In Absolute Tears About The Pride Module At My Work

fun fact about me, one time in 2019 me and two friends went to gdańsk, got drunk in the apartment, and made a whole fake documentary about a gay vampire and it’s the silliest thing ever. we still quote it regularly. it ends with the camera man getting eaten and the vampire realizing he’s been staying inside and avoiding sunlight for 500 years for no reason because he didn’t know that he’s actually a daylight vampire (???) and then he goes to italy on vacation. I played his unpaid assistant who helped him pick out outfits

I never used to check my email. Then I discovered AO3

Unrelated but why does he look like that?? 😭

Vote for who would win in a fight to the death!

Billy, whose parents died from being crushed by rocks in a buried tomb, watching as the wizard is killed by a massive rock falling onto him: oh…

I’ve been thinking about the “turned into children” trope that we batfam enjoyers love, and one that I really like is the justice league turning into children. Bruce from before his parents died (see: a little piece of shit), Diana from before she learned about the outside world (see: really confused bc men??), Oliver at 15 (see: also little shit but for entirely different reasons) and so on and so forth… BUT then we have captain marvel who’s already technically a child, so I present you the idea:

Billy doesn’t turn into a child, and stays in his adult form. He has to take care of the league, because the world can’t know that they’re children (duh), but he’s having a really hard time seeing as he’s also a child. No one questions why he’s not a child, because you know, they’re not league yet. But once they’ve transformed back (they keep their memories), they start running tests (both magical and scientific) on him to find out why he it didn’t effect him, but find NOTHING. In the end they deem that maybe captain marvel is just immune to reverse aging spells.

And this is where I present to you yet ANOTHER idea:

One day one of them (whoever you like) sees billy transform and assumes he was hit with a reverse aging spell. Cue Billy having to dodge actually explaining how he’s a real child and why the reverse aging spell didn’t work on him

batman would hate me because I’d insist on pockets with my costume and he’d argue a utility belt is technically multiple pockets and I wouldn’t take that

Being someone who lives in a completely different Timezone from the USA, it’s so fun to see my American mutuals become active at the most random times

Just a bunch of little guys, up from their naps and running around with their guns! Awww

when you dump the rats out in the front yard where do you think they go

Have some de-aged Batman.

You can’t convince me that Batman wasn’t a angsty teen full of spite and anger.

———

Superman: “so, in the future you become a vigilante named Batman!”

Bruce, sitting cross legged in the corner of the room refusing to go near any of the JL: “I fucking hate bats, I swear those little flying rat-like shits want to kill me”

Flash, a look of pure shock on his face: “Batman was scared of bats?!?!?”

Green Lantern, wheezing with surprised laughter: “BATMAN WAS SCARED OF BATS!!!”

———

Bruce, staring at Green Arrow: “Ollie”

Green Arrow: “Bruce”

Bruce, looking Green arrow up and down with a judgmental look on his face: “you’ve aged-”

Green Arrow trying to finish his sentence: “well?”

Bruce, completely deadpan: “no”

Green Arrow: “…”

Bruce: “…”

Green Arrow turning around and speed walking away: “Okay! Bye!”

———

Bruce, pulling out a cigarette from nowhere and then lighting it with some random lighter.

Superman, nervously walking up to Bruce because he doesn’t know how to act around him: “hey Bruce? You shouldn’t be smoking in the watchtower… or like, anywhere”

Bruce just staring at him now: “…”

Superman, practically sweating now: “y’know, cause you’re… well… 16?”

Bruce, with a look of complete seriousness: “I’ll stop smoking when I inevitably smash a hole through one of the windows and let myself —and hopefully everyone else— get sucked into space to freeze and die”

Superman, backing away while trying to figure out if he was joking or not: “okay I’m just going to go now…”

———

Bruce: “so you can make anything with that ring?”

Green Lantern: “yep! Anything”

Bruce: “can you make a crowbar?”

Green Lantern, thinking he’s bonding with Bruce and conjures up a crowbar: “yeah”

Bruce, grabs the crowbar without warning and throws it at Green Arrow’s meeting chair, effectively making a huge dent in it.

Bruce: “cool” *walks away*

Green Lantern: *horrified and confused*