Can We Kill Therapy-speak In Fanfic?

This YouTube comment has been on my mind since I finished SOTR so this is what I came up with:

Lucy Gray was the mockingbird, living on the outskirts of district 12 and was there at the wrong time when they were forced to stay there after the Dark Days. They were subjected to the Capitol’s politics despite not being a part of Panem, technically speaking. Lucy Gray became part of the Games and, likewise, the mockingbird became affiliated with the Capitol through the jabberjay’s release into the woods, but it still continued to sing its own song.

Haymitch was the jabberjay, a Capitol tool that did what it had to in order to survive. The Capitol thought they could control them, but they retaliated in the form of rebellion. Haymitch refused to be a piece in their game and tried to end it, and the jabberjay, in the eyes of the Capitol, created a freak of nature that showed the Capitol’s lack of complete control.

Katniss was the mockingjay, a slap in the face of the Capitol, something that was never meant to exist. Together, the song of the mockingbird that lived on for generations and the stubbornness of the jabberjay that refused to die, the mockingjay had the best of both worlds. It was a symbol of rebellion and unity.

real talk on the laws in the mha universe:

i wonder what the law is on unlicensed quirk use in self-defense situations would be like? if a person was hypothetically using their quirk in a situation where they had to fight back to keep themselves safe, is there a legal code defending self-defense? or do they instantly fall under vigilante laws? what even are the laws of vigilantism? what legally constitutes vigilante action? i am SO intrigued on this hello. but also i bet quirks would make law school such a pain in the ass

can we acknowledge how insane izuku was? like he was literally insane. surely we realize that as a fandom, right? he’s insane-

oh. we don’t? oh okay let me just compile a list…

-GRABBED onto All Might’s leg in an attempt to have a single conversation with the man

-WITHOUT THOUGHT ran into a literal villain, and attempted to save HIS BULLY while having NO QUIRK or COMBAT experience

-Cleaned ALL OF DAGOBAH BEACH (a literal landfill) on his own without question

-Broke his bones the first time he used his quirk. Knows the pain of breaking bones. HAS NO PROBLEM WITH BREAKING THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN

-breaks his bones just to fight Katsuki.

-jumps IN FRONT OF ALL MIGHT (a 15 year old boy trying to save the symbol of peace) to take a hit for him from shigaraki in the USJ

-Executes his plan with the mines during the sports festival, LAUNCHING HIMSELF USING EXPLOSIVES WITHOUT GUARANTEE OF SUCCESS (he literally could’ve died if he landed wrong)

-broke his ARMS JUST TO PROVE A POINT against shoto (nobody asked him to do that??? he just did??? never had to do that???)

-Uses the name associated with a very specific insult towards him specifically into his HERO NAME (Brave move. like who the heck does that)

Let’s not even begin to discuss how Izuku is in a constant HANDS OR NOTHING mindset. The amount of times he could’ve called in for a professional or a teacher for backup, but instead electing to dive headfirst into combat regardless if he thinks he’s gonna make it out alive or not. He has no problems running into the portal during the league of villains training camp raid if it means he can save Katsuki. He used OFA at 100% regardless of the intense pain he felt just because Eri was rewinding him. When he meets gentle, he doesn’t even try to call a teacher or text a friend. NOPE! He’ll fight the fucker himself. Nobody told him to go vigilante. He chose to go vigilante because he felt it was necessary to do handle shit on his own. Forget recuperating and figuring out strategy with the class. He’s gonna go fuck all and find Shigaraki himself.

Also, LET’S NOT EVEN BEGIN with when things involve Katsuki, Izuku is a MASSIVE CRASHOUT. His biggest character moments are him having to fight against his crashout tendencies. He isn’t even a self-destructive crashout. He’s a destroy absolutely everything around him crashout. HE IS A PROBLEM

Extenuating circumstances aside, his mindset is ABSOLUTELY not a common one for the average 15-year-old. Let alone the type of sunshine nervous cinnamonroll the fandom makes him out to be. He’s a nervous wreck, yes. He’s also very kind. But he is also literally insane.

