Stalling For Time Be Like

Have you considered:

Modern furniture is a vengeful god that was never meant to be touched and all those who dare defy it will suffer eternal pain from the pits of hell

Real talk I hate modern interior design. I loathe it. I detest it in the personal vindictive way typically reserved for middle school bullies and extended family members who vote republican. Modern furniture design is grotesque, and not in the fun freaky way I respect. It is disgusting. It is morally indefensible. It has no back support, provides no comfort, no joy, no cushion for my tush or my spine. Minimalism does not exist for you, it in fact resents your very presence and the fact of your birth. These worthless sticks of chrome and pleather furniture are shaped solely to stroke the slimy egoes of fool designers & capitalists & hipster-cum-sports bars that charge $12 for an appetizer. Such morally defunct furnishings are for observation and corporate office waiting room decoration only, their raison d'etre is stubbed toes and back pain, they exist to punish you for having the needs of flesh, how dare you mistake them for friends

You know, having had my name legally changed forever ago, it’s fucking wild to open random accounts and suddenly see my old name, like

*Ahh oop Jump Scare*

If you wear sunglasses would you turn to stone or nah

if medusa wears sunglasses do u not turn to stone

New hot take:

River Song is Miss Frizzle

Prove me wrong, I dare you.

My brain, having a meltdown like a toddler: everything is bad and awful and I absolutely refuse to function in these working conditions *dumps a shitload of adrenaline into the nervous system*

Me, sighing heavily and holding up lorazepam: would ya do it for a Scooby snack?

This. This is the level of sarcastic arrogance I strive to achieve; where even my weapons are snarky, contemptuous bitches

Kate McKinnon is the new relatable gay meme, I don’t make the rules

I love this more than I should

So a couple weeks back @theshitpostcalligrapher had this card that was perfect. It was something i say all the time, so i ordered one from her shop.

It arrived today.

Now i just need something to display it in.

I become more and more of a conspiracy theorist every time I learn something new about the government

Tiktok is making a whole bunch of claims that you shouldn’t curse the government because they have ‘ancient dark magicks that is so much more powerful then us and did we mention Ancient and Dark and every person talking about this spells it magick’ and something about the cia doing astral projection? and I feel like you’d find this funny caretaker

ACTUALLY THAT'S REAL

IM NOT EVEN JOKING THE CIA TRIED TO TRAIN PEOPLE TO SCRY BACK IN THE 50s BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT THE RUSSIANS WERE DOING IT IT TIES INTO THE MKULTRA STUFF

THEY DONT HAVE SORCERERS ANYMORE SO YOU CAN CURSE THEM

I finally found it! The best explanation of my sexuality (demisexual):

Mentally: a romantic

Physically: an asexual

Spiritually: a fucking slut