Find your tribe in a Sea of Creativity
No actually.
First of all, Joel. He cheated on his pregnant wife. That’s the first thing we learn about him. But that’s not why I dislike him. I have way bigger issues. We learn that Midge said no when he asked her out, and he didn’t accept this. He tells her that their song is “You Belong to Me” which is so creepy. He judges her drink choice, saying he’ll “fix it”. Amaretto sours are known for not having a lot of alcohol, so it’s kind of concerning that he’s judging her for something that doesn’t lower her inhibitions. He criticizes Midge for things that aren’t her fault (show sweater, him bombing). He introduces the kids to Penny without Midge’s permission, then gets mad at her when Benjamin surprises her at the park. The first thing Midge says is that she needs to clear it with Joel, but Joel doesn’t believe her and just yells at her and accusing her of leaving him. The audacity and double standards are unbelievable.
He lies to her about having no money and not owning their apartment.
He plans to move across the country, knowing that he won’t see the kids. He brings his very young children to live in a factory which he himself points out is full of dangerous, flammable chemicals and sharp, heavy machinery. He doesn’t want Ethan to see a therapist when he’s having sleeping problems. Everyone forgets about these events, which bothers me because everyone rags on Midge’s parenting but never Joel’s.
He never apologizes for what he did. After he and Midge sleep together in 1.8, he acknowledges that he didn’t apologize, but never actually does. Then he has the gall to say that he left because she was “a lot” and claim that he “never really left”.
What’s also concerning is that the minute after Midge puts her rings back on, she starts measuring herself. Part of this is definitely just the time period and definitely her mother’s influence, but it’s interesting how the two correlate.
Deep down, Joel is an insecure child who can’t let his partner be better than him. That’s why he has that fight with Mei about the liquor license. He says in season 3, that he knows he likes “conductors” but then gets upset when they act like conductors.
When he sees Midge perform for the first time, he throws a fit because Midge is good. She tries to work it out, but he just walks away, then refuses to get back together because he’s insecure. To be fair, I do absolutely understand his position here, I just don’t like how he left Midge in limbo about it. (She mentions that he won’t return her calls). Yet, he still tries to tell her where to live because he’s controlling.
Now, I like him considerably better in seasons 3 and 4. His Catskills characterization is actually really great. His support of Midge in court is actually really nice, and I like that he comes to her defense with the panty pose picture. His support of her career is actually really great and his relationship with Mei is really interesting and does a lot to make me like him.
Then we get to the Vegas episode. They wake up together and he feels guilty because of his relationship with Mei. To be fair, I don’t think that this is cheating because it’s clear they haven’t had the exclusivity discussion. I also understand why he is frustrated with the situation, however none of that is any excuse for how he treats Midge. Midge is joking about the situation, since there’s obviously nothing they can do about it now. He tries to slut shame her for “entertaining herself on the road”. Now, Midge isn’t doing that, but even if she was, that is her business. And he is no position to judge promiscuity after having flings with all of the factory models in season 2. Once again, the double standards are absolutely ridiculous.
I do wish he had told Midge about the money situation with Susie, and I blame both of their characters for keeping this serious issue hidden.
In season Season 4, I like him. I like that he wants to support Mei. This is really when I started to engage with Joel. He has great moments in season 2&3, but Season 4 has them on display more often.
Then…we get season 5. He blames Midge for Mei leaving and ending the pregnancy, something that I already analyzed earlier. He acts like he deserves a medal for being concerned that Midge is owned by the mob. He’s trading pictures of his ex-wife (specifically revealing ones where she looks younger. Ew). But the thing that bothers me most, is the set that he does at the beginning of 5.2.
He degrades her onstage, mocking her for not spending enough time on his jockey shorts. She was busy raising your children and cooking your brisket asshole. The worst part is, he does it for revenge. He says “turnabout is fair play”. Midge never talked about him for revenge. She did it because she was sad and embarrassed and needed a way to vent, because there’s not a whole lot of people in Midge’s life that actually listen to her.
All that said, I think Joel is really interesting. Michael Zegen does a great job portraying Joel with complexity and humanity, and people who send him hate mail are…rude to say the least.
However, the reason I hate Joel from a narrative standpoint, is because Midge is never able to truly get over him. He is not good for Midge, and deep down, he’s a selfish, spoiled brat who is only happy when everything is perfect for him.
Yes I’m a huge MidgexLenny fan, but I knew that wasn’t going to work. I wanted to see Midge happy yes, but not in such a reductive way. I wanted to see her stop her dependence on Joel, see her independent and thriving. That’s why Joel’s double standards bother me. He doesn’t want to be with her, but he also doesn’t want her to move on. He can move on, but she can’t.
Secondly, I hate what they did with Susie.
The gambling thing resurfacing made no sense to me. It was never even implied that she started gambling again after she lost all of Midge’s money in season 3.
I hate the fact that she went to Joel she never told Midge about it.
I hate the way she wasn’t the one to get Midge out from the mob and never told Midge about the situation. I don’t like the direction they went in with Nicky and Frank. I liked it better when they were actually supportive of another Rockaways kid. I’m not saying that they couldn’t have asked to get a taste, but they could’ve done it another way.
I hate that Susie couldn’t get through to Midge in season 4. Susie from seasons 1-2 would never have let Midge tank her career like this.
Once again, Alex Borstein is phenomenal as the character. My issues come from how the characters are being written.
I have a lot of issues with Midge in seasons 4-5. Like a lot of people, I am disappointed with the current trajectory of the show.
However, when I share my thoughts, whether they’re positive or negative, I am doing so because I have opinions that I want to share. I am not trying to diminish anyone else’s enjoyment, but rather engage critically with media I care about.
Season 5 Episode 6 spoilers below:
Gotta love how Joel went behind Midge’s back to solve the problem with the mobsters. He could’ve shown her the book or went back to her to raise his concerns again now that he had tangible proof. But no. It’s Joel, so he has to lie and go behind her back about stuff that pertains to her own life. This man has learned absolutely nothing.
Also hate that he’s trading pictures of her in prison. He specifically asks for the panty pose picture which is so gross. He got mad at someone for having it in S3 but whatever.
I almost rage-quit when Midge said she was still in love with Joel. I still hate her romance plots this season. Gordon is gross. The stalker guy is gross. Joel still sucks. The guy literally blamed Midge for Mei leaving and ending the pregnancy. Yeah Midge was probably still a little jealous since Joel was such a huge part of her life, but there’s a lot of concern for her children driving it as well. “I don’t want them calling you mom.” Is a line that especially has a lot of insecurity behind it.
I guess the rest of the episode was okay. Unsurprisingly, Alex Borstein was great, but I am totally on Midge’s side in regards to her fight with Susie. Susie should’ve told Midge the truth.
I almost cried at the ending.
I miss Lenny. But that’s why we have fanfic.
Also, I know it was a joke, but Midge says she and Susie had sex in Pensacola and refers to their fight as a “break-up”…so…I want to see that story.