Find your tribe in a Sea of Creativity
How to cheat at the Hogwarts sorting quiz!
I don’t know if this been done before but oh well:
Want to be a Gryffindor but you keep getting Hufflepuff? Or maybe you feel like a Ravenclaw but you get Slytherin? Here is how to get the house you want! This is not really cheating, considering which questions you got; also timing but this gives you at least chance to get the house you want.
I’m going to do this house for house; with each question and what percentage you get. Hope this doesn’t get confusing.
Let’s go!
Let’s start with Ravenclaw:
1. Dawn 50%
2. Forest 50%
3. Moon 50%
4. Ignorant 57%
5. Think with admiration of your achievements 63%
6. The Wise (obviously) 67%
7. Wisdom (duh) 70%
8. Fresh parchment 73%
9. The foaming, frothing, silvering liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds. 75%
10. The piano 77%
11. The silver leafed tree bearing golden apples 79%
12. The ornate golden casket. 80%
13. Mysterious handwritten book; perfected cure then student records. 81%
14. Hunger or being ignored 78%
15. Imitated 79%
16. The power to change you appearance at will. 78%
17. Transfiguration or every area of magic I can. 79%
18. Goblins 78%
19. Attempt to confuse the troll 79%
20. Tell Professor Flitwick the truth. 80%
21. Ask what makes them think so? 81%
22. Standing on top of something very high 81%
23. The cobbled street lined with ancient buildings 82%
24. Withdraw into the shadows to await developments... 83%
25. Tawny; screech; brown or barn owl. 83%
26. White 81%
27. Heads 79%
28. Left 77%
That is the most Ravenclaw answers.
Now it’s Slytherin!
1. Dusk 50%
2. River 50%
3. Moon 50%
4. Ordinary 57%
5. I don’t care what people think of me after I’m dead. 63%
6. The Great (obviously) 67%
7. Power (duh) 70%
8. The sea 73%
9. The mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink, and gives off fumes that make you see strange visions 75%
10. The violin 77%
11. The bubbling pool, in the depths of which something luminous is swirling. 79%
12. The gleaming jet black box 80%
13. Student records, mysterious handwritten book then nearly perfected cure 81%
14. Cold, boredom or being ignored 78%
15. Feared 79%
16. The power to change the past 78%
17. Hexes and jinxes 79%
18. Vampires 80%
19. Suggest that all three of you fight 81%
20. You would not wait to be asked to tell Professor Flitwick the truth. 82%
21. Agree, and ask whether they’d like a free sample of a jinx? 82%
22. Being forced to speak in silly voice. 83%
23. The narrow, dark, lantern-lit alley 84%
24. Draw your wand and stand your ground 84%
25. Siamese, ginger, black or white cat. 84%
26. Black 82%
27. Tails 80%
28. Left 78%
And that is Slytherin!
On to Hufflepuff!
1. Dusk 50%
2. River 50%
3. Stars 50%
4. Selfish 57%
5. Miss you, but smile 63%
6. The Good (obviously) 67%
7. Love (duh) 70%
8. Home 73%
9. The smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums. 75%
10. The trumpet 77%
11. The fat red toadstools that appear to be talking to each other. 79%
12. The small tortoiseshell box 80%
13. Student records; perfected cure then mysterious handwritten book. 81%
14. Hunger cold or loneliness 78%
15. Liked 79%
16. The power of superhuman strength 78%
17. All about magical creatures. 79%
18. Merpeople, werewolves and trolls 77%
19. Suggest drawing lots 78%
20. Lie and say you don’t know. 78%
21. Tell them that you are worried about their mental health, and offer to call a doctor. 79%
22. Waking up to find that neither your friends nor your family have any idea who you are. 80%
23. The wide, sunny, grassy lane 81%
24. Proceed with caution... 81%
25. Common, Natterjack or Harlequin toad 81%
26. White 79%
27. Heads 78%
28. Right 76%
And those are the Hufflepuff answers
Last but not least Gryffindor!
