My Controversial Take For The India Fandom Is To Write India Murdering England With His Bare Hands Instead

hbd 2 our fave boobs! 🇨🇦🇺🇸

I was starting to get self conscious about being the only one with a huge ass device in the casino I’m at- but lo and behold, a person just came in with a laptop

brother in christ, we steal this casino’s free drinks and wifi as a team 🤝🏼

so uh...

would y'all read an unnecessarily long one-shot about alfred f. jones retelling his fall off the grand canyon to ivan braginsky that leads to a talk about immortality existentialism?

warning: petty anger lmfao

yall really gave more flack to a young person upset with a lack of sensitivity in the fandom than to a nazi incest lover who just made a israel oc. fuckin bunch of bitches who only pick on someone smaller than yourselves because you know you’ll win

do you think hws america ever flung himself into the path of a tornado just for the fck of it?

"Stop the Genocide in Palestine"

Seen in Oaxaca, Mexico

"guys the meeting is cancelled, we just started the briefing and we can't get alfred and matthew to stop arguing about drake and kendrick"

I wanna thank the homie Astro for allowing me to ramble on about the language headcanon! <3 here's my attempt at a small breakdown of why he knows these languages fluently:

OSAGE

He first learned the language after working with "the five civilized tribes" to come to a treaty for land exchange with the Cherokee nation. While he was very adamant about letting tribal nations handle their own disputes, he was essentially a US mediator (who was to find the best outcome for the government - which he despised). He was stationed in Pawhuska for months at a time while the treaty was ratified and practiced the language with native community translators. He would not become fluent until the early 1920s when the Osage Nation became the richest community in the world after discovering an enormous oil reserve under their territory.

DINÉ BIZAAD

Like his introduction to the Osage nation, he was sent out to what is now New Mexico to become acquainted with Southwestern tribes (and learn about them to benefit his overseers). It was a terrible idea (on their part) because this only solidified his feeling of uncertainty over land expansion (AKA manifest destiny) and helped him connect to a native community in a way he never had before. The Diné/Navajo communities he encountered were kind but reserved; they had already been attacked by the Spanish, and now they had to prepare to go against another entity - it was a struggle that young immortal Alfred knew well at this point. It was here where he first felt any opposition to his government. It was here where he also began to speak with elders and attempt to document their writings, their practices, and their language. He kept record of all rituals and languages he came across, but Diné Bizaad stuck with him because of how widely spoken it was in the Southwest.

HOPI

Alfred would encounter the Hopi Nation during his first trek to the Southwest. Hopi people are close to the Diné people and often intersect socially and culturally, but are vastly different linguistically and in tradition. He learned the language via young tribal leaders to exchange information about land annexation, but he did have a closer connection than expected... (In my theorized origin story for him) Alfred was born from the Hopi origin story. The story goes that the Creator, Maasaw, asked the people to rise from within the earth and explore its four corners until they reached the center place. Within the Hopi Nation, the center place is known as Chaco Canyon. In the canyon, indigenous peoples all over the Southwest would congregate to trade and rest. Alfred was born on that canyon, and with his walking feet, and a lot of help from other native peoples, reached as far as Virginia - and the rest is history. He would not find out about this until the 1970s (during the height of the American Indian Movement-- I hc he had a really bad mental breakdown at the end of the 1960s that led to this discovery but that's another thing).

MVSKOKE

Mvskoke/Muskogee was one of the first indigenous languages he would learn. He picked up the language before he even became a nation. Muskogee leaders would often meet with his overseers to maintain relations and several leaders (Mary Musgrove definitely taught him) would teach him personally. He was very keen on keeping notes of the language as well. The Creek/Muskogee Nation was considered one of the five "civilized" tribes and was one of the first communities Alfred ingrained himself into.

MASSACHUSETT

Massachusett/Wampanoag and Ojibwa/Ojibwe are mentioned together as they are both languages in the Algic language family. However, they are different in their own right. Wampanoag was the first indigenous language Alfred would learn. He first encountered it when he formally established himself in Jamestown. Many of the settlers in the community already spoke some of the language, but he would pick up the linguistics directly from Algonquian people who would come into town to trade.

OJIBWA

He would learn Ojibwa/Ojibwe during the Revolutionary War (begrudgingly) because Ojibwe natives and Algonquian Ojibwe speakers sided with the British in hopes of not losing their homelands (this is a plight he would upsettingly not understand until much after). He taught it to himself by picking up verbiage among Algonquian allies and would serve as a translator between the Ojibwe people and the "rebels" during negotiations.

our favorite golden retriever boy's bday is soon AND powwow season is just around the corner so here's some indigenous headcanons I've got for alfred f. jones!

he is actively attempting to learn every single native language within his region, but fluently speaks osage, dine bizaad, hopi, mvskoke, and algonquian massachusett and ojibwa

he is the embodiment of sunshine. he can make everyone laugh, and that includes babies. that being said, he has been the reason for at least 100+ babies' first laughs and has proudly thrown parties for each of their families as per the navajo tradition

him (and matt) fully volunteer to drum and sing at powwows, especially at small town ones. they will roadtrip across canada and the us during the summer and absolutely bring the party to the 49. they also do it to overindulge in piccadilly and indian tacos

he is not a religious person but he does acquiesce in spiritual traditions he has picked up from native elders. the major one he uses is smudging. alike the kid from 'sixth sense', he sees dead people-- or ghosts to be exact lol. and he hates them! which is why he will often smudge and pray early in the morning, once a week, to cleanse any spirits from his house

smokes are always in his possession. while he does smoke on occasion, he mostly carries them with him for exchanges. for example, if he encounters a cool mineral on the roadside, instead of just taking it, he will leave tobacco behind as a show of appreciation

he feeds the rez dogs exponentially (even when everyone at every rez keeps telling him not to fuckin do that, you shitass)

put him on your rob list because he owns so many beaded jewelry and turquoise, it may just pay off your student loans and then some

his mutton sandwiches and navajo burgers will make you fall in love with him, no joke

look at this BEAUTIFUL portrait of cowboy America, created by amazing artist (and parent to the greatest Mexico OC) @dahliamorena for an art trade we did!