Latest Posts by razel-me - Page 2

the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu

This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.

A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.

Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic?  She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing.  But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great.  She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success.  So - what gives?

His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear.  Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles.  He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses.  You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on.  Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered.  He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit.  That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.

I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way.  I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did. 

It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this.  But no one ever told me.  I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes.  No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.

I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed.  I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to.  No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to.  I guess I just didn’t know.  I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.

I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.

I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.

So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while.  But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not.  Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.

17% of cardiac surgeons are women, 17% of tenured professors are women. It just goes on and on. And isn’t that strange that that’s also the percentage of women in crowd scenes in movies? What if we’re actually training people to see that ratio as normal so that when you’re an adult, you don’t notice? …We just heard a fascinating and disturbing study where they looked at the ratio of men and women in groups. And they found that if there’s 17% women, the men in the group think it’s 50-50. And if there’s 33% women, the men perceive that as there being more women in the room than men.

Source: NPR: Hollywood Needs More Women

(via febryafanblog)

I’m gonna be honest: I’ve always hated New Year’s resolutions.

I feel like resolutions are about setting yourself up for shame and failure. For instance, ‘I will adhere to a new diet’ or ‘I will mediate every morning.’ Then one morning, because you’re a human person, you forget to meditate or you don’t have time to meditate or you can’t be bothered to meditate. And then your resolution is broken, and you have failed.

How about this year we start thinking in terms of quests? A quest is completely different from a resolution. For instance, ‘I will take the Ring to Mordor’ or ‘I will find the Arc of the Covenant’ or ‘I will figure out what kind of work makes me happy’ or ‘I will learn how to become open and trusting in my relationships.’

No shame involved. If you’re on your way to Mordor and you take a wrong turn and accidentally end up in Isengard, you haven’t failed. You’ve just gotten a little off course.

A quest is about the intention.

A quest is about the journey.

A quest is of indefinite length and uncertain duration.

A quest allows for unforeseen circumstances and unexpected turns.

A quest cannot be accidentally broken, only voluntarily abandoned.

Sometimes, if the plot changes, you (the hero) might choose to abandon your quest for a different quest, and this is not failure.

This year, I’ve decided to stop thinking about what I should be doing and start thinking about where I’d like to be going.

And then begin by taking a single step.

Previously, I’d only seen the first two panels and assumed it was the complete comic.

This version is much better.

hey kids

you know why I like redemption narratives? because a redemption narrative says: no matter how broken or wrong or bad or stupid or ridiculous or harmful or sad or terrible, you can atone.

there is still a road back. it might be rocky and steep, complicated and messy. walking it may take all your life. you may lose your foothold, slip and fall back into the abyss, but the wall is still there. the ascent is still there. hard is not the same as impossible.

you are never too far gone. you are never beyond saving. 

Honestly the best piece of advice I can give to younger girls trying to figure life out is to completely ignore men. I’m not being quirky or cute when I say that, I mean it seriously. Ignore men’s judgments of you, ignore their insincere compliments, ignore their half-assed romance. Focus on developing yourself. Practice your art, play sports, do theater, volunteer, spend time with your friends, but do not put substantial effort into pleasing men. They’ll be there for you to pursue when the time comes and if you want to. But nothing will waste your youth more than fighting for male acceptance.

Disclaimer: this post applies to everyone. No matter what your grades are, how much your income is, what classes you are taking this applies to you. 

It’s okay to fail 

If you studied for two weeks before the test, stayed up all night studying, made countless amounts of flashcards and you still failed it’s going to be okay. 

Failing is inevitable. You won’t always get the grade you desired, no matter how hard you work. Don’t beat yourself up for not working hard enough, or not studying early, or procrastinating. No one is capable of doing well in all of their scheduled classes without messing up every once in awhile.

It’s okay to not be constantly working

There will be times when it will be incredibly difficult to get started. Everyone procrastinates in some way or another. Please understand that procrastination does not include taking care of yourself. Taking care of yourself means doing whatever it takes to make you feel healthy and happy. Your mental and physical health is just as important as school. 

- breaks are necessary - taking a nap or sleeping is necessary - doing something you enjoy is necessary - exercising is necessary

It’s okay if your day does not go as planned

Did you sleep in? Go on Tumblr for three hours? Not get any work done? That’s okay. When you have free time: sit down, make a schedule of what needs to get done first before anything else, set a timer, and get to work.

It’s okay to Treat Yo’ Self

I’ve always struggled with the idea of giving myself care and love. My New Year’s resolution for 2016 was to love myself the way I love other people. Every time you decide not to do something ask yourself “Would I be proud of my best friend if they did this?” or “Would I do this for my favorite person?” If the answer is yes, then go and do whatever it was you didn’t want to do. Today I made french toast, something I normally wouldn’t do because of the time it takes, but I know I would do it for my best friend if they asked me to. 

Please believe in yourself

Don’t listen to other people when they say you can’t do something, or you’re not good enough, or you’re not trying hard enough. No matter how well they know you they will never know what you’re going through. Getting a single task done is an achievement that should be celebrated.