1. Dawn 50%
2. Forest 50%
3. Stars 50%
4. Cowardly 57%
5. Ask for more stories about your adventures 63%
6. The Bold (obviously) 67%
7. Glory (duh) 70%
8. A crackling log fire 73%
9. The golden liquid so bright that it hurts the eye, and which makes sunspots dance all around the room. 75%
10. The drum 77%
11. The statue of an old wizard with a strangely twinkling eye. 79%
12. The small pewter box 80%
13. First nearly perfected cure, mysterious book and then student records. 81%
14. Loneliness and boredom 78%
15. Praised 77%
16. The power of invisibility 76%
17. Secrets about the castle. 77%
18. Centaurs, werewolves and ghosts 75%
19. Volunteer to fight? 76%
20. Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate. 77%
21. Agree and walk away, leaving them to wonder whether you are bluffing 78%
22. An eye at the keyhole of the dark, windowless room in which you are locked. 79%
23. The twisting, leaf-strewn path through woods 79%
24. Draw your wand and try to discover the source of the noise? 80%
25. Tabby cat or dragon toad 79%
26. Black 77%
27. Tails 76%
28. Right 74%
And that is Gryffindor!
There is the most like answers for whatever house! Hope this information is useful of interesting.
Okay scroll on.
House shenanigans
Hufflepuff: holding a large box What would you say if I came home with four puppies?
Ravenclaw: lowers book slowly
Ravenclaw: Hufflepuff, What’s in the box?
Hufflepuff:
Hufflepuff: I think you already know.
House shenanigans
Gryffindor: unbuttoning shirt God it’s so hot in here!
Hufflepuff: Yeah...But, why are you unbuttoning my shirt?
House Vines
Hufflepuff performing stand up comedy
Hufflepuff: So, I’ve got a drinking problem.
Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw: light chuckles
Hufflepuff: I’m not old enough to drink, that’s the problem.
Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw: all whooping and cheering
House Vines
Ravenclaw: If you got 5 apples, and you give 3 away. How many do you have left?
Hufflepuff: 5?
Ravenclaw: deep inhale
Ravenclaw: IF YoU gOt 5 ApPLeS aNd YoU GiVe-
House shenanigans
Slytherin: pulls out a knife
Hufflepuff: oh no.
Slytherin: uses knife to open cardboard box
Hufflepuff: phew.
Slytherin: pulls out gun from cardboard box
Hufflepuff: oH nO.
House shenanigans
Hufflepuff: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I would just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Slytherin:
Gryffindor:
Ravenclaw:
Gryffindor: I’m gonna to tell them.
Literally everybody: DON’T YOU DARE!!
What’s heavier?
Gryffindor: Got a question for you. What’s heavier? A kilogram of steel? Or a kilogram of feathers?
Time ticks
Gryffindor: That’s right. It’s a kilogram of steel. Because steel is heavier than feathers.
Gryffindor’s Show!
Gryffindor: What do you mean?
Slytherin: They’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor: But steel is heavier than feathers...
Slytherin: Heh. I know, but they’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor:...Wha?
Gryffindor’s Show!
A scale holding both a kilogram of feathers and steel stands before gryffindor. The scale is balanced.
Gryffindor: That doesn’t prove anything, because steel is heavier than feathers.
Hufflepuff: I know, but look. They’re both a kilogram. Right? So they’re the same.
Gryffindor: Ok, but look at the size of this. *points to the huge bag of feathers* That’s cheating!
Slytherin: *laughs* No, they’re the same weight!
Hufflepuff: *also laughing* it’s a kilogram!
Gryffindor: But steels heavier than feathers...
Gryffindor’s Show!
Ravenclaw examining the scale.
Ravenclaw: They’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor: Oh no...oh, no, you, ah...no...
Hufflepuff: You alright?
Gryffindor: *sadly* I don’t get it.
Slytherin: Sorry...
Ravenclaw: Yeah...Don’t worry about it!
House Vines
Muggle Hufflepuff: *sitting in car in front of a Wendys with Gryfindor, who is recording Hufflepuff* Is Wendy working today? *faces the camera smiling*
Muggle Gryfindor: Bruh, you didn’t roll your window down.
Muggle Hufflepuff: Wha?
Muggle Hufflepuff: Is Wendy working today? *once again faces Gryfindor’s camera smiling*
Muggle Gryfindor: I think they’re closed.