It’s why I love him so much tbh

MHA light novel quote that haunts me

president snow traumadumping on a teenager about his nightmare situationship pt.2

haymitch seeing a bunny: "how could I possibly kill a creature that brings to mind my girl?" 🥺

snow seeing mockingjays:

we all agree bkdk is a sun and moon dynamic but have we considered that they both see each other as the sun and think of themselves as the moon

i’m glad to be of service, person. mha is a brilliant piece of media with lots of nuances and things to pick out, i’m glad to be a voice for the people who enjoy picking at it with me :)

is it just me or was endeavor's arc never about him deserving redemption??? nor was he ever actually redeemed? like, atonement vs redemption are two very different things, and watering him down to "he is a horrible person henceforth he does not deserve to be written a redemption arc." in my opinion, that's just a tragic waste of his character.

endeavour's existence as a hero actually brings a very important and nuanced layer to the world of MHA and also brings up the question; is a person's good deeds enough to measure their worth?

think about it: todoroki enji is an abusive father and husband. he bought his wife, participated in a genetics scheme, neglected two of his children, pushed his eldest to his limit psychologically, and physically abused his youngest.

but think of endeavour: the number two hero. his efficiency rates are the highest in the country. he keeps property damage to the absolute minimum and runs an agency with an expansive network of sidekicks. and what is this man's job? he SAVES LIVES. it is his literal JOB to SAVE PEOPLE, and he is THE BEST in his field. it would be one thing if he were incompetent, but endeavour is literally incredible at his job.

the dichotomy proposes a philosophical question: would you remove this man from his job when he is so instrumental to the protection of the population?

i understand how severe his abuse was. i understand how severe abuse IS. it ruins the very foundations of who you are. todoroki enji effectively has ruined his family. but he has something that many abusers do not have: guilt.

his guilt does not absolve him of his crimes. he is aware of this. but he is attempting to take accountability. and while he is entirely too late, would you rather have the man not try at all? and for the people who want him locked up: what is endeavour serving a prison sentence going to do for the population? sow growing fear and distrust in a society where people are losing faith in their heroes?

there's one more layer that people forget, or in some cases, refuses to acknowledge: he loves his family. he only comes to love them far too late. and thats another thing people forget: abusers can truly love the people they abuse. and enji loves his kids, you can see it in the way he embraces natsuo after he thought he almost died, how he embraced touya even if he thought he would die with him, how proud he is of shouto as a hero, and how thankful he is for fuyumi. he still remembers rei's favorite flowers and always has them sent for her. the problem is that it's all too late. too little, too late. but it's THERE and i find the writing incredible.

i just think that endeavour is such a brilliantly written character. not redeeming endeavour would've made him a cartoonishly evil character, and undermined the themes mha depicts. what makes a hero? what level of morality does someone need to have? if a man is a murderer, but ends up saving another in a heroic act, is he now a hero? redemption is never something people deserve. it is something they earn, and whether endeavour was truly redeemed was a personal decision, that only the people he abused could ever make.

the beautiful part of it all, was that every todoroki had a different response to it. because every single one of their responses were valid.

natsuo walked away and went no-contact. enji would never see his future daughter-in-law, or grandchild, or anyone from natsuo's family ever again. and that's something enji will forever have to live with.

rei stays by her husbands side. she chooses to forgive. if only because she feels guilty too.

fuyumi genuinely wants to reconnect her family, not just for enji's sake, but for her own. because she wants to cling to the only family she has.

shouto wants to establish his own identity away from his father, and become a hero in spite of what enji has done to him. because it's who he is.

and touya wants to burn it all down.

these are all very, very real responses to abuse and destructive family dynamics. and it was all beautifully written. keeping up with the todorokis is honestly some of the best family writing i've seen in shounen. its rare to have a full family written into the picture with such realistic and complex problems, that show their lives as a family not just from childhood, as almost all animes do, but how their dynamics shift and change as everyone in the family grows and moves on with their lives. families aren't just shed for narrative purposes like it's mostly written in manga and shounen. they stick with you almost your whole life. and endeavour is an important part of the tapestry created- "not redeeming" him is the same as throwing him out of the picture.

because endeavour is a realistic depiction of an abusive man. and i know from personal experience- abusers are not cartoonish monsters. they're real people with emotions like everybody else. and the harm they inflict on others always backfires on them- they'll feel it for the rest of their lives. and so does endeavour. he destroyed his own family, and he's not getting it back. he knows this. so he's not going to try and get all of them to love him again, he knows that would he pointless.

hence the atonement. he's going to be there from now on, however he can, because he knows that nothing he can ever do will fix his mistakes. he will never be at that dining table with his family.

anyway lol end of ramble i just think he's an amazing character and stories should explore more themes based around him and the todoroki family

"shipping" doesn't feel like the right term anymore. like im not looking at these two characters and thinking "outside of the canon they would make a good couple." or "i hope the author writes them to be together" shipping is shallow. shipping is taking two characters who have a potential, but dont really live up to it. shipping is just making shit up. that's jelsa. that’s shounen boys and their “love interests.” that's the entire disney princess catalogue pre-ariel. what im doing is im looking at WHAT THEY ALREADY ARE and thinking "woah. okay. incredible dynamic there. im gonna hyperfixate on it until i shrivel up and die" and if it happens their already existing dynamic has heavily romantic implications, then that has NOTHING to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with the canon🤷‍♀️

HELLO

happy Thursday the 20th

What if Gojo killed the Star Religious group?

