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just gonna type here and get shit off my mind.

i wanna be completely transparent. im 100% going to get harrassed for what i have to say, but i just need to talk.

in regards to what's been revealed about Shelby's situation and Wilbur's involvement.

i've been a big fan of Wilbur since I joined the DSMP fandom and continued to be as I grew older. he's someone i strongly related to heavily due to mental health struggles. i love his characters and his storylines, even if they were silly sometimes. i loves his relationships with those close to him, like with Tommy and Quackity especially. i love his music a lot, Lovejoy is my favorite band, and is probably the only music i never really get tired of.

this is why im not ready to just suddenly drop him. deep down i still really like him and have related to him which is exactly why it is *so* difficult for me to just suddenly stop everything related to him.

on the other hand, i've known about Shelby since i was young. i watched a lot of her stuff with NewScapePro (lots of the undertale and fnaf roleplay stuff) and she was always one of my favorites, though i hadn't really stuck with her as i grew up. when i heard about her situation, i felt a lot of empathy with her, as i also went through abuse (mental and emotional, though).

where my struggle really starts is that i want to support Shelby, but i cant find it in myself to just completely stop my interest with Wilbur. it doesnt help that Wilbur has been one of my primary comfort people for the past few years, he was one of the people i chose to watch or listen to when i was sad.

im internally conflicted. i KNOW i should stop supporting Wilbur, especially because i've been a victim too, but it's so difficult for me, especially when my current hyperfixtiations involve him primarily.

im not ready to just let go. i should do it, but i physically can't. it's so damn hard.

i desperately want to believe in him, believe that he can and will change, but i know how abusers work. i believe in him but i know i shouldnt, and it is frustrating me.

i love him (in a way one would love any other celebrity, obviously) but i also hate him right now, but i also dont.

im not a bad person for not being ready to let go yet... but what happens if i'm never ready? what if im only ready once i find a different hyperfixtiation?

what's going to happen now? will Wilbur even be okay? (i shouldnt wonder about it but i do)

im in a very tough spot. there are so many thoughts in my head that are worsening my already low point in mental and emotional stability.

im gonna be seen as a bad person no matter what i choose to do.

which is why im just choosing to not let it change what im doing right now. maybe once things calm down, maybe i can figure things out more and i may do something different, but for right now, im not going to change anything. i will change things when im ready too. people may not like that, but it's what i need. it's what's best for me right now.

i hope Shelby will be able to fully recover and heal. i hope that Wilbur can genuinely change for the better. i hope that those closest to Wilbur are doing okay too.

quick edit because i forgot to mention this:

Wilbur's mental health is NOT excuse for abuse. Wilbur's twitter post also wasn't great.

but im also choosing to keep in mind that 1. he doesnt owe the internet an apology. he only owes the victim(s) apologies. we are not entitled to an apology.

2. while it isnt an excuse, mental health still contributes to abuse which is why i still believe that if he really tries, he can improve himself.

im not forgiving him for what he did, but im still struggling with my thoughts and emotions, which is why i cant just drop everything.

i hope that this clears things up a bit more.

It's fucking sick I have to come on here AGAIN today to talk about the DSMP community, including haters and antis.

One fucking stream. One was all it took for Manatreed (Ollie) to be accused of false things? Abusing women? Going to jail? Where the actually fuck are these people getting these ideas?

Quit being fucking jealous because he got popular quickly. Becoming a youtuber or star is not a fucking race, grow the hell up.

If you EVER make false accusations like this, fan or not, you are not part of this community. Dream and other SMP members DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH DOXXING, MAKING FALSE ACCUSATIONS, OR HATE. How hard is it to understand that? Stop trying to tear Ollie down, he's had one fucking stream, he never did anything wrong.

