@tree-ag - Blog Posts

Song mishaps chapter 2

Washing Machine Heart by Mitski

“Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart Baby, bang it up inside,” Lloyd felt like a useless child, Kim had to go through so much worse and here Lloyd was broken up over nothing. It was pathetic.

They had both been hurt and abandoned, but Kim had still been able to make something of himself. What had Lloyd done the second Kim disappeared ? He drank himself to death.

Sucho Sucho Sucho, with out him what was the point to life at all? At least his death had brought them back together.

Kim wasn’t a good person, Lloyd would be naive to think otherwise. No one does something for free. Kim was willing, able and had used everyone that had used him right back to his advantage.

It still hurt.

—- —- —-

A Baron, baroness, knight and student were huddled under the stair way. They weren’t spying. They weren’t! They just figured maybe if they stayed to talk a bit longer….and well it’s not like Javier had to sleep anway.

The baron hushed the families conversation in order to hear lloyd. He hadn’t … gotten around to talking to hi son yet.. Arcos didn’t even know where to start.

Lloyd’s voice carried out to them, “Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart

Baby, bang it up inside.”

They weren’t quite sure as to what a “washing machine” was. More than likely Lloyds new invention, understandably it probably will wash clothes. So why was Lloyd comparing his heart of all things to it.

Bang bang it up inside? Was Lloyd hurt ?

Javier’s teeth clenched, was Lloyd telling someone to hurt him? This stupid bastard.

—- —- —-

“I'm not wearing my usual lipstick

I thought maybe we would kiss tonight”

Kim laughed as Lloyd twirled, hair flouncing about. When’s the last time anyone kissed them? Kim should fix that.

—— —— —-

“I'm not wearing my usual lipstick

I thought maybe we would kiss tonight”

Javier “gently” but quietly placed his hands on to a nearby table. He was going crazy. First he was unable to find any man named Kim and now this. Kiss? Lloyd kissing some unknown man?! Never! As his knight it was Javier’s duty to keep Lloyd safe from any unsavory characters and if this song was any indication… Lloyd was willing to be hurt in exchange for love.

Or maybe already had been? Biting into his lower lip Javier racked his brain for clues. He read poetry, loved it even but he’d never heard any songs like Lloyd’s before.

Wait a fucking minute, lipstick??!?!

—- —- ——

“Baby will you kiss me already and” Kim felt giddy in a sad sort of way. He wanted to scoop Lloyd up and take care of him. Them. They were technically the same soul. Huh, does this count as self love? He surly doesn’t feel like he loves himself. He doesn’t particularly even like himself. Or was Kim just inherently selfish?

Kim had “meet” Lloyd early in life, his imaginary friend. His first friend, his first everything. The last good thing he had when his life was falling apart and he had picked up that damn book.

—- —- —-

“Baby will you kiss me already and…”

Arcos watched Javier’s face turn a bright pink as wood cracked. Well at least him and the family were in agreement they may have made mistakes but no one was going to get away with breaking his kids heart!

—— —- —-

“Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart

Baby, bang it up inside”

“Baby, though I've closed my eyes”

The barons family sighed as the heard Lloyd’s scratchy sweet voice grow tired. Arcos sighed they were definitely going to need at family meeting after this. Why did Lloyd never say he enjoyed singing? Inventing? Architecture?

Did he even know his own son at all?

—- —- —-

“I know who you pretend I am”

“I know who you pretend I am” Lloyd’s voice cracked, to be fair he’d never sang much before. Not in this body- his own body. Kims was always better for that sort of thing.

It stung, he drank and his family did nothing, he yelled and screamed and hurt and they assumed he was a brat instead of asking of listening. He died, he died and put Kim in the front seat. And they. Didn’t. Notice. Kim wasn’t even trying.

His mouth met the taste of salt as he sang on.

—- —- —-

“I know who you pretend I am”

“I know who you pretend I am”

Juliens lips pursed, he felt targeted despite this obviously being a love song. It would be lying if he said he had never pictured Javier as his older brother instead. They all had. That he hadn’t wished for it that he had never said it out loud. That he had never pretended Lloyd wasn’t his brother at all and thrown it in his face.

Gods he had thrown it in Lloyd’s face.

Julien waved off the guilt, this wasn’t about him. This was about someone who had played white his brothers heart. And he would never forgive them for it.

—- —- —-

“Do mi ti Why not me?”

“Why not me? Do mi ti”

“Why not me? Why not me? Do mi ti” Lloyd grit his teeth, why not me? What did I ever do that was so wrong? He knew he wasn’t what anyone in the estate wanted but he wasn’t horrible. He stayed out of everyone’s way. So why. Why not him? Why didn’t they care about him like… he knows he knows his parents love him. But never the way they do about Javier, Julien. Not like how they love Kim.

—- —- —-

“Do mi ti Why not me?”

“Why not me? Do mi ti”

“Why not me? Why not me?”

Julien sucked in a breath okay so maybe this song was impart about him. Them. Impart about them. All of them really.

Javier felt his head spin, why not him? Because he’s awful, stilling Javier stopped himself from immediately eye rolling. And why was that? Why was his first thought to disregard Lloyd’s feelings sure he had been a jerk in the past but …

But that’s not true something in his contours whispered. Was he really that bad a useless drunk sure but he never went out of his way to be cruel. Except to him, and that was only when they were kids. After the sword incident Lloyd had backed off and stuck to ignoring him. Ignoring everyone.

Javier had originally thought of it as pompous arrogance and him being a right brat but maybe it was something else all along?

—- —- —-

“Ppff hahaha Sorry sorry I don’t know what wrong with me,” Lloyd said as he wiped his tears away. Gods they hated crying. Gross

The family below felt a jagged stone hit their hearts.

Marabella wanted to run into Lloyd’s room and and… she was stuck to the ground as that same stone weighed her down. Nobody is perfect and Lloyd has his issues. Before and after his stint drinking but for Lloyd to think there was something wrong with him ??

She looked towards her husband and ended up focusing to the window behind him. New flowers and stone walkways. Out further to everything her son had built. Is this it? Is this why Lloyd’s been working himself to death, because he thinks he needs to in order to prove himself.

Her son, oh her son. He was crying, she can remember the last time he had well and truly loudly cried. He was ten they were going to have a picnic outside and garden. Javier tagged along with her and had sat in Lloyd’s usual seat, she remembers him making a huge fuss out of point at Javier and yelling until she scolded him. He stopped. He stopped sniffled and ran of crying without looking back.

He had stopped joining her for tea after that.

Julien caught his mothers shoulder as she doubles over to cry into her hands.

What? What happened?