You Forgot The One That Says “everything”

today i got triggered, and i took care of myself.

i made all the healthy choices, and then i felt better.

and for that im really proud of myself.

its devastating, seeing the life ive longed for happen to others while im stuck in bed in a flare up… again.. its so hard.

i unfollow a lot of people for this honestly, if i havent seen them in the past few years then i dont see the point in seeing a bunch of posts that make me feel bad, its sad.

Being chronically ill in your 20s is stupid you have to see your peers like “started a family🥰” “got married😍” “bought a house😇” “scored a promotion😋” meanwhile you’re fighting for your life to take a shower

hey all, originally this post used the term “deformed” and some people who were born with illnesses that have caused them to look different have asked me and other people to not use that word unless they have an illness that causes such. completely valid so i changed it.

i was not born with an illness that did that, however i have many medical issues that have lead to my body looking different to those around me. i do not know whether that makes me “valid” in using that term and i dont feel comfortable sharing my medical history to try and “prove” as such. so i will no longer be using that term online.

i also want to point out the OR in the first sentence of this post. i am bringing up two different occurrences here, and expanding on the disabled one.

love and kindness i am not offended by any of this 🩷

being unattractive or physically different/disabled DOES NOT equal being morally bad/evil. there is an atrocious amount of ableism that occurs when someone doesn’t look “normal.” and i am so fucking sick of it.

in media it is (almost) always the villains who are different/disabled. and media is a massive part of how people form their world views.

i want to mention arcane for example, because people seem to be confused about what good representation is. people praise the hell out of that show, and for good reason it has great things about it, but people told me it had good disabled representation. so i watched it. and while parts of the disabled representation is good.. almost all physically different/disabled characters are portrayed as bad/evil/villains at some point in their story (or all of it.) and then by the end of the show most of them are dead.

abled people i need you to understand that is not good representation. please look out for these tropes it happens ALL the time.

good representation includes different/disabled characters who are heroes and morally “good” too.

if you make all your villains physically different and none of them are heroes i hate you. i am so sick of this.

its really confusing when youve had a traumatic childhood, but your adult life has been really traumatic too.

because on the one hand i have so much nostalgia for my childhood and i long for it, but on the other hand it really wasnt that great.. i just had less responsibility for my health.

i feel like im constantly searching for when i felt safe, but im not even sure if there was really a time where i truely felt safe.

i think thats why i love engaging with media from my childhood so much, its what helped me escape as a kid and im still running after that feeling.

im being referred to multiple new specialists and being put on multiple new medications im so exhausted and im sick of not getting any answers and only short term relief

i hate greenwashing fucking hellll

Please understand that not every marginalized person is going to have a list of peer reviewed sources and accurate statistics proving the bigotry they face in their daily life and you sometimes just have to decide to believe people when they tell you they are suffering

okay it got better for sureeee!!

its a bit of a slow start for me personally, but i thoroughly enjoyed the 2/3 and then the 3/3 even more!

im not sure if i will get the sequel or not, ill read a few more books and see if im still thinking about emily wilde after that.

spoilers below

wendell and emily’s dynamic is hilarious after the proposal. they are so direct with each other normally, but when it comes to romance they just avoid actually speaking of it as such.

i really enjoyed how the town accepted emily’s way of being, that she is not good with attention or small talk or pleasantries. they didnt demand any kind of thanks from her, they knew she was thankful without it.

3.5/5 ⭐️

im reading emily wilde’s encyclopaedia of faeries right now and im not sure how i feel about it.

like i like it dont get me wrong. i eat anything up that has fairies of any kind.

but im a very.. emotional person, and so the format of the book being emily’s diary, and her being quite a.. professional and almost stoic? person, doesnt quite engage me as much.

maybe she taps into her emotions later in the story (i’m about a 1/3 of the way through) so idk!! thats just my thoughts so far

why arent more able bodied people fighting for disability advocacy?

see disabled people as humans, as peers, as equals.

we deserve access to everything you do. we deserve the chance to have a happy and comfortable life just as you do.

dont push us out of sight and out of mind.

we do not deserve that. we are equals.