Grow up and act mature, or get off the internet. This is unbelievable.

https://twitter.com/dreamwastaken/status/1488479934389567488?t=2uLfQqsS2rm8U5vi2Nk1ww&s=19

So are they happy with what they've done? (the fucks that started the drama that is)

Being someone who suffers with anxiety, it is fucking disgusting to see people exploit it, and it is especially disgusting to see that both Manatreed and Dream suffered with anxiety from this situation, because people want nothing more than to see others suffer. I never condone trolling, doxxing, etc. etc., but if you're one of those fucks that decided to start this drama: go get a damn life.

Sorry for coming off aggressively or angry, but I am pissed off, with plenty of good reason to be.

And in this time right now, we need to support Dream and Manatreed. It must have taken a lot of courage for them to get through the anxiety and come out to say anything at all.

Problems with PJ's Daycare.

Going along with "Undetale Peasant"'s comic dub, I will be addressing these problems from beginning, to end.

Fresh saying he'd marry PJ when he was older; It would be so awkward being HOW MUCH older than Fresh, knowing him as a toddler would be awkward... wouldn't it? Plus, by the time they'd "marry", PJ would be in his 60's, probably. Someone gave the idea of them marrying immediately and Fresh starts demanding to do it. (OOC) People supporting the above ^. Ink is MAJOR OOC. Seriously... "Suddenly grows up to be an adult". -_- PJ LITERALLY SAYS THAT ANONS ARE ENCOURAGING IT- PEOPLE LIGET PROTECTING FRESH ABOUT HIM CRYING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO MARRY NOT ONLY HIS NEPHEW BUT HIS FUCKING BABYSITTER AND AN ADULLLLLT- Fresh is also VERY OOC, as well as PJ. PJ also justifying them marrying when FRESH gets older. PJ literally saying he loved Fresh. SEXUALING TODDLER LUST. LUST WAS ALSO OOC. LUST ALSO HAD A WEIRDLY SEXUAL OUTFIT. HE'S A TODDLER. Dream and Blue OOC. Thegreatrogue shipping PJ with anons. (And Fresh getting protective.) Error wanting to marry Ink even though he, a toddler, should have no idea what marriage is about, aka love, which he, A TODDLER, would not understand yet. Once again SHIPPING TODDLERS- How the fuck does Swapfell even KNOW WHAT A SLAVE IS WHAT- Anons bullying a toddler. CROSS. CROSS IS SO OOC IT ISN'T EVEN A JOKE. PEOPLE CRUSHING ON THE TODDLERS. People wanting Error and Ink to give each other nicknames. Because they're married. AND ARE TODDLERS. Not to mention the whole "THE TALK" thing. People saying stuff about Error and Ink kissing at the wedding. "HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON POOR FRESH" A CHILD. FRESH IS A CHILD. THEY DIDN'T CHEAT- WHAT- PJ's outfit looking wayyyy too sexual- PJ's girlfriend LITERALLY calling him a pedo (which technically, HE IS.) Rogue assuming the CQ is okay with this situation even remotely. GENO'S OOC- Shipping PJ with Rogue. Just... stop. 7goodangel literally has said that they do not accept OR support Paperfresh! PaperJam is their creation, so we should RESPECT what they have told us, AND NOT SHIP PAPERFRESH. People telling Geno his brother will die. VERY MUCH OOC GENO- Sexualizing PJ. EVEN MORE OOC CROSS. People telling PJ that HE is the one that "killed" Error. Geno becomes very unrealistic to a real toddler. Ink LITERALLY lifting Reaper up by his collar and screaming. Geno deciding he is better off dead, once again, not thoughts of a toddler. Blueprint and Gradient incest. Alter Sans being romantic with Gradient??? PEDOPHILIA PEOPLE. Rogue's OC bullying Goth, aka an adult, bullying a minor. Goth and Palette being ROUGHLY 12-13 and those two other weirdos sexualizing it. Sexualizing minors, aka Palette and Goth. Geno literally trying to kill himself. A toddler knowing about death? What the hell? Making Ink think he has to take care of Fresh. They're like a year apart. Seriously? WHY WERE THE PARENTS NOT INFORMED ABOUT GENO AND ERROR- Palette, a 12 year old, thinking he can get with an adult. People literally called them out on this, above ^, and nothing was DONE ABOUT IT- Shipping a minor, Goth, with an adult, Rogue's OC. The Cray vs. Palette x Goth, aka the love triangle. Please... THEY ARE MINORS- Shipping toddlers again- Fika sexualizing Goth and Palette- Cray getting a LIIIIIITTLE too close to Goth. Goth is clueless about this, how. Also the last part with Palette and Cray. THEY ARE MINORS-

