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Mack - Blog Posts
Lightning McQueen: Moronic Feminist!
(At the Demolition Derby with Luigi, Guido, and Mack watch from the side in concern. They see Cruz stuck in the mud and Lightning nearby.)
Luigi: Oh shit! Lightning go get-a her out of the mud!
Lightning: I’m not doin’ it. That would be sexist
Luigi, Guido, and Mack: What!?
Lightning: This right here, this situation, this is the damsel in distress trope. And I am not about to contribute to it.
Mack: While I can agree that trope is horrible in this particular situation we need you to do this. She’s in danger.
Lightning: No. It'd be against my moral compass.
Luigi: Your fucking moral compass is a roulette wheel!
Cruz: (increasingly scared for her life) Lightning I know what you mean but this isn’t the time for that.
Lightning: I’m sorry Cruz I can’t do it.
Luigi: Look, she’s already in the situation. You just need to pull her out of it.
Mack: What if we pretend she’s just a crippled car.
Lightning: That’d be denying her sexual identity. Cruz, you do identify as female, right?
Cruz:(annoyed but getting worried over not being able to get out of the mud) Yeah and I understand. Sometimes in our culture things are ridiculous, but face it, situation is situation.
Lightning: I’m sorry. I can’t do it.
Guido: OOOOHHHHHH GOOODD!
Lightning: Think about it from my perspective! What do you see over there?
Luigi: YOUR TRAINER! AND SHE’S IN TROUBLE!
Lightning: Well I see a highly capable girl. Sure life’s beaten her down a little but that’s not gonna stop her. Nothing’s gonna stop her. She can become president of the world one day!
Luigi: NOT IF SHE’S SAWED IN HALF BY MISS FRITTER!
(20 minutes later Luigi, Guido, and Mack leave the two at the derby and back to the trailer)
Luigi: Okay, so we all agree. We’ll hide her body on the beach, if Lightning’s still alive we train somewhere else and never come back here again. We’ll-a tell Sterling we lost Cruz somehow. Good?
Guido: (Nods)
Mack: I like it!
I like it.
What is with that random kid? I’m calling it, he’s played by one of Owen Wilson’s sons, probably Robert Ford since he can most likely talk.
If I’m right about the kid’s voice being Owen’s son than... Aww.... adorable! Best daddy! Then again, his little sons will also be watching their dad get hurt very, very brutally and being very sad throughout their movie.
Jackson has such a smug, but chill look on his face that I kind of like. He is just flipping chill.
Oh and the masochistic demolition derby cars and Miss Fritter are there too. Gale is staring at her bumper.
Let’s see Smokey, Louise Nash, Mack, Luigi Guido, Mater, Red and my girl Sally. Yeah that’s everyone.
All aboard the friendship bus!
Don’t you two do anything.
Also OMG Mack! John Ratzenberger! YOU EXIST AGAIN!
Road trip squad animated!
Are we co-workers in every universe?
How stupid can one person be ?
We always have the news on at work, and the Christy Mack case seems to have gotten some attention. Girls, help me out on this one because I must be insane if no one agrees with me. Whoever that meathead jack wagon of a boyfriend was that nearly murdered her got himself a lawyer who's using her rape fantasy/kink as a way of basically saying she deserved being nearly murdered. That's bullshit, right? I'm not crazy for saying if a judge even considers that as a valid defense, he needs to get nearly shot to death if he ever wonders what it's like to be shot or be injected with AIDS if he ever wonders what it's like to have a nearly incurable disease, am I? Because having a rape fantasy or kink or whatever and nearly being beaten to death is as much an extreme leap as those in my last question. It doesn't fucking matter she was a porn star. It doesn't fucking matter if she still is a porn star. Last I checked, attempted murder and assault are still crimes. Or, have I totally lost my mind...? I know how lawyers play. I get their games. But, even for a lawyer, that's fucking low.