Andorians - Blog Posts

It’s fun to think that yes, even though the federation has been formed and everyone’s allies now, the Andorians, Vulcans and Tellarites all still fight about a lot of things and get into a bunch of disputes with each other and because these arguments happen so often they basically have a rule that anytime it looks like there’s going to be another all-out war they call the humans.

“The Vulcans-“ Call the humans.

“But the Andor-“ Call. The. Humans.

“Tella-“ CALL. THE. HUMANS.

They literally solved hundred-year-old issues by doing the military version of slapping a friendship bracelet on everyone and telling them to play nice with each other and somehow it WORKED. Pick up the damn padd and call the humans.

It’s so funny re-watching some episodes of enterprise because while Archers trying to form an alliance and prevent a war from happening Shran’s just trying so desperately to get into Archers pants.

Talas is literally dying in sickbay and he’s over in Archer’s quarters playfully flirting and obviously checking him out and using something I can only describe as bedroom eyes to try and woo the pink skin.

Archer shaking Shran’s hand thinking they just agreed to become allies with the Andorians 🤝 Shran shaking Archer’s hand thinking about all the ways he’s gonna wife him up and get him pregnant probably

Oh, I think we can Travis, Shran's actually offered several times already. He's first in line.

Don't even get me started on the whole Ushaan fight cause we all know that was just a kink, right? right?

Aww taking care of your husbands remains ☺️💙

Thinking about if other species becoming insanely obsessed with random parts of human history because it's just so VAST and there's so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that other events like the first contact with the Aksani, the Barkonian renaissance, the whole federation-Eminian 'poison saliva dinner' fiasco, or the Lokirrim-Iconian-Risian trading war were all very interesting.

But I can't help but imagine the endless hilarity that involves something like a group of Andorian teens all being like:

"Did you know that there used to be other types of human sub-species living on earth billions and billions of years ago? Yeah! they were called like knee-an-do-thals and erik-toss or something" "Really? So, it was like the human version of Aenar on their planet?" "I guess so yeah" "So, what happened to them?" "The ancient humans killed them all." "..." "..."

"...maybe...on second thought, we should help Anika with her biology project after all."

Idea that once human movies and tv series becomes accessible to the rest of the universe they immediately have to get re-called and re-regulated by the federation.

Like, the Andorians thought they had sexy romance shows, but then the terrans come along and now you've got angry zhavey's, shreya's, charan's, and thavan's calling in concerned on what their teenagers are watching.

And this especially applies to horror movies, Klingon space gets access to some classics and figure they'll sit around and laugh at the silly human horror. Cut to one Texas Chainsaw Massacre marathon later and now some human captain's are reporting that the Klingons are looking at them weirdly, like they almost seem... nervous of them?

Same thing goes for when Vulcans begin to approach human crewmates to ask how they manage to keep their children away from "The animated blue kanine and the female pink sus scrofa domesticus?"

Ferenginar just has a flatout ban against any and all talent/contest shows. To win profit just for having a talent? For showing good teamwork? Without any cheating or lying? Disgraceful media. (Although they would appreciate the trick of adding a sob backstory to gain more sympathy votes)