Find your tribe in a Sea of Creativity
In you I trust
Summary: Tine didn’t know what to do, how to feel. What he hadn’t realised was that the damage was already done. Years of dating people who didn't want him, getting rejected over and over again just because he seemed disposable had taken its toll. While he seemed bright and confident most of the time when it came to putting himself out there, his self esteem was in shambles. He did love himself and had a pretty good self-image but his ideals on how others should treat him were now a bit shaky. Did he deserve Sarawat? And what must he do to make himself worth it? What must he do to ensure he doesn’t disappoint, to make sure Sarawat doesn't leave him after the first week? (Basically includes all the communication we never got in the series. The one conversation that could have made it better.)
Fic starts here:
Tine looked into his eyes and stared as if he was searching for something. Much like a police officer peering into the eyes of a suspect desperately searching for answers. "Why?"
"Huh?", Sarawat said bemused.
"Why do you want to be with me? What am I offering you that's so special? I certainly don't think I have done anything of note that could have attracted your attention. So other than being a good friend to you, what exactly have I done?", he asked his tone rising.
Taken by surprise Sarawat curses himself for not realising sooner that something had been upsetting his boyfriend. "Please tell me where this is coming from", he pleaded, "I want to know just where the heck all this self doubt is coming from".
His voice strained with trying to keep the tears in, Tine lets it all out. He needs Sarawat to, if not empathize, just listen and answer.
"I got a lot of people just wanting to be with me cause I looked good with them. Like I was an accessory. And the few who I thought liked me, well, turns out I was quite dispensable to them. So far I have never been a keeper. So why are you different? How can I possibly expect everything to be fine when I’m scared that you will up and run any moment?"
Sarawat who had been staring at the floor contemplatively edged closer towards Tine on the bed. “Okay", he said, taking it all in. "Now it's your turn to hear me out. I like you for a lot of reasons, yes being appealing to the eye was one of them, but of course it wasn't the main reason. You think me, a guy who hasn't ever been in a relationship before, not even a hookup, would want to enter a long term relationship with someone based on trivial bullshit? From the moment I met you I had a feeling that we would click not just as boyfriends but as friends. I knew you would get me despite how weird I am. You have this aura that just makes me feel safe. I don’t know, maybe being an introvert helped me observe the way people behave. Because when I met you it was like I knew you, no, I felt you, the way you are as a person and it made me think 'This is someone I want to be with'. Not because you did something outstanding that attracted me, not because you're a catch and definitely not because you complete me. It’s just… you are free to be yourself around me and I can finally be comfortable in my own skin around you. Don't you think that's reason enough for me not to leave you?
Tine crumpled into Sarawat at that point. Sarawat felt dampness through the front of his T-shirt. “I’m sorry I didn't realise you were feeling insecure sooner" he said to the head sobbing on his chest. "I should have known. I promise to always be here, okay? Anytime you need reminding of why you are special to me I’ll be here.”
Sarawat didn't know when his own cheeks got wet and then they were just two boys in a room holding each other as they wept. "Oi!", Sarawat said lifting Tine off him. "Come on let's stop with this melancholic atmosphere."
Wiping away his tears and then Sarawat's, Tine let out a contented sigh. "Thank you Wat. I needed this. I'll be here for you too, whenever you need reminding that you mean so much to me even if I don't make it evident at times. I'm still learning", he said while holding Sarawat's face, brushing away stray tears. He inched closer, just till he could feel Sarawat's lips brushing his, and then planted a soft kiss.
Sarawat broke away, grinning, "You're definitely learning well". "Salaleo! ", Tine exclaimed a similar grin creeping onto his face.