TL;DR: PJ's Daycare sucks major ass because sexualizing minors, sexualizing toddlers, shipping toddlers, pedophilia, incest, love triangles betweens minors, completely out of character characters, and people supporting ALL OF THIS.

yesss bish

What if someone under 18 saw your drawings?

Aaaaand?It’s not a NSFW blog, so whatever

And if you mean my other blog, i also don’t care, it’s their problem

DEAR HORROR ENTHUSIASTS...

I work at my local Haunted House, this year, I agreed to be in a room with one of our new volunteers. The room is just a living room set-up. There's a fake, charred skeleton with some creepy mask on it, it sits on the couch which is kinda old, and movable. There's also a wooden chair that one of our managers designed to be motion tracked, so when people walk past, it goes off. Thhere's also a painting on the wall, a few other decorations, and the hidden door has a shelf attached, along with a home video camera on top of it, so it blends in, and it takes a bit longer for people to get through the room and what not.

The reason I bring it up, is because I NEED IDEAS! Give me your ideas, please! I'm not the most talented with make-up, but there are other people around to help too, I am okay with special effects, there is blood, and costumes to pick from, and I do have a few clothes here at home.

We have a little less than 2 hours to do make-up, (they open at 4 for actors to do make-up and dress up, etc. and this year, we have a strict rule to go to our rooms by 6:40. We start letting people in at 7.) so I need something I could do quickly, but it may be possible to do some make-up at home.

So, with all that... give me your ideas! (please)

CPAU If The Fandom Could Ruin It

Geno: I'M NOT NURTURING YOUR WEIRD SADISTIC SH*T!!!

Nekophy and AfterDeath Shippers: *Shoves Goth, Raven, Shino, and Xahji into the frame*

Geno: WTF? WHAT ARE THESE? WHERE DID THEY COME FROM???

Reaper: It's our children, and they're from you nurutring my 'weird sadistic shit'

Geno:

Reaper:

Geno:

Reaper:

Goth: mum are you okay?

Geno: *probably faints*

The Children: MUM??

So ya'll know the FNaF theory about Gregory being the FNAF4 bite victim? If you don't, basically, after bite victim's death, William couldn't handle his death, and remade him as a robot. Gregory and the bite victim look extremely similar, though it would typically be impossible for them to be the same because we know bite victim died, sparking the possiblity that William made him into a robot, and that robot being Gregory. (Plenty of evidence shown in the game) For better information, I'm obviously directing you to MatPat's theory about it.

Anyways! I'm sat here watching Astro Boy and noticed parallels about son's death, then remade into a robot, and immediately it got me thinking "WILLIAM AFTON IS THAT YOU"

He be pregante yo-

my wisdom teeth are coming in. i've got two on the bottom which are already half-way out, while the top left tooth is just starting to poke out.

well i was chowing down on some delicious dinner, which i felt like something was stuck. i was feeling around and i damn near puked when i felt the gum covering my top left wisdom tooth, flap back.

i told my mom who made it worse by saying "eventually it will pop off and you'll swallow it in your sleep"

i damn near puked on the floor again

so i pulled it off.

i pulled of the flap of gum covering my wisdom tooth.

was this a bad idea? probably. do i regret it? absolutely not. will my parents get upset with me if they find out? most likely. will i care? absolutely not.

i'll take the pain over the thought of swallowing my gums.