A small drabble I wrote on the short and immediate aftermath of the Hidden Inventory arc. I always wondered what would happen if Gojo decided to kill all of those people. And what would happen to Suguru as a result?

It’s rather short, I wrote it a few years ago and posted it on Ao3. I’ve fixed it with some edits and improvements. Contains a Suguru who doesn’t quite understand his feelings for Satoru- but he has them anyway.

Tags

-angst -unspoken feelings -the idiots are emotionally stunted -suguru wasn't there -suguru pov -trauma -there is no happy ending but it's not a sad one either -our blue still lives -youth, ah youth -denial

Here it is; enjoy :)

Cup Noodles

All things considered, maybe Suguru would’ve rather found Satoru dead.

If he really thought about it, maybe it would’ve made more sense to Suguru if he had bid his final farewell to a corpse. To mourn Satoru at his grave and curse the elders for letting another teenager die. But of course, Satoru could not confine himself to tradition, nor the mere concept of normal.

Non-standard, perhaps, and yet so predictable in his unpredictability.

Satoru had gone and massacred the entire Star Religious Group after Amanai had been killed. Satoru, in all of his power, had decidedly made a mess of the entire affair. Both metaphorically, and literally. Mangled corpses littered across the grounds, the walls of the building left in tact, if not for the cracks caused by the bodies thrown across them, and the gore left in their crevices. Suguru knew that Satoru could be clean with his technique. He could be fast too, eviscerate them all in a splatter, leave nothing but a pool of blood in his wake. Instead, he tortured them. Slowly, and deliberately. And judging by the fact that all of their faces had been left in tact, frozen in looks of horror and fear, Suguru could see the warning Satoru left behind.

This was personal.

Obviously, Suguru didn’t believe it. He didn’t want to. But also, it made sense, of course Satoru would just go ahead and do that. Despite that assassin telling him that he had managed to kill Satoru, shortly after shooting Amanai dead in front of him, of course Satoru had gone and risen from the dead with a revenge. He bets that man had died too, probably torn to shreds by Satoru himself. What a fool for even considering that Satoru had died- The voice in Suguru’s head grabs himself by the shoulders and repeats the sentence like a curse.

Nobody could kill Gojo Satoru.

“By law of Jujutsu Society, Special-Grade Curse User Gojo Satoru is now to be executed on-sight, for the murder of over 50 non-sorcerers.”

Suguru scoffs at the mere thought of it.

Nobody could kill Gojo Satoru.

Amongst the chaos of it all, Shoko still finds time to pull out a cigarette and smoke it, sitting on the edge of the engawa. She somehow knows Suguru stands behind her, because she comments on the situation in a way that could only be directed at Suguru.

“Looks like you’re their new golden boy.”

Suguru’s ears begin to ring. He can’t find it in him to respond. Shoko fills the silence for both of them.

“Issuing an execution, huh? You and I both know that’s not possible.”

Shoko takes another drag, then turns to meet Suguru’s numb expression. She tosses her cigarette, stomps on it, and walks past Suguru.

“Say hi to him for me, will ya?”

Amongst all… this, amongst all the corpses and curses and suffocating elders, something dies alongside it, and as Suguru truly begins to realise the true weight of the situation, he can only cradle it and watch quietly as life slips from it and fades away.

He and Satoru were doomed from the start, weren’t they?

-

Suguru had received the text at 3:32 am. Suguru was still awake, at that point. Not like he ever slept any earlier on a normal night, anyway. Satoru had shut his phone off (as evidenced by the lack of response to calls or messages), but Suguru assumed he turned it back on to send him the message.

Suguru had two options.

One- Rat him out, show it to the elders and maybe settle this all for good, maybe they could all die trying to kill the strongest.

The other, throw on a hoodie and head for the nearest train station.

Suguru carefully turns the knob on Satoru’s dorm, packs an extra set of clothes and heads off, with extra cash in case they find an open convenience store. He takes care not to use any cursed energy on the way to the address Satoru sent him, lest someone decides to track him down.

