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Kurt Hummel - Blog Posts
There’s Nothing Left To Do
A portion of my grilled cheesus au
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Kurt reveals the whole Glee Club Secret-by accident.
Kurt gets a little concussion, Mercedes and Finn stay by his side.
Too bad concussed!Kurt doesn’t have any filter.
At all.
Based on the scene in Grey’s Anatomy where Meredith is all high and talks to Mark.
Also this kinda just ends but I don’t care
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Headcanons for lil bby Kurt! (and Hummels) pt 1
In no particular order:
Kurt was an “oops” baby. He was certainly wanted, but not planned. The Hummels had to quickly move homes because they lived in a one bedroom house.
They were married a year (in their early twenties) when they found out Elizabeth was pregnant.
Elizabeth was a painter and tailor. She made money by doing commissions, like murals for the city or seaming wedding dresses.
It was also just Burt and Elizabeth (my headcanon name for his mom). Elizabeth’s parents didn’t like Burt because he was blue-collar, and Burt’s parents were old and gone by the time Kurt was 2.
He was also two weeks early. Burt was working in the mechanic shop to until he got the call. He had been working on the underside of a car, got the call, slid out so fast and was out the door in 3 minutes, the employees who still work for him tell Kurt that story all the time.
He was going to be a Burt Jr, but It was actually Burt’s idea for him to be Kurt, because their first date was to a screening of Sound of Music at a drive in. They decided to give him his mother’s middle name so he had a piece of each of them in his name.
In his baby/toddler years, Kurt was a very judgmental baby. It wasn’t that he hated everyone, but he preferred his parents. He was still very giggly though.
Kurt had a million interests as a child. He loved musicals and dance, but he also loved watching his dad work and would watch him work on cars with big eyes.
His favorite outfit as a toddler was a mini version of the Hummel Tires and Lube coveralls + a tutu. An interesting choice, but it made him happy.
Elizabeth would make her clothes in a way-she’d get pieces from shops, and then change them to how she wanted them. This is what inspired Kurt.
Kurt’s first job was working in the tire shop. Their favorite thing to do was to was when a jerk customer thought that Kurt didn’t know what he was talking about (or just being a jerk in general), one of the employees would come over to help, say “What do you need, Mr. Hummel?” and watch the customer’s cogs spin in his head until he figured it out.
Oh my god, yes. Imagine Finn being like “I’ll join Grindr with you bro” “we’ll find you a husband on there”.
SHUT UP!!!! THE WAY I SCREAMED AT THIS ADFKSJA
At a family dinner during a holiday like Thanksgiving (with Kurt, Finn, Carole, and Burt), Finn gets a notification from Grindr. Kurt’s head snaps up and is looking at Finn with wide eyes. He’s sure he was just hearing things until he hears it a second time. Kurt doesn’t know what to do because apparently his super straight brother isn’t as straight as Kurt thought he was.
Kurt pulls Finn aside after dinner and is like “You can tell me anything, I hope you know that. I’m your brother, I would never judge you for anything. I’m here to always support and love you.”
Finn doesn’t realize that he’s talking about the Grindr notifications and says something like “Bro please don’t tell Burt or mom about how I didn’t finish the mushrooms. I thought nobody would notice if I hid them underneath the napkin.”
Kurt is now even more confused and straight up says “So... I didn’t hear the Grindr sound coming from your phone.” Finn then says “Oh yeah, that was Grindr” and then walks away without expanding beyond that.
(continuation of this ask)
10 YEARS OF KURT & BLAINE ∟ Fandom Favourite Scenes (2/39)
kurt hummel in every episode of glee → 2x08
I just think it's iconic how kurt asked burt to give him sex ed like he would any straight son and literally the next episode we get lAlaLALAlAalaLa
War of the Foxes
It’s one of my favorite quotes. here: Someone has to leave first….
An AU of the Klaine break up, S5/S6
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Young Parisian corset maker Sylvain Nuffer began cutting, stitching and boning corsets for men four years ago and now sells 30-odd standard models a year at 500 to 600 euros (650 to 775 dollars) a shot, 40 percent more when made to measure.
