Hammari Is A Child Asking Anyone If She’s Good - Blog Posts

ok the sailor song by autoheart as a hammari song. I kind of see it as her from the afterlife looking back on what she’s done. “I was your sailor, your demon, your lover your overbearing best friend hoping for some attention” she was! sayna and kian and laira and tai all loved her but she was their monster. she mutilated sayna drove tai to suicide dragged kian down with her and laira fled in the aftermath. and she did it because she wanted to be good. “and I lost every ounce of myself” she took the child she was and killed her with her own bloody hands she slit that girl’s throat and built her legacy on her corpse. it’s kind of a response to strangers like I tried to be good am I no good am I no good. and the answer is no. you failed. you aren’t even good. you never could be. she’s coughing up blood asking if she’s good it’s 'if i gave up on being pretty i wouldn't know how to be alive i should move to a brand new city and teach myself how to die' it’s all for nothing it’s all to end a war that years later historians say she didn’t even stop. she was driven mad under the weight of her sins she heard screams every waking moment she’d wander the palace in her nightgown and scream and tear at the walls she begged for help from her friends who were long gone. I never really had it in me, did I? did I? no I never really had it in me, did I? it’s frantic she’s clawing her way through the story through the ink and paper she wants someone to prove her wrong but she doesn’t have anyone. she never really had it in her did she?

WHAT THE FUCK