Latest Posts by t0nedeafsiren - Page 4

concept: you are invited to a potluck. you bring paper plates, only to discover that everyone else has done the same. a gentle thunder fills the room; the result of a dozen rumbling stomachs.

amid tired looks of resignation, it dawns on you what must be done. taking a paper plate, you stand, and softly, you break it, saying

“the Body of Christ”

Is this divine intervention

you are Ridiculous and you Make My Day

This makes my heart warm . . . like a piece of wet toast

*tries to romantically light a candle but sets the tablecloth on fire*

Eboy this...egirl that.... And what am I ? An ediot...

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

mmmm eggs

captains log; stardate 8008.2

an unidentified humanoid just beamed on board and ordered all our replicators to produce “soup, no bowl” and fucking left

The scene in Shrek 2 when the Fairy Godmother sings I need a Hero when the giant gingerbread man attacks the castle is still the greatest scene in cinema of all times

a vampire giving themselves a pep talk to a mirror that has a crudely drawn picture of themselves that they drew taped to it

Muppets live among us.

A Modern Renaissance Painting

sorry bro but according to my calculations you now have to kiss me on the lips. bro it’s in the math right here i checked it with a calculator and everything

they call me Peace bc aliens be cuming in me 😩👏👽

let’s bring back romanticism i’m tired of trying to be rational, we’re all dumb and we all want love

Do you ever wanna bond with someone so bad you’re like “damn i wish we were knights on a dangerous quest”

self undiagnosed with depression. i don’t have it anymore.

edging? more like filibusting a nut

Wine is just grape juice for sad people

The new thing I do when I procrastinate is look up “school project” on youtube and set it to most recent. Many hidden gems in there

Like the genius of this. Yet only 9 views. smh

2 dislikes. the haters don’t understand

you know what’s probably more fun than playing chess? cheating at chess

“ohhh would you look at that, my pawns found jesus and now they’re all bishops”

“so i realize it looks like i’m putting a thimble on the board but actually my rooks have been using their downtime to build another rook, one that’s better, stronger, faster—”

“hey welcome back. while you left to get a snack, those six pieces you’d captured slipped their guards, tunneled to safety and emerged right in the middle of your royal palace.”

“oof, looks like you’ve got my king cornered…maybe this is a good time to mention that shortly before we started playing, my pawns and knights revolted and instituted a representative democracy. feel free to kill the puppet ruler that was the one remaining vestige of our tyranny, you cringing servant of the crown. vive la revolution!”

god i hate being alive i just wanna die in a national park under mysterious circumstances 

I’ll get over it I just gotta be dramatic first

oh to be a little dog sprinting at top speeds around the house with reckless abandon to release all the stress pent up from your extremely harrowing bathtime

Troy Bolton was right when he said “Out on my own, it’s such a scary place”

I laughed way too hard at this

my #1 priority politically is making sure we bring back cowboys but more explicitly homoerotic