“I felt frustrated by the lack of choice of clothing for men,” he told AFP. “I made one for myself and they kind of multiplied.”
Wearing jeans with a gray silk corset of his own making over a shirt and tie, Nuffer, who learnt the complex trade with his corsetiere mother, stands tall, waist nipped in, shoulders wide, back straight.
Corsets for men have a history, he said, worn by medieval horsemen to protect the spine, adopted by bikers today for the same reason.
But the real inspiration behind Nuffer’s corset - laced up the back with a clip-open busk at the front - dates back to the heady days of the 1789 French Revolution.
Male followers of utopian philosopher and economist, Count Claude Henri de Saint-Simon, at the time adopted the corset precisely because it was impossible to lace up alone. Having to help each other with the ties symbolised the humanitarian helping-other ideals of the Saint-Simonien movement.
Critics derided Nuffer’s early creations, however, saying a garment stiffened with a multitude of bones and stays would be uncomfortable.
Not so, said one adept, Laurent Renaud, who teaches at a fashion school and wears his everyday. “I wear it over a shirt or under a sweater,” he said. “I use it as daywear or to go out at night.”
“The problem,” he added, “is you get so used to it keeping you straight that it gets difficult to go without.”
(source)
📝
Silver?
“Why on earth would you paint yourself silver?” Finn whispered, standing in the doorway of the bathroom as Sam rubbed frantically at his face with a washcloth, silver face paint covering him from the top of his forehead and down to where his V-neck tee, a light grey, started. “Did you use permeant marker or something?”
“It won’t come off,” Sam cried, trying to stay quiet. The Humdel parents had been kind enough to let him stay for the school year, he didn’t want them knowing he’d snuck out for a midnight screening for a double-viewing of the Fantastic-Four movies. He also didn’t want Mr. Burt to see him covered in silver. He knew the man was very kind and accepting of pretty much anything, but he was sure the man didn’t appreciate his bathroom getting covered in silver paint. “Finn!” He whispered, a bit frantic. “Help me!”
“I don’t know what to do!” Finn cried back, stepping into the bathroom to look at Sam through the mirror. “Maybe we should wake up-”
“No.” Sam interrupted, his eyes wide with fear. “Waking up Kurt is the last resort.”
“Why?” Finn asked. “Kurt will know what to do to get the paint off.”
“You really think waking Kurt up-your brother, who bit you when you woke him up from a nap to ask him where the coffee grounds were-will appreciate being woken up to help me de-silverfy?” Sam shook his head, and groaned when another swipe at his face with the wash cloth barely removed anything. “No way.”
“Well,” Finn shrugged. “It’s either I go and wake up Kurt, or you are silver until he wakes up in the morning.”
Sam wiped again at his face. He looked in the mirror, and whimpered a bit: he’d been cleaning up for an hour, and he was still mostly silver. He still didn’t want to wake Kurt.
“I’ll just be silver forever,” Sam moaned.
“What are you two-Sam?” Kurt stepped into the bathroom doorway, drawing back in surprise when the pair whipped around to stare at the smaller teen. Kurt was gaping at him, eyebrows upturned as he took in the situation. Finally, after a few moments of awkward silence, Kurt deflated, shaking his head in obvious disappointment. “Sam,” he groaned, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “I told you not to paint yourself silver.”
“Ohhh,” Finn said, registering why Sam didn’t want to wake Kurt. “You didn’t want to wake him, because he told you this would happen.”
“Yes yes yes,” Sam looked to Kurt desperately. “You can lecture me in the morning. Please help me,” Sam begged. He clasped his hands-also silver-and made puppy-dog eyes at Kurt. Kurt, for his part, just looked at him through tired eyes, and sighed again.
“Fine,” he said. “Wait here. Finn, grab the extra washcloths from the cabinet so Sam doesn’t turn this whole bathroom silver.” Kurt strode out of the doorway, Finn tossing Sam a few new washcloths with his order. The pair waited a few minutes, Sam feeling so tired he wondered if it was just best to sleep in the bathroom and wait until morning to clean, just as Kurt reentered, holding a jar in one hand a glass of water in the other.
