Latenightthoughts - Blog Posts

A gentle reminder of us

“I would’ve love you for the wrong reasons, and I would’ve love you more for the right reasons. But one thing is for sure, we will tear and break each other apart.”

You are always at the back of my mind. Like a flicker of light I can’t seem to fix.

Is this still a part of moving on or I’m still a fool for you

More willing to let go than hold your hand.

Had to give myself a chance to live without you

‪“I never really stopped. You know? Loving you. It’s just... I’m better off without you.”‬

If she ever asks when I stopped loving her

And suddenly you can’t run from it anymore. You face it not to just overcome it, you face it just to end a suffering.

I still don’t know what my “it” is

Let’s be honest

I am done not knowing where I should go or where I should be. I’m exhausted of thinking what I should do or what the future would bring. I’m admitting it tonight, that someone like me is as broken as a shattered glass. But I am also picking it up, little by little. Even if I had to touch every broken part of me. I am admitting that I cannot be repaired or be put together for now. And I think it’s okay. I may be hurting but I am also trying. Surviving. Breathing. I may not be living but at least I know what’s up and what’s not. Because I know, someday, if I might get clever or worse... get worse. But it’s still okay. I’m not hiding my broken parts anymore or denying every part of I am. They’re fragments of my life and they deserved to be acknowledged.

‪2017 thoughts written on December 1: It’s the kind of happy - or maybe maybe not happy. But just feeling. All feeling. The feeling where you feel relieved that you are in the moment. Alive and breathing and fighting.‬

2018 thoughts written on February 1: Breathe. Free trial of 2018 just ended. You’re gonna be in for a year of self love and drive yourself to be better.

How did 2017 break me though

It’s okay that I am alone. I am free and I get to own my freedom. I admit, it feels lonely sometimes. But, I get to know myself a little better and I get to grow on my own. This is an achievement for me, really. To know and focus my value without someone else’s help.

It came up to my mind when people around me talks about wanting to be in a relationship. I mean, we gotta love ourselves before we love someone else, right?

There’s something I have to write using my thoughts.

After all these years,

I still yearn for you.

And after all these years,

Hope you brought a part of me

Even at the end of our story.

Whole world out there, but still I want one with you in it

It was a moment between the day and night, In between lunch and dinner time, It comes when you least expect it. But you just had to know, You have to keep going ;

It may not have been a long conversation, but it was the first time I felt good talking about feelings I never shared before.

She understood me even in silence… and maybe that’s why I still think of her. 💭

Because sometimes, the truest feelings come from the fewest words. ✨

Sometimes, it's not the length of the moment — it's the depth of the feeling. 💫