As footsteps stomp on gravel, Suguru swallows the building bile in his throat, and ignores the growing ache in his heart. It all builds, it swirls and it rings, and Suguru feels drowned in that taste of vomit-rag. He could not throw up a curse, but it damn well felt like he would.

He realises he forgot to bring a hair tie. He couldn’t quite care to turn back to get one.

Gravel turns to pavement, and his feet hit the road.

At least, his goodbye would be on his own terms.

-

“You’re early.”

Suguru glares at Satoru, the lack of bloodstains adorning him unnerving. A constant reminder of the infinite space between them. And for the first time since they had met, Suguru genuinely considers Satoru as somebody untouchable.

“I guess I brought extra clothes for nothing.”

“Nah, I’ll still need them. Thanks for showing up.”

“…Yeah.”

Suguru sighs, tossing Satoru the backpack and sitting down at a table outside of the convenience store. Satoru opts for changing in the washroom inside, leaving Suguru alone with his thoughts. He then decides he doesn’t like his thoughts, so he wanders inside and buys two cup ramens for them, extra spicy, just because he can.

He tears the packets and pours them over the solid noodles, making sure each packet ends up empty. He fills them with hot water from the dispenser at front, carefully filling the water to the line. He brings them out to the table, setting their chopsticks on the lids to let the noodles cook.

He looks at the watch in the store- 4:06 am. The worker is playing on a DS behind the counter. Suguru lets himself become absorbed in the tedium, the faint sounds of beeps. Because otherwise he might just punch something.

Satoru eventually walks out of the washroom, new clothes on with the backpack thrown over his shoulder. He smiles at the sight of the ramen, then proceeds to sit down in front of a cup, and as a result, in front of Suguru.

“Mind if I keep the bag?”

“Yeah, I’ll just use yours back at the dorms.”

“Got it. Are the noodles cooked yet?”

“A few more minutes.”

“Ah. Wow, extra spicy?”

“Why? Can’t handle it?”

“Oh, shut up.”

It’s easy, Suguru thinks to himself. It’s so easy for them to just talk like this. To act like nothing’s wrong. To share a meal and throw jokes at each other. Satoru smiles, and for a moment, there really is nothing wrong in the world. It’s just them, Satoru and Suguru eating cup noodles at 4am at some convenience store.

Suguru decides to let himself pretend they’re just two normal teenagers, nothing more, and nothing less.

4:11 am.

“Ah, the noodles should be ready now.”

“Great.”

The two rip apart their chopsticks, and peel off the lids. Suguru liked to keep his on, open just enough to be able to access the whole cup. Satoru straight up peeled his clean off. They begin eating.

It’s just them, Suguru thinks. It’s nobody but them.

But it’s never been about just them, has it? It never was.

At least, it shouldn’t have been.

“Why’d you send me a text with your exact location? You know I could’ve come here just to execute you.”

“Well, I trust you.”

Satoru slurps his noodles, and Suguru stares at his.

“After all that, I’m not so sure I can even consider trusting, anymore.”

Satoru is still wearing his shades, but Suguru can feel his piercing gaze. Suguru looks back, and knows without a doubt they lock eyes.

“Did you have a reason?”

“No, not really.” Satoru answers, in the most casual way in the world.

Suguru clutches his chopsticks in a fist.

“Well? Was it worth it?”

“You tell me.” Satoru sits up. “Have they changed at all, back there?”

They’re panicked out of their minds. Suguru scoffs.

“You know they’ll hunt you down.”

“And you know if they do manage to find me-”

“Yeah. The strongest bullshit. Whatever.”

“…Exactly,” Satoru scoffs.

Suguru slowly eats more of his noodles, letting the spice burn on his tongue and sting his eyes.

“I… I want to tell you that we have to protect the weak. You know that as much as I do, no matter how much bullshit you spew about not believing in it.”

It’s just the spice. The ramen is spicy. That’s all.

“If I had arrived there, any earlier… would you still have done it?”

Satoru smiles. “Only if you told me to.”

Suguru swallows the noodles.

“I feel like a hypocrite.”

“Really.”

“You killed them… but I would’ve done the same, wouldn’t I? No matter how wrong it is… I just can’t stand those…”

The echo of a voice, a man standing above him. Was he unconscious? Was he dying? He felt a foot to his face, arrogance in spades. You were both beaten by a monkey like me who can’t even use Jujutsu.