“Coconut oil,” Kurt told him, setting the jar on the counter and opening it up. “Put this on your skin, wet a washcloth, and it will come off. I suggest taking a shower after since you’ll feel very slick and gross, even if you won’t be silver anymore.”
“Thank you,” Sam replied, relieved. “What’s the water for?” Finn stood from his seat on the bathtub rim, leaving Sam to finally wash off his mistake.
“Me,” Kurt replied. “It’s why I was up.” Before he could stop him, though, Kurt raised his arm, and quickly took a photo, having hid his phone in his pajama pants pocket. “Thanks for not waking me up. Goodnight Sam, Finn.” With that, Kurt quickly, and somehow quietly, dashed back down the hall to his room, before Sam could grab at him.
“Night dude, Finn said with a laugh. “Have fun. See you in the morning.” Sam could only watch, still too silver for retaliation, as the taller teen left him alone. Groaning for what felt like the 100th time that night, Sam stared back at himself in the mirror.
He was never going to paint himself again.
Fantastic-Four be damned.
Send Me A Pen Emoji and a Word!
hold the flippety fuck up
kurtbastian good omens au???
I dont like you fun I dont like you either
we're not friends I dont even like you
FUCK
okay so I'm basing this completely off that
and obviously you would tweak the character points and storyline
kurt would be up in heaven quietly cursing gabriel under his breathe. when gabriel asks aziraphale to get in shape, he instead asks kurt to change the outfit to something less flashy and more appropriate for war
and seb would be sneaking around hell, trying to avoid hastur and ligur because last time they made fun of his popped collar and choice in sunglasses. he would also go round mucking up simple court cases and annoying the hell out of county councils
okay but like this could work
How did that get in there?
Okay man in the mirror I love and lot and all but I hate watching it. I can listen to it fine but when I watch it I just am forced to see every boy (except for Rory and Mike) even ones who joined after season 1 AND ARE JUNIORS get solos and front spots and Kurt is forgotten. Then glee tries to say he dedicated his final song in the club to the men. HA
“Something like that!”
“Cute!”
And also the cute disappointed look on Kurt’s face!! He’s wearing the sweater from the first time and he wanted his boyfriend to do body rolls for him
Kurt’s faces of “why am I friends with these people” “Blaine? Blaine don’t you-”
Why am I attracted exclusively to himbos?
YOU SMELL LIKE CRAIGSLIST
YOU SMELL LIKE CRAIGSLIST
YOU SMELL LIKE CRAIGSLIST
YOU SMELL LIKE CRAIGSLIST
YOU SMELL LIKE CRAIGSLIST
YOU SMELL LIKE CRAIGSLIST
YOU SMELL LIKE CRAIGSLIST
YOU SMELL LIKE CRAIGSLIST
YOU SMELL LIKE CRAIGSLIST
Okay but does anyone else think about the fact that Kurt’s so “woefully thin on extracurriculars” because of all the bullying and cry themselves to sleep
Aghjkllgsrudaaa
The way they smile in this scene!! It’s so in love and adorable and oooop here we go
ITS NOT UNUSUAL—
AHH it’s Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead time!!!!
Lima bean scene Lima Bean Scene LIMA BEAN SCENE
I just want Rivals and Lovers Klaine is that too much to ask?
Kurt and Blaine breaking up was absolutely necessary for them to realize what they actually wanted in partners and for Kurt to finally sit down and process everything they had been through
strongly agree | agree | slightly agree | neutral | slightly disagree | disagree | strongly disagree
send me your controversial glee opinions
Is Brittany S. Pierce a Klaine shipper?
I have a very elaborate personal headcanon about this…we know from the wedding episode that Brittany apparently looked up to Klaine during high school and felt like they were inspirational for her.
