living of it.

I have two stories I'm working on.

One is called:

"Returning to our Roots," a cyberpunk furry story following Debbie, a goth albino rabbit girl, trying to survive an increasingly hostile world. She's trying to keep her friends and herself safe from a local string of dissappearances. But everything comes to a head when a secret of the world is revealed that will shatter what anyone; corpo, anthro, or human knew about all they hold dear.

The other:

"Purgatory has a queen." An origin and life story of my demonsona and their quest not to rule all of hell or raze hevean. But rather carving herself her own little demented paradise in the Void.

I'll try to keep everyone updated on the projects. When the first few pages for either are ready, I'll post them here. Eventually, I'll try to get a patreon or Ko-fi going so you guys can support. But for now. This is just the awareness post.

Also, P.S. @moociaoafterdark My friend, i'm sorry to @ u, but I don't know if you will see this otherwise. Only because I'm not putting Warhammer40k in the tags.

Daily reminder to myself that:

I don't need to write for anyone but myself.

My personal writing has no deadlines. I'm not falling behind anyone, because I'm not in competition.

There is nothing to prove.

Originality is not the end-all be-all. If someone else has explored the same idea as you before, that doesn't make my version any less valuable or meaningful.

I can write what I want.

There is no reason to hold back anything on the page. No reason for shame or hiding or preemptive self-judgement. I have no audience unless I choose to let them in.

The "quality" of my work does not determine my value as an artist or a person.

I don't need to write like anyone else

Not everyone will understand and that's okay.

IT DOESN"T NEED TO BE PERFECT

Or even "complete"

In fact, let go of the idea of perfection entirely.

Writing should be for joy, growth, and expression.

Sincere question to any other writers: what's some advice you have about not comparing yourself to other writers? I've kind of just written in my own bubble for most of my life and a lot of my work has never seen the light of day because I'm still in the phase of my journey where the idea of sharing my writing makes me incredibly anxious. Being on this site and seeing how many other people are writing such good stuff, especially in the same fandoms as me, makes that feeling worse. I guess I'm afraid of not being good enough, original enough, or creative enough to "keep up" with other people and make something worthwhile. And that makes me not want to write, and I hate that feeling. This is just something I really want to work on within myself, because it can be overwhelming, and is holding me back a lot.

Just a personal post, with a dash of Astarion because this is my life now

So I've gone my whole life denying myself writing fanfiction (despite being a writer since forever) because of the powerful internalized autistic fear of being "cringe". But after playing BG3 I just can't do it anymore. Astarion as a character just inspires me too much and I have so many scenes I want to write that in my mind, its criminal weren't included in the game. Honestly, once I gave myself that permission, I've written more this past month than I had in the past six months of my original story. It's been so fun and rewarding and has taught me a lot about what mental hang-ups I still have as a writer, even when it comes to work I know I'll never share. I'm basically just novelizing the story of my Tav and Astarion now, and it's so much fun. I'm sure a lot of my ideas have been done a million other times by other people, but this is my version, and I'm reminding myself that there's value in that. I'm still learning that it's okay to be self-indulgent and "cringe" sometimes. I just want to see the characters I love be happy and get the treatment they deserve, even if I have to write it myself. I'm being creative and it makes me happy, so maybe that's what matters? It's freaking me out now to even post this, but I'm really trying to learn how to express myself honestly again after so long masking and being so concerned with appeasing others. The fear of judgement or "doing something wrong" is hard to get over. Maybe someone else relates.