“…Monkeys.”

Satoru offers no reply. Suguru lets his hair fall across his face, obscuring whatever look he might have on his face. Although, Suguru doesn’t know if he’s hiding from Satoru’s face, or hiding his own expression.

“After all they’ve done… How could anyone let them live?”

“Well, I didn’t.”

Suguru pauses, then laughs. He laughs and he cackles and he laughs. He looks at Satoru and everything becomes right. Satoru isn’t laughing though, but the humour is shared when he smiles back. Suguru must be going hysterical. He’s laughing and Satoru isn’t. What kind of world have they come to?

“I hate you.”

“You love me,” Satoru retorts.

“Shut the fuck up.”

For a moment, Suguru dares to feel the swirling in his chest. To dip his toes in and test the temperature. It’s surprisingly warm, almost unsettlingly so.

He’ll leave it be, for now. It’s something he doesn’t have the time to unpack. There are many, many more things that he should be worried about right now.

“Y’know, Suguru…”

“Hm?”

“…”

“Satoru?”

“Nothing, I just- I want you to know that… we’re still the same, yeah? I mean, you can come and hunt me down and try to kill me all you want or whatever, but to me, we’ll still be the same. Always. You’ll still be my… one and only, y’know?”

Suguru chuckles. “One and only? Cheesy shit, dude.”

“I’m being serious. You’re-“

“I know, I’m joking. We’re- we’re fine. Yeah. We’re fine.”

“Good… good.”

“Yeah.”

They finish up the last of their ramen, and it’s 5:24 am. The sun hasn’t risen yet, but the summer days last long, and the beginnings of dusk paint the sky in a dark blue.

Satoru stands up first, throwing the backpack over his shoulder, and tossing Suguru his phone.

“Keep it.”

“I get that you can’t keep it on you because of, well, tracking, but do I have to keep it?”

“Yeah. I’ve taken the sim out, so don’t worry. But there’s like, a whole album of videos and shit. Look at them if you’re bored, or whatever. I know there’s some pretty good music on there too.”

“You won’t miss it?”

“Nah. I’ll get a new phone. Besides, not like this is the last time we’ll ever see each other.”

Suguru shoots out of his seat.

“Wait, what are you planning to do anyway?”

“Well, it’s not like I’m being hunted by the police, and the government can deploy all the SWAT they want and they know it’s not enough to kill me. Let them sort it out. By the end, all I’ll get is a bounty placed on my head, and a legacy as the Jujutsu world’s boogeyman.” Satoru waves his arms around dramatically as he begins cleaning up his mess of a ramen cup.

“You’re not explaining anything.”

Satoru crumples the ramen cup in his hands. There’s a pause, and then, there’s Satoru’s angry voice. Except, it’s a different type of anger. A kind that Suguru hasn’t heard in his voice before. “I don’t, fucking, know, Suguru. I don’t fucking know. But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna say fuck all and hand myself in. I’ll figure it out, eventually. And you’re gonna be told to go and find me, and you’re gonna be told to kill me. And every single time, you’re gonna fail, and we’ll keep meeting anyway.”

Suguru lets out an exasperated sigh. So much for preparing to bid farewell.

“Don’t go too far, yeah?”

“Don’t worry. I don’t think I can anyway.”

They throw out their ramen cups, and begin walking to the train station. It’s a silent walk, and Suguru absorbs every step they take, every moment they spend. The grey of the pavement, the dark blue of the night sky shifting into something purple. The sun is rising. Satoru walks next to him, the sound of his feet hitting the ground as a small reassurance that he’s still there- that his barrier wasn’t up. And Suguru realizes, Satoru is pretending too. That they’re two, normal people. On a very normal walk, on a very normal morning.

So Suguru takes it in- this normalcy. And he clings to it, tighter than he ever has before. And as they pass through the entrance gates of the train station, Satoru stops walking. He’s headed in a different direction, opposite to where Suguru needs to go.

This is it.

“So. See you later, then?”

Satoru grins. That stupid, shit-eating grin that Suguru hates.

No, he loathes it.

Suguru grins back. “Yeah. See you. Oh, and Shoko says hi.”

“Tell her I said hi back.”

“Yup… Satoru?”

“Yeah?”

Suguru doesn’t quite know what to do. He hasn’t said many goodbyes, and with the ones he has, he hugged them and promised not to die. He doesn’t exactly miss his parents though, not like he knows he will with Satoru.

He’s gonna fucking miss Satoru. Like a damn lot. A fucking ton.