Muggle Hufflepuff: Yeah me too.
Muggle Hufflepuff: Hey, is Wendy working today?
Muggle Gryfindor: Dude I think we’re at Taco Bell-
Muggle Hufflepuff: *tears in eyes* WhAt hOw!?
House Vines
Ravenclaw: *bursts through Hufflepuff’s common room door* WhY arEn’t tHe DiSHes iN AlPhaBeTiCal OrDeR!?
Hufflepuff: *sitting up from couch* What does that even mean?
House Vines
Gryfindor: *checking under Hufflepuff’s bed* No monsters under your bed.
Hufflepuff: I know...They’re behind you now.
Gryfindor:
Hufflepuff:
Gryfindor: What?
House Vines
Hufflepuff: What do we want?
Gryfindor: Weed!
Hufflepuff: When do we want it?
Gryfindor: Weed!
Hufflepuff: I already said that.
Gryfindor: What do we want?
Hufflepuff: Weed!-I’m confused.
House Vines
Hufflepuff: I spilt lipstick in your Valentino bag.
Slytherin: Oh! You spill-WaWAwAWa-LIPSTICK In mY VaLeNtInO WHITE bAg!!
House Vines
Slytherin: *to literally everybody else* ThE BaGs uNdEr My eYeS ArE PRADA.
Slytherin: *Laughs menacingly*
Gryfindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff:...
Slytherin: Kill your family.
House Vines
Gryfindor: What did you get in your happy meal?
Hufflepuff: Chapstick, what’d you get?
Gryfindor: A new SKATEBOARD!
Hufflepuff: Wha-
Gryfindor: *while skating away* LATER PUSSY!
House Vines
Slytherin: *holding a crayon*
Hufflepuff: SLYTHERIN! Is THat A WeED!?
Slytherin: No, this is a crayon-
Hufflepuff: IM CalLiNg ThE POliCe!! *dials 911 in a microwave*
Slytherin: *rolls eyes*
911: 911 what’s your emergency?
X files theme
House Vines
Slytherin: You can’t sit with us.
Hufflepuff: actually Slytherin I can’t sit anywhere. I have-
Hufflepuff: *turns to face the camera that only hufflepuff can see* Hemroids!
House Vines
Hufflepuff: You have a beautiful smile.
Ravenclaw: Thank you...You’re not that handsome.
Hufflepuff: Wow.
Hufflepuff: Thanks!
House Vines
Gryffindor: *plays flute*
Hufflepuff: Look! It’s a snake charmer!
Gryffindor: Ey yo snake!
Slytherin: *pauses and whips around*
Gryffindor: You cute as hell.
Slytherin: *blushes* Ssssstop.
House Vines
Hufflepuff: Well I wanna see a manager.
Ravenclaw: Well, I am the manager and uh-I can’t give you the display bagel; it’s not real.
Hufflepuff: Test It.
Ravenclaw: No.
House Vines
Gryffindor: *holding a “Yuleball?” Sign*
Hufflepuff: Oh! Oh my god! Yes!
Gryffindor: N-no! Tell Ravenclaw!
Hufflepuff: Okay. *whips around to where raven claw is sitting*
Hufflepuff: Ravenclaw! I’m going to the Yuleball with your boyfriend Gryffindor!
House Vines
Hufflepuff: I eat Cheerios because they’re heart healthy...and my heart is severely damaged.
Hufflepuff:...
Hufflepuff: So Slytherin if you’re out there-
House Vines
Hufflepuff: *peace sign* What’s up guys? Just wanted to give you an update.
Hufflepuff: Ummm...My worms are back.
Hufflepuff:
Hufflepuff: Yikes!
House Vines
Ravenclaw: *holds up hermonica* You play it, you get 100 million dollars, but a 100 million people will die.
Slytherin: *plays hermonica aggressively*
Hufflepuff: Slytherin No!
House Vines
Muggle born Gryffindor: My mom said if I don’t get my grades up, she’s not gonna let me get my tetanus shot next year.
Hufflepuff: That’s weird..what are you gonna do?