Now, one might say that this makes no sense. Brittany was encouraging Santana to come out way before Kurt and Blaine got together. But here’s what I think. She didn’t find Klaine inspirational, she found Kurt inspirational. Kurt was the first out gay kid at McKinley and paved the way for Santana to be accepted. And so all she wants is for Kurt to be happy, and since Kurt truly wants to be with Blaine, she tries to make that happen.
When Brittany heard Dave and Blaine were moving in together, she knew that it that news would hurt Kurt, so she went out of her way to decorate the room in the most garish way possible to show Blaine and Dave what a farce their relationship was and further the cracks in a more subtle way.
So, she tells Kurt that he needs to move on, because she cares about him and doesn’t want him to spend his time being depressed and moping around over Blaine, but at the same time she is actively working to sabotage Blainofsky’s relationship so that they can eventually get back together.
Sue says in the wedding episode that “we” - not I, we - “have conspired to deceive and manipulate and, yes, imprison you briefly.”
Now, I took that as further evidence that she and Brittany were working together to bring the two of them back together. Sue did it in a more outright way, with the bear cub and the elevator, but Brittany was a little more sneaky about it.
We know that Sue locked Kurt and Blaine in the elevator for 24 hours. However, for most of those hours, Sue was in the auditorium for the Invitationals competition. So who was controlling the Sue puppet? My theory - it was Brittany.
I also headcanon that Brittany was the one who manipulated the dating app to have Kurt match with an old man, so that Kurt didn’t end up in some other relationship that would be harder to break up once she got Blaine to fall in love with Kurt again. We know she’s good at math and coding, so it is entirely in the realm of possibility that she would be able to control the dating app in order to accomplish that.
In conclusion, Brittany is a genius, loves Kurt, and will do anything to make him happy. And if that means partnering up with Sue to get Klaine back together, than so be it.
And yes, I have spent far too much of my time thinking about this. Sue me (no pun intended).
Kurt?
Hi! I did Kurt in a post earlier but I’m proud of this one so here it is again!
Kurt’s mom was absolutely Aphrodite. He doesn’t have charmspeak but he definitely has some of the natural beauty of Aphrodite kids. His “powers” also somewhat come from Aphrodite’s origin as a war goddess. Really all he can do is leave a battle/sing-off without a hair out of place. Sometimes he gets upset at how useless his powers feel compared to others, but he still loves his mom and he and Burt always knew who she was.
And I’ll add more on because yes. Most of the kids in the Aphrodite cabin never bullied him for being gay because they understand that love is love, but a lot of them were very petty about the fact that he was competition. When they were younger teens they probably helped some of the bullies break into his stuff. On a happier side of things the perfume thing is still a thing in this universe. And it was a gift from Aphrodite. It’s infused with mist so Kurt could use the perfume to stay with his father longer before going to CHB and so he can go back during the school year. The monster attacks aren’t great for his heart but he joined a support group for parents of demigods and that’s where he met Carole!
Kurt, Blaine, & Mercedes for your ask thing! If you don't mind doing so many at a time lol
Not at all! I’m excited to answer! Okay so...
Kurt’s mom was absolutely Aphrodite. He doesn’t have charmspeak but he definitely has some of the natural beauty of Aphrodite kids. His “powers” also somewhat come from Aphrodite’s origin as a war goddess. Really all he can do is leave a battle/sing-off without a hair out of place. Sometimes he gets upset at how useless his powers feel compared to others, but he still loves his mom and he and Burt always knew who she was.
Blaine’s father is Apollo. He’s just a child of sunshine and that’s literally Apollo’s shtick. He got his musical ability from Apollo and a very small level of healing powers. Blaines got a little bit of bitterness for how Apollo left his mother to fend for herself after ditching them but he doesn’t really hold grudges all that well.
Mercedes I also said was a child of Aphrodite. I think she has the absolute smallest level of charmspeak and it only comes out when she’s extremely passionate (typically when singing). She definitely struggled with her place among her siblings. It took a while for her to see herself as as beautiful and powerful as the rest of them. Because some of her siblings are mean, but Aphrodite definitely at one point told her how beautiful she is. Because Mercedes is the real goddess here tbh
“And they live happily ever after”
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