It’s not like he’ll ever admit that though.

“Nothing. You’re just stupid.”

“You’re so mean to me, Suguru.”

“You deserve it.”

The silence rings between them one last time, and Suguru drinks it all in. The white of Satoru’s soft hair, the pale glow of his skin, the line of his jaw and the shapes of his build, the faint blue that peeks through his shades. He drinks in Satoru, in perhaps, the last glance he will take at him as just two, normal teenagers.

And Satoru stands there, as if waiting. And Suguru realizes, Satoru won’t go unless Suguru lets him.

Suguru swallows the vomit-rag taste in his throat.

“Until next time, then.”

“Mhm!”

They don’t hug. They don’t shake hands. Not even a high-five. Satoru just nods, smiles that stupid smile of his, and turns on his heel. As he walks away, Suguru no longer hears his footsteps. So Suguru does the same. Turns on his heel, and walks away. Miraculously, his train arrives at the platform the moment he looks at it. He boards it, and doesn’t look back.

Who knows what he would’ve done if he ever decided to look back.

-

6:02 am is when Suguru steps foot back into Jujutsu High. He knows nobody is awake with the lack of response as he steps through the barrier, and heads back to the dorms. And for the first time, in all of 48 hours, Suguru feels the heart-crushing weight of absence.

Satoru was no longer someone by his side.

This sinks in, as he walks into the dorms and there is no obnoxious chatter following him. Yet despite this, Satoru overwhelms his life like vines overgrown on a home old enough to have leaks.

He steps back into his own room, and Satoru lives in the place. The scratch on the wall from that time they had gotten into a fight while playing Super Mario Bros. The way the curtains were always closed because Satoru’s eyes were sensitive to too much light. A pack of hair ties Satoru bought for Suguru as an apology for said Mario Bros fight.

One of Satoru’s hoodies strewn across Suguru’s chair. A pile of manga the two of them traded so often, Suguru was sure neither of them remembered who bought what anymore. Stacks of video games, misplaced socks and clothes, manga and notebooks and pens and pencils, posters and cd’s.

So many bits and pieces of his life had only existed as a result of Satoru. And Satoru just wasn’t there anymore.

They say that you don’t realise what you have until it’s gone. Suguru learns that this rings true the hard way.

Satoru might’ve been alive, but not in the way Suguru knew him to be. Reachable by text. A knock next door. A tap on the shoulder. A kick to the shin.

Satoru would now always be farther and farther and unreachable than ever, and Suguru can only find it in him to laugh.

An arrogant, obnoxious, self-absorbed prick. Beyond his capacity for greatness, there was nothing more to him than that. Just another person to walk through Suguru’s life- that’s all he’ll ever be.

Suguru turns down the hall, swings Satoru’s dorm room open, kicks the door shut and collapses onto his bed.

Suguru feels an object press into his thigh from his pocket. Nah. I’ll get a new phone. Besides, not like this is the last time we’ll ever see each other.

He takes Satoru’s phone out of his pocket, and tosses it onto Satoru’s messy drawer.

He’s tired, Suguru decides. For a moment, just a moment, he’ll pretend nothing has changed.

We’ll still be the same, yeah?

(He hopes they will. God, he hopes they will.)

You’ll still be my… one and only, y’know?

(That hurt. Why did that hurt? Why did it make his heart pound and his head spin? Why’d that make him want to throw up and punch the living shit out of Satoru? One and only? Seriously? Did he really have nobody else? Was he the only person Satoru even considered? And why does the implications of that make him want to damn it all and find Satoru himself? Join him on whatever stupid escapade he was on? Betray all of Jujutsu Society and everything he stood for while he was at it?)

Suguru shuts his eyes.

(Things would be easier if they had just forgetten about each other.)

I don’t. Fucking. Know, Suguru.

He takes a deep breath.

(He hates Satoru.)

You love me.

The world stills. Suguru falls asleep. And he dreams of a world where Satoru never left, where he never killed those people, where he stayed alongside him, where things never change. And for some reason, Suguru doesn’t find comfort in that dream. Because somewhere along the way, it all goes wrong, and Suguru ends up dead in an alley.

When Suguru wakes up, he doesn’t remember much of the dream. But he continues on with the small notion of the possibility, that it could be worse. It could all be much, much worse.

And he’ll see Satoru again, someday, somewhere, even if as enemies, Suguru knows.

That at some point, there was just the two of them. And it would always be the two of them, even if the world demands otherwise.

You’ll still be… my one and only, y’know?