Muggle born Gryffindor: Fucking study I guess.
House vines
Hufflepuff: Hey, can everybody leave the kitchen while I get my fourth pudding cup?
Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor:...
Hufflepuff: *a little quieter* I just don’t want you guys to know I’ve...had four pudding cups...
House Shenanigans
*Gryffindor sitting on the opposite side of the desk from Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff*
Ravenclaw: *reading Gryffindor’s resume* Says here you’re proficient at fighting ghost?
Gryffindor: *feet kicked up. Arms behind head* Yeah.
Slytherin: *looking over Ravenclaw’s shoulder* But...*looking up* This place isn’t haunted.
Gryffindor: *finger guns* You’re welcome.
Ravenclaw and Slytherin: *looks directly at the camera like Ben from Parks and rec*
Hufflepuff: Holy shit!
Based off of your mphfpc dr , what do you think everyone’s Hogwarts house would be?
Eeek!!! I love this question! Thank you for asking :D
Miss Peregrine - most definitely a Ravenclaw (most ymbrynes are, or Hufflepuff)
Bentham - Ravenclaw
Caul - Slytherin
Jacob - Gryffindor
Ricky - Slytherin
Noor - Gryffindor
Lilly - Hufflepuff
Millard - Ravenclaw
Emma - Gryffindor
Enoch - Slytherin
Horace - Ravenclaw
Claire - Hufflepuff
Olive - Hufflepuff
Bronwyn - Hufflepuff
Sharon - Slytherin
Addison - Ravenclaw
Eleanor (myself) - Hufflepuff
These are the main people who came to mind but if you have any specific people you would want to know I'd be happy to answer!
so I wanted to make a little thingy
It probably started when someone was flirting with Barty and he wanted to get away and went: “shit I got to.. go see” *tries to think of something, mind goes to James* “my boyfriend!” (??). Then he keeps it going for shits and giggles, and then he panics when ppl ask him about it cause he doesn’t know why he thought of James out of everyone
———————————
A Ravenclaw: *flirting with Barty* so crouch.. I heard a little rumour that you fancy people with brains..
Barty: [who would rather be anywhere but there]
Barry: uhhh.. yeah I do, did you know Gryffindors are quite smart too? Like uhhh.. James Potter, for example, like his my boyfriend yk? and all-
Ravenclaw: ..what?
Ravenclaw: Oh. That’s cool I just thought- ykw nvm.
Barty: yeah you didn’t know that? We’re dating
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Hufflepuff: so Barty..
Hufflepuff: [flutters eyelashes, smirks and puts hand on Barry’s thigh]
Hufflepuff: what do you do even Quidditch is on? Do you go back to your dorm.. because I could tag along..
Barty: no, I don’t. I actually uh, I normally go hang out with my.. boyfriend, James Potter. Yk the one who your team lost to? The captain and prefect? The one-
Hufflepuff: .. I’ll go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Doesn’t even make sense cause James would either be playing or watching all the games, but Barty wasn’t thinking)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marlene: Barty!
Barty: what?
Marlene: what is it I’m hearing ‘bout you and Jamie?
Barty: ..
Barty: uhh, where’d you hear that?
Marlene: I was near some Hufflepuffs and heard a mention of it
Barty: why you snooping near Hufflepuffs?
Marlene: don’t change the subject. What’s the deal?
Barty: I needed an excuse to get away from ppl so yk.. I used him as an excuse
Marlene: why James tho? Wouldn’t Evan be more useful, cause you see him daily
Barty: .. James was just the first person I thought of
Marlene: ..
Barty: I guess
Marlene: ..alright then-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dorcas: Barty.. why?
Barty: ‘why’ what? I didn’t even do anything!
Dorcas: Oh, so running around saying your dating, Potter? Is nothing?
Barty: you heard that did ya?
Dorcas: of course I did, I hear everything. May as well call me “Rita fucking Skeeter”
Barty: okay I did! People were annoying me and I just said “My boyfriend needed me” and just threw Potter’s name in there so people would shut up and leave me alone!
Barty: god do people ever stop and leave me alone? Stop asking me about it god!
Dorcas: ..
Dorcas: okay.. my bad then
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~