Concept: a D&D-style fantasy setting where humanity’s weird thing is that we’re the only sapient species that reproduces organically.
Dwarves carve each other out of rock. In theory this can be managed alone, but in practice, few dwarves have mastered all of the necessary skills. Most commonly, it’s a collaborative effort by three to eight individuals. The new dwarf’s body is covered with runes that are in part a recounting of the crafters’ respective lineages, and in part an elaboration of the rights and duties of a member of dwarven society; each dwarf is thus a living legal argument establishing their own existence.
Elves aren’t made, but educated. An elf who wishes to produce offspring selects an ordinary animal and begins teaching it, starting with house-breaking, and progressing through years of increasingly sophisticated lessons. By gradual degrees the animal in question develops reasoning, speech, tool use, and finally the ability to assume a humanoid form at will. Most elves are derived from terrestrial mammals, but there’s at least one community that favours octopuses and squid as its root stock.
Goblins were created by alchemy as servants for an evil wizard, but immediately stole their own formula and rebelled. New goblins are brewed in big brass cauldrons full of exotic reagents; each village keeps a single cauldron in a central location, and emerging goblings are raised by the whole community, with no concept of parentage or lineage. Sometimes they like to add stuff to the goblin soup just to see what happens – there are a lot of weird goblins.
Halflings reproduce via tall tales. Making up fanciful stories about the adventures of fictitious cousins is halfling culture’s main amusement; if a given individual’s story is passed around and elaborated upon by enough people, a halfling answering to that individual’s description just shows up one day. They won’t necessarily possess any truly outlandish abilities that have been attributed to them – mostly you get the sort of person of whom the stories could be plausible exaggerations.
To address the obvious question, yes, this means that dwarves have no cultural notion of childhood, at least not one that humans would recognise as such. Elves and goblins do, though it’s kind of a weird childhood in the case of elves, while with halflings it’s a toss-up; mostly they instantiate as the equivalent of a human 12–14-year-old, and are promptly adopted by a loose affiliation of self-appointed aunts and uncles, though there are outliers in either direction.
petition for a live action version of ratatouille where linguine is played by john mulaney and there’s no actual script, they just let him and a rat loose in a kitchen for an hour and a half
#what i really like about Helga are her proportions
#she’s thin but muscular and has some curves
#but she’s also tall which is unusual for an animated woman
#and her eyes don’t take up half her face
#and she has broad shoulders which i like
Thank you, creators of Atlantis.
All fiction podcast fans share one brain cell and it’s the one that’s responsible for making us all think ‘huh I need to start listening to wtnv again someday’ every once in a while
Showing your favorite song to someone is so embarrassing lol what if I get a bad grade at my own taste and interests....
Taako’s good out here.
sunflower: if there was a door that went to a city that was a good representation of you, what city would it be and would you go through the door?
pink: sunsets or sunrises?
freshly cut grass: are you an early riser? if not, is this because you stay up late?
journal: would you dye your hair if you had the opportunity? why or why not?
painting: in what ways are you creative?
waves: is there one music genre you can’t listen to?
writing: do you write letters? if not, would you like to be?
waterfalls: describe your perfect date.
freckles: what’s something that makes you happy? describe the first thing that comes to your head.
dimples: would you rather be inviting on a hike or a night out?
blushing: describe a rad person you know.
watercolour: talk about something someone you are interested in can do that never fails to make you find them attractive?
pine: if you could only smell one scent for the rest of your life, what would it be?
pink eyeshadow: pasta or pizza?
icy: homemade or takeout?
rosè: what’s your opinion on shyness?
clouds: list your top 5 songs at the moment and how they make you feel
silk: list songs you listen to for a jam
white sheets: where’s somewhere you would love to travel to? why?
black nail polish: what do you do to pamper yourself?
hidden beaches: do you prefer to hang out in a big group or one on one?
crossed fingers: using no negative words, describe your hair.
mocktails: cold weather or hot weather?
thatch - they/them i like the sims a lot and also other things sometimes
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